Best Wrestling Quotes...

[Jericholic82 0]

From RR '92

*Roddy attacks someone who was about to eliminate Flair*

Heenan: I always liked Roddy. I'm sorry, it's not a skirt, it's a kilt.

*Roddy attacks Flair*

Heenan: No! No! It's a skirt, it's a skirt!

 

and I don't remember quite what the quote was, but it was Austin from just before a Royal Rumble, saying his beer belly gave him a lower center of gravity, so he'd be harder to eliminate.

It was Jake Roberts who was attacking flair

[chaosrage 0]

"Well, well, well... Despite what the Florida tourism board has been feeding all of you ignorant people, it is I every females top tourist destination and the man who's crotch is truly the happiest place on earth. The man who makes Minnie Mouse's panties wet and the man who just last night helped Daisy Duck fulfill her dream as she took one for the team and I made her squeal and scream as I filled her full of cream. It is I, the bacon in her eggs, the man for whom she begs and the face between her legs. The Quintessential and original studmuffin and a Good Lord, have mercy God damn handsome man, Joel 'I shoot out a full condom filla and it tastes like vanilla' Gertner'"

[Special K 0]

"Take a look at this." (what?) "You know what this is?" (what?) "It's a beer belly!" (what?) "A beer belly!" (what?) "A beer belly!" (what?)

 

Those interviews were downright surreal.

 

Joel "All the ladies at home, and here in Dayton, are watching me, and masturbatin'" Gertner!

Edited December 11, 2005 by Special K

[Guest DuDe]

"How dare you crack whip at the American Dream" - Dusty Rhodes

 

"For you Flair, for you, the game is over" - HHH, I believe a week after RAW Homecoming. Notice how it can be interpretted as "The Game is over", Trips working the IWC yet again

Edited December 11, 2005 by DuDe

[Ravenbomb 0]

From RR '92

*Roddy attacks someone who was about to eliminate Flair*

Heenan: I always liked Roddy. I'm sorry, it's not a skirt, it's a kilt.

*Roddy attacks Flair*

Heenan: No! No! It's a skirt, it's a skirt!

 

and I don't remember quite what the quote was, but it was Austin from just before a Royal Rumble, saying his beer belly gave him a lower center of gravity, so he'd be harder to eliminate.

It was Jake Roberts who was attacking flair

 

Yeah, now I remember.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Vince walks like he has a broomstick up his ass. - John Cena commenting on McMahon's strut on the RAW Top Ten Special

[Darth Vader 0]

"The Heartbreak Kid doesn't lay down for anybody..................cuz he's always-bendin'-over OW!"

 

 

 

(King and Michael Cole are speculating who HHH is trying to call out from the locker room)

 

HHH: Tonight I'm going to fight the man with balls the size of grape fruits.

 

King: Me?

 

 

 

HBK:Wow when Bret wakes up from that his clothes are gonna be outta style, oh wait they already are.

[Jericholic82 0]

"Jannetty tried to dive through the window to escape!"

 

Bobby Heenan during the infamous Rockers on The Barber Shop Segment

[Guest hasbeen]

Not exceptional words but what I remember was the intensity: Heenan and Patera were having an inring debate in around 88, after Patera turned face and fired Heenan. Heenan talked rings around him, naturally, with something like this to end it: All the time when I managed you, you were talking about how you wanted a belt, you wanted a belt. Well you didn't get me a belt, you never got me anything. You still want a belt, I've got you a belt..Heenan takes his own regular belt off and began to whip Patera with it, of course this leads to a beating and I believe Heenan had a legit neck injury from it.

[Guest Human Highlight Reel]

Eddie Guerrero after apologising to Heyman: "When I said I was sorry, I forgot to tell you.......I LIED!"

 

The Rock: "That means-uh! He's gotta beat the Game-uh! In the middle of the ring-uh! Who has a two dollar slut for a wife-uh!"

 

Foley has just been chokeslammed through the cell. King: "That's it, he's dead"

[MillenniumMan831 0]

From Jan95, Vince is in the ring just about to start an interview w/ Diesel. Lawler is doing commentary.

 

*Diesel fireworks begin to taper off*

Lawler: Royal prediction . . . McMahon starts the interview by saying 'Alright!'

McMahon: Alright . . .

Lawler: Hahaha!!!

[Hoff 0]

After Austin threw the IC belt into a river in late '97...

