Things your pets do that drive you f'n insane.

[Damaramu 0]

Ok so when I lived with my parents we had 5 dogs. But they were all small dogs. So they weren't really able to mess things up.

 

Well I moved in with my gf and she already had a rottweiler. Well then we went and got a Boxer to be his companion because we had to leave him alone so much.

 

Well she's 2 so she likes to fuck everything I own up and then she gets him going and he assists in the mayhem. They constantly tear the trash up, or drag things off the table and eat them. The other day they ate my DVD remote!

And the Boxer is really nosey. She wants to know what we're doing at all times. I try to take a dump and she's outside the door scratching on it and whining. She follows me everywhere throughout the house and cocks her head and watches me do anything. It's weird when you have a pair of eyes watching you at all times.

 

And the rottweiler. He used to eat in the living room but we got tired of picking his food out of the carpet so we started moving his food bowl to the kitchen. Well he didn't like that so now when he wants to eat he'll pick the bowl up and carry it into the living room. And if he doesn't get it in the right spot he'll dump it over and walk off.

 

And then there's also the fact that he thinks he's a lap dog. I think all big dogs think that though.

 

But for all the complaints they're awesome dogs and I love having them.

 

What things do your animals do that make you want to ring their necks? Aside from the obvious pissing and shitting in the house.

[Guest DRH 502]

To answer your question...

 

well, you pretty much covered it.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I've had at least one kitty in the house since '99, so there's really nothing they do that upset me. Our two couches are scratched to shit, but they're cats -- what do you expect? The damage to my house would be much worse with three children than with my three cats, so Dessa, JJ and Max get a free pass. If I had to name one thing it'd be when JJ wants fed at 5 a.m. by scratching the bedroom closet, but a few squirts in the direction of the noise usually quiets things down. When he does get fed he'll overeat and throw up, but that's OK because Dessa now eats it so there's minimal cleanup.

[Guest Felonies!]

Nothing. My cats are perfect.

[C Dubya 04 0]

Well, my cat threw up all over my bed today. That's not acceptable.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Get over it.

[Guest Oblivious Heel]

I heard about this trick involving peanut butter and dogs. My dog no sold it.

 

That's not acceptable.

[NoCalMike 0]

My two cats (Oreo & Cooley) are pretty damn good cats. Cooley is an orange and white stripe tabby and Oreo is b&w. My only complaint is that sometimes Cooley gets a little rough with Oreo since he is naturally bigger. He doesn't do it on purpose and usually if Oreo gets too frustrated, Cooley senses it and treats him to a bathing afterwards to make sure no harm is done!!!

[Guest Felonies!]

"wants fed"?

[Vampiro69 0]

I always hated when the damn dog needed to go out to the bathroom in the middle of the winter when the temperature was below zero. Plus the damn dog would take his sweet time finishing up his business.

[the max 0]

The dog is a pain in the ass. Too many nights barking at chairs, the tv, etc.etc. because he's a fucking spaz. The idea of not pissing on the floor is still slowing sinking into his head. Asshole.

 

The girlfriend's cat is nice. He's not the scratchy type or the asshole type. He mostly lays around and bugs the dog. I like when he lays on my chair while the girlfriend and I are watching tv, which is surprising considering I hate cats.

[Guest Princess Leena]

Kitty puke. That's the only thing that annoys me. Well that and fur, but she can't control that.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

"I had a parrot, and the parrot talked, but it never said 'I'm hungry' so it died"

[MrRant 0]

I'm suprised that Dama didn't throw his pet through the TV nor throw a controller at it.

[Damaramu 0]

I threw two pillows at her after I discovered my poor DVD remote and found out that it would cost me 37 dollars.

Oh and when I found out about the cost of the new remote I was yelling about it and my gf told me to calm down. I slammed my drink down on the table to show I wasn't calming down. Unfortunately our table is made out of glass. You can fill the pieces in.

