Complete Raw spoilers

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

From PWI:

 

Video package of the Orton attack on Cena's dad opens RAW.

 

RAW opening match is the Intercontinental title match: Jeff Hardy v. Umaga. Umaga is on the top turnbuckle, Jeff hits him and he straddles the rope. Jeff gets the pin off of that and wins the title.

 

Vince tells Coach that his family can't hurt him because he has a better OFFENSE.

 

Carlito comes in with his hair cut! Vince tells him that his match against Triple H will be a handicap match in which he will tag with Umaga.

 

There was a pointless Santino and Maria segment.

 

William Regal is looking for John Cena and Melina comes up and tells him about "her night with Vince". Melina turns around and Stephanie is glaring at her. She turns the other way and Linda slaps her across the face.

Ron Simmons shows up and gives Melina the DAMN.

Santino and Maria come out to the ring. Santino insults the fans then talks crap to Ron Simmons. The Sandman's music hits...Santino tells Sandman that he's jealous because he makes love to Maria and Santdman makes love to his "stick". Sandman cracks Santino with the kendo stick then beats him all the way up the ramp with it.

 

Maria waits in the ring for her opponent. Beth Phoenix comes down and beats her in a minute with the Fisherman's suplex. Beth gets a mic and tells Candice that she's cashing in her title shot am Unforgiven. She then gives Maria another suplex and Candice runs out for the save. After a stare down Beth walks out of the ring and up the ramp.

 

They show close ups of John Cena's dad's bruised face.

 

Yay, it's Grisham with the dumb sign crap...

 

William Regal comes to the ring and says that Randy Orton was told last week to show Vince McMahon that he deserved the title shot and unfortunately for the Cena family, he did just that. They showed a video package of the attack. Regal says that he gave Orton the night off, but he's here via satellite. He says that what happened was Cena's fault because he denied him a rematch. Regal announces that he gets the rematch at Unforgiven.

 

Orton says that he hopes that Cena's dad never forgives Cena for it. Cena walks out with no music or video and Regal says that he's just doing his job. Cena attacks Regal and beats him out of the ring and across the announce table. STFU on the floor broken up by the refs running from the back.

 

Lance Cade and Murdoch come to the ring and sit at the announce table. World's Greatest Tag Team v. London and Kendrick to determine the title contenders for Unforgiven. Note that Cade and Murdoch don't have their hats, so maybe some explanation is being made for Cryme Tyme being gone. Sliced Bread #2 and Kendrick gets the 3 count on Haas. Cade and Murdoch get in the ring with London & Kendrick and applaud them and shake their hands. Wow, this looks familiar...

 

Regal is getting checked by paramedics. Shane McMahon walks by, looks at him and keeps walking.

 

They aired a really good CM Punk video package.

 

They show Umaga and Carlito in the locker room. Carlito says that Triple H was laughing at Umaga for losing the title.

 

Vince confirms with his lawyers that his family can't get at his accounts. He tells Coach that he will take over for Regal as Commissioner. Vince fires a lawyer for suggesting that he settle with the mother of his son, as that is a "defensive strategy". He tells the other two that he's out for blood.

 

Jillian Hall and Daivari come out. Jillian talks crap to Lillian Garcia. She says that she had her wisdom teeth removed, but she and Daivari sing and dance anyway. Cody Rhodes (in black trunks!) and Mickie James interrupt and the match starts. Daivari singing in Farsi was kind of funny in a weird way...Cody pins Daivari after a nice DDT.

 

Melina comes to the ring in a little black lace dress. Kiss cam segement.

 

They aired a replay of Carlito's Cabana segment with Triple H and Vince.

 

Triple H comes out for the handicap match to biggest pop of the night. Carlito comes out then Umaga. Umaga is disqualified for entering the ring without tagging and double teaming HHH. The beat down continues. Umaga hits a big splash from the top rope. Carlito holds a chair in front of HHH in the corner, but he moves and Umaga rams into it. Triple H beats Carlito with the chair to the outside then gives Umaga multiple chair shots to the head, as he won't go down. Umaga finally goes to one knee and Triple H gets the sledgehammer and gives Umaga a few shots. Carlito retreats up the ramp and Umaga is rolled away on a stretcher. I can't help but speculate!

