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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Entries in this blog

 

Night of the Creeps (Day 1)

31 Days of the Dead starts...now.     01.) Night of the Creeps (1986)  Plot: Alien space worms enter people through their mouths (insert penis joke here), turning them into malicious zombies. Can Det. Ray Cameron (Tom Atkins) save the day?   Review: If you love 80's horror, you've most likely seen this. It's not on DVD yet (legal problems apparently) , which is a shame, as it's a 80's horror classic.   So, what makes it work? Well, for one thing, the one liners (especially the "The good news" quote seen in the tagline. The acting is good for the large part, especially Atkins, who has a ball with the character he plays. The movie also has some (rather obvious) references to older B-Movies ("Plan 9 From Outer Space" for example) and noted directors, but it never hurts the movie.   Director Fred Dekker went on to make The Monster Squad, which is on DVD. While that's great, it would be even better if this one was as well.   Final Verdict: 9/10. A nearly perfect B-Movie classic that every horror fan should see.   Tomorrows movie: Resident Evil: Extinction.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

31 Days of the Dead

July starts tomorrow, and I've decided to do something new for this Blog for the month: 31 Days of the Dead.   What's that? Well, in short, it's a review of a Zombie Movie each day. Here's the thing though: For the large part, I'm going to be avoiding the usual suspects, such as Romero, "Shaun of the Dead", Fulci, and the "Return of the Living Dead" series. Ok, you will get one "Resident Evil" movie reviewed. Why am I avoiding the "usual suspects"? Because, while I do love most of the usual suspects, I really can't say anything else about them that hasn't been said already. This is more for less talked about movies such as "Night of the Creeps", "The Dead Pit", "The Living Dead at the Manchester Morgue", "Horror Rises from the Tomb", and others.   Hope you like it, and remember, feedback and comments are always appreciated.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

2008 so far

We're about halfway done, so here's a look at the year so far.   -Heath Ledger died, and TSM was struck by the "Serial Pillist." Also, people are already raving about "The Dark Knight", even though it hasn't come out yet.   -Marvin got progressivley worse, reaching levels not reached since the reign of wildpegasus, and Deon got stupider. Both made it to the finals of the "worst TSM poster" tournament. I still hate them both. Amazingly, Marvin seems aware that he sucks and annoys people, while Deon is oblivious to it. Deon bumped a Jay-Z/Linkin Park thread, not realizing everyone with functioning braincells hates Linkin Park, and Marvin loves Glenn Beck, 3 Doors Down, and Staind.   -The Campaign 2008 Thread became horrible, with Marvin trolling the thread, Jerk arguing with everybody, CheesalaLovesRonPaul calling me a Republican (sorry cheesy, you are wrong), and Marney-my God Marney. She has to be a gimmick.There is no way a hardcore, insane conservative stereotype lesbian exists. No way. And that's not an insult to conservatives, as she's more insane than actually conservative. I dread her return. Still, she's better than Marvin at least, as she seems approchable outside of the CE folder.   -As far as music goes, Portishead have the best album of the year so far. Best Metal album so far is either Boris' Smile, Earth's The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull (not really metal though) or Nachtmystium's Assassins: Black Meddle Part 1. Best hip hop album is probably The Re-Up Gang's mixtape We Got it for Cheap Vol. 3. I think that The Carter 3 doesn't live up to all the hype it's been getting. It's a listenable album with a few great tracks, but it's not as great as everyone says it is.   -As far as horror goes, the best horror movie overall seems to be "Inside", with "The Lost", "[REC]", and "The Signal" as runners up.   -We were all reminded that Juggalos are the lowest rung of the music fan ladder, thus making me feels bad for Carnival. Speaking of him, I wish he'd post more.   -EHME finally had that kid.   -Obama is the official nominee, which means more bitching from Czech.   -Czech, Kingof909, NYU, and Vitamin X became mods.   -cabbageboy may be one of the dumbest or at least most annoying people, in the WWE folder right now. Everybody hates him for a reason.   -In spite of winning the worst poster tournament, Marvin was never banned, though he's tuned it down some. He's still terrible. Deon had posts in the "Things that Anger You" thread that are CronoT posting levels.   -Corey Lazerus prefers Nerd Rap to Real Rap.   -VH! Presents: I Love The New Millenium. Or: VH1 needs to be cancelled.   -Finally, "Kobe, How Does My Ass Taste?" No, not Kobe Tai...

