Smarkdown Comments~!

[Sly 0]

Just a couple of things I'd like to point out about commentary...

 

First, to who I would assume to be Max King... Bobby Riley is written as an obvious (for the most part) flamer. I.E., a homosexual... so him celebrating the arrival of a female valet would be quite a bit out of character.

 

Second, I don't think I've ever really read Comet cursing during his commentary before... but maybe I just don't pay close enough attention to things.

 

Anyways... show is still going up... we'll have to see how this turns out.

 

Erum... maybe I read that wrong. I'm still going to leave it in there, just in case some of the newer guys hadn't picked up on that part of the character yet or something. Bah.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

MY apologies... my computer collapsed for about 8 hours today, so I was unable to make it past the 3000 mark. Landon looks to have written a good match, and we shall see in the short future.Good stuff so far.

[Thoth 0]

I marked MVS vs Dustin, and Dustin turned in a whizbang of a match, that's very reminiscient of an Edwin/Kibs/Thoth style story-match, but with commentary better than I could do, etc. etc. 88 words over by my count (I use AppleWorks, not M$ bullshit), but I think you can go well above Hardcore Title.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

I didn't screw up too badly, did I?

[Ced 0]

I haven't even read the show, but THANK YOU MAX KING FOR FUCKING KILLING MY SHITTY ASS MATCH BY MERELY SHOWING. No, seriously, thank you.

 

Yeah, I lost, but I would have been so fucking ashamed in myself for I damn near squashed The Icon in my match due to being out of town for most of yesterday. I rushed it so much that I forgot to give poor Max more than a minute of offense...

 

Meh, at least I showed, right?

 

*gets a participant's ribbon as he heads to the losing match crying room*

[King Cucaracha 0]

Congrats to all that won...I'm still skimming the show, but if I get the time I'll try and give real feedback because some of the new guys really deserve it.

 

From what I saw, King and Robzilla's matches were very good efforts for newcomers. Dustin's match was excellent. Sly's match was very good. Masked Man shat on my legacy and shall pay. Or...not. Toxxic...congrats to you man, I marked when I saw it was your match. Taamo...excellent as ever. Ced in the Wayward Sons is goodness, considering what I'm assuming it's leading into which I'm very intrigued by.

 

And me? I'm slightly surprised to win, but that makes no change I guess considering my natural lack of confidence . Still, I ain't complaining.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

Maddix, before you get too enthusiastic, I was in SJL for a time in late 2002.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

First, to who I would assume to be Max King... Bobby Riley is written as an obvious (for the most part) flamer. I.E., a homosexual... so him celebrating the arrival of a female valet would be quite a bit out of character.

I figured he's happy cause Kelly's coming out because that means that Max King will be coming out shortly after.

 

So he celebrates for what's AFTER Kelly.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Masked Man shat on my legacy and shall pay. Or...not.

Well, if this clears anything up, I meant Clark when I said 'the Triple Crown still reeks of that pissant'. Silly me, doing promos at 10:30. Wonderful.

 

The only match I've read so far though was Tom's, and like I told him, I loved the finish. Really great way to end the match.

 

But just skimming, I can say Jesus, Toxxic, you're insane. And, also, I'm liking Austin Sly more and more every show. AND LANDON BEATS JAY DAWG. YEAH!

[Toxxic 0]

Why am I insane?

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Because you've become the co-number 1 contender to the World Title in about 5 months.

[Dace59 0]

Commet Time People:

 

Opening promo stuff. Nice little show hype to get the ball rolling for the rest of the evening as it where. JD gives me props...w00t. Very interestring words about trying to return to the and all. Usual JD threatens to kick ass all over the place. And yes Maddix has lost his mind, he really has. Standing upto JD like that. Good opening number to hype things up.

 

Triple threat of doom for another returnee. Bwahaha at mentioning the bees verus the giant japanese killer hornets thing (go wathc that video people) Gilbert certainly is a cocker guy. I thnik Gilbert is still finding his groove again, as it's suffering from your typical problems, a little dry and thin, but the actio itself is good as are the ideas and commentry. It's pretty fast action, not hard to keep track of. Usual triple threat clusterfuck affair. The style is almost like PBP recap, but could be expanded on to work very well I'm sure. Match was pretty much spot to spot without any selling but nothing can can't be imporved on. And Gilbert is making for a good character.