 

The ring cover with Umaga's blood on it is removed.

 

They aired a video package about going back to Iraq this year.

 

Vince, Coach and the two attorneys come to the ring. Vince says that the family is here for one thing... "the MONEY!" Linda comes to the ring and says that she has plenty of her own money and doesn't need his. But, she can take him for everything due to the illegitimate son thing. Vince says that he had many lonely nights on the road and his kids would understand.

 

Enter Stephanie.

 

Vince shows a video that he made of the life of daddy's girl. They play a video of Vince beating down Steph instead. Vince is angry. HHH on video says he didn't play it. Steph says Vince needs help and should step down as Chairman.

 

Enter MY SON, SHANE!

 

Shane says there are two Vinces, the good and the bad. He says that Vince needs help, but he has to change himself. Vince says that none of the affairs happened and he lied to build his own ego and only cheated once. With the mother of his son. He kneels to his family and vows to be better.

 

Kennedy comes to the ring. Ken points out the last name thing and the Green Bay location as where Vince plans to reveal the mystery. He says that he is Vince's son. Steph says that he's not Vince's son. Ken says that Vince's lunacy inspired him and that unlike his family, he won't judge Vince. Ken does his Kennedy thing on the mic and adds MCMAHON to it!

 

Then, a representative for the suing mother comes out and says that Ken is not Vince's son but he can't reveal who is until next week. The horrible actor then says that he can give a clue, "Things are looking up".

 

RAW ends and Vince makes Ken a match for lying to him. It will be against John Cena.

 

Dark Match: John Cena vs. Ken Kennedy. Of course. Cena wins with the FU.

[Ravenbomb 0]

What's with all the weird hair stuff lately? Carlito's is cut, Shelton's is blonde, Santino's hair still looks weird, it's like back in 2000 when a lot of people were getting their hair cut short.

[Hawk 34 0]

Ok. Carlito's hair got fired too? Oh, great. Umaga, just to prove a point, will job to 2 of the top three faces.

[Thanks for the Fish 0]

Nah, HHH is back and he is the only wrestler who can have long hair...

 

I keed, I keed (sorta).

 

Is Carlito's hair just trimmed shorter but still in a 'fro, or is it really short/buzzed? I have a feeling his overness was in his Sideshow Bob hair. He's going to be another Felicity...

[AlaskanHero 0]

Personally, I can't take Carlito seriously with his hair in a fro like it is. Maybe if he had it braided in cornrows.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Hair testing can trace anywhere from 3 to 20 times the length of a usual drug's half-life in the body.

 

Cutting it short can help eliminate the samples.

 

A lot of people were speculating this is why Britney Spears shaved her head, with K-Fed requesting she be drug tested during their court battles.

 

Example: Marijuana and THC's half-life in the body is 14-30 days, depending on weight, lifestyle, type of marijuana, etc. Hair testing can detect marijuana up to 90 days.

[Prophet of Mike Zagurski 0]

Couldn't the company blood test the wrestlers?

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

That would imply they are actually trying to incriminate the wrestlers. At least urine/blood makes it look like they're trying to the public. Urine/blood can easily be faked.

 

I suspect Carlito got a letter to report back with a urinalysis/hair result within 48 hours from a local testing facility, and was advised to trim the hair. That or he voluntarily sacrificed his whole look to save what is arguably his biggest program (Triple H) in his career.

[Thanks for the Fish 0]

[LJSexay 0]

as of right now, I don't know which haircut is better.

 

So far... there sure is quite a few repeated appearances by a few people...

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

Carlito can use the money he saves on hair products to buy a better quality of marijuana.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Based on the look of that haircut, I think my theory holds a ton of water.

[Thanks for the Fish 0]

They couldn't have Hardy(or anybody else who could use the rub) take out Umaga, instead they have HHH destroy him with a chair and sledgehammer to have him bleed like a stuck pig and stretcher him out. At least Cena taking out Regal made certain storyline sense...

