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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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How To Vibrate
 

#01

1.) Led Zeppelin, a groupie, and a Mudshark

Everyone knows this story. It may be the greatest example of rock star debauchery that ever occured. Oh sure, some of you may mention something that occured at a Motley Cru tour or whatever, but here's the guy's that set the standard.

The story: It's 1969. Led Zeppelin are on tour with Vanilla fudge. On the night of July 27, Zep invites a groupie back stage, and well, she's willing to do anything. So they tie her up, and proceed to stuff bits and slices of a mudshark into her pussy and asshole. Other's say it was a Red Snapper. Either way, they stuffed her with fish.

There are several accounts as to what really happened. Zappa did a song about it (that can be heard on the live album Filmore East-June 1971.) To this day, it remains one of the most talked about moments in rock star perversion. Either way, in my opinion, it's the greatest story in music history.

So there you go, the countdown is over. Here's a recap:

12.) Luther Campbell gets a blowjob on Stage.
11.) Screamin' Jay Hawkins: Father to 57 Children.
10) Throbbing Gristle's First Gig.
9.) Elvis orders a Sandwich.
8.) John Fogerty sued for self plagerisim (no, not the poster).
7.) Cyntheia teh cock.
6.) The Story of Dopesmoker.
5.) Ozzy Satisfies His Hunger.
4.) Ozzy Remembers the Alamo.
3.) Mingus Destroy's his Bass.
2.) The Story of Mayhem.
1.) Led Zeppelin,a groupie, and a mudshark.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

When I was in 12th Grade...

...I thought Bill Hicks was the funniest man who ever lived.   I listen to him now, and I don't think "Bill Hicks sure is funny!" I instead think "Wow, that stoner sure sounds angry." In short, the magic has kinda disappeared.   Also, there seems to be a strange phenomenon with douchebags quoting Bill Hicks.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Name Change; #02

I'm no longer gary floyd. I'm now Dr. Obrero.   Anyways, back to the countdown to the best stories in music.     2.) The Story of Mayhem.   Black Metal is a fascinating thing when you think about it. It started thanks to Speed Metal band Venom (who's 1982 album was called Black Metal), as well as help from bands like Bathory, Celtic Frost, and Mercyful Fate. However, Black Metal is most notorious in Norway, thanks largely to the band Mayhem, who have lived up to their name.   Mayhem was founded in 1984 by guitarist Euronymous, Bassist Necrobutcher, and some other guys with names that aren't theatrical. Their debut album, an EP called Deathcrush, was released in 1987. Frontman Maniac left the band, and was replaced by a guy named Per Yngve Ohlin, also known as dead. Dead wasn't all that right in the brain matter, so to speak: He would inhale a dead raven he kept in a plastic bag, cut himself on stage, and several other pleasent activities. He only appeared on one album, the live album Live in Leipzig. He ended up shooting himself in the head, the result of which can be seen on the picture you see on this entry, a live bootleg called Dawn of Black Hearts.   So, irony of all ironies, Dead was well...dead. Better yet, his suicide note said "Excuse all the blood." Interestingly, one of the band members (I think it was Euronymous) not only took a picture of dead, but used skull fragments on a necklace, and used some of the brain matter in a stew.   Shockingly, Necrobutcher left the band, and was repleaced by Varg Vikernes, who also had a one man project named Burzum (both Mayhem and Burzum are to this day major influences on Black Metal.) The band went on to record the album De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, which is considered the band's masterpiece. Things were still shaky though.   Varg and Euronymous didn't exactly get along. To make a long story short, Varg killed Euronymous in his apartment in Oslo, stabbing him with a knife. Varg was arrested, though there's more to the story. You see, Varg was also tied to several church burnings (he denies involvement, but I doubt it), and police found several explosives, like dynamite, in his apartment. He also is a white supremacist and fan of Hitler.   Anyways, De Mysteriis came out in 1994 (as did Burzum's Hvis Lyset Tar Oss, also considered his best work.) It wouldn't be three years until the world heard from Mayhem. Original frontman Maniac appeared on three albums-Wolf's Lair Abyss, Grand Declaration of War, and Chimera. De Mysteriis frontman Attila returned for their latest album, Ordo Ad Chao. Drummer Hellhammer remains in the band (and is actually a pretty damn good drummer), Varg remains in jail (he attempted an escape, and did two shitty ambient albums while in incarceration), and Dead remains...dead.   Now that folks, is fucking metal.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

