2009 TSM Poster Tournament: The Round of 16

[Guest Vitamin X]

Aren't you both Packers fans? Or Lakers fans? (I could remember which if I were sober. Ok that'a a lie. But I wouldn't lie if I were sober!)

 

Edit: Because I swear both of you liked one of them. Or both. If you don't share any common teams then I dunno why the fuck I always confused/confuse you two. Again, I point to my other examples of confusing people to show it doesn't take valid reasons for my brain to fuck up.

 

Nope. He's a Raiders fan, I'm a Packers fan. He's a Laker fan, I'm a Blazers fan. He's a Dodger fan, I'm a Rockies fan.

 

I did USE to be a Lakers fan, but that was years ago. So maybe that's where you're getting your confusion from, but not if you've posted or been in any NBA thread for oh, the past 2-3 years or so.

[Guest Smues]

It must have been the Lakers. I've been in NBA threads in the past 2-3 years (shortbus!) but my brain kind of sucks. So it registered Lakers from the beginning. Or something. I don't know, there's no logical reason why I confuse the two of you. Smues = not logical. So, Alaskan = not logical? Maybe logic freezes at some point.

[Copper Feel 0]

Incandenza - When he's actually posting he's still really exciting.

Cheech - I do like Slayer, but Cheech has given me endless encouragement w/r/t my rise to the top.

 

Kinetic - Go on Kinetic. Take it all.

Edwin - Mellow seems like a candid fellow judging by the TSM chatroom, but I can't remember anything he's ever posted.

 

KOAB - Even awful KOAB posts just add to the schtick.

Agent of Oblivion - Did great things in the music folder. Kamala forgot to vote for me against CG, so I'm getting some sweet revenge.

 

S.J. Kreese - The tie post and 'Speaking of unwanted penises' are all that I can remember of Treble's. Not that they weren't great, but he just doesn't have the quantity of posts.

Vitamin X - May have hurt my feelings, but if he were to support a football team I'm sure they'd be southern.

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

Venk

Slayer

 

Kinetic

Mellow

 

KOAB

Kamala

 

SJK

909

[The Niggardly King 0]

Incandenza -

Cheech - Hard pick here, but I really like Cheech and I don't think I've picked him yet.

 

Kinetic - He's Goldberg'n niggas this year.

Edwin - Sorry mellow, but it's Edwin.

 

KOAB -

Agent - Sorry, Kamala... but I gotta score to settle when Agent knocked me out in the first round a few years ago.

 

Treble - Unwanted penises and wearing ties.

Vitamin X - It's good to find another dude here who likes to cook.

 

 

[Matt Young 0]

All the choices are simple or ones I don't give a fuck about, except for VX vs. 909. I'm going to need to deeply meditate and pray to Pan, the goat god (that's who I worship in 2009) in order to make the proper decision on that one.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Incandenza

Slayer

 

Kinetic

Edwin

 

KOAB

Agent

 

Kreese

VX

 

A couple tough calls, but I think these would be the best possible battles in the next round.

 

I'm not sure I know enough about Kamala to combat the fellow. I know he enjoys solid rock radio hits of the 90s, lives in Maine, and apparently is very active in the wrestling part of the board. This is quite different from me, so I can't fault those that vote for him, but those that do should keep in mind that it would deprive everyone of the wild drunken brawl between KOAB and myself next round. That's a clash of big ogre motherfuckers smashin' faces and kickin' dicks.

 

I sincerely hope my vote for Edwin doesn't cause Mellow's broken (literally) heart to fall to pieces.

 

Everyone else is just a who's-who of my favorite board people.

[Twisted Intestine 0]

Dr. Venkman

Slayer

 

Candadian Chris

Mellow

 

Koab

Agent of Oblivion

 

Treble

Vitamin X

[Mik 0]

Inc

Cheech

Kinetic

Edwin

KOAB

Agent

Treble

909

[Guest Czecherbear]

When did Matt Young join America's cultural elite?

[The Truthiness 0]

Venk

Slayer

 

Kinetic

Mellow

 

KOAB

King Kamala

 

 

Treble

909

[Burning Pirate Ship Sex 0]

Boo urns.

 

For the record, I've decided if I can't make it past the third round again, I will leave TSM indefinitely. So vote early and vote often if you appreciate my efforts in reshaping General Wrestling, affirming Czech's Guster fandom, and being all around swell guy.

