Smackdown spoilers for 12/16/04

[JoeDirt 0]

Nashville, TN December 14th, Smackdown

By: Crispy, rajah.com reader

 

Dark-

Nunzio Vs. Chad Collier, with a short victory going to Nunzio

 

Velocity-

 

Paul London Vs. Shannon Moore

This was a good back and forth match but I missed the last half due to Security telling me to put away my still camera because it says the word video on it. London ends up with the victory and good sportsmanship was shared by both competitors.

 

Sinn/Tony Cilanto Vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

Sinn and Cilantro came into no music at all, and after the macth began there were numerous, and quite loud, Hardcore chants. Needless to say Hardcore/Haas dominated with Hardcore winning with an Alabama Slam!

 

Smackdown!

 

Tazz and Cole come out, and the ring begins to get decorated for tonight’s show. Orlando comes in, the ring is set, and we are ready for tonight’s Smackdown!

 

The intro/pyro rolls and Orlando, in the middle of a ring decorated in red, white, and blue banners, ask us to welcome the WWE Champion, John Bradshaw Layfield! The limo pulls up with JBL and Amy riding on top if it like a bull, with the Bashams dressed as Secret Service closely in tow. As the confetti and balloons rain, JBL makes his way to the ring. He then proceeds to tell us how tonight is the return of a heo, and tonight will be a moment that you will never forget! All great things come in 3’s, FDR, Regan, and JBL for examples. He also fought three of the best superstars at Armageddon, Booker T, Eddie Guerrero, and The Undertaker, and he beat them all to retain the title once more. That his was the greatest title victory and he is the greatest champion of all time, despite having a GM more biast and corrupt and fans that refuse to chant his name. Thus starts a massive “You Suck!” chant. He then screams at the audience to chant his name! Chant my name!

All of a sudden, Kurt Angle’s music rolls and in walks Angle with Reigns and Jindrak in tow. They go right for the ring and Kurt goes nose to nose with JBL. Bradshaw tells him that he is interuppting his party, and that unless he is here to congratulate him, he better get out! Angle then asks what was that about JBL being the greatest champion, sorry, but no. I am! Do you remember Armageddon, 2000? Angle beat 5 men, The Rock, Stone Cold, Rikishi, Triple H, and The Undertaker in a 6-Man Hell in a Cell match for the Title. And besides, I invented the over the top championship celebration, BUCKO! (Yes, Angle called JBL Bucko, and he never lets it drop. It is a riot! Numerous Bucko chants during this segment)

Bradshaw states that wasn’t that four years ago? My, how the mighty have fallen! Angle then calls out John BUCKO Layfield and challenges him to a title match tonight, for the WWE Championship. JBL says that would be a great match, and it’s an excellent idea, but no. He is going to take time off for the holidays and it just isn’t going to happen!

In walks the Smackdown GM, Teddy Mac. Teddy tells JBL that you don’t control when you take time off, I do. You don’t make matches, I do. Let me ask the audience if they would like to see this match. JBL then states that the audience shouldn’t be asked but his pleas are not heard as Teddy as an informal poll. Needless to say, resounding cheers fill the arena. Tonight, says Teddy, it will be JBL Vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship. Ho, ho ho JBL, or should I say, Holla…Holla, Holla and with that Teddy leaves the ring, followed by everyone else during the break.

During the break a video package rolls for the new Diva video, South of the Border.

 

Akio/Kidman Vs. RVD/Rey Mysterio (Non-title match)

Back in the ring, Akio and Kidman have made their way to the ring to face RVD and Rey for a non title tag team match. Kidman and Rey start it off but soon it is Akio and Rey, and Akio is in the ropes set up for a 619. (It being Nashville, I was prepared for 615 chants, our area code, but yet I heard none, sadly.) Akio tries to retort but ends up kicking Kidman out of the ring. Soon it is RVD and Kidman in the ring, and RVD hits the Rolling Thunder, but to no avail. Postions change and Kidman ends up dragging RVD to the corner for the Moonsault, but he misses. RVD then drags Kidman to the center of the ring and connects with a five star for the 3 count.

