Best quotes by athletes

[Vern Gagne 0]

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly are all welcome.

 

Charles Shackelford

 

"I can shoot left handed, I can shoot right handed...I'm amphibious"

 

A player from the Spirit of St.Louis of the ABA after being told their 12:00 would arrive in Denver at 11:45.

 

"No way I'm gettin in no time machine"

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

Ewing during the lock out:

 

"We make a lot of money but we spend a lot of money too."

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

"In the end it all comes down to talent. You can talk all you want about intangibles, I just don't know what it means. Talent makes winners, not intangibles."

-Sandy Koufax

 

"The losing streak is bad for the fans, no doubt, but look at it this way. We're making a lot of people happy in other cities."

-Ted Turner

 

"The fans like to see home runs, and we've assembled a pitching staff for their enjoyment.

-Clark Griffith, owner of the Washington Senators

 

"If you hit [Luis] Polonia 100 flyballs, you could make a movie out of it: Catch 22."

-Dennis Lamp

 

"Reggie's a good guy. He'd give you the shirt off his back. Of course, he'd call a press conference to announce it."

-Catfish Hunter

 

"They shouldn't throw at me. I'm the father of five or six kids."

-Tito Fuentes

 

"Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women, and irish whiskey. The other 10 percent I'll probably waste."

-Tug McGraw, describing what he'll do with his 1975 salary.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Tyson's "eat his children" tirade towards Lewis.

[nl5xsk1 0]

It's a coach, not an athlete, but he did play in the NHL so he's a former athlete, and that has to count for something ...

 

... but my favorite all-time sports quote is Jim Schoenfeld yelling at Don Koharski in the hallways after yet-another poorly officiated playoff game. According to the stories, either Koharski (a) fell in the hallway and accused Schoeny of shoving him

or (b) missed a call on the ice due to being on his ass. Either way, Schoenfeld screamed what is perhaps the greatest insult ever uttered at an official.

 

"You fell. Have another doughnut, you fat pig".

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Charles Barkley had a book dedicated to his quotes -- Read that to get my answer.

 

EDIT: Actually, I just remembered this gem. It has nothing to do with pro athletes, but back after the Pirates won their most recent Division title (in '92!) I had a neighbor my age (he had a 0.57 gpa in high school) and said, "You know, if the Pirates went out and got a good hitter like Ken Griffey Jr., and got some decent pitching, they'd be pretty good next year."

 

Such insight...

[Guest Redhawk]

From the mouth of Don King...

 

On his relationship with Julio Cesar Chavez: "We have a marriage, like a father and son."

 

On boxing's ranking system: "When we started, it was based on lies. It's changing now. There are no secrets in the business. You've got to come with the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. It's becoming very confusing."

[Guest Smues]

My favorite was Michael Vick. " I have two weapons - my legs, my arm and my brains."

[Just John 0]

I always liked Jason Kidd's "We're gonna turn this team around 360 degrees" comment.

 

Shaq's potty mouth tirade was pretty funny too.

 

Shaq: These fuckin refs don't know what they're doin'.

Reporter: Shaq, we're on the air.

Shaq: I don't give a fuck.

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

"Yeah, I wish we were on a higher floor"

- Barkley, asked if he had any regrets over throwing a guy through a second-story window during a bar fight

 

and of course, the Rasheed Wallace classic, "both teams played hard"

[Hogan Made Wrestling 0]

Shaq: I'm like the Pythagorean Theorem, there's no answer to my game.

 

Especially hilarious if you know that the Pythagorean Theorem has more known proofs than any other result in mathematics.

[Steviekick 0]

and of course, the Rasheed Wallace classic, "both teams played hard"

That's my favorite, especially the time he ended it with "God bless and good night."

[Red Baron 0]

"There's only going to be one Forum. This place is like a church for a lot of fans across Canada"

 

Guy Lafleur.

 

"If they took our sticks away and gave us brooms, we'd still have fights"

 

Phil Esposito

[The Czech Republic 0]

"What does that C stand for on your sweater? Selfish?"

-Claude Lemieux

[Guest Redhawk]

I always liked Jason Kidd's "We're gonna turn this team around 360 degrees" comment.

I was listening to ESPN Radio last night, and one of their analysts (I think it was Tim Legler) said a team (can't remember which one) had been turned around 360 degrees.

[Guest acnx]

Not an athelete, but Pat Williams, Orlando Magic GM in 1992 while team was 7-27.

 

"We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."

 

Steve Spurrier telling gator fans that a fire at Auburn had destroyed 20 school books...

 

"But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."

 

Stu Grimson, about keeping a photo of himself above his locker...

 

"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my fucking clothes."

 

Tommy Lasorda, when asked what terms Mexican-born Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations...

 

"He wants Texas back."

 

Theismann...

 

"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

 

Doug Collins...

 

"Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win."

 

T-Mac...

 

"My career was sputtering until I did a 360 and got headed in the right direction."

 

And it goes on...and on...and on...

Edited May 5, 2004 by acnx

[DerangedHermit 0]

Ralph Kiner:

"All of Rick Aguilera's saves have come in relief appearances."

"All the Met wins on the road against Los Angeles this year have come at Dodger Stadium."

