13th Hour Comments

[chirs3 0]

Not a single DNS. Not one.

 

Moreover, my matches were a bitch to mark, especially the INT and the World. Both were very close, and from what I hear from the other markers, and as I read over the PPV, it seems like nearly everyone else turned in an A+ effort as well.

 

Tildebangs all around.

 

Aftershoxxxxxx card is being cranked out as we speak.

Edited June 13, 2006 by chirs3

[The Ill One 0]

Huge congrats to Aecas on his successful title defense, same to our new SWF World champion, plus Davis' win. I haven't been able to do anything but skim the rest of the show. However, I know that Matflesh's match was choice, mostly due to Peter North.

[Sly 0]

Yay for people showing, since I did not.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

So, for me, printing matches out is easier to read. I need something in my hand. So I go through the effort of copy/pasting the whole main event, doing so not to spoil it for myself. Printing it out, nearly waking up my parents, but doing so in a fashion so not to spoil it for myself.

 

I then click FireFox, and scroll up to read the first parts of the show.

 

And I blow it.

 

I'll have real comments eventually.

[Guest Aecas]

Congratulations all around to everyone. Afraid I'll have to leave it at that since I'm at bloody work and have only managed to skim the winners so far, so I'll have to wait till lunch to try and get a good read through going. But judging from the sheer mass of text breaking this POS computer it'll be a fun read

 

And I really need to learn to proof read my punctuation better :/

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

An awesome main event from Toxx, as usual. Congrats to winners.

[Toxxic 0]

Congratulations to everyone concerned - Grappler and Flesher for an excellent return to tag-teaming, Sarah for winning her third Hardcore Title (and that's just with Davis), Aecas for a great title defence, WC for beating off Grendel, Cross for pulling off what may have been the upset of the evening and taking out Zyon, and of course Drea who keeps winning with Jimmy.

 

Landon's opening promo was hilarious.

 

I want to see exactly what the hell's going on with this OatToast thing - how are we going to have an invasion when most of them can't or won't write matches?

 

And a mild portion of whoo me. Now I'll have to see what I'm doing with the belt.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

I want to see exactly what the hell's going on with this OatToast thing - how are we going to have an invasion when most of them can't or won't write matches?

It'll be like the Alliance "InVasion" of the WWE... only not as successful...

[chirs3 0]

Forgot to mention ZyKira was edited in, but I suppose Toxx just did that for me.

 

Every single match is accounted for. That just makes me so happy.

 

Free World Title shots for everyone!

 

*books fed-wide Battle Royale for Lockdown*

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

:: gives Va'aiga his World Title shot... just because the notion of Va'aiga separating Toxxic's head from his body amuses me ::

 

 

So... Cross really did wrestle for Kaibatsu?

[Toxxic 0]

Bring him on. You can have one too if you ask nicely, WC

[King Cucaracha 0]

I want to see exactly what the hell's going on with this OatToast thing - how are we going to have an invasion when most of them can't or won't write matches?

 

We can write matches. Read the shows, find out. It's just people adapting to 'SWF style' of dragging 7 minute matches out into 10k of the floweriest language possible.

 

But the invasion deal is being dealt with by Bruce (SWF), Rando (SWF), Zack (former SWF) and I'm probably helping out as and when (SWF). As far as I know, it's not a case of people coming in and writing SWF matches, because with the OAOAST, it's a case of furthering storylines through matches knowing that your stuff will be in the show regardless.

 

 

In other news, I should get around to reading the show. But congrats to Toxx. I kinda expected it, wasn't overly pleased with my match, but congrats nonetheless. Maybe if England hadn't played on Saturday things would have been different.

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

I want to see exactly what the hell's going on with this OatToast thing - how are we going to have an invasion when most of them can't or won't write matches?

 

We can write matches. Read the shows, find out. It's just people adapting to 'SWF style' of dragging 7 minute matches out into 10k of the floweriest language possible.

Or, in the case of some, stretching 5.5K into forty-five minutes...

[Rawknight 0]

I want to see exactly what the hell's going on with this OatToast thing - how are we going to have an invasion when most of them can't or won't write matches?