Winners - RVD and Mysterio

 

Don’t forget, tonight we crown the next Tough Enough Champion and later on tonight JBL defends his title against Kurt Angle. Another Blade commercial runs and we are shortly joined by Torrie Wilson in an Uncle Sam outfit. She says that she is proud to wear these colors, and then talks about the troops in Iraq and how great it was to go. She reminds us that next week is the Annual Christmans in Baghdad Smackdown! and then leaves the ring.

 

Right after that, Heidenreich comes from the audience, behind Cole and Tazz, and Cole flips out and heads to the entrance, looking nervous. Heidenreich grabs a chair and sits in the middle of the ring, and we are graced with more poetry by Heidenreich. The poem is anti-Taker and this gets a solid Taker chant going. Finally it ends and he leaves…but never soon enough.

Eddie and Booker T are shown in the back saying that even though they were fighting at the pay per view, they were on the same page, and get along great. Some random TNA comes in and they ogle it. The conversation leads into a tease fight between them until Booker cracks up and begins to laugh saying that he loves to push Eddie’s buttons, it’s so easy. Now, let’s go kick some ass!

There was some words spoken about the Cena match from the PPV but we never heard them, so I have no clue why the image was shown. Also, don’t forget that next week is the Best of RAW 2004! After that, the Royal Rumble commercial airs. Being and actor, this is the best commercial, and the funniest that I have ever seen!

We come back to Orlando at the GM’s door, but another girl is there saying that Mr. Long is meditating and cannot be interuppted. Orlando walks away angry and runs into Reigns. Luther is laughing at Orlando trying to get JBL out of the match and the two begin to get into swapping ways their champion is better than the other, until Orlando states that JBL provides healthcare. Luther get seriously interested but quickly throws it away and they get angry a little more before they depart.

 

Kenzo/Dupree vs. Booker T/Eddie

Eddie enters to the largest pop of the night. This was a pretty solid match but I got into the match and forgot to take notes. The heels never really dominanted and the crowd seemed very into the match. Booker gets the Book End on Kenzo and starts to feel it. He hits the spinarooni, as Hiroko sneaks in the ring behind Booker with a Kendo stick. She makes to hit him with it just before Booker turns around and scares her out of the ring. Eddie is the actual legal man and hits the frog splash, sealing the victory.

Winners - Booker T/Eddie

 

Orlando walks into JBL’s dressing room telling him the match is still going on. JBL gets angry when he thinks no one has confidence in him. Amy then tells him that it is ok, that he will be champion and get to go overseas next week. JBL gets nervous saying that it is a war zone, but Amy says the whoever the champion is has to go and represent WWE. Then Carlito shows up, with a proposition for JBL. They both have a problem, Teddy. Long is always on both their backs, so after your match tonight, let’s talk. Sounds like a plan, says JBL. Carlito takes a big bite out of his apple and the Cabinet gets nervous. Mr. Cool just smiles and walks away.

 

The WWE Slam of the week is Funaki beating Spike for the Cruiserweight Belt at Armageddon. Tazz and Cole get some screentime here I think, and then a ThemeAddict comercial airs. Some footage from the new Smackdown Vs. Raw game shows us what the JBL/Angle match could be like.

 

WHAT DOES EVERYBODY WANT?! Time for to crown the next Tough Enough Champion. Al Snow is in the ring and invites Mike Mizanin and Daniel Puder to the ring where the trophy is. This took no time at all, and Al Snow crowns Puder as the next champion. He also asks him how would he like a chance to headline Wrestlemania? Puder has been entered into the 30 Man Royal Rumble in January. Both guys were very good sports about it all, but Mizanin says that this is where he wants to be now, and will find a way!

 

Angle is shown in the locker room as Reigns comes in. Angle begins to bash on all pro-sports for awhile and Reigns tells Angle not to worry, that he and Jindrak will be there to take on the cabinet. He then complains about his back to Jindrak and Angle asks him what he is talking about. It’s nothing says Luther…Well..Orlando gets health care from JBL….Angle gets furious, forget health care! I’ve got a match, next!