#4-3

4.) Ozzy Remembers the Alamo

Fun fact-Ozzy is the only musician to be mentioned on this list twice. Here's the story, though I'm pretty sure you know it by now: It's 1982, and Ozzy's comeback is now in full effect. Anyways, while on tour, one night, he gets really drunk (big surprise, I know), and puts on one of his wife's dresses. He then stumbles outside, towards the Alamo, and takes a leak on it. Yep, he pees on the Alamo. Oh, and yes, he was arrested.



3.) Mingus Destroys his Bass

Charles Mingus was one of the most gifted jazz musicians of all time. Czech is a huge fan of his. He was also a manic depressive, who was prone to doing all kinds of shit in concerts. One night, people were talking too much during one of his concerts, something Mingus didn't particularly like. So, in a fit of rage, he picks up his bass (which was an upright acoustic bass) and smashed it to bits.

Yep, before The Who destroyed their guitar on The Smothers Brothers, before Hendrix set his guitar on fire, there was Mingus obliterating his bass. He's the one who started it all.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

#6-5

6.) The Story of Dopesmoker

The story behind Dopesmoker-which may be the ultimate stoner album-is a fascinating one, or at least I think so.

Sleep were a Doom/Stoner Metal band, who's previous album Sleep's Holy Mountain had become highly acclaimed in the underground, and for good reason too-it was a logical, nearly flawless continuation of Black Sabbath's stoned groove that many had tried, but only some had succeeded. London Records, seeing something big, signed Sleep, though the album itself-obviously the result of constant pot smoking-wasn't what they wanted. It was called Dopesmoker, an album that took two years to complete, and was a one hour long, slow, and heavy as fuck song-a concept album about a group of Holy Men who decide to get really fucking baked.

London Records weren't happy with the end result, so Sleep tried to rework it as a six part, 52 minute album titled Jerusalem. The label was still unhappy, and dropped the band, who then broke up. Interestingly enough, two of the band members smoked so much pot, that they became born again Christians.

Interestingly enough, Jerusalem was relased in 1999, and the original album Dopesmoker finally saw the light of day in 2003 thanks to an indie label. Oh, and yes, it really does live up to the hype.



5.) Ozzy Satisfies His Hunger

It's 1980. Ozzy has signed a deal with a new label, and he really needs a comeback. One night, he and his wife Sharon are at a meeting with record execs, he has a plan to release some doves to wow them. Well, this plan isn't going the way he hoped, so he has a change of plans.

He takes a dove, and bites it's head off in front of the execs.

Unsurprisingly, the execs are none too pleased at this, and have security escort him. None the less, it was the start od his solo infamy, and his career later took off. Maybe it turned out to be good luck.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Nevermind

Yeah, I should have voted for Cena's Writer.   Matt, it's a fucking tournament made for fun on a message board. It's not "Serious Business." I doubt I'll make it to round three, and you don't see me crying about it.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

I made it to round two! and other musings

-First of all, I made it to round two of the Posters Tournament, which makes me happy. I even beat veteran and established poster Youth N Asia, which surprises me. To those who voted for me, I say thanks, and to those who didn't, that's ok, as long as you left kind words. Will I win round two? Probably not, but the fact that some of you think I'm a good or improved poster is great.   Also, congrats to Lushus, Venkman, King Kamala, Man in Blak, Carnival, and yes, even Matt Young, for making it to round two. I actually was rooting for Matt, as he could be the underdog of the year. Too bad it left a debacle involving him and Cena's Writer, but I'll give Matt the edge for not sucking up to Hugo Chavez. Also, unlike CW, he didn't vote for Carlito Brigante over King Kamala.   -Also, is it just me, or is Carlito Brigante really boring and predictable now. He repeats the same insults adnauseum, seems to call everybody fags, and is basically boring now. he's still scream at the moniter horrible though.   -Recent discovery: Primordial's 2007 album To The Nameless Dead, a great blend of Black Metal, Celtic music, and folk that never feels forced, and puts Viking Metal to shame. I never did like Viking Metal though. I wish I had known about it in 2007, because it would have made it in my best albums of 2007 list.   -Finally, look for my 12 best moments in music history to return to this blog soon.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