 

We can write matches. Read the shows, find out. It's just people adapting to 'SWF style' of dragging 7 minute matches out into 10k of the floweriest language possible.

Or, in the case of some, stretching 5.5K into forty-five minutes...

 

I claim ring rust!

[Toxxic 0]

I know we're invading there, I just wondered if they're going to invade here much.

[Zack Malibu 0]

It's not so much an Invasion as "OAOAST vs. SWF". Blank, Bloodshed, and Cortez had a specific role that brought them into the company logically, and has splintered into both the major and offshoot feuds it had been planned to lead to. They are treated as outsiders more for their M.O. rather than "OMG TEH SWF GUYZ IN OUR LOCKER ROOM SUXZ", as the majority of the angle have seen them chastised for their bloodthirst moreso than their former/current affiliation. If anyone else showed interest in coming in it wouldn't necessarily have to be for that angle, but it's an open door as to how to get any interested SWFers in storyline wise, either as allies or rivals of The Wildcards. Cheap plug here, but read up on the shows, or at least on what's going on with the SWFers in the OAOAST. I'm proud to say what we've done so far has been touted as the best angle currently in the company. Blank and Rando have both done an awesome job in getting the whole scenario over with our community.

 

As far as the writing goes, there are more than enough OAOAST writers that could gladly succeed in the SWF, however for various reasons, the most popular one being that we are less..."strict" for lack of a better word as far as the word limits, the marking system, and getting things in. Being so open minded, it adheres to everyones schedule, as if they're having a rough week, they can simply send in a quickie promo. Also, our PPV dates are set to be the last Sunday of every month, so everyone knows what to build up to in the meantime, and can work out their angles well in advance if need be. It's more of a communicating atmosphere as opposed to the competitive writing style.

 

We now return you to your normally scheduled SWF feedback thread.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Comments on the first half of the show, before I move on to the double-digit matches (WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE).

 

 

Both show-opening promos rule. Landon's actually reminded me of the scene from "Shaun of the Dead" where Shaun tries to convince his mom that "When I was a kid, Philip...touched me." And there's nothing wrong with making fun of Matt Myers.

 

Tom, meanwhile, continues to kick ass. Seriously, he took about three sentences of interaction in my portion of the match relating to the World Cup and stretched it into a completely awesome running gag through this promo and the match itself.

 

Doom vs. Sly: Drea's commentary is so completely top notch. I especially loved King wanting to put the leglock on Mak, in exchange for a stab in his nonexistant heart. TokyoX as a referee is brilliant. You know what I can't believe? That was three years ago. Where the hell does time go. Crazy submission moves that I can't even pronounce. Where do people get this stuff? That's why I stick with headbutts and powerbombs. Doom disappoints me by actually wrestling. Hmph. At least the sound effects are still there. Then again, who needs head-popping wrestling counters when you can just finish with a big powerbomb? That's what I like to see.

 

WC vs. Grendel: I still don't fully understand Grendel's gimmick, and there hasn't yet been a promo where someone rips his arms off, so I'll just continue to assume he's a ringer of some sort. Wildchild is lucky that he's a good writer, because I hate the "chain-wrestling into stalemate and applause" sequence in real life and in most fantasy matches, but I can excuse it because it's written so well. Though it might be because "Weekend in New England" by Barry Manilow is playing and I'm in a sympathetic mood. WC also gets points for using the phrase "begins hammering in the back" in a serious context, unlike me. I was starting to hope there would be a sideplot with WC's lethargy being due to drug use, but alas, there's some more high-risk offense and I'm saddened. Really nice finishing sequence to top off a really fun spotfest.

 

Matflesh vs. Dead Precedents: Like I said. Tom takes my pretty good ideas and erects them into wonders of which I could have never dreamed. Please read this, it's fun, I promise.

 

Spike vs. Davis: Well, that was certainly...brief. But still, really awesome finish, certainly worthy of the Hardcore title. Blacking out while being bearhugged against the cage? Seriously. Tight.