 

ECW commericial, and Teddy makes his way to Tazz and Cole to comment on the match. The older Iraq commercial is shown and we come back to two local 101st Airborne members and we are shown that the Air Force Commander is in attendance. Man, that explains the beef in security in the house. Some new Diva makes her way down to the ring in a Mrs. Santa outfit, passing out candy canes before we start our main event.

 

JBL Vs. Kurt Angle for the WWE Championship

Kurt and crew make their way to the ring first. Then JBL comes out with the Cabinet, and as he begins to enter the ring, the Diva offers JBL a candy cane, and Amy gets furious. Could it be? Are we that lucky? YES! Catfight! This ends with each girl getting held back until Amy decides to rip the Diva’s top off, and the favor is returned. Finally Teddy Mac has had enough and throws everyone out but the two competitors. Finally our match gets under way as Angel is chewing on JBL’s hat. More Bucko chants fill the air, as well as numerous Let’s Go Angle chants! They go back and forth for awhile, ankle lock here and there, until after awhile Orlando Jordon comes running into the ring while Angle has JBL in an ankle lock, but he misses and flies out the ring. The Bashams show up followed by Jindrak and Reigns. While the ref is distracted, our course JBL is tapping. Orlando gets back in the ring and JBL gets DQ’ed. Angle wins, but no title. WELLLLLL!!!!!! Big Show’s msuic hits and he makes his way to the ring. A choke slam for Jindrak, as well as one for Reigns. A dual choke slam for the Bashams, and Show picks up Orlando and takes him out with a F-5. JBL has snuck his way up the ramp as Show signals from the ring that he is coming for the belt! I am pretty sure this is where the cameras end.

Winner - Angle by DQ

 

And here is the recap of the Casket Match:

Chimmel tells us that Long has ordered OJ and JBL to face Taker in a handicapped casket match, right now. JBL comes out, whines while they set up the casket, until Taker’s music hits. Taker makes his slow way into the ring, and JBL is there with his face in his hands. JBL and OJ want to run but they come back and peak in the casket, and in doing so decides to get back in the ring. Swings are swapped and eventually JBL quickly ends up in the casket, but no lid has been closed because OJ shows up just in time. Taker now has JBL in the casket acting a fool, and is beating OJ down into a corner. JBL gets out and together they team up on Taker in the corner. They try to get him in the casket but can’t! OJ ends up in the casket while Taker and JBL duke it out in the ring. JBL low blows Taker, as Taker falls out of the ring. They team up on Taker using the stairs, but a missed stair shot turns the tables. Taker is back in control and beats OJ into the top of the casket, and throws JBL’s face into the lid as well. JBL gets back up and regains control as they lead Taker near the ramp and begins to choke Taker with some cable. Taker lowblows JBL and tossed OJ into the casket, but too hard and OJ flies through, out the other side. JBL outmaneuvers Taker and grabs a steel chair but not in time as he gets a facefull of Taker’s boot. Taker tosses JBL, then OJ into the ring. He performs a little oldschool on JBL. Then OJ begins to wail on Taker some more as JBL opens the casket. This ends with OJ falling over JBL and into the casket. Taker gets a chokeslam in on JBL, and closes the lid on OJ. The crowd calls for a tombstone, and Taker gives one as requested to JBL and throws him inside with OJ. The casket is rolled out with both men inside and Taker makes his way to the back, sucking up the crowd response.

Winner - The Undertaker

 

The arena was almost completely full. It was awesome to see that many people in the there. The crowd got into everythign and rarely was silent. For the record, Tony Chimmel is one of the funniest people I’ve seen. The guy is a riot! Overall it wasn’t a bad final show of the year, but there was no Cena, as I assume he was off filming his movie still. There was no acknowledgement of Funaki other than the Slam of the Week. And only a few matches. Not many complaints really. This is my 6th show in Nashville, and the only one better I have been to was Judgment Day a few years back. Hope the show translates to tv well, because we all had a great time!

