Gang Wars Officially Over

[Guest AP Newswire]

HARDCORE DISCUSSION, MONDAY (AP) -- Kyliejunge declared the Gang Wars over and Team Kotzenjunge the victors after Team FrigidSoul effectively ceased to exist and Team Zack Malibu was starting to fracture as well. Team Kotzenjunge wasn't exempt from this either, with its own members expressing fatigue with the concept, but not actually leaving. Team ChokenSault is reported to be lost in the streets of the WWE folder on their way down to Hardcore Discussion to sign the official surrender documents, which Team Zack Malibu and Team FrigidSoul have already honored.

 

"It was entertaining while it was good," said second-in-command of Team Kotzenjunge, CobainWasMurdered. "Then there were just a bunch of homosexual jokes."

 

Team Kotzenjunge's leader blamed the weekend for the Wars' end. "It's summer, it's the weekend, people just aren't going to be posting," he said in his speech following the signing of the surrender documents.

 

Although a pair of Team FrigidSoul posters, Agent of Oblivion and Nevermortal, both quit early on in the conflict, the team didn't really have any problems staying together until the last 24 hours. The last 24 hours also included an extreme dropoff in participation, and participants all acknowledged that it was running out of steam, and once rumors of the wars' end started to spread, a sporadic desertion became a mass exodus.

 

Kyliejunge reportedly was hoping it would last until the return of Anglesault, but the sands had run out on what became recognized as something that was his (despite Nevermortal first coming up with the idea and CobainWasMurdered having a large hand in the initial organization) in the hourglass of board opinion.

 

Anglesault, the leader of Team ChokenSault, ended up missing the entirety of the Gang Wars.

 

The ending came just as Subliminal Animal, a poster who could have saved any team by himself, made his posting return after a series of birthdays over the last two weeks. Team Kotzenjunge also had new people joining all the way up until last night with the joining of Kibigami, but various particpants on all sides had already started planning their withdrawl.

 

"Kotz was just trying to re-live the success of the State days, or this would have died much sooner," said #1 draft pick and Team Kotzenjunge crown jewel David Schwimmer. "This is off the record, right?"

 

Kotzenjunge rebuffed such claims in a press conference after the ceremony.

 

"I just happened to be one of the leaders who became most identified with all of this," he said. "Not trying to re-live anything. It was a pretty positive experience all around, but I was kidding myself to think it could last through the weekend. Still, it's good to end up the victors."

 

Kyliejunge then excused himself to head to his TSM Poster Tournament III campaign headquarters, where he is reported to be in the semi-finals against Red Hot Thumbtack in the Eye and would face the winner of Ripper/Agent of Oblivion.

[The Mandarin 0]

AP Photo

[alfdogg 0]

TMO is going to sue your ass off.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Kotz, why did you change the AP Newswire password.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

TMO is going to sue your ass off.

Indeed.

[EL BRUJ0 0]

Kotz, why did you change the AP Newswire password.

Uh-oh, sounds like trouble in paradise.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Kotz, why did you change the AP Newswire password.

I didn't. You seem to have forgotten it, that's all.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

You're right. I still have the pm Kinetic sent when he created it.

 

So many memories.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

I've got a great idea..

 

The Smart Marks Olympics!

 

It'll be like the Gang Wars, only single posters..

 

*dodges tomatoes, sidesteps off the stage quickly while pulling tortilla chips out of his pocket and dipping them in the smushed tomatoes on his shirt*

[Art Sandusky 0]

We'd require judges for that, but it'd be pretty cool.

[Adam 0]

I call shotgun on judge.

[Nighthawk 0]

You call shotgun? Either you used that incorrectly or I did way too much meth. It's probbly the latter... if I'm not here tomorrow it means I'm dead.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Oh, "Shotgun" is so fucking over-used now, and it means nothing.

 

It was once a car thing, now it sucks dick.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Didn't know Gang Wars officially began...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Oh, "Shotgun" is so fucking over-used now, and it means nothing.

 

It was once a car thing, now it sucks dick.

I think you confused shotguns with your mother, little fella.

[DerangedHermit 0]

Oh, "Shotgun" is so fucking over-used now, and it means nothing.

 

It was once a car thing, now it sucks dick.

I think you confused shotguns with your mother, little fella.

Oh come on, "your mama" jokes are so old...

 

I think he confused "shotgun" with his father.

[1234-5678 0]

I know his sister sure goes off like a shotgun.

[DerangedHermit 0]

I know his sister sure goes off like a shotgun.

More like a Super Machine Gun~!

[Art Sandusky 0]

I just call his sister "Cork."

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

[Guest croweater]

I looked at that picture and thought:

 

"If Kylie took a crap, it would land on that dude's head"

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

Oh, "Shotgun" is so fucking over-used now, and it means nothing.

 

It was once a car thing, now it sucks dick.

Kind of ironic......you saying that something sucks dick.............

[Art Sandusky 0]

I looked at that picture and thought:

 

"If Kylie took a crap, it would land on that dude's head"

Kylie is such an efficient being that she only has 0.000001% of her energy intake turn to waste, and that is simply synthesized by her highly evolved digestive system into simple sweat, which she does a lot of by dancing.

 

Still, I don't get the picture. Who is that guy?

[Zack Malibu 0]

Corky from Life Goes On.

[The Mandarin 0]

Why isn't soccer mom'd in the urban dictionary yet?

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Oh, "Shotgun" is so fucking over-used now, and it means nothing.

 

It was once a car thing, now it sucks dick.

Kind of ironic......you saying that something sucks dick.............

You obviously don't know what "ironic" means.

 

CM, you should cause a ruccass.

[Guest croweater]

I looked at that picture and thought:

 

"If Kylie took a crap, it would land on that dude's head"

Kylie is such an efficient being that she only has 0.000001% of her energy intake turn to waste, and that is simply synthesized by her highly evolved digestive system into simple sweat, which she does a lot of by dancing.

 

Still, I don't get the picture. Who is that guy?

Kylie doesn't eat. That's why she seems so efficient.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Corky from Life Goes On.

He did this presentation at my high school once. I'll be damned if I can remember what it was about, but I got to meet the guy. I remember him being nice and nothing more.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Did you expect him to be anything but nice?

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Arrogant Hollywood star Corky would have been mildly humorous.