 

Akira is in trouble!! :-O

 

Va'aiga vs. JJ: Not gonna lie, I knew this was Voenguh's match because he and Dace are the only ones who still rock the script-style commentary. Anyway, I'm not really sure I understand the concept of this match. A normal singles match with streamers? What's with all of this chain wrestling tonight, seriously. If I'd want to see anyone bludgeon his opponent with punches and power moves, it'd be Va'aiga. Come on, now. There we go! The Maoribomb. On concrete. That's awesome. Oh. Like the indy wrestling stance, I don't understand the "Dropped on my head 50 times STAND RIGHT BACK UP" I mean, how is that even possible?! I understand going for the Puro spirit...but still. LARGELY-DESCRIPTIVE LARIAT. THANK YOU. And...the Stinger. Quick match. Only slightly disappointing as there was too much feeling out in the beginning. I want more!

 

The rest will come after I watch Willem Dafoe, Harvey Keitel, and David Bowie recreate Christ's last days.

[Rawknight 0]

Va'aiga vs. JJ: Not gonna lie, I knew this was Voenguh's match because he and Dace are the only ones who still rock the script-style commentary. Anyway, I'm not really sure I understand the concept of this match. A normal singles match with streamers? What's with all of this chain wrestling tonight, seriously. If I'd want to see anyone bludgeon his opponent with punches and power moves, it'd be Va'aiga. Come on, now. There we go! The Maoribomb. On concrete. That's awesome. Oh. Like the indy wrestling stance, I don't understand the "Dropped on my head 50 times STAND RIGHT BACK UP" I mean, how is that even possible?! I understand going for the Puro spirit...but still. LARGELY-DESCRIPTIVE LARIAT. THANK YOU. And...the Stinger. Quick match. Only slightly disappointing as there was too much feeling out in the beginning. I want more!

 

Sorry about the match being that short. Consider it ring rust. I was trying to go for the feel of a modern NOAH match, which is where the rampant no selling of everything comes in. I know a lot of people don't like that style of match (Mike) but i was going more for an accurate representation of the style than a match that made logical sense all over.

[Toxxic 0]

I don't like matches where big Japanese men chop each other, no-sell and scream, then chop back for half an hour, hold each other in a rear chinlock for five minutes to get their breath back, then drop each other on their heads before getting up and doing it again before everyone falls down exhausted after suitably masturbating their machismo.

 

Call me miserable, but I prefer entertainment. Give me the NOAH juniors any day.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

As for my match, Supes: I'm pretty sure that there's no way to transition/counter/reverse the moves the way I did (Though someone with any amount of knowledge would know better than I), which is why I wrote it that way. The exploding heads and Rob Scott/Dace weeping were supposed to help further that along, but I often don't explain things well in my matches.

 

lollerz

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

WC vs. Grendel: I still don't fully understand Grendel's gimmick, and there hasn't yet been a promo where someone rips his arms off, so I'll just continue to assume he's a ringer of some sort. Wildchild is lucky that he's a good writer, because I hate the "chain-wrestling into stalemate and applause" sequence in real life and in most fantasy matches, but I can excuse it because it's written so well.

To be perfectly honest, I hate it, too. I only put that sort of stuff into my matches when I'm reaching for ideas and, like I said before, I wasn't feeling this match at all... I knew how I wanted the finish to go and tried working backwards from there, which is the total opposite of how I usually write my matches (I almost never write with the actual finish in mind, and usually change my mind two or three times before I get to the end), and the whole time I was writing it, it felt too much like I was just throwing shit in there. I'm pretty sure that, if Grendel had shown, I would have lost.

 

I was starting to hope there would be a sideplot with WC's lethargy being due to drug use, but alas, there's some more high-risk offense and I'm saddened. Really nice finishing sequence to top off a really fun spotfest.

Drug use? Nah, man... Dub Cee gets his high performing for the crowd...

[Ace309 0]

SWF 13TH HOUR 2006 WORKRATE REPORT
by
TOM FLESHMUSSEN
of the
BURNING HAMMER TAPE REVIEW

Well, it was an interesting weekend. First off, I hopped on a train and traveled eight hours, from Buffalo to Troy, in order to go see an NWA Empire show being headlined by Johnny Puma. Puma's not bad, although he needs to lose that whole "macarena elbow" thing. Also, Justice's shameless ripoff of Bill Hearford really needs to go.

