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Damaramu

The dorkiest sports personalities.....

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Even though he retired, John Stockton seemed like a pale ass dork w/ no personality. He plays basketball, tried his damndest to look pissed, and looks like he goes home and reads the Goosebump books.

Okay let's get one thing straight here. You don't FUCK with John Stockton. John Stockton is the coolest basketball player ever because

 

1) He had the balls to wear short shorts

2) He defied the aging process like some only wish they could

3) He went to Gonzaga

4) He gave short white kids hope in an era of the NBA dominated by tall black guys

5)He didn't fuck around with agents, and just directly negotiated with management instead. Now THAT's cool.

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Even though he retired, John Stockton seemed like a pale ass dork w/ no personality.  He plays basketball, tried his damndest to look pissed, and looks like he goes home and reads the Goosebump books.

Okay let's get one thing straight here. You don't FUCK with John Stockton. John Stockton is the coolest basketball player ever because

 

1) He had the balls to wear short shorts

2) He defied the aging process like some only wish they could

3) He went to Gonzaga

4) He gave short white kids hope in an era of the NBA dominated by tall black guys

5)He didn't fuck around with agents, and just directly negotiated with management instead. Now THAT's cool.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

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Guest The Shadow Behind You

You'd really need a pic with the corn rows to hammer the point and he looks like the kid from Linkin Park.

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How about Barry Melrose and his pseudo-mullet?

I think you need to respect the mullet.

 

Speaking of hockey commentators though, I nominate Don Cherry.

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Guest Vitamin X
Brandon Arroyo looks like a kid that asked me for bus money at the mall yesterday. This kid had a "C:\DOS - C:\DOS\RUN - RUN\DOS\RUN" shirt on.

 

Anyway, Brandon looks like a dweeb.

 

2755_sm.jpg

Hey, it's Raab Himself!

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Even though he retired, John Stockton seemed like a pale ass dork w/ no personality.  He plays basketball, tried his damndest to look pissed, and looks like he goes home and reads the Goosebump books.

Okay let's get one thing straight here. You don't FUCK with John Stockton. John Stockton is the coolest basketball player ever because

 

1) He had the balls to wear short shorts

2) He defied the aging process like some only wish they could

3) He went to Gonzaga

4) He gave short white kids hope in an era of the NBA dominated by tall black guys

5)He didn't fuck around with agents, and just directly negotiated with management instead. Now THAT's cool.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

So he's a cheap, white dork who looks perplexed all the time.

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Guest Mindless_Aggression

John Clayton has got to be up there. Everytime I see him, I immediately imagine that he must have played C3PO at some point in one of the Star Wars films.

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Guest The Shadow Behind You

Greg Maddux.

 

always looked like the Accountant who plays with Model Trains at home in his underwear listening to Rush.

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Guest The Shadow Behind You

Reggie Miller.

 

I mean c'mon he admits to getting his ass kicked by his sister.

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He's not dumb. He just lacks personality.

 

Oh and I hate coddling the team and all, but I'm not going to call a 300-game winner who pretty much saved our ass for a few months of the season a retard.

Not having a personality's one thing; looking like you've got trouble putting basic sentences together quickly is another.

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Guest Mindless_Aggression

Shawn Bradley making a jump shot and Walton immediately responding with "Wilt's record is officially in danger" is one of his and Bradley's finest moments.

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Shyness, what's that.

 

 

P.S.: I ph34r Greg Maddux with a personality. We'd get lines like

 

"they call me a shampoo store cuz I got so much finesse"

"they call me the GM cuz I'm callin all the shots from my office, and my office is the mound"

"G-Money"

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Guest The Shadow Behind You

I'd love to see Maddux spend 20 minutes with 50 Cent.

 

That has train wreck written all over it.

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I'd also after Saturday's Heisman proceedings like to throw Billy Simms on that list as a huge dork. I mean as soon as they announce the canidates he starts throwing out "Boomer!" only with him it's not Boomer it's "Boomah!" and then as soon as they announce Leinart he says "I guess I can't say

Let me hijack and say Billy Simms was a terrific back for Detroit, and if not for a career ending knee injury in the MetroDome, Detroit probably doesn't draft Barry Sanders.

 

Also of note. Simms, Sanders, and I think Lem Barney were all interviewed on the sidelines has the "Roaring Twenties" since all had the number 20. Simms was decked out in the 20's college fur coat.

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Daunte Culpepper for wearing a fur coat.

 

Kelly Campell is just very strange. Doing dances earlier in the year even when he doesn't score.

 

Corey Chavous watches video tape of college football players in is spare time.

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Guest Mosaicv2
My team's best player is the biggest dork in the NFL

 

strahan.jpg

This man will always be #1 on my list

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