[strummer 0]

man, that is a hell of a lot of talking for a 2 hour show. Obviously it's Show v JBL at RR where there will be a non-finish and then JBL goes over Show in the barbed wire match at No Way Out in February. So now either Cena or Orton wins the Rumble, I still bet Randy.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Sounds good!

[strummer 0]

oh and it's nice to see they followed up on Haas' angle and heel turn by, ahhh, not mentioning it at all and having him tag with Bob Holly in a worthless tag match on Velocity. Haas can't get a break.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

...Velocity looks...thin.

[edotherocket 0]

Are PPVs and the actual shows written by different people now? They rarely seem to have any sort of cohesion. No follow through for Haas or Funaki.

 

It reminds me of when Flair shook Orton's hand at the PPV and there was no mention or follow up the next week on RAW.

[Art Sandusky 0]

See, Carlito's so cool that people fear him when he CHEWS FRUIT!

[Guest LooneyTune]

The person probably fucked up on the Velocity results. 2 Matches, and 1 is a squash? Yeah...

[Dark Age 0]

I entered this thread with high hopes after reading 'hope these are real'. I really thought Angle would win the title. Oh well, SD is dead to me now. Damn you JBL!

 

BTW, could they be setting up Eddie vs Booker for Mania? I'd love to see that match but it's not going to be enough to make me buy THAT (supposed) card. And how weak is it that they're either going to turn Booker AGAIN, or turn the very over Eddie?

 

WHY IS LONDON STILL ON VELOCITY?

[Guest LooneyTune]

I'd rather have him having ***+ matches and winning on Velocity than losing 1:00 DUD squashes on Smackdown to Heidensuck, Kenzo Sushi, and Rene "Hardcore Who?" Dupree.

[Dark Age 0]

I guess so. OK, better question:

 

WHY ISN'T PAUL LONDON VS AKIO ON SMACKDOWN?

[Guest LooneyTune]

That's a good question... probably because those 7 minutes take away from one of JBL's or Angle's long winded promos.

[SamoaRowe 0]

Wow, Smackdown looks really good this week. I wish Smackdown would be more consistent.

[Guest Deviant]

Better question: "Teddy Mac"?!? The hell?

 

This SD sounds worse than usual. Hopefully the cruiser tag got a little time. Other than that, I'm interested to see if Kurt Angle can make Bradshaw actually look like a champion in the ring. It probably didn't go long enough before the run ins to get that much, though...

 

*sigh* Another shitty Smackdown. THIS is why I read the spoilers. Why would I want to go to the effort of holding out for that?

[Art Sandusky 0]

I guess so. OK, better question:

 

WHY ISN'T PAUL LONDON VS AKIO ON SMACKDOWN?

Because they lack anything resembling a compelling character, and people the size and build of yourself or people whom you pass by on the street aren't as interesting to watch, no matter how much they leap around.

[Precious Roy 0]

I'll definitely tune in for Angle v. Bradshaw just to see what Angle can do with him, but from 8pm to 9:45-50pm I'll be watching the NBA

[BHK 0]

WHERE'S FUNAKI?!?!

[slimm44 0]

Yeah the sub-title defintiely had me thinking Angle would win the title. I would have been mad if it happened as I am from Nashville and wasn't there to see it

[Dark Age 0]

I guess so. OK, better question:

 

WHY ISN'T PAUL LONDON VS AKIO ON SMACKDOWN?

Because they lack anything resembling a compelling character, and people the size and build of yourself or people whom you pass by on the street aren't as interesting to watch, no matter how much they leap around.

I guess I just imagined the heat for their Velocity match. Or the heat for Kidman vs London at NoMercy. Or the pop when London and Kidman won the tag titles. Or the fact that London and Kidman were getting over without any characters.

 

 

Boy, we got to go here again, don't we? The whole 'no one cares about cruiserweights' argument. If that is the case, why do people care about Hurricane, Rey, Tajiri?

 

I'll answer for you. They have characters, right?

 

Not really. Tajiri and Helms are two in the crowd. Yet they are (or in Helms' case, can be) over. Rey doesn't exactly have the most develoed character in the world either. So why are they over? They don't have great characters, yet people actually care about them. Could it be, especially in the case of Rey, that people are won over by his ability? No doubt, the mask helps. But, send him out there (on his debut) without, have him wrestle the same match, and he'll be over.