 

DNS, just makes my job easier.

 

Video package...with Spock as the voice...ROCK! Really sweet and a nice round of jokes as well. TMM brings the comedy and the pimming while he's at it. Good work.

 

Cruiserweight Time it is. Some back history on Sly's rise to glory. Usual jokes about the over pushed n00bs. And Comet has a small dick...charming. Poor Riley, around all those Country Music fans. Sly slides right int the roll of the ccoky heel champ, cheating on the opening lock up. He just does get better with everything he writes. Playing bob and weave with the big man is nice work. Breaking out the Cocky Pin I really mark for. Sly looking like a strong champ arleady, just out working the new guy. Hunt comes back, getting luck with a Spear and it moevs to the outside. Hunt goes for the injured leg, keeping it simple and playing the power guy to Sly's little champ. Sly rolls out after the leg work for a breath. Sly's definatly impoving on his pysch and selling as well as carrying on the style of the crusierweight champ from Dangerous. Ahh, I love that DQ ending. Hunt looks strong without getting totaly beaten, Sly doesn't get beaten either and it really fits the cocky character he's build.

 

Onwards with the show. King continues is ego trip, he even gets his better half to introduce him (does that top the crowd call in my entrance I wonder?) Quickl the power/speed balance gets set up in the opening two spots, which is good work. Nice run climbing reversal spot from Ced, even if it is early to break into the two counts. King bails out like a true heel, with the usual spot that stalls for Ced to hit an Missle Dropkick. Back inside and Kick shifts back to the power guys, mauling Ced on the mat and going after the neckwork he starts. Flying Elbow Drop misses, gives Ced time to recover, nail a speed rusha and a rana for a close fall. Cross Lightning attempt to a roll up. Another roll out, another top rope dive but this time King catches it and planets Ced on the floor. Back in and Ced just makes a reversal, but the Fire Soul is blocked, King Buster and it's over. Defiantly an imporvment. Still needs some work on selling, but as a real match goes, it's got a basic story and psych being in. So King's showing he's got the goods to take it further.

 

Promo time. Johnny is training hard for his match and even admits that he's probably gonna get his ass kicked. This one should be interesting.

 

Hardcore Title Match Time now folks. Flashy cruiserweight action to kick things into action at first. It's Headlock-O-Rama in the SWF once again, with Dustin and MVS taking the technical cruiser appoarch to things, as Dustin drops down to Headlock MVS again. Back up and the same spot again, but this time MVS gets a gut wrench and Dustin pulls out a Dragon Kid style Satitle Spinning Headscissors, to show off his speed. Dustin out paces Mike's offence and just drops him with a Release German. Springboard Rana gets blocked...but a handwalking spot...that's beautiful and a wondeful way to play up the speed advantage (one of the many things Wildchild should have done but never did) Into a Sunset Flip but no good. Aborted dive to the outside, and a big ass Springboard Moonsault to the outside. Dustin really coming into his own in the cruiserweight aspect. MVS cheats his way back to the lead and starts to bring out the toys for this one. MVS using the weapons to take out Dustin and keep him from flying. Bit drop on the sign and three ultra close covers form Mike. Dustin fights back with a desperation superkick and hardcore wizard. But it's not enough this time. And now the ladder's in play. Dustin takes MVS down and goes up, but the old ref shoved into the ropes spot comes into play. Real Deal of the ladder finally and it's over. Interesting mix of Hardcore and Curiserweight action. Lacking in both their usual areas but a fun match, Definatly showing Ryan Dustin coming into his own.

 

Another promo. And Alan Clark goes heel on Eddy James...? To get him to hit him and channel his anger....right.... I see, sure. Clark is trying to fire him up. And now Ced is a Wayward Son...ok that's left field people. Really left field.