WWE Folder

-The WWE folder sucks right now. There's no way around it, and something needs to be done. There are too many people who treat wrestling too seriously, and the folder needs less of them and more people who have watched for a while and have knowledge, but don't make it their life. We need more posters like Venkman, Lushus, alkeiper, Chriswok, Scroby and their ilk and less Mecca, Enigma, Carlito Brigante and their ilk. The latter are why I tend to avoid the folder now. Whenever I watch Raw these days, I avoid the folder and go on the chat.   Look, I still watch the WWE, but there are valid reasons why cheech made a "Reasons why the WWE folder sucks" thread.   Also, I like Czech, and it's fine he doesn't like to watch wrestling, but there is no way in hell the wrestling folders will become secondary. This place started as a part of a wrestling website, and while this message board isn't really a wrestling message board anymore, the wrestling folders, no matter what you think, are still a vital part of this board. It's just that things need to change in one of the folders.  
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Music & Ron Paul

Happy New Year.   -Lately, I've been listening to all kinds of music. Here's what, and why   .Raekwon-Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...-The production by RZA is flawless, and it's the album debut of the immortal Nas. Anyone who loves Hip-Hop needs this.   .Steroid Maximus-¡Quilombo! , Gondwanaland, and Ectopia-Imagine the best soundtrack for a movie that was never made. Let J.G. "Foetus" Thirlwell and friends in the mix. The result is a blend of cinematic funk, big band jazz, ethnic music, weird soundscapes, unnerving loops and samples, horror soundtrack undertones, and so much more. In a word: perfect.   .Mastodon-Leviathan and Blood Mountain-Holy shit, get these. Metal at it's best, with excellent musicianship, and Prog-Rock undertones that aren't bloated and pretentious.   .Ennio Morricone-Exorcist II: The Heretic-Horrible movie, but an awesome score by Morricone. May be his most underrated.   .Agalloch-Pale Folklore, The Mantle, and Ashes Against The Grain-Holy shit, these are great. Black Metal meets Neo-Folk and Post Rock in the perfect winter soundtrack. If you like this, give Wolves in the Throne Room a listen too.   -Now, to Ron Paul Fans: He won't become the next president. He will never become the next president. Hell, I think he's a bit crazy. And no matter how much you protest Rudy, Huckabee, Clinton, or Edwards, that won't mean shit at the end. You are fucking delusional to think that A.) He has any chance of winning, B.) That he could bring peace to Iraq, and C.) That getting rid of the I.R.S. is a good thing. Oh, and none of you are really Libertarians. You just say you are because you are unhappy with the Republicans and the Democrats. So am I, and I just say I'm "Independent."
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

The Final 2007 Year in Review

-Milky made a much needed return, helping to make TSM interesting again.   -Leena was banned for being a cunt who takes the internet as serious business, and made many aborted attempts at a return.   -Ron Paul supporters are fucking crazy.   -Chavez didn't become President for life (thank God), thus hurting the feelings of Cena's Writer and C-Bacon.   -Huckabee and Romney got more support, while Rudy continues to tank.   -Rosie became the worst fucking celebrity on Earth, left The View, revealed she's a Truther, and the list goes on.   -Brittney attempted a comeback...and failed.   -Something happened involving Chris Benoit...wildpegasus han't been heard from since.   -Hillary lost some footing in grounds to her goal to become president.   -Larry Craig has a wide stance, if you get my drift (hurr hurr hurr)   -Athiests yelled at each other on Youtube. So much for religion being the blame for everything. Here's a rule: guys who are teenagers and/or live at home with there parents should not be Athiests, because they can't say things intelligently. (teens and people who live at home, not Athiests.)   -Fark finally joined the ranks of Free Republic and Democratic Underground, as it is now a haven for truthers, trolls, conservative nutjobs, wanna be communists, and angry Athiests.   -Anna Nicole died. Her last movie is Oh, and yes, that's Chyna. Speaking of which, her appearence on Larry King was something else. She'll be on "Celebrity Rehab" in January, and the fact that such a show exists kills my soul a bit.  -Fuck Chocolate Rain, this is the best video on Youtube.   -"Grindhouse" tanked, yet "Alvin and the chipmunks" made a ton of cash. For fuck's sake America. Oh, and "No Country for Old Men" is the best movie of the year.   -Deon became the worst poster on TSM, and had his name changed to Douchebag. Carlito Brigante's stupidity continues unabated, as he got a girl pregnant and is getting in another fight. To quote snuffbox, "One day, ehme, the internet will take you as seriously as you take it."
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

