Jury Duty

[Mole 0]

It is 7:42 and I have to go to jury duty in 15 minutes.

 

This sucks.

[Nighthawk 0]

Pauly Shore reference.

[Mole 0]

Well I don't have to be there until 9, so I can leave at 8:30.

[sfaJack 0]

Make sure you convict.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Pauly Shore reference.

I'd be satisfied with a Jury Duty 2 with mole making his acting debut.

[Guest Smues]

I've always wanted to get jury duty. I'm sure after I have it once I'll regret that, but I look forward to serving on a jury sometime. Wanna see what it's like in the court room, but not from the defendant's chair.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I've always wanted to get jury duty. I'm sure after I have it once I'll regret that, but I look forward to serving on a jury sometime. Wanna see what it's like in the court room, but not from the defendant's chair.

...that joke fell flat.

[Guest Smues]

Perhaps because there was no joke.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Perhaps because there was no joke.

..i pity you

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Unless it's a case where you could make some money writing a book about it afterward, steer clear of jury duty...

[Mole 0]

Well that was a waste of my time.

 

I sat there for 2 hours then got called upstairs for a criminal case. We walked into the court room and told us a bunch of bullshit about being a juror. They then read off the charges against the guy, half of them I don't remember, but there were six of them.

 

1. Stealing

2. Resisting arrest.

3. Shooting a police dog.

 

I'm thinking guilty right away, so maybe that will help me get out of it.

 

So they put us back in a tiny room and call us one-by-one (since Connecticut is the only state that allows individual interviews). They call me in 4th, I believe, and I head back into the court room.

 

They ask me a bunch of questions, I answer honestly, and they let me leave for a second. They call me back in and tell me I've been dismissed.

 

Waste of time.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Welcome to the American legal system!

[Ted the Poster 0]

Now Agent, just because you break the law on a semi-regular basis...

 

 

Come to think of it, people who watch MTV and/or VH1 shouldn't be allowed on juries anyway.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Lucky Bastard. I was picked and wasted several days of my life sitting there watching some bearded hippie try to get his way out of a drunk-driving charge by saying his religion forbids him to take pictures of himself, or something like that...

[Ted the Poster 0]

At least you got something to laugh about later. All I got was a $60 conveniece store "robbery". Fuck, I was at least hoping the guy had initially gone in for diapers...

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

I'm lucky enough to have never been called (yet).

[Mole 0]

Come to think of it, people who watch MTV and/or VH1 shouldn't be allowed on juries anyway.

Damn pop-culture.

[Eclipse 0]

So far, I haven't been called to jury duty. My mom got called once, but...it's like...she knows english, but she has a somewhat heavy accent, since we are Puerto Rican. My mom told me she would be able to do this, but bullshitted them, telling them she didn't understand it enough, so they dismissed her because of that. Easy way out....

[Ted the Poster 0]

Come to think of it, people who watch MTV and/or VH1 shouldn't be allowed on juries anyway.

Damn pop-culture.

Not really. Just those two channels. I mean, look what it breeds:

 

[Ace309 0]

When they call your name, instead of "Here" or "Present," shout "Guilty!"

 

At worst, you're excused. If you're lucky, they'll say you poisoned the whole pool and let everyone go home.

[Mole 0]

Come to think of it, people who watch MTV and/or VH1 shouldn't be allowed on juries anyway.

Damn pop-culture.

Not really. Just those two channels. I mean, look what it breeds:

 

No, that is Buffy's fault.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

would anyone feel comfortable with molestomp being in charge of their potential freedom or incarceration?

[Ted the Poster 0]

No, and he should be kept away from gerbil-sized animals as well.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

No, and he should be kept away from gerbil-sized animals as well.

*crinkle crinkle*

[Mole 0]

would anyone feel comfortable with molestomp being in charge of their potential freedom or incarceration?

You know, I think Cancer is Banky. Or Banky is Cancer.

 

She was the only one to call me molestomp.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Banky himself isn't Cancer, but he has long been considered a contributing factor.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Banky's not a Cancer, he was born in November

[Nighthawk 0]

would anyone feel comfortable with molestomp being in charge of their potential freedom or incarceration?

You know, I think Cancer is Banky. Or Banky is Cancer.

 

She was the only one to call me molestomp.

Didn't you call yourself that?

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

My case involved a black guy stealing an $80 power drill and then having the nerve to come back to the same hardware store 2 hours later with his 8 year old brother so the kid could bounce in the moon bounce out in the parking lot.

 

The defense's case was the worst in the history..rivaling the Chewbacca defense in terms of stupidity.

 

The only witness to see the man as he was leaving the first time without a hat on was an elderly white woman. All the employees were only able to give a facial description, which matched the man perfectly. But the old woman described the mans outfit to the letter, except for the fact that she said he had dreadlocks when he really had cornrows. The defense tried to have us believe that the guy basically had a twin walking around dressed just like their client except he had dreadlocks. The question of whether or not the defendant had a twin was asked and he said "i gots a brother" and then he pointed to the 8 year old boy he had with him, not exactly answering the question, but it was pretty much dropped there.

 

We found him guilty in about 5 minutes (kinda disapointed..I've always wanted to do one of those long drawn out deliberations like on TV).

I read in the paper that the guy got community service...

 

What I fail to understand is why the County needed to pay 12 jurors $15 ($180) to find the guy guilty of stealing an $80 drill only to sentence him to community service.

[the max 0]

I want to get called to jury duty for two reasons:

 

1- I get paid to be a juror by the system.

2- I get doubletime from work (almost 25 dollars an hour) for an eight hour shift on a day of jury duty.