 

How about the fact that Spanky was really over despite being a jobber?

 

So, JBL is more interesting than these guys? If that's the case, why would I tune in to SmackDown if Paul London vs Akio was on, you don't give one shit about JBL? Maybe I'm a typical smark who cares only about anyone under 220lbs and does a million flips, or maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that London + Akio = entertainment, while Bradshaw vs Undertaker = complete and utter crap.

 

But hey, I'm just a typical smark. Bring on more JBL! He's good and stuff now, you know?

[Mole 0]

TE is over, so no more SD for me.

[Guest Fook_Theta]

Some random TNA comes in and they ogle it.

It took me a minute to realize you meant Tits and Ass, instead of some TNA guy. Woosh, had me scared for a minute.

 

London on Velocity is a travesty as usual. Tag-match-mania is the signs of bad booking.

[AndrewTS 0]

Looks like mostly

 

[Guest Phenom]

Quick thoughts:

 

Angle face turn: Markoutable.

 

The Miz, it seems, is going to screw Puder sometime.

 

Triple C is the Secritary of Coolness.

 

Needs more Funaki.

 

That's all.

[NoCalMike 0]

I can't stress how unappealing JBL vs. UT being the headlining feud is to me.

[Art Sandusky 0]

I guess so. OK, better question:

 

WHY ISN'T PAUL LONDON VS AKIO ON SMACKDOWN?

Because they lack anything resembling a compelling character, and people the size and build of yourself or people whom you pass by on the street aren't as interesting to watch, no matter how much they leap around.

I guess I just imagined the heat for their Velocity match. Or the heat for Kidman vs London at NoMercy. Or the pop when London and Kidman won the tag titles. Or the fact that London and Kidman were getting over without any characters.

 

 

Boy, we got to go here again, don't we? The whole 'no one cares about cruiserweights' argument. If that is the case, why do people care about Hurricane, Rey, Tajiri?

 

I'll answer for you. They have characters, right?

 

Not really. Tajiri and Helms are two in the crowd. Yet they are (or in Helms' case, can be) over. Rey doesn't exactly have the most develoed character in the world either. So why are they over? They don't have great characters, yet people actually care about them. Could it be, especially in the case of Rey, that people are won over by his ability? No doubt, the mask helps. But, send him out there (on his debut) without, have him wrestle the same match, and he'll be over.

 

How about the fact that Spanky was really over despite being a jobber?

 

So, JBL is more interesting than these guys? If that's the case, why would I tune in to SmackDown if Paul London vs Akio was on, you don't give one shit about JBL? Maybe I'm a typical smark who cares only about anyone under 220lbs and does a million flips, or maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that London + Akio = entertainment, while Bradshaw vs Undertaker = complete and utter crap.

 

But hey, I'm just a typical smark. Bring on more JBL! He's good and stuff now, you know?

You meant to be sarcastic, but you were spot-on with everything. Good job. Catering to a niche market is not the way to become successful in the grand scheme.

 

Rey is successful because he's one of the few that people already knew when he came in thanks to WCW. They also gave him a completely unique entrance, good theme music, and he's currently with one of the perpetually over people in the company. And yes, the mask and simple "619" are marketing boons.

 

Tajiri spits green shit and kicks off peoples' heads. He also benefitted from ECW notoriety and being stuck in the high-profile position of being the WWF Commissioner's assistant for months as well.

 

Spanky wasn't given as many opportunities as these two, but damned if he didn't have such a clear personality in everything he did. Unlike many of the cruisers, he had a special charisma about him, and it would only help that he was a fresh-faced, rather handsome guy as well. You remember guys like that, even if they don't get a second of interview time. Shit, your average fan probably still remembers him streaking and being the dude who was dancing on the bar at the APA Invitational last year at Vengeance. Little quirks that make a wrestler more individual will go a long way.