2007 Music Review

Best Albums: LCD Soundsystem-Sound of Silver, Jay Z-American Gangster, Grinderman-Grinderman, Alcest -Souvenirs d'Un Autre Monde, !!!-Myth Takes.   Worst Albums: Timbaland-Shock Value, The Stooges-The Weirdness   Best Song: Jay Z-"Roc Boys" Alcest-"Les Iris"   Worst Song: Soulja Boy-"Crank That Soulja Boy", Avril-"Girlfriend", Fergie-"Big Girls Don't Cry"   Most Disappointing: Wu Tang Clan-The 8 Diagrams. Half a good, album half a bad one. Also, Interpol-Our Love to Admire   Worst Band: Angels & Airwaves. Tom Delonge is a pretentious faggot.   Enough Already: Fergie, Daughtry   Unwarranted Return: Garth Brooks   Guilty Pleasure: NiN-Year Zero. Probably the first NiN album I like.   Best Artist: James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem), Jay-Z, Neige (Alcest)   Worst Artist: Tom Delonge (Angels & Airwaves), Fergie   Overhyped: Arcade Fire, M.I.A., Spoon, Arctic Monkeys, Amy Winehouse, Iron & Wine, New Pornographers, Feist   Underhyped: Angels of Light, The Angelic Process, Dalek, Substanz T, The Giallo's Flame.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

2007 Horror review

Best Horror Movie: Grindhouse. Honerable mention goes to Zodiac and Bug (which are only sort of horror), 28 Weeks Later, The Mist, 30 Days of Night, and The Host.   Worst Horror Movie: TIE Captivity and Skinwalkers. Honerable mention goes to Unearthed, Hills Have Eyes II, The Hitcher remake, Rise, Blood Hunter, and Hannibal Rising.   Goriest: TIE Planet Terror and Hatchet   Funniest: All the trailers to Grindhouse, especially Werewolf Women of the SS. Honerable mention goes to Severence.   Most Disappointing: Rob Zombie's Halloween. Honerable mention goes to The Last Winter and the adaptation of Jack Ketchum's The Girl Next Door.   Best Sequal: 28 Weeks Later   Most Cringe Inducuing Moment: Melting balls in Planet Terror. Honerable mention goes to the Belt Sander scene in Hatchet and the castration scene in Hostel II.   Best Cameo: TIE Nicolas Cage in Werewolf Women of the SS and Ruggero Deodtro in Hostel II.   Best Kill Mouth and skull torn apart in Hatchet.   Best Actor: TIE Robert Downey jr., Mark Ruffolo and Jake Gyllanhall in Zodiac. Honerable mention goes to Thomas Jane in The Mist, Kurt Russell in Death Proof, Robert Carlyle in 28 Weeks Later, Danny Huston in 30 Days of Night, Nathan Baesal in Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, Malcolm McDowell in Rob Zombie's Halloween, and Brian Cox in Zodiac.   Best Villain: Marcia Gay Harden in The Mist. Honerable mention goes to Danny Huston in 30 Days of Night, Kurt Russell in Death Proof, and the monster in The Host.   Best Actress Ashley Judd in Bug. Honerable mention goes to Rose McGowan in Planet Terror and Marcia Gay Harden in The Mist.   Best Indie and/or Foreign Movie: The Host. Honerable mention goes to Severence, Mullberry Street, Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, Hatchet, and The Living and the Dead.   Finally on DVD: From Beyond, Night of the Comet, and Monster Squad.   Look Forward to in 2008: George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead, Dario Argento's The Mother of Tears, Stuart Gordon's Stuck, Cloverfield, Frontier(s), The Lost, Red, HeadER (not a typo btw), The Signal, Inside, and Hellboy II.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