 

And another promo. And Allison Onita is not happy about Zed's booking. Flesher is getting screwd and not in the right way apperntly. And Flesher isn't happy about having to face Johnny it seems. Ohh....tension and it looks like Johnny is in for an ass kicking.

 

Number one contenders match now. Ahh Toxxic, you're so lucky you changed your match boy-o. As you actually won. Toxxic goes at it straight from the bat, trying not to having to lock up with Danny. Bt Danny catches him and just starts to batter him. Toxxic only just holds his own on the mat due to his speed advantage. Toxxic tries to keep moving but gets plastered with a rolling elbow and it's almost over right there. Slight lack of follow but, but Danny tries to drill Toxxic with a springboard elbow but just gets dropkicked out of the air like Spike did. Roll up run, trying to end it fast but it's no good. Toxxic uses his speed to stay ahead, and flattens Danny on the outside. Danny busts his arm on the outside just like his submissions match on the last show. Toxxic takes in back inside and uses his speed to work over Danny's arm. Finally works up to the Repeat to Fade but Danny escapes and eblows an eblow smash with his bad arm. Another close fall and Danny goes back to work, just plastering Toxxic again. Toxxic tries the Role Reversal but this time Danny dropkicks him out of the air. Dangerous German, but Toxxic just flips out and finally gets on the Repeat to Fade again, the armwokr allowing him to hold on for the win.

 

Yet another promo. Toxxic looks to be slinking off into the night after his match. But Spike of all people wants a talk with him? This looks to be interesting. Spike want to pick up Toxxic's style..odd but interesting.

 

And now, the dreaded Boiler Room Brawl. Maddix seems to have regained his mind and is bringing back up with him. And now he's afair of JD again.. smart man as he just bolts for the door as soon as he sees him. JD cuts him off and just starts to beat the hell out of Maddix as it's JD's home turf. So Maddix resorts to being an old school heel to save his ass and just legs it. JD gives a Shining Black to a filing cabinet, nice. Maddix is just playing cat and mouse with a little comedy edge here. The best way he could of handled this situation. JD jsut ends up completely out hardcoring Maddix and exitting it boiler room, only take take a Calling Card for his troubles. And now there's an crowd for this fight! And now they're battling into the commisioners office as well, poor Zenon. Just a completely clusterfuck of a brawl with shots into every single fixture and fitting they can find. Battling out onto the ramp, and Maddix keeps getting his ass kicked. Big ass suplex to the floor. And we dont have the usual finish...my GOD! Ref bump and the match carries on. Maddix retains but gets his ass kicked one last time for good measure.

 

And now for the main event of the evening folks. The entrances if supreme flash. That have been c/ped I see as Johnny magicaly turns into Dace at one point. Flesher starts things straight of with the old tidal wave crush routine, taking Dangerous out. Flesher so goes to ground with Chinlock, keeping it simple and heelish. Johnny fights out only to be taken down again. Deadlify German and a bootchoke. Ahhh... the good old dick heel Flesher, how I love the character. Flesher is just dominating Johnny and kicking his ass at every turn so far. As Dangerous faces a complete reversal from his usual roll as the man. Flesher just throwing Dangerous over the top rope is another nice heelish touch and further playing up his usual act as the man and a dickish heel vet. Headlock of doom...but Johnny fights out~! Johnny uses the shock to his advantage and seems almost to be in the underdog role now. Flesher finall rolls back in and Johnny launches off a frantic series of kicks and dropkicks to get himself an advantage. Enzui-missile dropkick for another close fall as Johnny takes the fight to somewhere that gives him a better chance against Flesher. Rolling Suplex for another close fall, as Johhnnt is running his spots, trying to put Flesher down. Flesher escapes the MI Slam and score the old low blow then takes it to Johnny, ramming him into the buckles. Flesher goes to work on the shoulder and takes it apart. But Johnny reverses and now pulls the same stuff Flesher did at the start of the match. Death from Above misses, Release German, Ego Buster and it's all over. Another kick ass Flesher match with a good story that puts everyone over. Damn you and your skill Tom. Good work man.

 

Over all (Y). Good job people

[Guest Suicide King]

As already mentioned Rob, your style was very dry and staccato. It was all, "A happens, then B happens, then C happens." You're gonna need more description in future matches as you move up the card, but it was a very respectable first showing.