Anyway, when I got home, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the wife had filled the fridge with a growler of Honeoye Falls Double Dark Cream Porter. This whole growler thing is really making me a happy man, since it makes carrying gallons of beer so much easier than cans do. Good stuff, although really more of a dark ale than a porter per se. For my money, I still prefer the Sierra Nevada. Or Brooklyn Brewery's Black Chocolate Stout. Mmm. **** for flavor.

But I digress.

The SWF's 13th Hour pay-per-view was Sunday night, and thanks to a night off for the Oilers and their daddies, I got the chance to watch this one from start to finish.

~ Landon Maddix and Megan Skye gather the troops in the catering section. (Was that road agent Drew Kelk eating a fried fish wrap in the background? I had no idea he was Jewish.) They try to rally it up by accusing Toxxic - I mean, Michael Stephens - of all kinds of atrocities, but Landon's cried wolf so many times that it's hard to believe him OR the ho.

~ Then, Ben Hardy interviews Matthews, Matheson and Flesher. They don't appear to be taking the Dead Precedents seriously at all, or, for that matter, anything besides Matheson's World Cup pool. (My money's on Trinidad. Tobago's the weak link.)

~ Is that Tokyo X refereeing Jimmy the Doom and Austin Sly? My god, it is! He's up to his usual antics, forgetting to do the most basic things, and as a result, he wanders aimlessly through the match. This is the usual Jimmy the Doom match, where Sly and Jimmy bump like crazy and reverse submissions in ways that are new and exciting. The old-school Japanese fans, however, can't deal with that sort of thing, and so it looks like we lost a few guys in Happi coats. Nonetheless, an avalanche-style Jimmy Bomb gets the duke. ** for creative action.

~ Annnnnnnnnnd it looks like an invasion angle going down. Not a bad start, although I'll be interested to see where it's going.

~ It looks like Grendel's out here, despite clearly having eaten several Danish during Landon's speech. King gives us a primer on cruiserweight psychology, which is interesting, although there are some notable exceptions to his boiling-down of it. (Boiling of it down? This is the sort of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put!) This one opens up with a test of strength, logically enough (thanks to King explaining that cruisers aren't very strong). We go through an aerial reversal sequence, then a neutral wrestling reversal sequence before the wrestlers trade takedowns and finish off in the INDY APPLAUSE STANCE~! Wildchild knocks Grendel out but stays in himself, keeping his temper in check a little bit. After he gets back in, Grendel starts to take control with a strong wrestling attack, and then some strikes, but WC's just too fast for it. And that's pretty much the story - Wildchild keeps it toned down as they go move-for-move. It seems like he's holding back, but we're not quite sure why. Wildchild continues to use his speed, but still holds back - majistral for 2, and then Grendel gets a Danish - er, German suplex for 2, followed by two more suplexes that get near-falls. Wildchild tries to evade him, but he gets caught and jawjacked on the apron... hmm, is something wrong with him? He seems alright as he counters a baseball slide with a rana! Finally, he lets loose and takes the upper hand with a Bahama bomb, then a senton, and then an Andros Dive! That's what they're paying him to do. Split-legged moonsault gets 2, then Whiplash gets 2, and then a trio of legdrops almost gets 3! Grendel then reverses an Irish whip with a clothesline but collapses, feeling the effects of the match. Slow cover gets 2, and then a MAIN EVENT YAKUZA KICK~! gets 2 more. Seriously, does everyone use it now? WC and Grendel trade strikes, but Grendel gets another near-fall with a whip to the buckles. Grendel tries to keep his strikes solid, but WC catches him and hits a gamengiri for 2! He keeps his momentum, but Grendel counters a bodyblock into a powerslam for 2. Brainbuster, and Grendel goes to the well once too often with the lariat and eats chin music for his trouble. Double count-down, and Wildchild gets the cover, but only 2. They trade strikes again, with Wildchild evading him and going for the cross-body, but Grendel rolls through and pulls the tights ... only 2. Grendel once again whips Wildchild to the ropes... damn, you'd think he'd get it by now. Maybe the mask is cutting off his air supply. In any event, Wildchild counters a back body drop with an inside cradle, but only manages 2. WC takes charge with an elbowsmash, and then goes for a flying elbow, only to eat a Pillman dropkick counter. Ouch. Think he's got him? Grendel sure does, since he goes for Grendel's Curse... but WC rolls out of the way, then snags him with a surprise Wild Ride for 3! The kid's like Dallas Page with the Diamond Cutter - he can hit it from anywhere. Excellent showing, although a little sluggish at the beginning. ***.