TSM 2007 Year in Review

Best Poster: Czech. He cracks me up, and while we may not always see eye to eye, is the best we have here. Plus he gives me albums sometimes. Honerable mention goes to Slayer, Coat is my Father, and Venkman.   Worst Poster: Douchebag aka Deon. A dumb motherfucker who is worthless in every way imaginable-and in some ways unimaginable. Honerable mention goes to Carlito Brigante, razazteca, Marvinisalunatic, VanHalen, C-Bacon, Jingus (at least in the CE folder), Matt Young, and Cheesalaisgood.   Best Thread: Carlito's gonna be a daddy. A goldmine of comedy-or at least comic potential. Honerable mention goes to Pitctures I like, best album of 2007, and Campaign 2008 begins.   Worst Thread: Deon ruins two lives, which deserves no further explaination. Honerable metion goes to the Chris Benoit Thread, any thread started by C-Bacon, Cheesalaisgood posting a conspiratorial "documentary", the "Boycott TNA" thread, Matt Young's cock (Matt can be a creepy bastard), and the thread where I acted like a bitch when Inc insulted me.   Best Bud: Lushus. You the man!   Best Sig: Czech.   Welcome back: Milky returned, giving us more um, interesting looks at his life and looks at the world.   Farewell: Kotz left, and I miss the guy. Leena left, and I don't miss her-and I still don't care about her. Masked Man of Mystery seems to be gone as well. I miss Special K.   Best New Feature: TSM chat. I enjoy chatting it up every Monday with Invader3K, Lushus, Hawk, and Downhome.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

See No Evil: A Review

How do you make a slasher flick with potential a bad movie? When you are WWE Films.   First things first: See No Evil is not the first movie WWE films produced, in spite of what some will tell you. It was actually co-producer of Scorpian King and The Rundown (the latter a pretty damn good action flick). It is the first though, in movies that had potential to be to be a watchable B-Movie, but somehow manages to fuck it all up.   The plot: A group of juvenile delinquents who you don't really give two shits about have to clean up an "abandoned" hotel, only to run into a reclusive psychopath with mommy-issues named Jacob Goodnight (played by Glenn "Kane" Jacobs), who proceeds to knock them off. Oh, and he loves gouging out his victims eyes (hence the title, which is essentialy a bad pun. Better than the previous title of Eye Scream Man, though the thought of Kane as a killer ice cream man is amusing. Hell, he was a dentist.)   While there's some decent kills (including a nice bit with a cellphone), the movie also manages to get this right: sleaze. The flick oozes with the kind of seedy vibe found in late 70's and 80's era exploitation movies. Unfortunately, Jacob is not exactly a very threatening villain, as he's just another stock slasher with mother issues. Oh, and we get to see him punish the pope. Yep, Vince McMahon was involved with it!   Another problem is the filming style. The whole thing, directed by former porn director Gregory Dark (he of New Wave Hookers and White Bun Busters fame) feels more like Saw lite instead of a slasher movie. What could have been a fun throwback to 70's and 80's slasher flicks like The Toolbox Murders and The Slayer ends up being another hyper edited, annoying horror flick. In short: Once again WWE films fails, only here it's for the first time.   Oh, and no Vince, people do not want to see Kane spank it.   Rating: 3 out of 10.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Christmas Albums