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Songs I never want to hear in bars again

I frequent bars. Who doesn't? That out of the way, here is a list of songs I don't want to hear in a bar ever again, and why.   Bon Jovi-"Livin' On a Prayer" and "Bad Medicine"-There is nothing worse than coming into a bar and hearing a bunch of drunk fratboy's warbling Bon Jovi off key. These songs are the worst offenders, and need to be put to sleep in bars. Metallica-"Enter Sandman"-It's done to death people-we get it, you like to sing along to it after a long day, and then get high fives from your best pals. Also, what is up with tough guys singing along to "Nothing Else Matters" and getting all weepy. That song has the power to turn these guys into pussies in no time. Anything from Kid Rock-Really, just stop playing anything from him. Don't you ever wonder if the DJ, or if you frequent strip clubs (I don't-sorry) the strippers hate having to hear this, or at least get tired of it? Just stop playing this guy for the love of God. Garth Brooks-"Low Places"-It's like the ultimate drunk redneck asshole anthem. It's cancer to the ears. I'm from Southern Ohio, and if there is any modern country anthem that needs to be retired the most, it's this one. Fergie-"Fergilicious"-This has replaced "All I Wanna Do" and the works of Alanis Morrisete as the anthem from obnoxious FUPA and Gunt fat girls going crazy anthem. Anything from Jimmy Buffet-Along with The Eagles and John Mellancamp, nothing fills me with more rage than the works of Jimmy Buffet. Cartman was right about him BTW. Bob Seger-Turn the Page-It gets even worse if it's karaoke night. Actually, never go to a bar-ANY BAR-during karaoke night. AC/DC-"Highway to Hell," "Back in Black," and "Shook me All Night Long"-I like thse songs, but bars have ruined them for me some. Def Leppard-"Pour Some Sugar on Me"-Actually, girls dance really slutty when this plays, so keep playing it. So instead, let's go with... Poison-"Every Rose has it's Thorn"-There, much better. Anything from Sheryl Crow-Fat chicks with Jeff Hardy T-Shirts love singing along to her. It's as awful as you might think. Those are my pics. Feel free to add your own.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

RIP Tim Russert

-Tim Russert died at 58 today. Dude was one of the last great Journalists around, and one of the few people in the news media that I have respect for. RIP man.

-I'm going to my sister's graduation tomorrow. Should be fun.

-I'm also going to give Lil' Wayne's new album a listen sometime this week. Does it live up to all the hype?

-I'll go back to the worst horror movies of all time in the days ahead as well. I'm almost finished BTW.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

What the fuck have I created?

Nearly three years ago, I created this thread. It wasn't supposed to become as big as it currently is. I thought "Hey, this will end in a few weeks. Everyone will forget it exists, like all my other threads." Instead, it may be the biggest thread in the CE folder. You'd think I'd be happy to be the creator of such a popular thread. Well, I'm not.   Why? Because to be honest, I think it's a horrible thread. I know, I know, I'm just bitching. Looking back, I probably should have seen this coming. That still doesn't excuse me or the thread though, and when this election and campaign and whatnot is finally over, the thread needs to be moved into classics. Why? Because of these reasons:   Marvin-God, I know he's annoying, but he may have brought it to new levels here, derailing the thread and trolling by constantly kissing the already crusty ass of Glenn Beck, and being horrible. Everyone hates him, and his antics in this thread may already be the stuff of TSM legend. It's practically made for TSM classics. Marney-Lady, I doubt you are reading this. That out of the way, the reason I can't stand you has nothing to do with your political views, and has everything to do with: blatant troll like responses such as "Watch me care" which read like they could have come from an 14 year old, "B.O. Hussein" and calling him "Your Mullatto saviour", among other racist responses-it all has to do with you and your attitude, which consists of acting like an internet tough guy, then getting upset when people call you out on that. Superjerk, NoCalMike, etc-Not suprising, they are pretty much just repeating the same talking points over and over again. Nothing new, but it's annoying. Czech: Hillary fan boy-I like ya Czech, I really do. That out of the way, voting for Hillary just to spite Obama is really immature. Cheesalaisgood: Ron Paul Cheerleader-Like you are suprised. He also bought into some conspiracy loving documentary. I am fully convinced he's a truther. Narcoleptic Jumper: Ron Paul Cheerleader and Truther-I need not say more. I rest my case.  Kotz came back briefly today, and he's right: The Campaign '08 thread is terrible, and needs to be put to an end. Just do it when it's all over, and put it in the classics folder where it belongs