 

I hope Manson posts his match, with the BEST ENDING EVER.

Edited June 29, 2004 by Suicide King

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Dace, it's not ENTIRELY out of left field, as in storylines I did have Ced teaching Clark a few things here and there over the past few months, and with that whole arcade thing, I found it a nice way to tie everything together.

 

Christ, who knew that silly change machine thing would lead to this...

 

...well, possibly me.

[Sly 0]

It seems rather odd to me that I'd been running a mentor angle with NTD for a bit and then you decide to pick up a very similar angle out of next-to-nowhere.

 

Just my opinion, of course.

[Lightning Flik 0]

Somethings just happen that way, Sly. Besides, I liked how it worked out. And I don't really think it was intentional for Rando to do so. Besides, it is more of a trying to get James motivated, then mentoring. He'll get advice sure, but I think the rest of the Wayward Sons will be just trying to get James going.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Yeah, Sly...I wasn't trying to bust in on your turf or anything.

 

So now Austin doesn't like pants?? Interesting.

[janusd 0]

It seems rather odd to me that I'd been running a mentor angle with NTD for a bit and then you decide to pick up a very similar angle out of next-to-nowhere.

 

Just my opinion, of course. 

It happens. You should have seen my face when he started debuting the whole "Alan Clark has multiple personalities....sorta" thing.

 

Show comments, show comments... good show, all. I'm not one for flashy words, so congrats to winners, a Nelson "HAW HAW!" to the losers just because () and to the co-cotenders to the World Title...

 

....

 

.......

 

*runs away*

[The Amazing Rando 0]

i explained the "multiple personality" thing... Terrance/Janus has a real mental health problem (if it can be called that), and Alan in fact is just using his past as a way to screw with people, a scare tactic/mind game type thing...that doesn't exactly work.

[Guest Tonights Highlite]

Good show. The matches were very good from what I saw. I'll makes some better comments when I get some more time, to read the show in detail.

[Ace309 0]

Opening Promo

- Nice banter between JD and Maddix to get some heat on the later match.

 

Rob Gilbert vs. Manson vs. Munich

- The writing style’s very dry, as others have said. Also…

Gilbert starts to strut once again, but his strut is interrupted by Munich hitting the Guilty Pleasure on him. Munich goes for a cover.

 

One!

 

Manson breaks the cover with a stomp to Munich.

 

I don’t like having to go to the stats to figure out what just happened. I’m borderline illiterate and any extra reading leads to eyestrain and makes me angry and tired. I don’t know what happened there, but if it’s getting a count, the Guilty Pleasure could stand some description and some sort of… way of indicating that there’s some oomph there.

 

You’re also writing Comet as Gorilla Monsoon. That’s totally excusable for someone who hasn’t had a chance to get familiar with the character, but I hope it evens itself out soon.

 

The action was good. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

 

Heath Black vs. Petey the (Irish) Penguin

- Shame there was nothing here. IL may have been taking his own advice to heart, which makes him an awful person.

 

How’s Petey going to get over if he’s not on the card?

 

Masked Man Vid Pack featuring Leonard Nimoy

- I prefer George Takei.

 

I also like that it’s just the US Title now. Good stuff.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Austin Sly © vs. Big Country

- Don’t call it a frat. It’s a fraternity. Would you call your Big Country a…?

 

Never mind.

 

Pretty spottastic action that lacked a little in the punch department, but that’s not unusual. It was a tiny bit dry to read, but the action was good and I loved the finish. (Y)

 

“The Icon” Max King vs. Ced Ordonez

- The match felt a little thin. Word-count says that it was a few shy of 2300, which isn’t much, and it seemed to go from big spot to big spot to big spot. Not to say that’s a bad thing… it was a WWE-style three-minute TV match, and that’s eminently doable (not everything needs to have 17 layers of psychology, after all), but it could have used a bit more description. Still, you handled Ced’s character very well, and I was happy to see another talented rookie on the card.

