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I have just discovered the single greatest band


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Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

HATEBEAK

 

The world's only death metal band with a PARROT for a lead singer.

 

I swear.

Posted
Hatebeak

 

picture_hatebeak.jpg

 

Face-crushing guitars, head-pounding drums, bass so low you'll vacate your bowels, and vocals so scorching, so extreme they simply can't be human! They're not. This death metal outfit with a parrot for a singer makes trashes the pathetic birdfeeder you call the metal underground!

That's correct, a parrot for a singer, savaging you with feathers of razored steel! This is not Jimmy Buffet's parrot - be warned! Try as one might, they will not escape the claw; nothing can dodge the talons of hate!! These three songs are an ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY beak in the ass of all things sacred in the underground. The holiest shrines of metal and hardcore seriousness are duly trashed, burned, laid to waste, smeared in Avian excrement. The pecking order has been established! For the last time, it really is a parrot, not the loser from Six Feet Under.

Groundbreaking, nest-crushing, egg-shattering! You can run, but you can't fly.

 

The constant parrot references make that.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

I've also found a grind band fronted by two pit bulls.

 

CANINUS.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

The avian death metal references are priceless.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

..they're fronted by a PARROT. I don't think anyone's taking them seriously in the first place.

Guest Mindless_Aggression
Posted

There is no reason for Mike Patton not to do a song with this group.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted
A better gimmick would be one of these bands not using a drum machine.

Shut up you lumpy Black Metal twat. Drum machines don't get drunk and forget practice, plus they're easy to find and will play whatever you tell them to, and they don't crash cymbals when everyone is trying to tune.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Is he worth a shit? I'm talking blast and groove precision, multiple time signatures...

  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

Black metal drummers have to look like they're shitting and fucking and dying all at once. You just described a grind drummer.

Guest TheZsaszHorsemen
Posted

If they were power metal it would be ten times funnier.

Guest Agent of Oblivion
Posted

A power metal act would be the one to actually take it seriously. They'd probably use an eagle or a falcon, though.

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