Guest Suicide King Report post Posted February 16, 2004 No, there is a point here. I was talking over in Janus's promo thread and we got to talking about some of the truly mind-bogglingly ridiculous things that have happened in the fed over the years. The kinds of things you just couldn't get away with on TV. That said, I would like to name my nomination for personal most ridiculous occurrence in the history of the fed. But first, let me set the stage. There once was a former IGNML World Champion, and one-time member of Prime Evil named... the Silencer. He was a big guy, with some serious technical skill. He had no alliances in general, and just went along being his badass self So this truly intimidating specimen of sports entertainment, who always made an example of his opponent whenever they tussled... well, you might wonder what this anti-hero and occasional heel (and member of Prime Evil, the most EVIIIIL stable ever) came out to when he came to the ring? What was his entrance music? What did this truly fear-inducing person rely upon to throw the almighty terror of impending death into his opponents? "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi. snicker. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JST 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 (edited) Well, that would be me here wasting King's thread on the very first reply. Seriously, let's only ruthlessly mock the inactive or the ridiculous, not people whom you might not like winning belts. Edited February 16, 2004 by Suicide King Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I assume this only applies to things that had at least mild bearing on IGN/SWF storylines. If not, I state the promos G wrote about posessing the body of Scott Baio, going to hell to reclaim his body, and having to commandeer the body of Optimus Prime in a vicious battle to the death with Megatron. I think. Anyway, that'd be the easy winner. But since that's probably not the case, there's a ton of stuff to choose from anyway. The Clan and Prime Evil each easily have about a half-dozen instances of hilariously contrived angles. Mayor McCheese and his faked death is near the top of the list, as is Chris Wilson blowing up a toystore in the middle of New York City. My personal choice would be the eXodus storyline, which led into the X/Thugg feud, which was... well... really out there, from what I can remember. But the fact is I can't, so maybe Thugg will enlighten everyone. Anyway. In lieu of that, I have something almost as good. Johnny's original character was a fellow by the name of Brimstone. He was your average, every-day angry hoss, with the exception that he had a horrible, trauma filled past of awful torture and pain and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, because he was a secret millitary experiment to create the perfect killing machine solider... gone WRONG, y'see. He also had a clone. The crowning achievement of Brimmy, without question, is the fact he he once wrote a promo--in a fantasy universe or something--wherein he KILLED Mistress Sarah, Munich, Jake Helmsely(I think) and Grimedogg(JL commish at the time) who were allied in a stable. All were powerless against his AWESOME KILLING POWURZ... which failed to explain why he didn't just use them in all his matches, since he wouldn't have a perfectly average record in that case. Many people got extremely pissed off over the promo, the fact it wasn't canon not withstanding, which lead to Brimmy's response: If YOU don't like the fact he's so awesome with a gun, you COULD just give YOUR wrestler a 9mm as well. Indeed. But hey, on the other hand, it lead to Sarah writing a promo where she "investigated" the REAL reason Brimstone was so eVil... it was because he was "perfected" in a special unit with nothing but gay soldiers, in the most intense pysical training possible! *cough* You've come a ways since then, Johnny, but hey. It still bears mention. -Z Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Suicide King Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Hee. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Is that why you appear to hate Johnny? Because of this Brimstone character? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Suicide King Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Who are you talking to there Wildchild? Me or Z? I don't hate Johnny, but he like most of the rest of us has had his share of truly prodigious fuck-ups. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Well, there was this time a perfectly talented JLer agreed to join the Clan and adopt a character that, despite being something from Marathon that THRILLED the leader of the Clan as well as the JL commissioner at the time, was something he didn't understand at all. Hilarity ensued. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Suicide King Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Even Flesher is not immune. See? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheBostonStrangler 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I joined the fucking Alley. I was in a stable UNDER ICEMAN. That's enough right there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fire and Knives Report post Posted February 16, 2004 There was that one time I wrote a match. K. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HVilleThugg 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I dunno Z...The Thugg/X angle was very realistic and actually, had nothing to do with the eXodus storyline that X ran, pretty much by himself. Unless, of course, you consider the 8 day face turn Thugg had when he and X were starting the revolution against CC...until X disappeared and Thugg had to go crawling back to Chris Wilson, only to win the world title form ELM a few months later...but I digress. But, the eXodus angle was, indeed, a little far-fetched, but I kind of liked it. The problem with it was that it's conclusion involved a fed-wide angle, and CC at the time, wasn't going for it. The X/Thugg fued was hatred stemming from the fact that Thugg was responsible for X's near fatal crash, once again, turning his back on a friend. Years and years of disrespect and beatdowns finally got to X and they fueded. It was actually a good fued that no one really paid attention to. Perhaps the amnesia and such was a little much, but the fued itself really didn't consist of anything that couldn't really happen. The closest we came to an unrealistic spot was when X drove a bulldozer into the arena...but if Austin can drive a beer truck in...then we can drive a bulldozer in. But...to clarify...X/Thugg had absolutely nothing to do with the eXodus the Son angle. The most ridiculous things I've seen are... - Rane magically shrinking to become a light-heavyweight - Chris Wilson's perfectly laid scheme that blew up a toy store in Manhattan with no legal consequences - ELM winning the world title at Genesis by pinning Wilson's hands to the mat by driving the jagged ends of his broken flag through Wilson's palms....then hitting the Mexican Pride Press...then, Wilson showing up on the next show with no physical indication that the event every happened. - Thugg leaping from the second level (right above the tunnel in most arenas) onto Chris Storm...through a bunch of stacked tables. - Divefire's death...then non-death. - Most people's finishers and signature moves... - King ever having sex - Thugg bursting through the center of the ring during a JL show to attack SoS...only to have the ring be a-ok later. - HVT slamming Mak Francis face first with a Thugg Passion onto concrete, with no real structural damage to his face - Perfect Bo pulling a gun on Thugg. - Jay Dawg shooting someone in the leg...I could have sworn that happened. - A guy with the name "Hville Thugg" ever being successful at anything. Da "and there you go..." H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I find it totally non-bizarre that Thugg managed to include himself in every single sentence he wrote. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HVilleThugg 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Hey now! 95% is not all! Da "yes...I'm conceited...I know..." H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hhh6294 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Might be wrong, but I don't think he killed me in that promo Zeddumz. He and I were in RsR together, so he didn't hate me that much I also seem to recall a time way back in the anals of JL history, when an entire stable was made up of one man and his crazy, wacky, and sometimes zany characters. (yes, that would be Kernel Mc Gabbid and his self proclaimed "KFC") ...oh... and there was this other fool named "Rane" or something... I wonder if he ever got anywhere in the fed. One more thing... there was also a time that you would look at the JL roster page and say "where the fuck are these guys?!" as you don't even realize that the JL page hadn't been updated in ages. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fire and Knives Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Brimstone 'killed' JD, Munich, and Sarah, I think. K. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I confirm that above statement due to Brimstone not being happy about being booked in a hogpen match. As for Thugg... I shot myself in the head once... don't remember shooting someone in the leg. *shoots Thugg in the leg* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I tossed Craig McLennan down a flight of stairs and through the floor to the basement .... of a rickety piece of shit house. Then I wiped my feet on his back. I also played flashlight tag...AND I WON. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kaertos 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 For the record, Bo shot Grunge in the leg, way back in the JL. The reaction to the angle was pretty extreme (particuarly from me) and Bo retrofitted the angle to say the gun had blanks, Grunge had a blood pack and it was all orchestrated to get one over on IceMan... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Edwin MacPhisto 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 - King ever having sex You asshole, you made me spit pink lemonade ALL OVER MY DESK. I remember the eXodus storyline. I had a match against X and his first horseman ("Reason," aka Harbinger, the, uh, big guy who...hit things). I also punched Reason in the nuts at least 3 times in that match, which was sweet. I was actually going to be a part of the storyline, if it got that far. I'll be damned if I can remember what it was - X was going have a bunch of horseman, Reason and Apostle being the only two I think he ever got. Then there were going to be four *other* guys...X's designated Apocalypse, or something, that he would designate as having...somethingorother. It's a big blur. However, it did feature X's metal mask, which led to a good two months of CLANG! spots. It also led to the whipback kick, which I promptly stole. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HVilleThugg 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 (edited) Glad I could help Edwin. Yeah...X got Reason and Apostle as two of his 4 horsemen. After being told by Spike and company that he could do the angle, which was going to be fed-wide...they came back and told him he couldn't do it after he had invested a lot of time in the character and such. So, he scrapped it and decided to go for a OOC/IC revolution angle...that also promptly failed because he left for the first of many times. Da "sweet...I made Edwin spit" H EDIT: Ahhh...yes. That was Bo...silly me. I should have known...considering he wanted to shoot me too...kind of crazy. And yeah...that's right JD. I knew someone shot someone...and I guess I got your suicide confused with Bo's ridiculous attempts to be the baddest thug in the SWF. Edited February 16, 2004 by HVilleThugg Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I used to hit people with baguettes. Plus there was the Pie Match *shudders* Oh...anyone remember that match from quite a way back in the SJL where after every nearfall both guys had to take a shot of Vodka. I only vaguely remember, but I'm sure it was Tarakanov and someone. I read that and wanted to join the JL right there and then. Of course, I sucked at match writing, so left it a year or so. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hank Kingsley 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I don't know if Double Jeopardy (and the music) should be counted as an embarrassment or as a triumph. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 *shoots Thugg in the arm* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HVilleThugg 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 *no sells* Da "please...you'll have to do better than that" H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Edwin MacPhisto 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I don't know if Double Jeopardy (and the music) should be counted as an embarrassment or as a triumph. Well, you did win the tag titles. Regrettably. ::shakes head:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Ah god dammit *Shoots Thugg with a ginormous 7 combo gun, capable of long range assault, short term flame throwing, a grenade launcher, an anti tank blast ray, impulse beams created by satellites, body armor piercing bullets and a safety...all complete with Tony Montana shouting out "SAY HELL TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!"* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thoth 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 How can you reminisnce without thinking of all the really bad (and sometimes short-lived JL gimmicks)? Hamsauce: He was a really fat, sloppy redneck. Mark Kinxx: His gimmick was he hated peanuts, and all he could say was "I love peanuts!" His parents wouldn't let him write, though. Captain Falcon: Didn't do much except boast he could... argh, he did SOMETHING to piss us all of, I can't remember what. Lucky: I'll kill that fucker T-Bone: The Steak-Sauce Covered Bastard. That's really about it. And last, and seriously fucking goddamn least: Cutthroat: Remember when he joined as Dragon? And he had that website devoted to him? And we all hated him? And then his "brother" Cutthroat joined? I mean Jesus Christ. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muzz 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 I wish that site was still up. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hank Kingsley 0 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Well, you did win the tag titles. Regrettably. ::shakes head:: One defense in 50 days has to be some kind of record. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Beingz0wningj00 Report post Posted February 16, 2004 Oh and Edwin... I spat pink lemonade all over my monitor the first timeI saw King having sex as well... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