 

Johnny Dangerous promo

- The singlet has special meaning for Johnny, which lends a certain feeling of … urgency, maybe, or at least importance, to the match. I like it.

 

Hardcore Championship: Mike Van Siclen © vs. Ryan Dustin

- Dueling headlocks open up the match, which feels a little weird in a hardcore environment, but que sera sera. Dustin’s Bruce Lee taunt was cute. Ha! A Keep Off sign. I love hardcore. The ladder spot makes me appreciate Van Siclen’s heel role more and more by the minute. All in all, it’s a very nice Hardcore match, with Mike running the “pure” hardcore spots and Dustin popping the crowd. It finishes with Mike going to the ladder, which is Dustin’s domain, and paying for it. Great storytelling and good humor… and heaven knows this fed could use more ice cream.

 

Wayward Sons promo

- The Coy West cameo was pleasantly Rockish. I have to wonder, though, with no offense to Ced… what exactly has he done to be a “mentor?”

 

Allison Onita/Tom Flesher promo

- I need to skip the promoing and just write the gist in dialog form.

Allison: So Alex, Tom’s mad at you.

Alex: [rolls eyes] Tom’s mad at me.

Allison: Blah blah blah contendership! [stomps off]

Alex: [gets up to close door, sees Tom] Tom, I hear you’re mad at me.

Tom: [blows smoke] I’m mad at you. [stomps off]

Alex: Tom has an ego.

 

And preferably, I need to write it in crayon.

 

#1.5 Contender Match: Toxxic vs. Danny Williams

- The first thing that struck me about this was the great comic commentary. I was thoroughly impressed with the number of other-people references in the commentary and the fact that they were all on-point.

 

The second thing I noticed was the big dump in my pants. Christ, when did you get competitive at this level?

 

Pretty good story here. Taking Danny’s arm away from him is becoming cliché, but I like the way you handled it and your stats would have had me screaming if you didn’t write that style of match. The only thing I would have done differently is had Toxxic sell the left-armed enzuilariato as less effective. It is, after all, his nondominant arm, and what’s the point of taking out the right arm to eliminate offence if the left can do it just as well? Still, thoroughly impressed, and if this was WWE I’d compliment Danno on giving Toxxic the Rub.

 

Toxxic/Spike promo

- Does what it needs to do.

 

Boiler Room Brawl for the ICTV Title: Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix vs. Jamie Drazon

- Maddix is such a wuss. I love it. Solid comic match, playing off Landon’s wussitude and Drazon’s hradkorosity. Excellent stuff.

 

Tom Flesher (soon to be ©) vs. Johnny Dangerous

- I like to think I told a good story here, so I was a little disappointed that Dace glazed over the double stomp in the finish (which was sort of the end of the ‘anything you can do, I can do better’ story in the match). I had some fun writing this, and Johnny was pleased with how I handled the character… so all in all, I hope this went over well.

[Guest Tonights Highlite]

Opening Promo

 

This introduces us to the returning Jamie Drazon well. It hints at his hardcore past accomplishments and the hype machine is in full effect for this one. Sets-up a vet vs. upstart rookie dynamic and allows Drazon to prove his credibility in a Boiler Room Brawl, by saying he beat TNT in one.

 

The three way

 

I don't have anything to say past what others have. You got the win and established your character as a winner from the start, which bodes well. A solid wrestling encounter.

 

MM speaks

 

I saw a Buffy quote in there somewhere, so that's a plus. Good way to put heat on your upcoming match with Alan Clark. I'm getting a quality dick heel vibe.

 

Spotastic till the last drop

 

Seemed like the definition of a spot to spot cruiser match with some psych thrown in there. Sly establishes himself as the heel champ early, with the cocky pin and doesn't look back, using the steps to his advantage also. Leg psych makes sense in a cruiser match, to limit the champs high-flying (which incidentily, won him the match against Johnny Dangerous) and the finish is smart. Austin's leg is hurt so why not just get the hell out of the ring, when you see a chance. It's better than walking out, because then you actually lose the match and this way, you've one-uped your opponent. Are you going for a classic Honky Tonk Man reign? Cause that would rock!

 

And the rest later.