chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 (edited) The Smartmark's Wrestling Federation Presents... SWF STORM LIVE, FRIDAY, MARCH 24th, FROM THE SOLD OUT TIGER STADIUM IN BATON ROUGE, LOUISIANA! (7:00pm PST, 10:00pm EST; check local listings) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- The SWF's Hell or High Water tour keeps on truckin', this time to Baton Rouge, Louisiana! It could have been New Orleans, but I am finally in a position of power, which means I can abuse it at my discretion, so Baton Rouge it is! Tonight's show takes place in Tiger Stadium, on the Louisiana State University campus! Also known as "Death Valley", Tiger Stadium is known for many things (I think), but of particular interest is the fact that its fans have broken records by cheering entirely too loud - and that's just at crappy football games! Imagine how crazy they'll go for ACTION PACKED EXCITEMENT! And they'll have even more reason to cheer for the guest commentator - ANNIE ECLECTIC! Plus - Wes Davenport is the champ, but so far, he's a champ without a contender! Will we finally learn the details behind who his first defense will be against? And the Wildchild/Jay Hawke International Title Rematch hits another speedbump, as family matters keep Wildchild out of harm's way for one more show. Surely Jay Hawke will not be pleased with this... -=-=-=-=- THE MAIN EVENT - SWF Cruiserweight Championship Match "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu © © vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins GUEST COMMENTATOR: Ghost Machine 2.0 ---> Oooooh yeeeeeah, diggit! The Cruisers take the Main Event! Spike Jenkins cashes in his long-awaited shot against the man who took the gold from his partner, Akira Kaibatsu! Will Spike bring the gold back home to Camp Spyon, or will Akira retain, and leave SpYon in the dust? And this match just wouldn't be complete without the man next in line for a shot on Color Commentary. Rules: PURE RULES. Each man has three ropebreaks allowed to break up submissions and pinfalls - after those three are used up, there are no more ropebreaks. Closed fist punches result in the loss of a rope break - if you throw a closed fist and you have no more ropebreaks, you are disqualified, and the title CAN change hands in this manner. Outside count goes to 20. Word Limit: 6000 Send to: realitycheck -=-=-=-=- Ultraviolent Championship Match - House Rules Fever Pitch Match Bruce Blank © vs. Sean Davis ---> Bruce Blank scored his lucky 13th on Smarkdown, and how are we celebrating? By shoving him straight into #14! Tonight, the Beat the Champ Challenge sees Sean Davis vying for the title. Davis had an impressive reign of his own a while back - will he be the one to defeat the Hardcore King? Rules: Tiger Stadium crowds have set a record for loudest audience ever - it's time to see if our competitors can do the same! The match will be fought under standard hardcore rules - no DQ, no countout, BUT! The object of the match is not to pin your opponent! LSU Professor Mark Slovak and his undergraduates will be on the floor, right in the thick of the action, measuring the volume of our competitors! The match will last 15 minutes long - your goal, within that time, is to make your opponent scream/shriek/cry/etc. as loud as they can! Whoever has the loudest decibel volume recorded at the end of the match is the loser! Word Limit: 5500 Send to: Justice -=-=-=-=- Zyon vs. Ghost Machine 2.0 ---> Ghost Machine picked up a HUGE win over Spike Jenkins on Smarkdown, sending a clear message to the Cruiser Division: 0001011100101001011010111001. Get it? It's a binary joke. Anyway, while Ghost Machine patiently awaits his shot at the Cruiserweight title, he takes on the former owner of said title, Zyon! A win for GM would be big... a win for Zyon, potentially bigger... Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 5000 Send to: Secret Agent -=-=-=-=- Tornado Tag Team Match Insane Luchadore and Amy Stephens vs. Kevin Coyote and The Crimson Skull ---> Insane Luchadore and Amy Stephens have something in common - they both want a shot at Bruce. Will they be united in their hatred for all things Blank, or will their quest for Ultraviolent Gold pit them against each other? Hopefully the former, as they will be facing the formidable team of Kevin Coyote and The Crimson Skull, who also have something in common - neither one has an A in their name. Rules: Tornado tag rules - everyone is legal, all the time! No countouts! DQ's are still in effect, though, and pinfalls still take place inside the ring. Word Limit: 5000 Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=- I Am Completely Lacking In Originality Triple Threat Stryke vs. Christian Fury vs. Jimmy the Doom ---> In the name of getting as many people booked as possible, two Calvinball losers will take their aggression out on the winner! Rules: Standard triple threat rules (no tags required). Word Limit: 4500 Send to: janusd -=-=-=-=- Opening Bout JJ Johnson vs. David Cross ---> BECAUSE, that's why. Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 4000 Send to: Evolution -=-=-=-=- Opening Promo: Unclaimed! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- (Send all promos, marked matches, etc. to realitycheck...) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Edited March 21, 2006 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 (edited) Same deal as before. Give a good description of Annie, get a cookie. Another commentator I did not have the pleasure of writing, I'm afraid, but I know her three-person team with Judge and Ejiro gets good reviews. She's a she. Pretty sure I can safely say that. It's probably also fair to say that her last name is accurate. Anyone else? Helpful history and whatnot? Edited March 21, 2006 by chirs3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Smartly Pretty 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 Holy word count batman, 6k~! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chirs3 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 Also note, that since this is my hometown, any and all positive/flattering/suck-upping references to Chris Raynor will be awarded bonus points. However, no bonus points will be awarded for using the Death Valley Driver. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 Annie in the SJL was pretty much wrote as an out and out lesbian who routed for the faces. She had a thing for Megan Skye in particular (and by in particular, I mean that's about all I can remember), but that probably doesn't help anyone. She seemed to be as much about annoying Ejiro and Judge as calling the matches, but I don't know what history if any she had with King. But she's a lesbian. That needs saying. Also, I know I no-showed last show and stuff, but it's ironic that the show you put Annie on, the character I sorta suggested as regular commentator, I'm unbooked. Or poetic. One of the two. Probably for the best actually, but I'll promo just to show I'm not completely unreliable. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
super_tigris 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 Somewhat wishing we'd be tagging tonight, as I totally missed my cue on the match against Maddix. My fault, not sure if he no-showed, though. Anyways, good luck to Akira, I guess Cross is back to training and working off his knee injury (the kayfabe reason he's not booked, as we all know it's because of a no-show). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vasarian_Brandy 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 Thanks, Rayn Man, for getting me in on this show. Not thanks for booking me in a triple threat. Punkus. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 I just wanted to chime in with some decibel knowledge.... A loud dance club packed with people usually generates around 100 dB. A sold-out rock concert can go anywhere between 110-130 dB. Also, anything above 85-90 dB can be considered harmful to the human body, though it takes upwards of 150 dB to cause physical damage and close to 200 dB to cause death. Also note that every time the dB level jumps by 3 (say between 60 and 63) the amount of POWER is doubled, or that it's twice as loud. Anybody that has done audio editting will notice alot of pre-set amplifications are usually +/-3 or 6, usually doubling or quadrupling (or halfing and qaurtering) the dBs. So if Bruce screams at a measure of around 80 dB, Sean would have to scream almost twice as loud just to get a reading of 83 dB. I would say that as far as the human scream goes, people should be seeing readings anywhere between 70 and 110, with a reading of 110 being like a chainsaw heard from about 4 feet away. Credit: Wikipedia and myself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 That's probably the most random cameo posting by a retiree all month... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Satanic Angel Report post Posted March 21, 2006 Thank you, Rando. I was going to do the research, but now that you've done it for me.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 Thank you, Rando. I was going to do the research, but now that you've done it for me..I second that thanks - now I can focus my research on waxing and how loud someone would scream for a first time brazillian wax Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 I'm aware that i'm saying this as a member of a fictional wrestling federation, but you all need to get out more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2006 LOL the beauty of irony is that it's so ironic Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest OKCoyote Report post Posted March 22, 2006 Seemingly innocuous random tag, or ulterior motive booking? OH MY GOD THE BRAIN FRIEEZ~! EDIT: Wait. Who is Crimson Skull, and why does he not have stats? