House of the Dead

[Ripper 0]

I own Troll 2.

 

 

The reason I own this movie is because it is the most gawd awful piece of cinema I have ever seen to the point that it is fall on the florr clutching my stomach hilarious. No one can act, the script is incredibly stupid, the monsters are actually Goblins, not trolls and it contains this line:

 

Sheriff Freak: There're sandwiches for tonight! It'll go easier on you if you eat'em. Otherwise, we'll be forced to kill you.....VIOLENTLY!

 

 

Well people. I have a new movie that needs to sit besides this DVD. House of the Dead was so ridiculously bad. And I mean HORRIBLE that you can't help but fall over laughing. The script, the acting, the plot....its all just so bad.

 

I heard this movie was bad but I was thinking it was Resident Evil 2 bad. Oh no. Not at all. This has stepped into the Troll 2 realm of bad where absoloutley everything that hits the screen is completely hilarious mostly because they are taking themselves so seriously.

 

Just go see the movie.

[Special K 0]

Some defining moments:

 

-Random shots of the House of the Dead videogame (shown in negative) intercut with scene changes. Good one, Uwe.

 

-The whole premise is these kids go to 'the biggest rave ever' on some island. They are very invested in this idea, and spend a shitload of money and effort getting there. They show up, and no one's there. Are they upset? Hell no! There're KEGS there! Woohoo!

 

-Shot from the trees. As the kids walk away, a hand grabs a nearby tree suddenly. Fright music blares! Then for no reason a farting sound effect plays. I have no idea why this is in the movie.

 

I have to disagree with you hear, Ripper. House of the Dead is just terrible. Not enjoyably terrible. It's slow. It's dumb. It's not entertaining at all. It's, in fact, a terribly boring movie. Maybe it turns into some great kitsch-fest in the last act, I wouldn't know, because I couldn't make it all the way through the movie. And I've sat through some real shit in my day.

 

You want a terrible movie that's enjoyable? Rent Battlefield Baseball, or a Troma flick.

 

The scary thing is I hear Alone in the Dark (same director) is even worse. Seeing as it has Tara Reid playing a scientist, I can believe it.

[LJSexay 0]

I love the fight scenes (in the hateful, it makes me die way) where the camera is CONSTANTLY doing that 360 camera effect.

 

Sweet jesus. Worst movie ever.

[Ripper 0]

You want a terrible movie that's enjoyable? Rent Battlefield Baseball, or a Troma flick.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

I think its only funny if they are trying to seroiusly create a good movie and it turns out to be goddamn awful.

[dubq 0]

I bought this movie for something like $5 at Rogers Video for the sheer horribleness of it. It's a great example to give people when you try to convince them of why Uwe Boll shouldn't be allowed to make movies.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

I recall watching this with some friends all kinds of fucked up and it still not being anything worthwhile.

[The Mandarin 0]

The chick skinny-dipping at the beginning was the only redeeming part of the film.

[2GOLD 0]

Uwe Boll might go down as the worst director ever, taking the title away from Ed Wood.

 

Only Ed made his movies on extremely tight budget while Uwe has blown MILLIONS to make his shitty films. Films that actually COULD have been good if he actually followed the original storylines instead of using his shitty vision.

[Ted the Poster 0]

The saddest thing is that Boll actually views his own films as good, and that most people dont "get it".

[2GOLD 0]

The saddest thing is that Boll actually views his own films as good, and that most people dont "get it".

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Probably looks in the toilet and doesn't understand why people want him to flush his "art"

[dubq 0]

Uwe Boll might go down as the worst director ever, taking the title away from Ed Wood.

 

Only Ed made his movies on extremely tight budget while Uwe has blown MILLIONS to make his shitty films. Films that actually COULD have been good if he actually followed the original storylines instead of using his shitty vision.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

"Remember, it has to have lots of loud explosions because that's what people are scared of! Also, even though it takes place somewhere else, let's change that to an island because I can get a deal on it."

 

I still remember that interview with a screenwriting company that had to deal with Boll for the original version of Alone in the Dark. Fucking funny shit!

[RedJed 0]

Indeed as someone said, Alone in the Dark is well worse than House of the Dead, and thats saying ALOT. Bol's next project is Bloodrayne, of course another take on a video game. Surprisingly I've heard semi-decent reviews so far.

[2GOLD 0]

Indeed as someone said, Alone in the Dark is well worse than House of the Dead, and thats saying ALOT. Bol's next project is Bloodrayne, of course another take on a video game. Surprisingly I've heard semi-decent reviews so far.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

There was little to no way he could have screwed up BloodRayne. It has all the stupid stuff he loves.

 

Nazis, vampires, tons of blood and a chick barely wearing clothes. Add in his loud explosions and some shots of gloved hands on walls and you have a Boll dream project.

 

The only way he could have fucked up BloodRayne was make her a werewolf and have her enemies be rednecks in a shopping mall.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

This movie makes Super Mario Bros. and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation look like Oscar material.

[Darthtiki 0]

Anyone know if Bloodrayne ever was released

[Vyce 0]

I need to see this film to see how bad it is.

 

Because I rented "The Dead Next Door" a couple weeks back, and it was easily the worst zombie film I've ever seen, and one of the worst films I've ever seen period. Granted, it was in Super 8 and made 20 years, but still, it'll be hard to overcome.

[Coolclint 0]

He's also doing Dungeon Siege (which nobody wanted to see, either), and thinks he can make it an epic, LOTR type movie.

 

One pic has been released, and people are baffled about how he got actual name talent (re: not tara reid) for the movie.

[Kardo 0]

The whole Graveyard scene in the movie is hilarious. Me and my friend got bored so we redubbed Monster Mash over the scene, just makes it that much better.

 

There's also a part in the scene where you see a zombie dancing in the background (?!?).

[cabbageboy 0]

I have not seen House of the Dead, mainly because I did rent Alone in the Dark. Good God that movie was just BAD, and most of the time not even so bad it was funny. Incoherent, inept, terrible.

 

Ed Wood's actual ideas weren't really that bad...he just didn't have any $$ to work with and thus rushed through everything just to get things done. I mean let's face it, a mad scientist living in the Louisiana swamps and keeping a pet octopus, while striving to create atomic supermen is a pretty cool plot.

[AndrewTS 0]

There are worse movies--yeah, saw HotD and got the DVD, plus I've seen AitD (in theaters, mind you). And yes, worse recent movies (discounting the 50's junk with talks of WHITE GUYS TALKING AND SMOKING IN ROOMS, Manos and Monster A Go Go).

 

Try Dracula 3000.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Yes, House... sucks. You guys should see Evil Ed. It's one of the best "so bad it's great" movies ever.

[Ripper 0]

There are worse movies--yeah, saw HotD and got the DVD, plus I've seen AitD (in theaters, mind you).  And yes, worse recent movies (discounting the 50's junk with talks of WHITE GUYS TALKING AND SMOKING IN ROOMS, Manos and Monster A Go Go).

 

Try Dracula 3000.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I would get Dracula 3000 but there is this "No Coolio" rule in my hose. so, I can't.

[Guest JesusJuiced]

On the plus side, it has Smallville's Lois Lane topless. Shame she looks quite a lot different.

[cabbageboy 0]

My friend Ian rented Dracula 3000 recently and he had the same thoughts on it. As in, it sucks BAD.

[gWIL 0]

I just bought HotD. For $3. New. I can't wait to watch it.