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

French Horror Part 2: Present

-Deep in the Woods (2000)-Eh, mostly uneventful about a group of artists hunted by a slasher. You've seen it before, and you've seen it done better.   -Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)-Though more action than horror, this badass little entry was a hit in it's home country, and helped bring the new wave of French Horror. Basically, a dude and his Native American Friend (played by Mark Dacascos from that horrible Double Dragon movie) in 18th Century France must solve the mystery behind a group of killings caused by a beast (created by Jim Henson's Workshop).   -Trouble Every Day (2001)-Despite being about sex and cannibalism, and a cool score by The Tindersticks, this is really just a dull, pretentious art house flick that just happens to have graphic sex and gore.   -Irréversible (2002)- Ouch. The most brutal, unflinching tale of rape and revenge since I Spit on Your Grave contains an ugly bludgening and a 9 minute rape scene. The movie is told in backwards time (like Memento), but it still packs an ugly as hell punch.   -Bloody Mallory (2002)-Ugh. A bad Horror/Comedy about a group of Paranormal Fighters that fuck around for the hell of it. If the Anti-Catholic sentiment doesn't offend you, the sub par Troma level humor and bad Buffy rip-off of a plot will.   -In My Skin (2002)-A woman recieves a disfiguring accident, and becomes fascinated by the wound...and then things get uncomfortable. A really painful (not in the bad sense) movie about a woman's erotic obsession with self mutilation. As far as Artsy French horror goes, this is a a major step up from "Trouble Every Day."   -Maléfique (2002)-Four inmates sharing a cell find a book of the occult. As you can guess, things go bad. Gory, suspense filled movie just recently got a U.S. DVD release after several years of online hype.   -High Tension (2003)-The movie that helped define the current wave of violent but suspensful French Horror may have a dreadful twist, but it's still a great horror movie. An impressive debut that shows recent slashers like Hatchet how it's done.   -They Came Back (2004)-The dead have come back. Not to consume our flesh, but to live their lives again. Not gory, but still haunting, those expecting a straight forward zombie movie will be disappointed. Those looking for something different will be pleased.   -Sheitan (2006)-Watchable but mediocre tale of "Hostel" like antics (no, not torture) and satanism. The real reason to watch this is Vincent Cassel, who's a hoot.   -Them (2006)-No, not a remake of the legendary Giant Ant movie. Here, a couple in an isolated country home, only to find themselves fighting for their lives against hooded assailants. Not a gorefest, but a great suspense flick with plenty of tense moments.   -Frontier(s) (2007)-A group of protestors find themselvs in deep shit when they run into a family of Nazi cannibals. While hardly original, (echoes of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Descent, Hostel, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, and other movies fill this sucker), it's still a fun little gorefest that actually got taken out of the "8 Fims to Die For" competition because of it's NC-17 rating.   -Inside (2007)-The best recent French horror movie so far (and the best horror movie of the year so far-it came to the U.S. in April) is an excellent blend of stomach churning gore and nail biting suspense. The premise is simple, but effective: A pregnant woman is terrorized in her house by a madwoman who wants what's inside of her. I won't say anything else. Just see it, you won't regret it.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

