Battleground Border Run

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

Blork. I think Tom said I should do this, so I am. Or something.

 

I could tell you folk about the backstory to it, but I honestly don't care, and I doubt you guys do, so fuck it. Suffice it to say, I used to, every PPV, tell the fed I was heading down to Mexico and if anyone wanted anything Mexican or Central/South American, I'd bring it back. Then it got stupid and shit, but I think there's been enough time that this time it won't suck. As much.

 

So, tell me what you'd like me to pick up on this border run, and if you win, or are a marker/retiree, you'll get it. Guys named Chad living in Chad are prohibited from entering. Sorry. If you request something non-Mexican or South/Central American, like say, a Kit-Kat bar, there will be severe consequences. So, get to requesterin'.

[Ace309]

I'll take a salsa plate, by which I mean the Mexican Cruiserweight Championship.

[chirs3]

Bring me Sane Luchadore.

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

Bring me Sane Luchadore.

Psst, it's 'luchador', no 'e' on the end. Speaking of which, how about El Luchador(e) Mediocoro? If I cared enough/had my Spanish-English dictionary, it would be the actual word for mediocore, but, meh.

[The Ill One]

In retrospect I never should of named a character who isn't too great at aerial and not Mexican a "luchador." I've given up on the 'e' in "luchadore" and the 'a' instead of an 'e' in "rickman." That's also what I get from having my name resemble Alan Rickman. I should've stuck with Luchawhore, honestly.

 

Regardless here's my list-

 

-Mexican midget who can pull a tequila worm from his mouth out his nostrils.

-Hunt down ELM and roll him up in a Mexican flag. I need to eat him in hope to consume his powers. He'd be delicious in cajun.

 

After that, I'm all good.

[Toxxic]

A Mexican tortoise with a gun.

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

I'll keep it simple. A big ass plate of steak and chicken fajitas; just because I've been on this big rusting tub for four months, and I haven't had a good meal in ages.

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

I'll keep it simple. A big ass plate of steak and chicken fajitas; just because I've been on this big rusting tub for four months, and I haven't had a good meal in ages.

Sorry, WC, but paragraph 8, section 3 states that either: 1. A midget, 2. A luchador, or 3. A midget luchador must be requested.

[Toxxic]

Yeah. My tortoise is a luchadore tortoise. He wrestles under a mask to prevent anyone finding out that he's so athletic.

[Mr. S£im Citrus]

Alright then... I'll take the fajitas, and a midget luchador to serve them to me.

[The Ill One]

Oh and if you happen to come across Raynor's escaped midget test dummies then I'd adore a dozen of those. IL needs to learn how to wrestle on somebody.

[A Happy Medium]

Some Montezuma's Revenge in a bottle.

 

El Loco Hombre in a zoot suit tripping on Xstasy. Yes, you heard me right. I want Xstasy always lying down passed out from alcohol poisoning, and Loco tripping over him all of the time.

 

And finally...Andy Dufresne's exact whereabouts. Need to get a jump on next tax season.

[Toshiaki Koala]

A tall luchador.

[Chuck Woolery]

I want the entire cast of Mucha Lucha to come fill out our undercard.

[Ced]

Bring me my Mexican equivalent and two absurdly large sombreros. Mexican Hat Dance, Bemani Style.

 

Also bring back a plate of the best damn taquitos you can find.

[TheBostonStrangler]

I always thought you WERE your Mexican equivalant, Mr. Ordonez.

 

I'd like the following things:

 

- A rusted 1968 Volkswagon Beetle from Mexico City so I can practice my no-selling

- The 8th nicest brick from an Aztec pyramid

- A turquoise statue of Chris Raynor dressed up in a mariachi outfit

- Mexico's only book (it's a Spanish version of Green Eggs and Ham)

 

Thank you.

[Guest Lord David]

I'll keep it simple. A big ass plate of steak and chicken fajitas; just because I've been on this big rusting tub for four months, and I haven't had a good meal in ages.

Sorry, WC, but paragraph 8, section 3 states that either: 1. A midget, 2. A luchador, or 3. A midget luchador must be requested.

I'll take a luchador done medium rare for me, and the girlfriend will take a well cooked midget. .

[JHawk]

I want a case of Corona extra, three bottles of tequila, all the Mexican food you can carry in the bed of a pickup truck, and a hot senorita who can give me taco-flavored kisses.

[JJ Johnson]

BRING ME PETER PAN!!!

 

 

 

 

What? He's kind of a midget.

[Ced]

I always thought you WERE your Mexican equivalant, Mr. Ordonez.

I just have a Mexican sounding last name. I get annoyed at the large quantity of Spanish literature and telemarketer calls I have to endure because of that fact.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

The Mexican equivalent of Mr. Rogers.

[hhh6294]

all I want is a giant taco.

 

...and my own zombie luchadore army.

[TheBostonStrangler]

Ced, on the bright side, you can claim yourself as a minority on job applications, census data, etc. and get awesome minority discounts

[JJ Johnson]

True, but if you break the law, you would be a minority suspect. And that's not something I would wish on anyone.

[TheBostonStrangler]

Like a Latino would ever commit a crime!

 

*looks around with shifty eyes*

[Angel_Grace_Blue]

[Ced]

Actually, I'm Filipino, which makes me the Mexican of the Asian community. Some applications and surveys have started giving us our own bubble, which is quite the rock.

 

And I have been racially profiled after a red light violation. The cop checked off Hispanic.

[TheBostonStrangler]

That must have been a proud day for your people when you were granted that bubble on your loan application or whatever. At least you know that people will discriminate against your ethnic group specifically rather than lumping you in with some other bunch of dirty foreigners. Even if that cop tries to take away your right to be denied service and/or rights as a Filipino rather than a Mexican, you can see the tide turning. FIGHT ON, GOOD SIR! FIGHT ON!