~ Up next, Team MatFlesh takes on the Dead Precedents... and... unfortunately, the cable went out. (Jesus. It seems to happen every time Flesher's on my TV. I have the worst luck in the world.) Anyway, I hear this one was good, but probably not as good as the World Cup.

~ And here's a hardcore title match between Spike Jenkins and Sean Davis. Spike refuses to enter the cage early, in a magnificent heel move. He ends up coming in with a chair. He keeps trying to evade Davis, using a stick-and-move approach that doesn't prove terribly effective early on. Chairshot from Spike, and Davis plays possum as Spike leaves the cage to look for another weapon. Davis grabs him through the cage, slaps on a good old Brock Lock, and gets the submission. Spike must be legit injured for this one to go so quickly. It's almost like he didn't even show up. *. Davis is your new Hardcore Champion.

~ Mike Cross finds Akira Kaibatsu bruised and battered. He's got a concussion, probably, and he's too injured to compete. Joe Peters asks Cross to fill in, and Cross steps up! Good man.

~ JJ Johnson (with Michael Stephens) and Va'aiga (with Wildchild) are up next in a King's Road match. Mark Soapdish, who's actually Nick's eldest son, is reffing this one. Very standard King's Road-style match, with lots of no-selling and lots of hard-hitting action. Lariat and Va'aiga Stinger gets the win for the Maori Badass!

~ More to come. Unfortunately, Mrs. Fleshmussen brought out some more of the Honeoye Falls porter, and, well, you know how they get.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Meh – color me disappointed about the match that supposedly beat ours

 

Bruce & Wayne, Freemasons? Yeah talk about pulling stuff from a bodily orifice.

 

Way to nonsensically make Flesher & Grappler faces without them doing anything – what ”wrestling logic”?

 

That whole Peter North spiel? Seems that people like it, to me it just took away from the match and said ”look at us we don’t give a shit so we throw in some cock jokes”

 

Love how the commentators seem to be all about putting Tom & Grappler over for like 90% of the match.

 

Bruce is apparently an idiot – he applies a bear hug around the waist (which doesn’t ”suck the wind” out of the opponent btw. since you don’t have lungs down there.) whomever wrote that should be slapped around with a badger.

 

Blank gives a shit about Denmark in the world cup? Yes more ”I don’t really give a shit about the opponents so let’s make world cup references” lovely, way to write a match that doesn’t nothing for your opponents.

 

Bleh – 75% of it was a total ”paint by numbers” tag match that kinda stayed in the middle of the road with a flat ending and a bunch of jokes thrown in to really show how little respect there are for the opponents.

 

Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s the fact that I try to write matches that also put over my opponents and all, maybe that’s why I read this and go

 

”We lost to this?”

 

*Shakes head*

 

I’d comment on the rest, but I can’t be bothered.

[Toxxic 0]

Then if you really thought it was so bad, my suggestion would be you take it up with the marker. Flesher and Grappler (incidentally, two of the best writers we've ever had) are perfectly entitled to write an entire match of themselves slapping you about the face with a haddock if they want - however if that match wins, you should be questioning the marker.

 

Besides, Grappler's matches almost always contain stupidity of one sort or another. Just be grateful you weren't facing the Masked Man.

[Golgo 13 0]

Bruce is apparently an idiot – he applies a bear hug around the waist (which doesn’t ”suck the wind” out of the opponent btw. since you don’t have lungs down there.) whomever wrote that should be slapped around with a badger.

 

This?