 

Sorry Kamala. I like you, really. You've done a lot to better the top half of the board. But, Agent's the TSM Stalin, in his appearance, demeanor, and especially his ability to galvanize the proletariat. If history has taught us one thing, it is that you don't mess with Stalin.

[Guest]

Vitamin X: well, this is the battle of mods who I'm pretty sure don't like the job I do as admin.

That ain't true!

 

But outside mod stuff, I like VX's domination of the food folder over "Anze scored the winner. Soon we will move to 9th place. And then we will make the playoffs. And then we will win."

But this is!

[Guest]

1. Venkman- I wanted him to be wrestling mod, so it goes without saying that I like him a lot.

3. Slayer- He miiight vote for me. Cheech and VX have a Portland connection which is too strong. Cheech is great, but hopefully he doesn't show up.

 

5. CanadianChris- Kinetic's not voting for me.

2. Mellow- Strategic voting here. If Mellow wins this round, perhaps he will vote for me later.

 

13. Smues

6. Agent

 

4. Treble- toughest one.

7. Myself.

 

[fazzle 0]

Venk

Slayer

 

Kinetic

Edwin

 

Smues

Agent

 

Kreese

VX

[King Kamala 0]

Ya know what- I'm not going to leave the board if I lose (which is looking likely). It was all going to be a setup for me coming back immediately for either A. The indefinite period of me leaving a board being a couple hours or B. Me coming back under an assumed name, posting exactly as I usually do but denying that I'm me. I've got the ability to recognize when an idea for a gimmick poster isn't good before I do it unlike some TSM posters and that's why I think you should vote for me!

 

Besides I couldn't leave for long, I'm running another roundtable next week for the General Wrestling folder!

[Guest Czecherbear]

Cut the histrionics, the lot of you. Only I have an excuse to take a break from the board after this is over. Do you have to mutter "Mellow Edwin Bored Fazzle" to yourself thirty-five times as you flip back and forth between programs?

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Venkman

Slayer

 

Kinetic

Edwin

 

Smues

Agent

 

Treble

Vitamin X- this was a hard one, I flipped a coin.

[jwest27 0]

Venk Man

Cheech

 

Kinetic

Edwin

 

KOAB

Agent

 

Kreese

VX

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

2008 Venkman Fact: I came up with the Overseas and Independents sub-title ("Little. Yellow. Different") while watching Wayne's World during a Maff Chat. That's worth a chuckle or two, right? I'm sure Inc did something to make y'all laugh in 2003, but this is POTY 2009. On a mountain of skulls, in a castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood! What was will be! What is will be no more! Now is the season of evil!

 

Keep the votes coming, people.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

So, I've just returned from a week long hiatus south of the border. It was really sad for me to miss the majority of this tourney (my favorite part of the year), but that's the reality of adulthood sometimes. You should have seen the look of contempt on Mrs. Tremendous' face as I attempted to log on to TSM from my Blackberry in rural fucking Mexico. Boarding hard, right?

 

I appreciate those who have pushed me through this far. Brooklyn Zoo and Byron are both tremendous posters (pun intended?) and I would have felt fine losing to either. But now I get Slayer... shit. Fun while it lasted, I guess.

 

Anyways, enough blabbering. On with my votes.

 

Venkman - At this point, we are left with good posters, but this was an easy call for me. No slight to Inc, but Venk and I have been tight for a long time now. I love what he's done with the upper half of the board, picking up the shattered pieces Dandy and I left behind. He even made me stay away from the "WWE Folder Sucks Dick" thread.

 

Cheech - Honestly, Slayer's better than me. I can admit that. But hey, I do have a policy of shying away from those who have won before and I shouldn't stray from that policy just because I'm involved. I also haven't gotten to enjoy the novelty of making it this far.

 

Kinetic - CC is solid all around the board and I especially love his stuff in Sports. But this is Kinetic's year and we are all just witnesses. I can barely make it though a Kinetic post without laughing or smirking and there are few posters who I can say that about.

 

Mellow - I just loved what Mellows did this year. Go back 12 months and I might not have had a single opinion about him, but he was just everywhere this year. The turtle kid avatar was great.

 

KOAB- Tough call, but I KOAB has sort of won my heart the last few months. I'll admit that at one time I found his schtick a little tiring, but now I find it endearing.

 

Kamala - Not a slight to Agent here, but Kamala's my boy. He makes the General Wrestling folder worth reading and that's saying a fucking lot given my feelings about wrestling these days.

