Why ESPN sucks

[Sandman9000 0]

Well, Suzy Kolber just about had a mental breakdown on the air, which is just about as unprofessional as you can get, save swearing or blatantly slandering someone who isn't there to defend themselves.

 

Add this to Scott Van Pelt's major fuck-up at the end of Master's coverage, and that's two major mistakes made by anchors in the past week.

 

Pathetic. Both should be fired.

 

And I can say this with knowledge that shit does happen in live TV, but to be as unprofessional as both were in dealing with technical mistakes means they should be removed from the company. If I made such a mistake, I'd quit.

[TheDevilAndGodAreRagingInsideMe 0]

What did they do?

[Bored 0]

Well, Suzy Kolber just about had a mental breakdown on the air, which is just about as unprofessional as you can get, save swearing or blatantly slandering someone who isn't there to defend themselves.

 

Add this to Scott Van Pelt's major fuck-up at the end of Master's coverage, and that's two major mistakes made by anchors in the past week.

For someone who didn't see either could you go into detail about what happened in both incidents?

[MrRant 0]

Indeed fill us in Princess.

[Sandman9000 0]

Van Pelt's was just handling miscommunication or some technical problem the wrong way. Van Pelt and someone else was at the Masters, and heading into commercial Van Pelt does the usual outro. They stay with Van Pelt, who then goes into an intro, before saying something to the extent of "Will somebody please tell me what's going on here?" Poor job of handling the situation.

 

Kolber's was more egregious. Tonight she was doing a lead-in into a Apprentice package, when she starts stammering over her words. At first, you think that the teleprompter's messing up, that happens. But she does it a couple more times, before dropping her head to the desk and clearing saying "Oh God." ESPN cuts to the clip, then brings it back suddenly to Dan Patrick, obviously shaken up by Kolber's actions, then does the intro himself without difficulty. After the clip, they play off Kolber's breakdown, with Patrick saying that he'll rehire her for the rest of the show.

 

Kolber's reaction to the voiceover mistake makes me think something else is up. It may just have been a teleprompter problem, but the reaction was unorthodox for a professional reacting to teleprompter problems, especially without how they played off it. The lead-in had the words "you're fired" in it (obviously), and me spider sense is suddenly tingling, and I'm thinking that Kolber's gone soon, even before the egregious on-air screw up.

 

Either way, if anyone watched Dream Job, handling the situation when technical mishaps, especially the teleprompter, occurs is a big part of the job. Van Pelt's error was slightly serious, but Kolber's breakdown should not be tolerated, and if she isn't gone soon, ESPN might think about doing so anyway.

[Guest Redhawk]

1. Bottom Line. Here's my typical Bottom Line experience: let's say the Lakers and Kings played a game earlier that day for which I haven't heard who won. So I'm watching the highlight package on Sportscenter. It's getting into the 4th quarter, the score is close, and the anchor has done a relatively good job of not giving away the result yet. As the game goes into overtime, my eyes drift down to the bottom of the screen....AND THERE'S THE FUCKING SCORE!! Goodbye, Suspense. Sometimes I'll put something like a DVD on the TV table strategically to block the Bottom Line, but a friend suggested I put a strip of electrical tape across the bottom of my screen. But I'm worried it'll stick and never come off. Has anyone tried this?

 

2) Anchors giving away results: As previously mentioned, some of them do a good job. But others...well, put it this way: whenever the anchor says "last chance for the Blazers" before a they take the buzzer-beater, the shot isn't going in. And when they say "at the end of regulation," the game is going to overtime.

 

3) Editorializing: Before reporting that the NBA office had taken away Bob Sura's controversial triple-double, the ESPN anchor said something like, "Bob Sura's attempt was pretty lame" or something like that. Who cares what you think? Just report the story. Let the audience decide if the attempt was lame, or if Carl Everett is a problem child, or if a victory was improbable. Save the editorials for "The Sports Reporters."

 

4) Hot Seat: I HATE this segment, especially how the interviewer tries to get tough. Like they'll ask Mike Martz who's a better QB -- Bulger or Warner. And when Martz gives the standard (and expected) diplomatic answer, the interviewer says "You HAVE to pick one." Or what? Is Mike Greenberg gonna fly to St. Louis and rough somebody up? And I love the awkward pause after they say "Jor Horn, you are now officially off the Budweiser Hot Seat"..........................."Uh, thank you."

 

5) Playmakers: I liked the show, and in fact I'm going to buy the DVD. What's sad is how ESPN totally lost their cojones, caved in to the NFL's paranoid reaction to the show, and pulled it before filming a second season. "Playmakers" was not about the NFL, it was about people who play football, and some of them had issues. That's like a bunch of doctors getting mad because the characters on "ER" have issues.