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2006 Crimson Skull is Sly. He has stats in the old thread. Or, alternatively, here: Wrestlers Name: The Crimson Skull Height: 6' 4" Weight: 285 lbs Hometown: Original - Parts Unknown, Current - Kiev, Ukraine (can be introduced as from parts unknown, now residing in Kiev, Ukraine if you wish) Age: Unknown Face/Heel: Heel, but his comedic actions could probably get face pops... Stable: none Ring Escort: Heff, his EVIL~! assistant. Weapon(s): Any Quote: Looks: His dark hair flows down from the sides and the back of his head. Covering his face is a crimson mask that covers from slightly above his eyes to down to the tip of his nose and around his face. The only thing showing is his mouth. A red skull is centered on the chest of his spandex black shirt, a red cape hangs behind him. He wears a silver belt and black spandex pants. He’s stacked, too. Think of him as every body builder you’ve ever seen, times two. Or maybe one and a half. Intimidating big. Ring Entrance: *Bang* An eruption of sparks flies up from the front of the entrance stage. Out from behind the curtain runs out six women wearing gold, glittering shorts and tank tops. "Everybody dance now!” They begin to freestyle dance, bump and grind, and everything else you can think of as “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now!)” by C & C Music Factory blares over the P.A. system. The Crimson Skull emerges from the back, flanked by his assistant Heff, and walks through the madness on his way down towards the ring. Stats: ¯¯¯¯¯ Strength: 9 Speed: 2 Vitality: 4 Charisma: 5 Style: Big Man, Brawler. He was never trained to be a wrestler… so… he wrestles like that. Signature moves: - Spear~! - Belly to Belly Suplex - DDT - Strong Spinebuster (shake the ring strong) - Double Hand Toss over the top rope - Corner Splash - Big Boot - Bear Hug Common moves: - Punch - Kick - Irish Whip - Headlock - Heart Punch - Kidney Punch - Discuss Double Axehandle - Single or Double Handed Choke Toss, depending on opponent’s weight - Clothesline - Leg Drop - Elbow Drop - Cheating Moves (Low Blows, Eye Pokes, Etc.) Rare moves: - Chokeslam - Frogsplash - Collapse Piledriver - Top Rope Leg Drop Finishers: - Crimson Splash (A top rope splash that sends 285 pounds of flesh falling on you. This is his main finisher, allowing that he can put you down for long enough to climb the turnbuckles.) - Pop Your Skull! (An intense choke hold, named such for the way it looks like your skull is about to pop out. This is easily broken just like any other choke hold, but he’ll defiantly take advantage of it if he ever has a chance.) Notes: He’s a super villain. While he takes himself seriously enough, it’s hard to believe that the rest of the world could ever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Satanic Angel Report post Posted March 22, 2006 I'm aware that i'm saying this as a member of a fictional wrestling federation, but you all need to get out more. Fuck. You. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted March 22, 2006 That might help too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bruce Blank 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2006 Wasn't Annie one of the guest commentators at last years Ground Zero? the England portion? or is Annie Onita totally different from Annie Eclectic? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2006 Nope, same lesbian; I know they all look alike, but... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2006 Wait a minute: did I just insult Asians, or lesbians, or both? Or neither? Or, did my attempt at humor just die on the table? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2006 Annie Eclectic:Ann Onita::The Rock:Rocky Maivia. Ann Onita is basically the writer turned up several notches, and Annie Eclectic is Ann Onita on amphetamines. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest OKCoyote Report post Posted March 23, 2006 Thanks Toxx. OH MY GOD THERES A MONKEY ON MY BACK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2006 Blank : I think Annie indeed was guest commentator - that completely slipped my mind. I used her to take the piss out of Flesher as I recall, which was even more amusing due to the fact that she kept repeatedly losing to him the year before. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Crowe 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 I just wanted to chime in with some decibel knowledge.... A loud dance club packed with people usually generates around 100 dB. A sold-out rock concert can go anywhere between 110-130 dB. Also, anything above 85-90 dB can be considered harmful to the human body, though it takes upwards of 150 dB to cause physical damage and close to 200 dB to cause death. Also note that every time the dB level jumps by 3 (say between 60 and 63) the amount of POWER is doubled, or that it's twice as loud. Anybody that has done audio editting will notice alot of pre-set amplifications are usually +/-3 or 6, usually doubling or quadrupling (or halfing and qaurtering) the dBs. So if Bruce screams at a measure of around 80 dB, Sean would have to scream almost twice as loud just to get a reading of 83 dB. I would say that as far as the human scream goes, people should be seeing readings anywhere between 70 and 110, with a reading of 110 being like a chainsaw heard from about 4 feet away. Credit: Wikipedia and myself. Shut the fuck up, Rando. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sly 0 Report post Posted March 24, 2006 Thanks Toxx. OH MY GOD THERES A MONKEY ON MY BACK lolz u r funie Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest OKCoyote Report post Posted March 25, 2006 Perhaps. Wasn't lying though, was I. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
