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Posted
Anyways, Give me some good ideas for signs to take people's money. I was thinking something like "Funding Al-Qaeda" would be nice.

 

Go for a really nerdy reference that if people don't get it, will just seem totally non sequitur. I do things like this for all occasions. I suggest "The Cosmic Yellow's Got Me By the Brain Banana".

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Guest Vitamin X
Posted
On the subject of drinking, I've been drunk 6 out of the 9 nights I've been in Illinois and stoned just as many. It's been great seeing friends again, but the beer, weed, and fast food has seriously gotten me lethargic. I can't wait to get home and resume healthy eating, working out, and not drinking.

 

I eat well and work out, and I still drink and smoke out on occasion (although that's gotten to be very occasionally over the past few months). No reason why you can't have your fun and be good to yourself at the same time.

Posted
Ahh the mental picture of Milky posting on TSM with squinted, almost-swollen-shut eyes, freshly missing teeth and a hole in his cheek. Now that's message board dedication.

 

Yeah, for real. I'm surprised anyone believed it, considering A) I probably wouldn't want to post on a message board, B) I'd be ashamed that it happened, considering I'd just claimed I had drinking under control, and C) I had just said I was going to write a fake addiction memoir.

 

I was hoping it was real so I could raise the question: What's the better TSM scenerio, posting on a message board before getting an ambulance, or at a girls house about to get sex?

 

Wasn't there someone here many years ago who was posting not long after allegedly getting stabbed?

Posted

I'm officially retiring the name Milky Korova. Milky represents the evil David, and in sincere efforts to turn over a new leaf and start fresh, I will no longer use this name. I expect that people will still call me Milky, and I will still respond, but I will no longer refer to myself or self identify as Milky. From now on, you have to call me Nighthawk.

Posted
From now on, you have to call me Nighthawk.

 

that's pretty abstract, naming yourself after those really awful frozen dinners.

Guest The Elements of Style
Posted

I thought he was going for an Edward Hopper thing.

Posted
I'm officially retiring the name Milky Korova. Milky represents the evil David, and in sincere efforts to turn over a new leaf and start fresh, I will no longer use this name. I expect that people will still call me Milky, and I will still respond, but I will no longer refer to myself or self identify as Milky. From now on, you have to call me Nighthawk.

 

Don't we have a poster named Nighthawk? Won't this just cause confusion?

 

I like it.

Posted
I'm going to bum my way across Canada for the month of August, and settle in BC some time in September. You guys are lucky, because you won't have to put up with me anymore, except for EHME who I'm going to step to in the streets when I get to Calgary.

 

Anyways, Give me some good ideas for signs to take people's money. I was thinking something like "Funding Al-Qaeda" would be nice.

 

i see people like this all the time in pittsburgh. usually traveling in pairs or threes, haven't had a shower but always have good teeth, are very precise and polite in their vocabulary, usually have a dog with them. they're common enough that there's a name for them, i can't remember what it is. i fucking hate these people. my money is going to the 40-year-old guy on crutches with the drinking problem who's panhandling because he can't get work--not to the little tourist shits who think it'll be an "adventure."

 

Posted

God bless.

 

I don't understand why you hate them so much though. Is it because you don't have the balls to pack up and leave? If you just don't have the desire too, that's fine, but some people do. For some people like me, working a 9-5 routine and starting a family isn't living at all. Perhaps once I'm older that will change.

Posted

God, you and I are really a lot a like. I realized recently that not only am I a bitter, hate-filled misanthrope, but often a genuinely mean spirited dick.

 

I justified this by saying "Well, I'm always there for and care about people I like." True. But I like barely anyone.

 

I think people deserve to be treated like shit because they disgust me. But... if you're not part of the solution, your part of the problem.

 

Oh shit, does that mean I have to start voting too?

 

Perhaps I should reevaluates my life.

Posted

Why is it that a room seems LESS clean when it smells of cleaning chemicals? I just spent a while cleaning my bathroom, and now the master bedroom smells like I need to shower just for being near it.

Posted

Example of me being a bastard: I was relating to a friend a story of an old man on a bus who told me he was surprised to hear they could say "crap" on tv. My friend says "Well, jeez, Dave, he's old fashioned, but I don't know if that makes him scum." I didn't even realize I had called him scum, it's just my default noun.

Posted

The Wikipedia entry for "Nighthawk" has proved most illuminating. I've bolded the parts that are most relevant to our friend, TAFKA Milky:

 

Nighthawks are birds of the nightjar family in the New World subfamily Chordeilinae.

 

They are medium-sized nocturnal birds with long wings, short legs and very short bills that usually nest on the ground and catch flying insects. The Least Nighthawk, at 16 cm (6.3 inches) and 23 grams, is the smallest of all Caprimulgiformes. Nightjars are sometimes referred to as goatsuckers from the mistaken belief that they suck milk from goats (the Latin for goatsucker is Caprimulgus).

 

Nighthawks have small feet, of little use for walking, and long pointed wings. Their soft plumage is cryptically coloured to resemble bark or leaves. Some species, unusual for birds, perch along a branch, rather than across it. This helps to conceal them during the day. They lay two patterned eggs directly onto bare ground.

 

They are mostly active in the late evening and early morning or at night, and feed predominantly on moths and other large flying insects.

 

Nighthawks are similar in most respects to the nightjars of the Old World, but have shorter bills and less soft plumage. Nighthawks are less strictly nocturnal than many Old World nightjars, and may be seen hunting when there is still light in the sky.

Posted

I got a higher salaried management position today at Walker Machinery, West Virginia and southern Ohio's Caterpillar representative. I am celebrating tomorrow by drinking until I die. Thornton Mellon phrased it best in "Back to School" when he said: "Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until someone passes out, then bring one every ten."

Posted

I dreamed last night that CanadianChris won the hockey pool, and celebrated with his wife by brandishing the 10000 dollar winner's cheque he received. He and his wife were the guy who plays Job and Amy Poehler from Blades of Glory, but dressed and acting sensibly.

 

Oh yeah, that was the lead to SportsCentre's opening highlights package. The rest of the video featured highlights of my backyard wrestling career.

 

Since someone's going to ask: I can't find a picture of it, but "cheques will not be honoured".

 

 

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