French Horror Movies Part 1: The Past

I know, I know, LOL France. Well, they've given us some great horror movies in the past, and as of late, they are kicking our ass in the quality horror department ("Inside" is the best horror movie to come out this year.) Here's part 1, which takes a look at older French Horror Moves. Part 2 (Recent Ones) is tomorrow.   -Un Chien Andalou (1929)-Silent Surrealist movie. Ever heard of/seen that weird black and white silent movie that opens with an eyeball slit open by a straight razor? This is that movie.   -Diabolique (1955)-Awesome, Hitchcock like tale of suspense about two women who kill a cruel headmaster. But is he really dead? Excellent all around, and one of the best foreign horror movies ever made.   -Eyes Without a Face (1960)-The best French Horror movie ever made IMO, this movie is about a Surgeon who kidnaps women and removes their faces (complete with surgical gore!) to help restore his daughter's face. A tragic, dreamlike movie, with one of the creepiest (and simplist) masks in horror history. Fun fact: Michael Meyer's mask was inspired by the one here. Oh, and yes, Les Yeux Sans Visage does translate to the movie's title.   -Rape of the Vampire (1967)-Old Jean Rollin movie (not the first one mentioned here) is really two erotic horror tales in one, involving three girls who may be vampires.   -The Tenant (1976)-Roman Polanski's other horror tale (the others include "Repulsion", "The Fearless Vampire Killers", and "Rosemary's Baby"), this movie about a Tenant slowly loosing his mind is a classic piece of paranoia that everybody should see.   -The Grapes of Death (1978)-Jean Rollin's unique take on the zombie movie deals with pesticide in the vineyards creating zombie like killers. Atmospheric but never slow, it should make zombie fans happy. What won't make zombie fans happy is Rollins' other zombie movie, the awful in every way Zombie Lake (1981).   -Living Dead Girl (1982)-Rollin's third zombie movie is better this time around, with enough blood and sex (including a gratuitous lesbian scene) to make Explotation fans happy. Not as good as Grapes of Death though.    

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

People I have on ignore-and why.

I have posters on ignore, and for obvious reasons. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Here's who and why:   Deon-Every post he makes is horrible. He annoys me in every way. In a way, he is the worst poster on TSM who has never been banned. C-Bacon-"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff"-Frank Zappa. Think about that Bacon. cabbageboy-I've known of his badness for a while, and just recently put him on ignore. He's a pretty bad poster, especially in the movie and WWE folders-which are known for having bad posters. razazteca-He seems to have disappeared. Maybe I should put him off ignore. VanHalen-Also M.I.A. Should have been named VanCherone. Banky-Hard to enjoy the music folder without him on ignore. The Truthiness-Put him on ignore last night. I am fully convinced he is a gimmick. Here's people I should have on ignore, and probably will someday.  CheesalaisGood-I am absolutely certain this man is a truther. Narcoleptic Jumper-He is a truther. Enigma-Would make going to the WWE folder more enjoyable. EHME-Do I really need to explain? Marvinisalunatic-Ditto, though he's a little less annoying lately.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