 

6) Increasingly smaller stat boxes and shorter highlights: Sportscenter is full of so many segments like "Coors Light Six-Pack" and "Fact or Fiction" that they cut out the highlights. Last night they ran off 4 NBA highlights in a total of four plays -- one per game. Remember in the past, when after each highlight they would show a whole screen-sized stat box? Now they show two lines worth of stats, if even that. They only do full-sized boxes on sport-specific shows like "Baseball Tonight," "NFL Primetime" and "NBA 2Night."

 

7) Golf: It's not a sport. Quit acting like it is. But that's just my personal opinion.

 

8) Tired, corny and supposedly "clever" angles: If I hear another "Kobe was IN court this morning and ON the court at night" lead-in, I'm going to break someone's windshield.

 

9) Top 10 nominees: I don't need you to tell me something was a good play. I can figure it out myself. The Top 10 is fine, but this nominees thing is stupid and unneccesary.

[Sass 0]

I like Suzy.

 

That's a shame to hear about her snapping. It sounds like she might have some issues that no one is mentioning. That's a hell of a breakdown to have on TV like that and makes me wonder what's going to happen to her after this fiasco.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

And Stuart Scott --- I watched you when you were a mediocre reporter for an Orlando TV station. You weren't trying to pull off the "street" schtick you're pulling off now (BTW, as a journalist, NO PERSON YOU COVER SHOULD BE YOUR "BOY" OR YOUR "DOG", get it?).

Mike, you're so white that Bob Ryan would NEVER pick your basketball team to win.

 

It's "dawg," not "dog." (Or at least it was when I was back in the rap game.)

 

13) I've never seen Tom Jackson as a competent broadcaster or compelling personality ever. Ever.

 

You forgot the second "ever." And just for the record I've had little kids who were competent broadcasters ask me if it was OK for them to have their own NFL shows.

 

I like Peter Gammons --- but he is a BIT of a BoSox homer.

 

I lost all respect for Gammons when he made a comment back in '95 about how someone in baseball (owners/players/I fogot) was being just as stubborn as the Republican freshmen that were "shutting down" the government. After the Cancer Fairy gets done with Cohn, ol' Pete is next on my list...

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

I personally offer my services to help console Ms. Kolber.

 

::pops some Barry White in the CD player::

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Well if Suzy is gone I wonder who ESPN will use for their token chick NFL sideline reporter?...

[Sandman9000 0]

I'm not saying she's gone, but it didn't seem like an awkward breakdown to what could have just been teleprompter problems, which sets off the ol' spider sense that something else is up.

 

She could be gone, she might not be. She did rebound well enough to finish the rest of the show after the package, though.

[sfaJack 0]

What about how she kept her cool while Joe Namath made a complete ass of himself? Does that count for anything?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Yeah, it made for great TV...

[Damaramu 0]

Who is the other chick that does sports center? The one that's a little bit older?

She's to straight faced for me. I feel no emotion from her.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Linda Cohn, and I've already wished death upon this evil bitch...

[Damaramu 0]

Linda Cohn, and I've already wished death upon this evil bitch...

Are there any good female anchors?

[Guest MikeSC]

Linda Cohn, and I've already wished death upon this evil bitch...

Are there any good female anchors?

Uhh, no. Fortunately, Kolber is fairly hot, so her going insane is just cute. If Cohn flips her wig, it's just sad.

-=Mike

[Damaramu 0]

I don't expect Cohn to flip her wig because she never shows emotion! I mean for the love of god.

I mean someone could make the greatest play ever and she'd be like

*in flat low voice*

"Now watch this. Oh man what a shot. Whoo."

I mean jeez........Golf announcers show more emotion.

Course it's better than the ones that get to excited.

 

*Kobe Bryant breaks away and makes a slam dunk*

"DID YOU SEE THAT!? WHAT A DUNK!! BOO YAH! BOO F'N YAH!"

[Fuzzy Dunlop 0]

Fucking training camps that they try to shove down our throats, and NFL schedules being released in April like we can't possibly wait until two weeks before tickets go on sale.

[Guest MikeSC]

I don't expect Cohn to flip her wig because she never shows emotion! I mean for the love of god.

I mean someone could make the greatest play ever and she'd be like

*in flat low voice*

"Now watch this. Oh man what a shot. Whoo."

I mean jeez........Golf announcers show more emotion.

Course it's better than the ones that get to excited.

 

*Kobe Bryant breaks away and makes a slam dunk*

"DID YOU SEE THAT!? WHAT A DUNK!! BOO YAH! BOO F'N YAH!"

I could see her wetting her pants if a WNBA game got any actual press coverage.

 

Thank God ESPN stopped with their "Basketball is Beautiful" campaign for the WNBA. Their play is many things --- beautiful is not one of them.

-=Mike

[2GOLD 0]

I do remember seeing the Kolber thing and it seemed like she was holding back something. She recovered later but something was up with her.

 

It didn't look like something she should be fired or suspended about, she does a good job and it just seemed like she wasn't really there. Perhaps someone died close to her but she insisted on working.