 

Treble- Another one where I could have gone either way depending on how I felt at the time. I gave Treble the tiebreaker because of the tie comment, which is now a part of board lore.

 

VX- Wow, these are like two of my top five right here. Both great guys, but VX is just a wonderful poster and I have so much in common with him. Plus, we have that whole P-town connection. I'd love to see him win the damn thing.

[Slayer 0]

Venk - Starting right away with a tough one. Inc's been a long-time favorite of mine, but he probably doesn't care about this tourney, and Venk intrigues me with the prospect of a rematch from a couple years ago.

Me - The easiest vote this round! Cheech is good in the sports folder, but I'm still me, and I want to see how far I can take this until I get buried with anti-repeat votes, much like Kinetic buries his posts with words.

 

Kinetic - CanuckChris is generally good for a combo of humor and insight, but Kinetic has been strong all year long. Of course, then I realize I'm wavering back and forth between voting for "ability" and voting for guys I like and my integrity drops like Brody's erections.

Edwin - Mellow has been coming along fairly well this year, although I'll never understand his (and the internets') fascination with Zombie Turtle kid, but Edwin is another consistently strong poster in the same vein as Kinetic. If they meet in the next round, that's a tough call.

 

Smues - Koh-ab is another good friend and poster alike, but since he seems to have this one in the bag and Smues has been good in voting for me, so here's a quid pro quo

Agent - Fellow metalhead and Zappa-phile wins this one

 

Treb - Though he's not as awesome as me

VX - Oh man, real tough one here... which faux Mexican do I pick? I had to give the edge to Leo since he saw fit to come ask for my help with his econ homework

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Venk

Cheech

 

Kinetic

Edwin

 

KOAB

Agent

 

Treble

VX

[Dandy 0]

Dial-up sucks, but thankfully I was able to hit "X" before LOTC's sig tried to load.

 

Venkman - It took a yeoman effort to squeak by me in the second round, and that deserves a vote.

Slayer - Cheech is mi amigo, but I have enjoyed Slayer's posts for a long time. Closest call of the round by far.

 

Kinetic - A type of energy, and a type of favorite to win a poster tournament.

Edwin - He had a bad post back in '86, and he has been making up for it ever since.

 

Smues - Sorry, COE-ab, but Smues needs my vote.

Kamala - I agree with Venk about the ultimatum, but my buddy Kentucky Kamala Chicken edges out the Tzar.

 

treble - I'm not voting him in solely on the "Tie Post," as he usually brings the funny lines.

Vitamin X - Easy choice for me.

 

[BUTT 0]

Inc

Slayer

Kinetic

Edwin

KOAB

Agent

Me

VX

 

[Bored 0]

Aww I lost by the smallest margin in the 2nd Round. MORAL VICTORY~!

 

Incadenza

Slayer

CC

Edwin

Smues

Agent

treble

VX

[treble 0]

Venkman

Slayer

 

Kinetic

Edwin

 

KOAB

Agent

 

treble

VX

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

Vitamin X: well, this is the battle of mods who I'm pretty sure don't like the job I do as admin.

That ain't true!

 

Yeah, that was last round!

[JaMarcus Russell's #1 Caucasian Fan 0]

Venkman

Slayer

 

Chris

Edwin

 

KOAB

Agent

 

Treble

VX

[Maztinho 0]

Dan-Will

 

Venk- Sure he’s self shillin’ but if I had any semblance of notoriety around here, I would to.

Cheech- Nothing against Slayer, but Cheech has “it” whatever “it” is that makes me pick him.

 

Sco-Ke

 

Kinetic- Often makes me spit soda while scanning the TSM.

Mellow- The Jeff Hornaceck or John Stockton of posting for me, sure, I can’t be a great poster, but here’s a guy I can somewhat relate to who is.

 

Ste-Pop

 

KOAB- I read it Ko-Ahb.

Agent- Tough pick, because I generally like Kamala, but Agent is a force of nature. Like one of the bad ones like a fucking mudslide, or a fire tornado.

 

MikeMc

 

Sensei- I almost voted treble, who beat the guy who beat me, but then I remembered to sweep the leg.

Vit X- Tough call, as at one point I too confused these two just like Smueser did, and I generally like both of them, but Vit’s cooking along with my natural hatred for all things Lakers gets the push here.