 

As for the London/Kidman team, they were certainly getting over by the week. That's absolutely without debate. They defeated a team perceived as stale much to the fans' delight and enjoyed a month or so of #1 show exposure before they were inexplicably broken up and sent back to #2 show purgatory faster than you can say "Kidman is the most boring human on the planet."

 

So part of the problem is exposure. Don't give them a chance to show what they can do to entertain you, the sports-entertainment fan, and they'll never get over. However, these people that have been given chances for the most part can't really convince the audience that they're interesting people. Great matches, but immemorable people involved in them. I give these guys a fair chance to give me a reason to care that isn't made up of all sorts of aerial derring-do, and they don't do it. An air of interchangeability is bred, and so they stay on Velocity, where they can show some skills but no one will notice if they're gone.

 

At least I care if JBL retains or loses the title, or if Undertaker gets his hands on the psychotic poetry-writer. Shit, I'm given more reason to care about the friggin' Bashams week-in and week-out. The people who cry for more cruiser exposure are a small percentage of the fanbase, and you'll never make money (since people keep forgetting the objective is to make money, not to put on mat classics, although those can help make money) catering to a fraction of the fanbase. It's the same reason working the dirtsheets is retarded. Devoting time and resources to something that will yield little return even at its most successful isn't worth the effort.

[CanadianChick 0]

Yeah, what's with no Funaki and Haas on Smackdown? I can see why someone like London isn't on Smackdown since he has no angle to follow up on, but both Haas and Funaki do.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

But nobody's calling for the cruisers to completely take over the ME scene. I think everyone would be pretty happy seeing them be a consistant part of the midcard, where they can put on entertaining matches and keep the crowd into the show. The midcard isn't expected to draw (that's the job of the guys on top), so you're not really sacrificing anything by putting them on the show, and they just might end up stumbling across the next HBK (hey, who thought scrawny Midnight Rocker Shawn Michaels would end up being 1 of the biggest names in the sport?).

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

They are really missing the boat on Funaki. Maybe it's just me, but I really think he could be a big hit with the younger fans. He's small enough that the young fans can better relate to him because he looks about their size. He's almost childlike, in that he seems completely uncomplicated, and, again, something they can relate to. Add to that the loveable underdog vibe that he exudes in spades, and you've got someone that I think really could be a hit with the younger fans.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

To say anyone in the WWE has a compelling character is silly. Regal has been the only one in YEARS to have come close to being a compelling character and got thrown off to the side and that character quirk has been forgotten. They're all 1 dimensional with little-to-no depth, so to condemn Akio or London for being weak in that area doesn't hold much water.

 

Fact is, on Velocity a few weeks ago they offered something different - at least, by current WWE standards it was different - and it broke up the monotony that is the WWE style. Smackdown needs some variety, and the "shitty wrestling, shitty interview, shitty diva segment" isn't exactly what I'm looking for in terms of 'spicing it up'. WCW, for all of its faults, during their peak, was able to provide this, and the cruiserweight division -with its characterless wrestlers- were a part of that success, so "niche market" isn't accurate (besides, a niche marketing would have the total market offering being geared towards one market, no one is saying make the WWE ROH, at least they aren't here).

 

There is a demand from the general audience for some change, that was made clear by RAW doing 3.9's for all the weeks with the individual wrestler hosting the show - it offered something that was different from the norm. Akio and London brought that, and it got a good response. The greater problem here is that the WWE restricts their wrestlers from performing to the best of their abilities; Akio/London was the only time I ever got the feeling that two wrestlers were actually TRYING to have an exciting match, rather than going through the motions, and that lack of effort, that lack of passion, that lack of determination and pride, is what doesn't get ME into it.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

The two times the WWE pushed Funaki (INDEED and #1 Announcer) he got over. Both times they cut it short. Funaki is a likable guy, and they have very few likable guys on the roster. They should have built his title win up for a few weeks rather than hotshotting it to him. A few put downs by JBL, Angle, Heyman, and of course Spike, would have gone a long way in getting him some sympathy. Eugene got over huge in part because of the Coach ragging on him so effectively.

 

RRR: Started an Arena-wide "Support Clap" for Funaki.