 

Bruce then drags Tom to the center of the ring, stands shoulders-to-face with him, and, after shooting a glance at Matthews on the apron, drops to a knee, wrapping his arms around Flesher’s midsection and squeezing tightly with a bearhug!

 

If so, they got it right. The midsection covers the chest on down, basically the entire stomach area, and up high in that is the diaphragm, which is what regulates breathing.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

I don't like to disagree with my partner, but Mak would put over Flesher because they have a friendship and history, and King would put them over for more of the respect/history AND Flesher and Matthews are "classic heel" while Bruce (and Bloodshed as well) are more "hardcore/extreme heel").

 

I would say both announcers would definitely side with MatFlesh due to those reasons, though if they went TOO FAR, Francis would probably get a little uneasy, friendship or no friendship.

[Ace309 0]

Post snipped and rearranged to group complaints by gist.

 

Meh – color me disappointed about the match that supposedly beat ours

 

Bruce & Wayne, Freemasons? Yeah talk about pulling stuff from a bodily orifice.

 

That whole Peter North spiel? Seems that people like it, to me it just took away from the match and said ”look at us we don’t give a shit so we throw in some cock jokes”

 

Blank gives a shit about Denmark in the world cup? Yes more ”I don’t really give a shit about the opponents so let’s make world cup references” lovely, way to write a match that doesn’t nothing for your opponents.

 

Bleh – 75% of it was a total ”paint by numbers” tag match that kinda stayed in the middle of the road with a flat ending and a bunch of jokes thrown in to really show how little respect there are for the opponents.

 

Wow. Dude, never attribute to malice what can be equally explained by humor. We're just having fun with this, the Denmark reference was just a cute in-joke, and I don't see how any of it comes across as lack of respect for our opponents. Considering that it's a low-card tag match with no particular history to it, we were just trying to have fun and make it a decent read. It wouldn't cost your credibility even IF for some reason we had decided that the way to mock you would be to write a match where your team appeared strong but there was a jovial comedy-match atmosphere surrounding it, so take a deep breath and relax.

 

Way to nonsensically make Flesher & Grappler faces without them doing anything – what ”wrestling logic”?

 

Love how the commentators seem to be all about putting Tom & Grappler over for like 90% of the match.

 

Mak, of course, was Flesher's tag team partner; King, of course, was Flesher's mentor for his first year in the SWF. It'd be nonsensical to ignore that, particularly considering the lack of traction I got from anyone else when I tried to give Mak a reason to hate Flesher. Meanwhile, in Flesher and Matthews, we have a technical genius and an oldschool dude; in Blank and Bloodshed, we have a stereotypical redneck wrestling like a monster gaijin and a crazy guy. It's illogical to break down the face/heel lines any other way. EDIT FOR CLARITY: Add 'in Japan' to the end of that last sentence.

 

Bruce is apparently an idiot – he applies a bear hug around the waist (which doesn’t ”suck the wind” out of the opponent btw. since you don’t have lungs down there.) whomever wrote that should be slapped around with a badger.

 

I was aiming for the floating ribs on this one, actually, and not to be pedantic, but just above the navel is an incredibly painful place to be grabbed and squeezed for that reason. That's why a lot of the amateurs do their gutwrenches at the floating ribs.

Edited June 15, 2006 by Ace309

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Sweet, controversy.

 

I'll be perfectly honest. I don't read most of the shows posted here because a lot of it is the same match formula, with a serious tone. And for something like Toxxic/Kibigami or Wildchild/Ejiro, that's expected. But when it's a thrown-together match that has no history to it, who would seriously want to bother reading it unless it stood out?

 

I've always approached matches from the perspective of not only entertaining myself while writing (especially writing, hypothetically, an unstoppable head-dropping monster and a cruiserweight who can brawl and fly and go technical, too!), but also anyone who reads it. I want to throw in subtle things that you might have to read twice to get. I want to throw in obvious innuendo. It's just my writing style, and I guess it works, so I'm sticking to it.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Supes likes to throw in dick jokes. Why? Because you don't expect to see the word COCK while reading a fake pro-wrestling match.

 

 

Or maybe you do. I don't know.

[muzz 0]

Just joking. *thumbs up*