 

I don't know actually but she did look shook up.

[2GOLD 0]

I don't expect Cohn to flip her wig because she never shows emotion! I mean for the love of god.

I mean someone could make the greatest play ever and she'd be like

*in flat low voice*

"Now watch this. Oh man what a shot. Whoo."

I mean jeez........Golf announcers show more emotion.

Course it's better than the ones that get to excited.

 

*Kobe Bryant breaks away and makes a slam dunk*

"DID YOU SEE THAT!? WHAT A DUNK!! BOO YAH! BOO F'N YAH!"

I could see her wetting her pants if a WNBA game got any actual press coverage.

 

Thank God ESPN stopped with their "Basketball is Beautiful" campaign for the WNBA. Their play is many things --- beautiful is not one of them.

-=Mike

 

I lost respect for the WNBA when they said they wanted to get paid as much as NBA players.

 

The damn NBA players don't deserve the money they get for crap sake.

[Guest MikeSC]

I don't expect Cohn to flip her wig because she never shows emotion! I mean for the love of god.

I mean someone could make the greatest play ever and she'd be like

*in flat low voice*

"Now watch this. Oh man what a shot. Whoo."

I mean jeez........Golf announcers show more emotion.

Course it's better than the ones that get to excited.

 

*Kobe Bryant breaks away and makes a slam dunk*

"DID YOU SEE THAT!? WHAT A DUNK!! BOO YAH! BOO F'N YAH!"

I could see her wetting her pants if a WNBA game got any actual press coverage.

 

Thank God ESPN stopped with their "Basketball is Beautiful" campaign for the WNBA. Their play is many things --- beautiful is not one of them.

-=Mike

 

I lost respect for the WNBA when they said they wanted to get paid as much as NBA players.

 

The damn NBA players don't deserve the money they get for crap sake.

I still think Rome's comment on them was the best ever:

 

"They are threatening to go on strike if they don't get more money. I have an idea: Rather than threatening to strike, threaten to play MORE games if they don't give you more money. That'll bring them to the table"

I do remember seeing the Kolber thing and it seemed like she was holding back something. She recovered later but something was up with her.

 

It didn't look like something she should be fired or suspended about, she does a good job and it just seemed like she wasn't really there. Perhaps someone died close to her but she insisted on working.

 

I don't know actually but she did look shook up.

I don't want her to get fired, as she's one of the few ESPN-related personalities I'd have no problem tapping.

-=Mike

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I don't expect Cohn to flip her wig because she never shows emotion! I mean for the love of god.

Well somebody didn't see her John Rocker anti-single mom wig-flipping...

[Guest MikeSC]

I don't expect Cohn to flip her wig because she never shows emotion! I mean for the love of god.

Well somebody didn't see her John Rocker anti-single mom wig-flipping...

I'd be such a jerk if I appeared on TV.

 

"Well, one thing I can't stand is deadweight on a team --- no offense, Linda..."

-=Mike

[Guest Smues]

All this Linda Cohn bashing has reminded me of the female I hate most on ESPN. Thank christ she's rarely on. Jackie McMullin on Around the Horn. Holy mother of fuck is she a pompus fuckhead. It's hard for someone to make me want Reverand Bill them, but somehow she pulls it off. Her and Dan Lebetard hosting PTI last summer was pure torture.

[Guest MikeSC]

All this Linda Cohn bashing has reminded me of the female I hate most on ESPN. Thank christ she's rarely on. Jackie McMullin on Around the Horn. Holy mother of fuck is she a pompus fuckhead. It's hard for someone to make me want Reverand Bill them, but somehow she pulls it off. Her and Dan Lebetard hosting PTI last summer was pure torture.

Is she gone? I never see her.

-=Mike

...Note: This is not a complaint

[nl5xsk1 0]

If they want attractive anchors/personalities, they should steal either Lisa Hillary or Jennifer Hedger from Canada ... both are very easy on the eyes, and do a good job of reporting sports.

 

http://www.tsn.ca/personalities/images/lisa_hilary.jpg

 

http://www.tsn.ca/images/pictures/sc/hedger.jpg

 

And, Damaramu, I'm kind of confused by your complaint ... you say that it's lazy to keep the same teams on top, but then say that it's stupid that they slightly changed them. The two thoughts seem to contradict each other. The fact that they're different eliminates the 'they're the same' argument. Or am I mis-reading it? (not a flame, a real question)

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Oh God I saw that Jackie chick on ATH the other day. She sucked but made it to the finals -- wtf? She'd say something like "The Lakers are good" and get 10 points for it! Didn't know there was a Title IX for ATH...

[TheDevilAndGodAreRagingInsideMe 0]

Even dating back to Max's ATH days, whenever Bob Ryan or Jackie MacMullen were around, they got huge points and always either go to the finals or win the show.