Yeah, Christmas Albums   The Christmas Cocktails series are worth every penny. That's good too, since they are cheap. Loungy takes on old Christmas classics, and Dean Martin (among others)   Christmas on Death Row boasts one awesome song in Snoop's "Santa Claus goes to the Ghetto", and a whole bunch of filler-including cliched gangsta rap, r&b, and new jack swing.     Mariah's album has "All I Want for Christmas Is You" and "Miss You Most (At Christmas Time)". It's worth it for those alone.   Yeah, I don't know what they were thinking either.   Jethro Tull's Christmas album is actually one of the better Christmas albums, in the fact that you can listen to it regularly. Granted, it's no Thick as a Brick or A Passion Play, but it's still pretty good.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

The Condemned: A Review

There's bad movies, and then there's WWE Films.   Ok, I take that back: "The Rundown" was pretty fun. This one is no Rundown though. It's mearly a poor man's "Battle Royale" with a tacked on moral message.   The plot: A new reality show exclusive to the internet has been created by a bigshot Hollywood producer (Robert Mammone). The show puts 10 people on death row on an island, and gives them 30 hours to live. Among the contestants: Jack Conrad (Steve Austin, who does an good job), whose like, got a family you know; and McStarley (Vinnie Jones, who steals the show), who's the sick villain you love to hate. Oh, and there's some message about how violence is wrong. That's right, WWE is telling you that violence is wrong.   What could have been a decent action movie is ruined by some poor performances, stereotypes, overly realistic violence (World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT!), a generic soundtrack (come on, Nickleback? Though Grame Revell's score is competant), preachiness, and more. While Austin, Jones, and Masa Yamaguchi do commendable jobs, the rest of the cast is a poorly written blend of dumb kids weened on violent video games (World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT!), a sterotypical greedy Hollywood bigshot, the concerned female, the worried wife, and thugs and rapists. Character actor Rick Hoffman (he of "Hostel" and "Cellular" fame) has a performance that could have been better if the screenplay by Rob & Andrew Hedden, who are writers for WWE, knew how to write interesting characters.   Speaking of WWE, the movie is yet another example of how WWE Films essentially fails to deliver on the dumb but fun kind of spectacle you would want. A movie like "See No Evil" could have been a decent throwback to the Slasher flicks of old, but instead was just "Saw" lite. "The Marine" could have been a decent afternoon action flick, but failed even at a rudimentary level. Here, "The Condemned" also could have been a fun action flick, but is bogged down by a preachy message, which reaches MST3K movie levels of ineptitude when the reporter asks the audience "Are we the condemned?" In short, while they are laughably bad, WWE Films so far has yet to create an enjoyable B-Movie.   But hey, who needs that when World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT! Too bad for them that Paul Verhoven, George Romero, and even Eli Roth have too, and to much better success.   Rating: 3 out of 10.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

#8-7

8.) John Fogerty sued for self plagerisim (no, not the poster)
A lot of artists are accused of sounding the same. That out of the way, none of them have been sued, except for a 1994 case in which John Fogerty was sued. He was sued because his song "Old Man Down the Road" sounded a lot like the Creedence Clearwater Revival song "Run Through the Jungle." In other words, John was sued for sounding like well, himself.



7.) Cynthia teh cock
We all want to remember our rock idols-some in interesting ways. For Cynthia Albritton, it was making plaster molds of her rock idols cocks. She's done cock-models of Kiss (Who wrote a song about her), Pop Will Eat Itself, Hendrix (her favorite), Jello Biafra, and more. That my friends, is dedication. Her work has even been featured in art exhibits.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

This is why we can't have nice things

I don't get along with everybody. Granted, not everybody here gets along. But that's how it is. Fortunately, there is always the ignore feature. Here's the list of people I don't care for.

Douchebag: Horrible in every way imaginable. An idiot who missed the point of the movie "Shoot 'Em Up" (it was supposed to be stupid, you simpleton), bragged about potentially ruining somebody's life (in what may be one of the worst moments in TSM history), makes horrible attempts at humor, and yet isn't called out for being an idiot in the WWE folder (which already has it's share of simpletons.)