5 Things that are "cool" to hate on the Internet (abd why that hate is dumb)

Al Gore gave us the internet in I don't really remember. If he knew that it would give us pathetic "reality" porn sites, an outlet for furries, message board "wars", wanna be tough guys, hacker speech, and Rule # 34, he probably would kill himself. If there is anything the net has become know for in my experience, it's this: a place for fat, unwashed, virginal nerds to complain about things that really aren't worth complaining about. Here's the 5 things it's "cool" to hate on the net, and why in the end, it's dumb to hate them.   5.) Musicians that take chances   Why: Most people hate change, especially in music. Hell, I do too sometimes (DJ Shadow's The Outsider, Cabaret Voltaire's foray into House music), but sometimes, it's retarded. Look at how a few (fortunately, just a few) are already reacting to Portishead's new album, to how some Black Metal fags have responded to band's like Amesoeurs, Alcest, and Velvet Cocoon trying something different within the genre.   Why it's stupid : Look, it's not your choice how the artist sounds, it's the artists. Besides, even if it's a disaster, you have to at least give them credit for doing something different.   Will it last: This has been going on long before the internet, so yes, it will last forever.   4.) South Park   Why: Over the years, more and more people have been getting BUTT hurt over South Park making fun of their political views. When they did the "ManBearPig" episode, Liberals complained about it "preaching a conservative agenda." (I just thought it wasn't a funny episode.) Besides, these are very political times, and if you don't agree with somebody's political views, then you are either a thin skinned liberal or a nazi sympathizing neocon.   Why it's stupid: Whining about political views on the net, much like in real life, accomplishes nothing. You may feel passionately about them, but at the end of the day 1.) The world won't change tomorrow because of them and 2.) In the large scheme of things, they don't count. They are just opinions people. Besides, if everyone everywhere agreed on everything, life would be boring.   Will it last: I honestly think that the only way this will end is when Bush leaves office and if McCain doesn't win the 2008 election. It will be then that people quit calling the show propaganda.   3.) Libertarians   Why: When Ron Paul started running in 2007, he became a hero to some who felt that Bush had been a disaster, the Iraq War was a fuck up, and that we needed somebody who was different. Sadly, it ended up attracting anti-semitic and conspiracy theory spewing retards claiming to be Libertarians while having no idea what Libertarianism actually is.   Why it's stupid: A part of this isn't really that dumb. I wouldn't blame people (especially those who actually are Libertarians) for hating this phenomenon. However, it also boils down to the "you don't agree with my political views, so you suck" problem, in which angry conservatives and liberals insult these guys for daring to disagree.   Will it last: It should end by the year's end, then return in the next election.   2.) Juno   Why: "Juno" was the little indie comedy of 2007 that got ton's of acclaim and hype, even getting Oscar nominations (and winning best original screenplay-I don't think it deserved that...). By the time February rolled around though, people everywhere on the internet were bitching about the movie, calling it "The Death of the American Independent Movie" (as pbone called it)   Why it's stupid: While I liked the movie, I can understand people hating it. It didn't deserve all those nominations, and some of the dialog annoyed me. That out of the way, a part of the hatred seemed to come from some feeling like it was "test marketed for hipsters", which largely doesn't make sense to me. The other problem for them is that it's a popular indie comedy, and if history shows, popular indie movies ("Napoleon Dynamite", "Cabin Fever", "The Blair Witch Project") are automatically cool to hate in some people's minds. Look, just because a movie get's a ton of hype doesn't mean it's a bad movie. Sure, it might not live up to all your expectations, but it isn't worth all that venom.   Will it last: Give it another year or two. The next indie comedy hit will come out, and then people will go on to bitch about that.   1.) Hip Hop   Why: Internet nerds feel threatened by what they don't understand-be it liberals, conservatives, Indie Music, or Extreme Metal. No musical genre online though, gets the hatred Hip Hop does. Basically, it offends some people's overly white view of the world, so they lash out at it because they don't understand it. That out of the way, the homophobia and misogyny of several rapper's doesn't help matters, nor do guys like Lil' Jon and Yung Joc.   Why it's stupid: I can understand people not liking guys like Soulja Boy and Lil' Mama, or the crassness some artists use. But to dismay the entire genre is stupid. People used to do the same thing about Frank Zappa and Led Zeppelin, and still say the same about Heavy Metal. Plus, there's the whole not understanding it-to lash out at the genre because you don't understand it is as stupid as it gets. If anything, it's close minded and willfully ignorant.   Will it last: These complaints have been going on since the 80's, so it will never end. As long as Hip Hop exists, there will sadly still be fat guys with mullets and Boston T-Shirts or Greasy guys with long hair and Pantera T-Shirts complaining about Hip Hop. It's a cycle that will sadly never end.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

