Why Do Men Have To Take Massive Shits In Public?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Because people are assholes. I wish someone would walk in on one of these fuckwads while they are in mid-squat. Of course, the spineless managers that frequent these stores would do nothing...

[The Metal Maniac 0]

WHY does someone take a shit on the floor?

 

I dunno, but I'll go you one better.

 

I once had to clean a shit pentagram off the floor.

 

Yeah. Someone not only shit on the floor, but they used the shit to draw a fucking shit pentagram.

[Crimson Platypus 0]

WHY does someone take a shit on the floor?

When my buddy and I used to work at Meijer (supermarket) we would go in at like 3 in the morning in a drug induced haze and shit on the floor of the restroom all the time. Why? Because listening to the high schoolers tell us the story about having to clean up the corn riddled shit from the floor of the bathrooms would drive us to tears.

 

 

 

Well it was funny at the time.

[CBright7831 0]

If I can avoid public poops I do, but when I have to drop a load I always try to be discreet about it because I hate it when someone is grunting and groaning in a stall...

I will second this.

 

Anyway, the other day, the manager told me to go clean the restrooms. I walk in to look around a there's a guy in the stall. So I'm like "Okay, I'll take out the trash bag first. I take the bag, walk to the back, open up the gat door, throw it in the dumpster, close the gate, come back, and he's still there. So I go clean the mirror next. I get some cleaning stuff, spray the mirror, walk out to go get some towels, walk a very long distance, come back, and the guy is still there. I clean the mirrors off, and the man is still there. By the time he left I had a look on my face.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

Because people are assholes. I wish someone would walk in on one of these fuckwads while they are in mid-squat. Of course, the spineless managers that frequent these stores would do nothing...

Speaking of catching someone...I'd LOVE to catch someone in the act of fucking with my car, like stealing the stereo or whatever.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Man, fuck your car. That's hilarious. Look out for Vincent Vega, folks.

[LessonInMachismo 0]

Man, fuck your car. That's hilarious. Look out for Vincent Vega, folks.

I've had cars stolen, broken in to, the whole nine yards. It is a fantasy I have to come out from the store, find the little thief running his grubby hands all over my stuff and then loudly clear my throat. If he pursues flight, I give chase, and tackle him down with the momentum of 270lbs times the velocity of the my sprint. If he decides to fight, I assume my Narn fighting stance and proceed to break a few bones.

[the max 0]

You could call it giving him a "Lesson in Machismo"

 

 

...

[Guest PlatinumBoy]

"Who... who's dropping bombs in there?"

[Red Baron 0]

We used to have this guest at Wendy's called "Code Brown"

 

The Code Brown lady always made a mess in the stalls, leaving shit on the toilet seat, floor, etc.

 

The one day, she had a massive shit stain on her, that the stall was covered in shit, the walls, her pants, and it was going down her back of the leg, leaving trails behind. It was so bad, she sat down, and left with a pile of shit on the bench.

 

 

This is what trainees are for. To clean up the shit.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Earlier tonight I got stall anxiety when the other guy was grunting and groaning and heavily breathing. Thought you needed to know.

[Ted the Poster 0]

When that happens to me I usually try to top the other guy's loudness just to mess with him.

 

You guys who can only go in a public restroom if you're alone disturb me.

[Guest BDC]

I'm not so much bothered by people in stalls unless they're giving commentary. "OH DEAR GOD. Whew... OH DAMN THAT'S A BIG ONE"

[The Czech Republic 0]

Once this guy was like "YEAH!", like SteveHolt!, and it was funny.

[haws bah gawd 0]

We used to have this guest at Wendy's called "Code Brown"

 

The Code Brown lady always made a mess in the stalls, leaving shit on the toilet seat, floor, etc.

 

The one day, she had a massive shit stain on her, that the stall was covered in shit, the walls, her pants, and it was going down her back of the leg, leaving trails behind. It was so bad, she sat down, and left with a pile of shit on the bench.

 

 

This is what trainees are for. To clean up the shit.

If I were a trainee there and you asked me to clean-up shit, I would promptly tell you to take the job and cram it up your ass.

