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Jorge Gorgeous

The NFL All-Time Draft.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

Also, Tank Younger is available again due to a contractual misunderstanding.

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With my next selection, I take:

 

 

post-2806-1219029650_thumb.jpg

 

 

Mark Moseley/K

 

 

2 Time Pro Bowler

2 Time All Pro

 

1982 NFL MVP!

 

 

Anytime I can bring up that a kicker won the MVP for a season, I feel like its a duty as a football fan.

 

 

 

 

 

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

See, this is why I'm saying CHECK YOUR ROSTERS TO MAKE SURE I DIDN'T FUCK UP

 

Harley and Smartly Pretty are both fixed.

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Guest Vitamin X

Lou Groza is a guard and backup DT as well as the kicker for my squad. I went ahead and fixed it.

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Time has expired, so I will pick my final skill player. Not like Gert T would have picked this position anyways.

 

120304-retzlaff.jpg

 

TE Pete Retzlaff

 

7412 Yards

47 TDs

 

5-time Pro Bowler & 1-time first-team All-Pro

#44 Retired by the Eagles

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Gotta run, everybody keep making their picks, I am the only person without a Center and I believe Tzar and I are going in different directions at QB.

 

 

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Eight hours is up, not that I'm in a hurry to pick kickers and punters.

 

001045144.jpg

 

Garo Yepremian, Kicker

Detroit Lions 1966-1967

Miami Dolphins 1968-1978

New Orleans Saints 1979

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1980-1981

 

Better at kicking than passing.

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With Randle-El (the holder) and this man, every FG attempt will be must-watch. Gadget plays, baby!

 

nfl_a_blanda_412.jpg1123_large.jpg

 

Quarterback/Kicker, George Blanda

 

6'2", 215 lbs.

HOF Inductee - 1981

4 Pro Bowls ('61, '62, '63 and '67)

7 All-Pro selections ('61, '62, '63, '66, '67, '70 and '73)

1963 AFL MVP

 

Not a great FG kicker (I think just over 50%), but he was exceptionally better after he chose kicking as his primary position (65-70% average), so he is serviceable enough with good field position. The x-factor is obviously what he could do wire-to-wire in a game; there are various instances where he threw the game-tying TD pass, kicked the PAT to actually tie it, then kick a FG to win the game. I just had to get some of these records he holds from wikipedia:

 

--Passing TD's in a game: 7 (tied)

--Most seasons played: 26 (1949-58, 1960-75)

--Only player to play in 4 different decades; (40s, 50s, 60s, 70s)

--Most PATs made (943) and attempted (959)

--Oldest person to play in an NFL game: 48 years, 110 days

--First player ever to score over 2,000 points (finished with 2,002 points)

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Guest Tzar Lysergic
Gotta run, everybody keep making their picks, I am the only person without a Center and I believe Tzar and I are going in different directions at QB.

 

Believe? We discussed it. You're the only guy in the thing who isn't going to say "Are you fuckin' kidding me?" when I name my QB.

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Yeah, I just didn't want to spill that I know. Not that it'll be a secret much longer:

 

With my 25th round selection. I take:

 

 

 

 

post-2806-1219152551.jpg

 

 

Ray Donaldson/C

 

 

6 Time Pro Bowler

 

228 Games Started; #2 All Time for Centers

 

 

Basically it was between Ray and Bulldog Turner. I like Bulldog Turner, but Ray is 6'6, and 311 lbs. And he wasn't exactly a slouch in his "dominated an era at his position. Clearly behind Webster, Hillgenberg and Dawson, but thats about it.

 

 

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Gotta run, everybody keep making their picks, I am the only person without a Center and I believe Tzar and I are going in different directions at QB.

 

Believe? We discussed it. You're the only guy in the thing who isn't going to say "Are you fuckin' kidding me?" when I name my QB.

Rex Grossman?

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

I would select Rex Grossman over one other QB in the history of the NFL, and that's Jon Quinn. Oh how I hate Jon Quinn.

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Guest

Corey Simon can be my fat slob at defensive tackle.

 

Pro Bowl selection (2003)

 

I got real lazy with that pick.