[MrRant 0]

It's like $10 for a universal remote dude.

[Guest Felonies!]

Never throw things at your pets. What's wrong with you. Well I know what's wrong with you, you have anger management issues, but leave the animals out of it.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Eh, if the aforementioned squirt bottle isn't nearby I throw a sock or shirt at JJ when he's scratching the closet door. He'll get over it.

[Richard 0]

shitting, pissing, spraying, puking, shedding, attacking each other, barking, bringing dead animals into the house, knocking shit over...etc...

[Damaramu 0]

My moms dog used to bring her dead gifts as a present. The dog couldn't understand why she didn't want that present.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Never throw things at your pets. What's wrong with you. Well I know what's wrong with you, you have anger management issues, but leave the animals out of it.

 

I flip rubber bands at my cat all the time because it goes apeshit when I do. Clever beast, though. It fetches bottle caps.

[CanadianChris 0]

My wife and I came up with a great rule before we got married -- no kids, no pets, no plants. I hate dogs, she's allergic to cats, and neither of us really want to be entrusted with the life of any living thing, so it works out great.

[gWIL 0]

I hate cats. My day owns a bunch of houses and is a landlord for them and whenever people have cats they stink about the house and the smell is near impossible to get out. Dogs aren't quite as bad.

[Guest Felonies!]

Never throw things at your pets. What's wrong with you. Well I know what's wrong with you, you have anger management issues, but leave the animals out of it.

 

I flip rubber bands at my cat all the time because it goes apeshit when I do. Clever beast, though. It fetches bottle caps.

My cats are obsessed with milk rings. You know those little safety-seal rings under the caps on jugs of milk? They go nuts for them. We have at least fifty of them hidden around the house. It's like a year-round Easter egg hunt.

[dubq 0]

Never throw things at your pets. What's wrong with you. Well I know what's wrong with you, you have anger management issues, but leave the animals out of it.

 

I flip rubber bands at my cat all the time because it goes apeshit when I do. Clever beast, though. It fetches bottle caps.

My cats are obsessed with milk rings. You know those little safety-seal rings under the caps on jugs of milk? They go nuts for them. We have at least fifty of them hidden around the house. It's like a year-round Easter egg hunt.

 

Two words: Laser Pen. My cat goes nuts for it, and as soon as I get bored of it and stop - he starts whining like there's no tomorrow.

[Vampiro69 0]

My wife and I came up with a great rule before we got married -- no kids, no pets, no plants. I hate dogs, she's allergic to cats, and neither of us really want to be entrusted with the life of any living thing, so it works out great.

 

Hope you never find out that the wife is preggers.

[Ace309 0]

"wants fed"?

Dropping the "to be" is a Pennsylvania/Rust Belt linguistic quirk. For a while, even the website for the Coudersport, PA-based Adelphia Cable gave a phone number for "If the cable needs buried." I've been seeing it a lot more over the past year or two, but I don't know whether that's because I just noticed it or if it's becoming more common.

 

Anyway, when my cat Sam tears across the room from corner to corner over and over, and then skids to a stop in the middle of the room, back up and tail twice its normal size. Drives me insane because I can't figure out why the fuck she does it.

 

Also, when she drops her catnip mice in the laundry basket.

[Guest Felonies!]

I love the regional linguistic idiosyncrasies of America, but "needs buried" makes you sound like a dumbshit.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Dropping the "to be" is a Pennsylvania/Rust Belt linguistic quirk.

Maybe in Western PA. We don't talk like retards over here in the east.

[Scroby 0]

I used to have a cat, who was fat with no tail, her name was Pampers. When she got hungry and we were sleeping, she'd go into a room with a open door, jump on someone and meow in someone's face until she woke someone up to feed her.

 

One time, my family was on vacation and I stayed at home to take care of the dog and cat. Pampers was hungry and decided to get me up to feed her. Her attempts failed and she got mad and bit my nose. I ended up feeding her.