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The Niggardly King

Chuck Norris Responds

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http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx

 

IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET

 

I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.

~ Chuck Norris

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trying to pimp his book.

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I got more of a laugh out of his twisting the facts into a shill for his book than I did from (most of) the facts themselves

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Chuck Norris once was on a TV show called "Walker Texas Ranger".

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I like that Chuck will autograph anything you buy from his site for only 100 dollars extra!

One hundred fucking dollars for the autograph of Walker, Texas Ranger. Somebody is really overestimating his worth. And bless him for it.

 

His "Farewell letter" dedicated to the end of Walker is classic.

 

Chuck Norris: Funny even when he's not trying to be funny.

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Chuck originally had a tour of all the lame talk shows to shill his autobiography, but his sales method was to roundhouse kick everyone in the audience until they bought a copy, so they had to cancel it

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Chuck actually has already written several autobiographies under various pseudonyms.

 

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Bible

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Torah

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Bhagavad Gita

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Koran

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Tao De Ching

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The Analects of Confucius

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Book of Mormon

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Guest Psycho_Freak
Chuck Norris hotwired a car with his eyes? I think I'll buy his novel.

 

Im just waiting for the chuck norris videogame :D

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