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Vern Gagne

Worst Sports Cliches

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I don't mind the one about leaving it all out on the field.

Though one game at a time does annoy me. It seems to have always been an excuse for "We know what we're fucking doing and we have it all planned out." or "We have no fucking clue what's going on."

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Guest Vitamin X

"We just need to make some adjustments" after getting assfucked in the first half. I really wanted to see a coach, especially Holmgren in the infamous 1998 Monday night game against Minnesota say "Well damn Randy Moss just smoked us. We'll be lucky to win."

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Guest Mindless_Aggression

I await for the halftime interview where a coach says "We just need to make some adjustments, the biggest being the self inflicted gunshot to the head that I apply here in a few, thanks and God bless"

 

I can't stand when a guy does an interview after the game and kisses the other team's ass more than his own. Fuck being humble, I want someone to go on a 5 minute rant about the ass whipping that they just laid on the Lakers/Yankees/whomever. It'd be refreshing from the norm of "They're a great team and we're happy to get the win" Be an asshole Tim Duncan, come on.

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"Giving it <anything over 100> percent". I once had a math teacher who was a distance runner who explained that you can have a potential 100+% but you know that the athletes aren't thinking of that when they say it.

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One thing that I've noticed in recent years is when talking heads are discussing playoff brackets one of them always manages to say about a lower seed or two "Well, I wouldn't to be playing THEM in the playoffs..."

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Anyone who praises God for the victory after the game. Like God gives a crap whether your team wins. And why would He want the other team to lose?

 

Oh, and the Rasheed Wallace classic, "Both teams played hard."

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Guest Fook
Anyone who praises God for the victory after the game. Like God gives a crap whether your team wins. And why would He want the other team to lose?

Just once, I'd like to see the loser blame God. Not just at sports, but at award ceremonies and such.

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Guest Olympic Slam

"Our backs are up against the wall, but we're just going to have to step it up and take it one game at a time." - Every post-game player interview EVER in any playoff series.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Anything where a fan takes a station's letters and makes some clever phrase, like

 

Can't

Beat

Sacramento or whatever.

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At the draft: "This kid has tremendous upside"

Which serves to remind me how I miss how Hubie Brown found a "tremendous upside" in just about every draft pick...

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when I was in little league, I always LOATHED when players when on the field would say to the pitcher, "you just throw the ball to the batter, we'll take care of the rest" then the pitcher would go on to do just that, only the fielders would take care of turning a routine flyout or groundout into a single +error leading to a double or triple...LOL.

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I always get frustrated when a team's best hitter will ground out, but still move a runner over and the announcer will talk about 'How he did his job.' What? I realize that no one gets on base 100% of the time, but he's not in the line-up to sacrifice himself so that someone can be at 2nd instead of 1st.

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Whenever a pitcher gets a hit to drive in a run, the announcers are lightning-quick to say, "he's really helping his own cause today." OK, he is, but don't say it every fucking time it happens.

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Thanking god after a victory or having group prayer after the game, which is nothing wrong with that I guess but its too common in sports today.

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It was a total team effort coming from a guy who just had like 40 points. Don't be modest, everyone knows you're the reason your team won.

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