 

Vince: "So what am I supposed to do with you? Should I fire you?"

Rocky: "The Rock thinks you should fire him."

Vince: "Stay out of this. You stay out of this."

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

Dusty: "I aint never seen nothin like this and Ive been to three goat ropings and an all night fair, daddy!"

 

SS Graham : I’ll make your back crack, your knees freeze and your liver quiver!

[Just John 0]

Dusty Rhodes has so many memorable quotes:

 

(Starrcade 95)

Heenan: Oh, he was playing possum.

Rhodes: What!? How can ya play possum? You getta gun an' chase me uppa tree and I say "Imma possum, Imma possum..."

Heenan: You've never heard of PLAYING POSSUM???

 

(Slamboree 96)

*Rocco Rock falls down after stomping Chris Benoit*

Rhodes: ... And he kicked him so hard, that it threwed him off balance. It's kinda like stompin' a rock. Ya eva did that? Stomp a rock?

Heenan: No, I've never stomped a rock!

 

(Fall Brawl 96)

*Rey does his 619 diving fake*

Rhodes: Well, lordy dordy, boola boola boola!

Yeah, he actually said that.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Dusty Rhodes is the Don Vito of the wrestling world. I want him as the Raw GM.

[JHawk 0]

SuperBrawl III.

 

Jesse Ventura: "Always take the easy way out. That's a lesson for all the kids out there."

Tony Schiavone: "Jesse, you have kids watching. I have kids watching."

Ventura: "And if they listen to me, they'll take the easy way."

[... 0]

Circa early 2001, Raw. Big Show is wandering around backstage yellin' and huffin' and puffin', looking for someone. He opens a door and gets beaten up by Kane and UT.

 

UT: "Next time, KNOCK."

[Wrestlefreak 0]

'Taker: "Judging from that peachfuzz yer tryin to grow on yer chin, it looks I got more shower time than you got ring time"

[MillenniumMan831 0]

George the Animal Steele visits the zoo in late 1986 (Not to be confused w/ his zoo visit on SNME). He spots a turtle.

 

"RACE! . . . KING!! . . . SSLLLOOOOWWWWWW!!!"

[Special K 0]

Not funny, but awesome.

 

Onita and Terry Funk are in a exploding ring deathmatch. They respect each other. Funk is knocked out while the timer ticks down. Onita looks sadly into the ring, and at the last possible second, slides in and covers Funk to protect him. Explosion goes off. Crowd is completely silent. A fucking GUITAR SOLO plays over the intercom. The match is a draw.

 

After the match. Funk, to Onita: "I respect you, and you're a good man, but I can't let you beat me. You never beat me." He leaves the room. Onita looks on, tears falling silently from his eyes.

 

Not really a quote, (though the way Funk delivers it is awesome) more of an awesome little story.

[Epic Reine 0]

After Test beat Edge for the IC title on Raw in 2001:

 

JR: "Now that is ABSOLUTLEY RIDICULOUS! the man had his feet ALL over the ropes."

 

Is really sounded like JR was trying to tell the ref he's retarded.

[Guest Zarock]

Christian: Road Dogg and Krush, you think you're special 'cause you got that rap thing? Well guess what, we're about to KICK IT!

 

Edge: We're Edge and Christian

and we're total bliss

That's because we reek

of awe-some-ness.

 

Christian: We're E to the C

and you're in liggity-luck

we're gonna be Dogg and Krush

'cause they totally SUCK.

 

Edge: Now even though we're in Jersey...

-A state with skanky hos-

we'll still break it down

with a five second pose!

 

Also

 

Christian: On RAW you've got Batista

with muscles to spare,

but he's got charisma

like Tomko's got hair

 

You've got Triple H and Ric Flair

Their legends continue to grows (?)

26 titles between them

And the world's biggest nose

 

...

 

John Cena, you think

I'm jealous of your fortune and fame?

Well you talk like Snoop Dogg

But you look like Corey Haim

(Moves the mic to Tomko)

 

Tomko:...Diss.

 

More Christianity

 

(To John Cena)

Christian: By the way...your album SUCKS.

 

(Putting on a Jeff Jarret t-shirt)

Christian: Wow, "Don't Piss Me Off!" that's money.

[DangerousDamon 0]

Not funny, but awesome.