 

Show actually sounds pretty good, though the biggest draw for me is to see Carlito's haircut...

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

At least Hunter taking out Umaga in a strong angle should give him a big shot in the arm. I don't think his match with Booker did a damn thing to pique interest in him.

[Thanks for the Fish 0]

Based on the look of that haircut, I think my theory holds a ton of water.

 

I agree - because you have to believe that a "Hair vs whatever" match would have made certain sense if they had time to play with.

 

At least Hunter taking out Umaga in a strong angle should give him a big shot in the arm. I don't think his match with Booker did a damn thing to pique interest in him.

 

It keeps Umaga strong as well being that HHH took him out as opposed to a lesser wrestler.

 

Is Vince actually pissed at all of these wrestlers and is burying them?? He had to know they were all juiced up - So are they punished for being stupid and getting caught? Is Regal done as GM even in a month's time?

 

[JN News 0]

I'm gonna be interested in seeing what will happen in the McMahon Family segment.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Based on the look of that haircut, I think my theory holds a ton of water.

 

Are you sure that's a recent picture? It looks like from when he was in that Puerto Rican fed or something.

[Thanks for the Fish 0]

Are you sure that's a recent picture? It looks like from when he was in that Puerto Rican fed or something.

 

It is an older PR pic from OWW, the pic is only a few years old and Carlito hasn't changed that much in 3-4 years, other than bulking up...

[Scroby 0]

well there goes his gimmick...and his job.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

At least Hunter taking out Umaga in a strong angle should give him a big shot in the arm. I don't think his match with Booker did a damn thing to pique interest in him.

 

It keeps Umaga strong as well being that HHH took him out as opposed to a lesser wrestler.

 

 

Well yeah considering it took multiple chair shots which only sent Umaga down to one knee and a few sledgehammer shots to knock him out. Usually wrestlers sell one sledgehammer shot like death.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Carlito dropping the hair in a Hair Match would've been an attractive undercard PPV draw.

 

What an interesting predicament this haircut must have been:

 

I can save my job/avoid suspension by cutting my hair.

But by cutting my hair I will get major heat with the office and get back on the shitlist.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Will this Raw go down in history as the equivalent to the NFL's famous "House of Pain"/"Bodybag" games?

[Hawk 34 0]

They really should have just shot a Hair Match stipulation with Carlito and HHH for tonight.

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

Full spoilers now up. Kennedy not the son, but we'll find out who it is next week, apparently. If Kennedy is getting suspended, he's getting a stay of execution.

[Hawk 34 0]

"Things are looking up"=Sabu!, actually, it probably just means Mysterio is the kid, since ya know, he's short. Also, he got the roid love from Vince.

[strummer 0]

HTQ,can you make anything of the "Things are looking up" clue as to who's the son?

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

"Things are looking up"=Sabu!, actually, it probably just means someone tall is the son. Actually, it means nothing.

 

What I was thinking. I wouldn't actually be surprised if since a lot of the suspended guys are on the Raw brand, they make the son Batista, and they re-do the Batista/HHH series with the roles reversed. Since they will move towards Taker/Khali soon and then Edge/Taker afterwards.

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

HTQ,can you make anything of the "Things are looking up" clue as to who's the son?

If I had to guess, I'd say Khali, simply because Vince always goes to the big guys when he panics. And they don't come much bigger than Khali.

[UZI Suicide 0]

Then, a representative for the suing mother comes out and says that Ken is not Vince's son but he can't reveal who is until next week. The horrible actor then says that he can give a clue, "Things are looking up".

 

I think Vince's son is going to be Jesus Christ, meaning Vince McMahon is in fact God.

 

I'm totally serious. I think this will happen.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

An attorney stating he can "give you a clue" is so hokey that I love it.

 

While on the subject, Stephanie's appearence last week gave me a raging clue. Damn, girl! tm Black Lushus.

 

Shawn Michaels is the son. He looks up to the heavens during every entrance. Expect wacky DX HIJINX.