"It's Father's Day today at Shea, so to all you fathers out there, happy birthday!"

"We'd like to give the Reverend Reggie Jackson a warm Shea Stadium welcome!" (referring actually to Jesse, although both Reggie and Jesse are both dicks)

"The Mets are winless in the month of Atlanta."

 

Tim McCarver: "Well in New York, if you are gonna take a number, 7 is an excellent choice. A lot of baseball history and home runs goes along with it."

Ralph: "Old Eddie Kranepool!"

[Guest Redhawk]

Tim McCarver: "Well in New York, if you are gonna take a number, 7 is an excellent choice. A lot of baseball history and home runs goes along with it."

I heard John Rocker didn't like the No. 7 so much.

[Der Kommissar 0]

Jim Mora following a Saints loss:

 

We couldn't do diddley-poo offensively. We couldn't make a first down. We didn't run the ball. We didn't try to run the ball. We couldn't complete a pass. We sucked. We sucked. It was a horsesass performance in the second half. Horsesass. I'm totally embarrassed, and I'm totally ashamed. We got our ass kicked in the second half. It sucked. It stunk. Cuz they just blocked better, were more tougher, more physical, coached better, did everything better. We sucked.

[Guest Anglesault]

I'm the straw that stirs the drink. Maybe I should say me and Munson...but really, he doesn't enter into it.. He's being so damned insecure about the thing.

 

I'll wait and eventually he'll be whipped...I'm a leader, but leader isn't the right word...It's a matter of PRESENCE...Let me put it this way: No team I am on will ever be humiliated the way the Yankees were by the Reds in the World Series!...Munson thinks he can be the straw that stirs the drink, but he can only stir it bad.

[Guest MikeSC]

Tommy Lasorda to an umpire:

 

"Tommy: Can you toss me for what I think?

Ump: No.

Tommy: Well, I think you're an asshole."

 

And, from the first coach of the Bucs (McKay, I think): "Well, we can't run, block, tackle, or catch --- but other than that, we're not doing too badly."

-=Mike

[Vern Gagne 0]

When a reporter asked Buccs coach John McKay about his teams execution.

 

"I'm for it"

 

Rick Pitino tirade with Celtics

 

"If you think Larry Bird, Robert Parish, and Kevin McHale are going to walk in that door and save the Celtics....i've got news for you those players are going to be old and gray.

[Guest MikeSC]

How about Don Hutson (I believe)

 

"How many passes could you catch if you played today?"

"Probably about 50."

"That few?"

"Well, I would be in my 70's"

-=Mike

[Guest Museite]

Football (soccer)

 

"I never make predictions, and I never will"

Paul Gascogine

 

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7"

David Beckham

 

"I'd like to play for an Italian club like Barcelona"

Mark Draper

 

"Take that, you c*nt"

Roy Keane

 

"I am not Pele or Maradona"

Robbie Savage

 

"When Manchester United are at their best I am close to orgasm"

Gianluca Vialli

 

"I don't like to see players tossed off needlessly"

Andy Gray

 

"Statistics are like miniskirts: they give you good ideas but hide the important things"

Ebbe Skovdahl

 

"The immortal Jackie Milburn died today"

Cliff Morgan

 

"I think Sheffield Wednesday are a very poor football team. They are like a man who's got diarrhoea who can't get his trousers down"

Rodney Marsh

 

"I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing"

Ade Akinbyi

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

How about Don Hutson (I believe)

 

"How many passes could you catch if you played today?"

"Probably about 50."

"That few?"

"Well, I would be in my 70's"

-=Mike

A similar quote was mad about Ty Cobb.

 

"How would Ty Cobb hit today?"

 

"Oh, he'd hit about .260."

 

".260?"

 

"Well, you have to remember the man is 90 years old."

[Dr. Tom 0]

Lou Pinella is at bat, and former ump Steve Palermo is calling balls and strikes. Palermo rings Pinella up on a called third strike.

 

Pinella: "Where the hell was that one at?"

Palermo: "Don't end a sentence with a preposition."

Pinella: "Ok, where the hell was that one at, you asshole?"

[Guest Joe_G]

"The only time I want to talk to a woman when I'm naked is if I'm on top of her or she's on top of me."--Jack Morris when asked about female sportswriters.

[CanadianChris 0]

Tyson's "eat his children" tirade towards Lewis.

That was especially classic for the way he ended it: "Praise be to Allah."

[JHawk 0]

Nobody's mentioned anything from Yogi Berra?

 

"It ain't over 'til it's over."

 

"Yogi, what time is it?"

"You mean right now?"

 

"90% of this game is half mental." (I might have that backwards, but the point's made either way.)

[The Decemberists 0]

Quotes from legendary English soccer manager Brian Clough -

 

If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there.

On the importance of passing to feet.

 

I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball - he might grab mine

On the influx of foreign players.

 

I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one.

 

We talk about it for twenty minutes and then we decide I was right.

On dealing with a player who disagrees.

 

I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard.

On dealing with Roy Keane.

 

I'm not saying Brian Rice is pale and thin, but I'm telling you, the maid in the hotel re-made his bed without realising he was still in it

On player Brian Rice.