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Broward's late, like always. JustJohn can pick at any time.

 

Ouch.

 

I'll take Pac-Man Jones... which I think just leaves me with a defender since I took Matt Turk as my punter

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coach_johnson.jpg

 

Jimmy Johnson - Coach

 

2x Super Bowl Champ

1x NCAA champ

One of only two coaches to win championships in college and the pros

89-68 pro record

 

This was a tough pick, because there were a couple other coaches I liked (at least one will probably get snubbed in this thing), but "The Wave" is the best fit for my team. My offense is similar to his 90's Cowboys team he built from the ground up... Deadly accurate pocket QB, massive O-line (with two of his own guys here) for power running, dynamic TE, combo of big physical and smaller speedy receivers... It's a pretty damn good fit, plus the defense is a 4-3, with Zach Thomas in the middle who Johnson picked up during his stint in Miami. Personnel wise and stylistically, there isn't a much better choice for my team.

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Guest Vitamin X
Broward's late, like always. JustJohn can pick at any time.

 

Wait, what? It's my turn, you fuck. Not like I was going to take Jimmy Johnson, anyways.

 

Since my team is nice and rounded out, I'd figure I'd bulk up the offensive line a bit more.

 

370131404_dd7be76639_m.jpg

OG Howard Mudd

Height: 6-2 Weight: 254 lbs.

3x Pro Bowl selection (1966, 1967, 1968)

2x All-Pro selection (1967, 1968)

1x Super Bowl champion (XLI)

NFL 1960s All-Decade Team

 

Mudd's better known now as the offensive line coach for the Indianapolis Colts, so he can also double as something of a mentor to the line and boosts its awareness quite a bit. He was also not a bad player himself back in the 60s for the Niners, and he's a bit bigger than Groza, who's better off being a backup on this team at DT and on the OL.

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I have two picks left, and need a punter and a kicker. Logic dictates I get one of those players, but fuck that, I pick...

 

keyshawn06_lg-01.jpg

 

Keyshawn Johnson, WR

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Alright, time has passed so I'll go ahead and pick now.

 

gints.jpg

 

Jeff Feagles

 

Pro Bowl selection (1995)

Super Bowl champion (XLII) (Fun Fact: He was also on Miami's 1987 national championship squad)

NFL records:

Most consecutive games played, career: 320 (streak still active) (OK, so he's not a position player but still...)

Most punts, career: 1,585

Most punts inside the 20, career: 508

Most punting yards, career: 65,793

 

Quite possibly the greatest directional punter ever, Feagles is a perfect fit for my team. Two things that I want to control are the clock and field position. Feagles has mastered the art of the coffin corner kick and will pin opponents back inside the 20, 10, even 5-yard line and make them deal with my defense deep in their own territory. Like Stover, Feagles doesn't have a huge leg, but he can boom them when he has to.

 

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

So, I need a WR, right? Nah..

 

hof-hewitt.jpg

 

End: Bill Hewitt

 

This offense is going to be tailored to the days when there were no wideouts. Break some bones in the pile.

 

Bill Hewitt was the last man in the NFL to wear a helmet, which he only did because the NFL mandated it in 1939. He also played 50-60 minutes of smash mouth football every season without any protective gear to really speak of. His worst injury? A broken ankle in college.

 

Hewitt invented the hitch-and-pitch in the 1933 NFL Championship against the New York Giants. Trailing by five, Nagurski faked a run to the line, threw to Hewitt, who lateralled the ball to another player who tore ass down the sideline to win the game for the Bears. Hewitt thought it up in the huddle immediately before trying it.

 

Oh, he was also a monstrosity on defense, nicknamed "The Offside Kid" for his unreal instinct at anticipating the snap. In 1933, he unofficially dropped opposing offensive players for 300 negative yards. That's insane penetration.

 

He's going to rotate in with the defense from hell along with the middle three guys on my line.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic
Broward's late, like always. JustJohn can pick at any time.

 

Ouch.

 

I'll take Pac-Man Jones... which I think just leaves me with a defender since I took Matt Turk as my punter

 

Nothing personal, just seemed like you've been late the last 20 picks.

 

Fixed Turk on your roster.

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