Carlito Brigante: In spite of what some may say, he isn't the worst poster on TSM at the moment (Douchebag is), but he is the stupidest. He thinks I take the folder too seriously, threatened to beat people up in the MMA folder (he says it was a joke, and if it was, it was a stupid joke), once called Black Lushus an "Uncle Tom", claims I'm "all on his jock" (when you act like an idiot, you are going to be treated like one or called out), and now apparently impregnated a girl, but is too dumb to get a test to see if it really is his.

razazteca: Speaking of horrible attempts at humor, here's the king. He's made at least 30,000 posts, and hardly any of them are any good. Even some at the WWE folder don't like him.

VanHalen: He should be called VanCherone, because that was the worst part of Van Halen's career. From taking other peoples avatars, to being an annoying prick, to his pointless threads, he's a waste of space.

Marvinisalunatic: A man who orgasmically goes on about HD TV, constantly goes "Jericho looks gay in that LOL!!!", makes bad posts in the Sports folder, "WWE", and looks like a mishappen mutant from "The Hills Have Eyes"

C-Bacon: Is essentially a socialist weasel who approves Anarcho-Socialism, has no idea how kids should be taken care of, thinks everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about America is the result of imperialism, tends to invoke fascism, sucks Chomsky's cock, thinks kids should be allowed to do whatever they want, and is generally clueless. Thank God i have him on ignore.

gary floyd: I hate that faggot.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

#10 & # 9

10) Throbbing Gristle's First Gig

Believe it or not, the first industrial group was not NiN or KMFDM or Ministry or any of those groups. It was Throbbing Gristle, who from 1975-81, made an abrasive noise that would shape what would come, as well as shocking more than a few people.

The groups first gig, featured all of their trademarks-ear-raping tape and synth noises, abrasive guitar playing, over the top shock-value lyrics, and other such things. Instead of playing in a club like most punk and proto punk bands, the groups first gig was at an art gallery, and was an "exhibit" called Prostitute. Among the music, it also had photos from a pornographic magazine that member Cosey Fanni Tutti posed for, as well as Nazi and concentration camp photos, soiled diapers, mutilation, and front man Genesis P-Orridge mounting a pile of used tampons.

The press was shocked (of course), referred to the band as "sick people" and "wreckers of civilization". The band released three studio albums, then broke up in 1981. Genesis formed Psychic TV (and is now a transexual), Cosey and husband (and fellow band member) Chris Carter formed Chris and Cosey (who went on to be a huge influence on everything from synth pop to Industrial Dance Music to Detroit Techno), and Peter Christopherson briefly was a member of Psychic TV, until he and John Balance left and formed Coil.

The band have reunited, but nothing they do today will be the equal of their past.



09.) Elvis orders a Sandwich.

Elvis in 1976 was not a pretty sight, as he had become a fat, bloated parody of himself. On February night, he and some pals got in a discussion about one of The King's favorite sandwiches-The Fool's Gold Leaf. The sandwich consists of a single loaf of hollowed out, warmed bread, one jar of peanut butter, one jar of jelly, and a pound of bacon. The result is slathered with butter and then baked. That sure does sound healthy, don't it?

Thing is, the sandwich is only made in Denver, Colorado. Elvis wanthed one though, so he and co. went to Colorado Mine Company, which was the only restaurant that served it. Thing is, they flew in a jet from Memphis to Denver so Elvis and pals could have the sandwich. Elvis bought 22 loaves for the guys, and invited the pilots of the plane to join them.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Best stories in Music begins with #12 & #11

Yeah, it's 12 moments instead of 10 now. Let's get this started.     12.) Luther Campbell gets a blowjob on Stage   Back in the old school days of hip hop (when else?) 2 Live Crew were pretty controversial. One night in a concert in Japan, Luther Campbell (I think it was him at least) shouts out "Give Me a Blowjob!" The rest, as they say, is history, as a group of girls were more than willing to do so.   Honorable mention: Suge Knight and Tupac beat up a guy, and make him drink Pac's piss.     11.) Screamin' Jay Hawkins: Father to 57 Children.   Hawkins (mostly known for the song "I Put a Spell On You", claimed to be father of many illegitimate children. So, was he? Well, at least 12 of them showed up for a reunion, though he claimed without much exaggeration or joking that he was father to 57 kids. That is...something else. That's a lot of bastards.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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