In defense of Vitamin X

Why? Well, look at this glorious thread.   Long story short: Vitamin X banned Marney. He did this after simply warning her (not a big deal really), and she flipped, acting like a spoiled bitch. She insulted him constantly (as well as AnnieEclectic for being a Transexual), and pretty much dared him to ban her.   So he did.   Afterwards, people bitched at him, telling him that Marney didn't deserve to be banned. These people included Rant and bob barron (who tends to bitch a lot.)   Quit fooling yourselves. She deserved to be banned. I have no problem with different opinions, but she basically acted belligerent, insulting those who disagreed with her, and blatantly spewing hateful, racist, homophobic (amusing, considering she's a lesbian) bullshit. She refused to follow the rules, and had to act like an internet tough guy, puffing her chest, thinking "nobody can ban me!" Hell, she pretty much asked to be banned, and her wish got granted.   Why did she do this? Here's my theory: just like MikeSC and others at The Pit, she feels wronged for no reason. So, in her feeble mind, she's proven a point. What point she proved is beyond me, and it only exists in her twisted psyche. In reality, all she proved is that she's a cunt, and her being banned had nothing to do with her being a conservative, a woman, or a lesbian-it all has to do with her behavior.   Seriously, why can't people like her, Leena, and MikeSC realize this? The board is not out to get them. Hell, from what I've seen, The Pit seems to obsess over us more than we do them. Most of us don't give a shit about that place. When you refuse to follow the rules, troll, insult those you don't agree with, and start pointless arguments, you will be banned. Why is it that some can't realize this? Are they fucking stupid?   In short, Vitamin X did the right thing. Marney should have been banned from the get go, and stop kidding yourself if you think otherwise.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

10 Horror Movies I wouldn't mind being Re-made

Normally, I think remakes are a horrible idea. Here's 10 movies that I would actually like to see get remade.   10.) The Thirsty Dead-A boring 1970's exploitation quickie from the Philippines about Beautiful young women being kidnapped by a blood cult. The premise may seem fun, but it's a pretty dull, tame affair, that has a PG rating. An updated, R-rated version probably wouldn't hurt.   9.) Curse of the Screaming Dead-Painfully bad zombie movie that may be the "Manos" of zombie movies. Even if a remake of it was made-and it ended up sucking-it wouldn't be worse than the original.   8.) Grizzly-Everyone has seen this movie. It's one of those forgettable nature's revenge movies that came after "Jaws." A remake wouldn't be that bad.   7.) Body Melt-I like this movie, I really do. That out of the way, it makes no sense, and the plot is basically a series of vignettes. A remake with a clearer plot-that kept the gory comedy of the original-would probably be a good idea.   6.) Carnosaur-I love this movie-it's so inept, it's hilarious. Plus, it has Clint Howard telling disgusting stories to people in a diner. That out of the way, it's not faithful to the book at all, and an remake that's more faithful to the source material would be great.   5.) The Dark-Bad in every sense of the word evil alien movie produced by Dick Clark of all people.   4.) Hard Rock Zombies-Horrible attempt at Horror/Comedy that tries too hard and succeeds at nothing. Make it a "Spinal Tap" style spoof.   3.) The Manitou-Decent adaptation of a story by an excellent author in Graham Masterson. I like it, but a remake wouldn't hurt.   2.) The Ghastly Ones-Andy Milligan is one of those early, H.G. Lewis style gore directors who was inept, but at least had laughable movies-that were also too talky. Do a remake that cuts some of the talk.   1.) The Corpse Grinders-Ever see a movie that you are amazed escaped MST3K? Here's one for you, fromt he director of "Girl with the Golden Boots" and the man that gave you "Eegah!" The plot: A local cat food producer uses a corpse grinding machine on human copses found in a graveyard, and uses the bits in cat food. Side effects include murderous felines. I say remake it as a splatter comedy (but don't try too hard to be campy-ie play it straight, that helps the comedy.)

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Songs about Fucking

-Charlton Heston died. When I was a kid, he was one of my favorite actors. "A Touch of Evil" is one of my all time favorite movies, and has a hell of a soundtrack. I could go on and on, but I won't. RIP Chuck.

-Taigastar got sent to the Gulag, then was let out. While I don't like her, she didn't deserve to be there. Deon, on the other hand...

-Scott Keith is supposed to be doing a Q & A here. I remember reading his old reviews, especially his review of "Royal Rumble 94." His review of Undertaker vs. Yokozuna is hilarious (complete with Depeche Mode reference!), and pretty dead on. Also, I remember Sean Shannon was pretty universally loathed, and seems to have diappeared off the face of the Earth. What happened to the doofus?