 

Onita and Terry Funk are in a exploding ring deathmatch. They respect each other. Funk is knocked out while the timer ticks down. Onita looks sadly into the ring, and at the last possible second, slides in and covers Funk to protect him. Explosion goes off. Crowd is completely silent. A fucking GUITAR SOLO plays over the intercom. The match is a draw.

 

After the match. Funk, to Onita: "I respect you, and you're a good man, but I can't let you beat me. You never beat me." He leaves the room. Onita looks on, tears falling silently from his eyes.

 

Not really a quote, (though the way Funk delivers it is awesome) more of an awesome little story.

 

I've got to have a clip of that. That sounds like the greatest thing ever.

[Special K 0]

It's on one of the the best tape ever: Schneider comp #6, which has that match, including post match.

 

Flair/Steamboat 2/3 falls,

Misawa/Kobashi 10/21/97

Thunderqueen match

Maeda/Fujinami

 

plus lots of other good stuff. Phenomenal tape.

/shill

[Wrestlefreak 0]

At the 1999 KOTR, Jerry Lawler called Paul Bearer a "nutritional overachiever"

 

Classic!!

[DangerousDamon 0]

During the Edge/Eddie no dq match, Eddie says something in Spanish.

 

Tazz: You know what that means? That means " I've got him in a rear chinlock."

 

Cole: How would you know, you don't even speak English!

[alfdogg 0]

This is during the Rockin' Robin/Sherri match from Paris where Robin wins the title, found Best of WWF 18

 

Heenan: That's not something a champion does, they never turn their back on their opponent!

 

Gorilla: How would you know, you've never had a champion!

 

Heenan: ...

 

He starts to say something, then just comes to a screeching halt. Gold.

 

The commentary for that whole match is terrific, in fact. They make a "wager" for dinner, and Heenan keeps saying things like "Come on Sherri, I got a double Whopper at stake!" and Gorilla says "yeah, you wish!"

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

On the old Hulk Hogan's Rockin Wrestlin' cartoon they had Roddy piper skits between commercials. One features Piper arguing with a woman's car and finally yells "start!" and it starts.

 

 

/had to see it

[MillenniumMan831 0]

This is during the Rockin' Robin/Sherri match from Paris where Robin wins the title, found Best of WWF 18

 

Heenan: That's not something a champion does, they never turn their back on their opponent!

 

Gorilla: How would you know, you've never had a champion!

 

Heenan: ...

 

He starts to say something, then just comes to a screeching halt. Gold.

 

The commentary for that whole match is terrific, in fact. They make a "wager" for dinner, and Heenan keeps saying things like "Come on Sherri, I got a double Whopper at stake!" and Gorilla says "yeah, you wish!"

 

After the match, I love how Heenan "leaves" the broadcast booth but Monsoon assures us that his security team will make sure The Brain pays up.

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

The show ending with a few very serious words from Arn Anderson. The soliloquy was delivered straight, without any change in camera angle. It was one of the best, and most serious, wrestling interviews I've ever seen.

"I asked for a little of WCW's valuable time. I never ask for anything but I called in a marker on this one. You see, something's either happened or is about to happen of unbelievable magnitude. A couple of years ago, I was in Japan wrestling and I saw a kid named Chris Benoit. And it just flew off the page. That's a Horseman. I went to WCW officials. I played a very big part in getting Chris Benoit here. And he's exceeded all of our expectations. And I told him, the first rule is, Chris, anything you want in this sport, the road doesn't rise up to meet any man. You've got to reach out there and take it. But, you see there's an unwritten rule, also. A cardinal rule. It doesn't just apply to wrestling or sports. It applies to every, every, every aspect of a man's life. Number one, you take care of your family. Rule number two, you don't mess around in another man's family. You see, I know now that you're in Germany. We can't find Woman. We deduce whatever we will. The fact of the matter is, Chris, there's going to come a time, and it's not that far down the road. You see, I've got more age and years. I've got more age in the business, in this great sport. And age denotes wisdom. There's going to come a time in my life and in your life when there's no more cameras. No more TV lights. No more people running up to you at the mall saying, "Can I have your autograph?" And whether you walk away from this great sport, or whether you limp away, or whether they roll you away in a wheelchair, the one constant will always be in your life, is your family. They're there. They pat you up when you're hurt. They prop you up. They build your ego up. And they send you back out that door. Well, Chris, I'm just going to ask you one time. Is this obsession with destroying every aspect of Kevin Sullivan's life worth losing your soul? Well, is it?"