I have just discovered the single greatest band

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

HATEBEAK

 

The world's only death metal band with a PARROT for a lead singer.

 

I swear.

[caboose 0]

Hatebeak

 

 

Face-crushing guitars, head-pounding drums, bass so low you'll vacate your bowels, and vocals so scorching, so extreme they simply can't be human! They're not. This death metal outfit with a parrot for a singer makes trashes the pathetic birdfeeder you call the metal underground!

That's correct, a parrot for a singer, savaging you with feathers of razored steel! This is not Jimmy Buffet's parrot - be warned! Try as one might, they will not escape the claw; nothing can dodge the talons of hate!! These three songs are an ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY beak in the ass of all things sacred in the underground. The holiest shrines of metal and hardcore seriousness are duly trashed, burned, laid to waste, smeared in Avian excrement. The pecking order has been established! For the last time, it really is a parrot, not the loser from Six Feet Under.

Groundbreaking, nest-crushing, egg-shattering! You can run, but you can't fly.

 

The constant parrot references make that.

[Red Baron 0]

wow...what a gimmick

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I've also found a grind band fronted by two pit bulls.

 

CANINUS.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

 

HATEBEAK:

1. Beak of Putrefaction

2. God of Empty Nest

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

The avian death metal references are priceless.

[Red Baron 0]

or you know

 

rip off the Hatebreed logo to some degree and steal the album cover of Judas Priest Screaming For Vengance

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

..they're fronted by a PARROT. I don't think anyone's taking them seriously in the first place.

[Red Baron 0]

I don't know, people these days are pretty stupid.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Can't wait until the PETA people hear about this...

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

A better gimmick would be one of these bands not using a drum machine.

[Steviekick 0]

That was funny as hell. I liked it.

[Guest Mindless_Aggression]

There is no reason for Mike Patton not to do a song with this group.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Is it just me, or does the Parrot sound A LOT like Dani Filth?

[Lil' Bitch 0]

 

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

A better gimmick would be one of these bands not using a drum machine.

Shut up you lumpy Black Metal twat. Drum machines don't get drunk and forget practice, plus they're easy to find and will play whatever you tell them to, and they don't crash cymbals when everyone is trying to tune.

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

My drummer does none of those things and he plays anything I tell him.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Is he worth a shit? I'm talking blast and groove precision, multiple time signatures...

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

He can duplicate basically any drummer except for maybe guys like Flo or Frost. He doesn't yet have full musical understanding of what's available to him but he's young and adaptable. Not like my Black Metal really needs wild timings and all that anyway.

[Nevermortal 0]

How did I just discover this thread now.

[Slayer 0]

My drummer does none of those things and he plays anything I tell him.

"You there, flail your arms and legs wildly..."

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Black metal drummers have to look like they're shitting and fucking and dying all at once. You just described a grind drummer.

[razazteca 0]

Do they talk to themselves while playing the drums like Lars?

[Guest TheZsaszHorsemen]

If they were power metal it would be ten times funnier.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

A power metal act would be the one to actually take it seriously. They'd probably use an eagle or a falcon, though.

[PLAGIARISM! 0]

Oh. Fuck. Yes.

[Slickster 0]

My God.

[WhenDanSaysJump 0]

Awesome.

 

Just awesome.

 

Yet scary.