 

Once when working at Kroger, I was asked to clean shit (or as she called it, "doo-doo")off the women's bathroom floor by the DM's wife (she had NO stroke in the company, but had her ass relentlessly kissed because of being married to the DM). I told her no. She said "I believe when you signed the papers to work here, you agreed to certain janitorial duties". I told her to go to the manager's office, get my contract, and show me where I agreed to clean up shit. I considered the bitch owned when there was no sign of the "certain janitorial duties" on my contract. Then the assistant store manager had to clean up the mess.

 

In closing, I will gladly walk out on a job before I even consider touching shit, piss, vomit, etc.

[Guest Berserk_Fury]

I remember when i worked at a resturant. When it was getting close to quitting time, we would have to check the bathrooms. I am always amazed when people drop a load and then just get up and not flush the toilet. Usually when there is a big mess, I would just leave it there for somebody else to take care of. When I was in college, I would notice that a lot of people will be crapping and then get out their cell phones and call somebody up. That is just wierd.

[haws bah gawd 0]

When I was in college, I would notice that a lot of people will be crapping and then get out their cell phones and call somebody up. That is just wierd.

I have a friend that does that to me all the time.

[Guest bigshot]

When I was in college, I would notice that a lot of people will be crapping and then get out their cell phones and call somebody up. That is just wierd.

 

I have a friend that does that to me all the time.

 

I talk on my cell phone too, I reall am glad to know I am not alone... personallly I will wait for hours to take a dump if I know I can find a filthy public toilet!!!! I love hearing other men moan in disgust while I am pushing pounds of violation out of my ass!!!!!! Seriously, I NEVER flush!!! and some times I force people to come look at my GIANT TERDS!!!!! I have been known to take pictures, perhaps I will post a few if you are lucky!!!!!

[haws bah gawd 0]

BigShot, that is one of the most horrible things I have ever seen.

 

[Jingus 0]

Today's Lesson: never click on any link provided by someone who's obviously either a gimmick account or a PBP.

[Guest bigshot]

Well, its pretty bad, but someone has to do it... you know be a total disgusting fucking ass whole who posts these pictures for the world to see.... youre welcome. oh and this is absoluetly for real... check this out too... its fun... oh... BTW>>>NWS.... --> funfunfun

[Guest Nater]

I wont use any toilet that has obviously not been maintained. My moves are almost clockwork though, so it's rarely an issue.

 

I hate the jackasses that leave burning cigarettes on the seat, causing it to melt and become more of a bacteria magnet than before. I suggest avoiding the hell out of those.

[Guest El Satanico]

When I was in college, I would notice that a lot of people will be crapping and then get out their cell phones and call somebody up. That is just wierd.

I have a friend that does that to me all the time.

Having issues with that is completely irratioonal and makes you sound like a lunatic.

 

shit particles aren't going to transfer across the phone line.

[Art Sandusky 0]

I take a huge dump at work every shift and think fondly of this thread as I make the place unhabitable for about a half hour.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Do you eat the pizza from your workplace or something? That place has always made me take big dumps. The kind where it sounds like you dropped an apple into the water.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Pizzas and calzones, man.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Thought so. The big dumps are always the most satisfying to take.

[King Cucaracha 0]

When I was in college, I would notice that a lot of people will be crapping and then get out their cell phones and call somebody up. That is just wierd.

I have a friend that does that to me all the time.

Having issues with that is completely irratioonal and makes you sound like a lunatic.

 

shit particles aren't going to transfer across the phone line.

But if you're on the phone to someone taking a shit, you can hear them taking the shit.

 

I'd assume that was the issue, rather than hygiene.

[Guest StylesMark]

Some people have stomach problems man. I shit at work, which I don't like to do, but have to once a week or so. Get over your phobias, be men, and go take a shit at Sears damnit!

[haws bah gawd 0]

When I was in college, I would notice that a lot of people will be crapping and then get out their cell phones and call somebody up. That is just wierd.

I have a friend that does that to me all the time.

Having issues with that is completely irratioonal and makes you sound like a lunatic.

 

shit particles aren't going to transfer across the phone line.

But if you're on the phone to someone taking a shit, you can hear them taking the shit.

 

I'd assume that was the issue, rather than hygiene.

It's not that Im worried about shit particles coming through the phone. Its that when I hear him straining and moaning, it gets a little too fucking weird.