-Finally, I won't be doing music related entries here anymore. They'll instead go on my Last.FM blog.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Underrated Album(s): Alice in Chains-Sap

Usually, when it comes to Alice in Chains' best album, people are usually split between Dirt and Jar of Flies. I know Black Lushus's favorite is Dirt, while I'm more of a fan of the Hard Rock/Acoustic Folk sound of Jar of Flies. However, this isn't about their best album, this is about their most underrated. For that, I choose the EP Sap.

Done after Facelift and before Dirt, Sap is a bit of a stop gap, and a major shift in tone after the sludge of Facelift. It sees the band exploring their acoustic ballad that doesn't suck/folk side that would be improved on Jar of Flies. However, it's still a good EP, save for the last track, the out of place (and annoying) comedy song "Love Song."

Opening track "Brother" features Cantrell on Vocals, with Ann Wilson from Heart offering backing vocals. The song is appropriately melancholy, with acoustic strumming and reflective lyrics taking hold. "Got Me Wrong" was the EP's single, as a video was made, and it was included on the soundtrack to "Clerks." It's a great duet between Layne and Jerry, that sounds almost upbeat, in spite of the cryptic lyrics, though the chorus presents some hope. "Right Turn" is a collaboration between the band and members of Soundgarden and Mudhoney. It's a little more light hearted than the previous songs ("But it's so hard/To penetrate pig thick skin"), and is the shortest song here. "Am I Inside" also features Ann Wilson, and is the eeriest track on the album, with mournful piano and acoustic guitar. There's a slight upbeat tempo change in the chorus, but the tone remains throughout.

As I said before, Jar of Flies improved the folk rock sound captured here. As it stands though, Sap is an unfortunately overlooked album in the band's career, and deserves more attention.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Ch-ch-changes

-In case you guys didn't notice, or you're an idiot, TSM has changed ownership. Here's some of what has happened over the last few days:   . Leena is back, and not with stolen accounts. Fortunately, she's been regulated to Whiney Bitches, and can't annoy us anymore. . Damaramu is back also. I never got to fully experience him before his banning, so maybe I can see what all the fuss was about. . netslob, widpegaus, and CronoT will remain banned. Nobody wants them to return. Actually, EHME wants WP to return, but everyone knows EHME sucks. . Not TSM related, but Christ, Marney is horrible. . Cheech is now going to try to clean up the WWE folder. To that, I say good luck-you'll need it.   -Now to other news-Spring break is over for me after today. So much for r & r.   -"Hur Hur, them jiggaboos!" Again, Marney is horrible.   -"South Park" last Wednesday was pretty good, though a second viewng of the episode has changed my previous opinion. Also, "Breastiary in Nippopolis."   -Awkward Lapdance is... wow. This has to be Hotbutter Spoontoaster, only not as funny.    

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Pay Your Respects to the Vultures, For They are Your Future

-Czech, NYU, Danny Dubya, and CWM are now running things here. I like that. Pay your respects.   -I've been doing more reviews on IMDB lately, mostly of weird, obscure horror movies, though I also did one recently of "Leonard Part 6."   -Marvin will be suspended soon. Honestly, I'm suprised the guy hasn't been banned yet. He managed to become the 2nd worst poster on this board (worst is still Deon), though for a while, Marvin was the worst.   Also: Come on Deon, Will Farrell as an avatar? Oh wait, this is Deon...   -Now that the list of best moments in music, I'll most likely do a list of underrated/underappreciated albums.

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

 

Heavy Metal

Head bangers in leather
Sparks fly in the dead of the night
It all comes together
When they shoot out the lights
50,000 watts of power
And it's pushin' overload
The beast is ready to devour
All the metal they can hold
Reachin' overload
Start to explode

Chorus:
It's your one way ticket to midnight
Call it Heavy Metal
Higher than high, feelin' just right
Call it Heavy Metal
Desperation on a red line
Call it Heavy Metal noise

Tight pants and lipstick
She's riding on razor's edge
She holds her own against the boys
Yea, cuts through the crowd just like a wedge
Ohh, can you feel the static
So many contacts being made
We've got up front fanatics
Tearing down the barricade
To reach the stage
Can you feel the rage

[Chorus]

Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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