A 94 year old woman in my state wins lottery

[Guest Failed Mascot]

What.the.fuck.

 

She was so decrepid that she couldn't even hold the giant check up on her own. There outta be a law against really old people winning the lottery.

 

This is terrible. She has no use for $5mill.

[Murmuring Beast 0]

She could get a nice coffin.

[Bruiser Chong 0]

Incredibly old people always win shit like this. I remember last New Year's Eve there was a contest to win a Hummer at this casino some friends and I went to, and some old bitch with an oxygen tank won it. The reaction from all the men in the place was classic, though.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

What's her address? You should love her up, get a quickie marriage, then sit back & wait for the inheritance.

[Sideburnious 0]

Turn up pretending to be her grandson of a baby she gave up for adoption 40 years ago and your looking for some money for support etc. She might be senile enough/actually have given away a baby to give you a share of the money. Shit, she might even put you on the will.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Tell her that winning the lottery disqualifies her from Social Security.

[Nevermortal 0]

I read an article about her this week. She wants the payment in one lump sum as opposed to the staggered payments over the years because she knows that she won't be living much longer.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Makes sense, though now she'd have to leave the winnings to a surely bumbling and scheming family who'll be doing anything to get their name in the will. Oh the comedy!

[The Czech Republic 0]

I smell a sitcom.

[Ced 0]

See, this is why you should always respect your elders: so you don't expose yourself as a money grubbing asshole after they win the lottery.

[Guest ShootingStylesPress]

How much do you want to bet that the kids that abandoned her twenty years ago are now with her at all times to make sure she's "comfortable".

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Incredibly old people always win shit like this.

Because they're the ones who always play. Trust me on this one...

[Guest TheLastBoyscout]

What.the.fuck.

 

She was so decrepid that she couldn't even hold the giant check up on her own. There outta be a law against really old people winning the lottery.

 

This is terrible. She has no use for $5mill.

Stop whining you fucking whiner.