Mr. S£im Citrus

SWF Lockdown HOLT report July 21, 2004 New York City, New York at Madison Square Garden Report by Charlie Cipolla of Staten Island, NY, Smartmarks.com reader Dark Matches: - Ebony beat Candace in 2:18 with the Loving Embrace. Afterwards, she attempted to perform mouth-to-mouth on Candace to revive her, but Lobo chased her out of the ring. - Edward James beat Jimmy Liston in 4:05 with a Crucifix Powerbomb. - A Bra and Panties Match between Megan Skye and Alison Onita was ruled a no-contest when Kelly Connelly came down to the ring with a clipboard and claimed to be the self-appointed program director for the evening. She then read something off of the clipboard about there being no Bra and Panties match on tonight’s card, due to some kind of building code at MSG (which is pure bullshit), and demanded that the match be cancelled. But, nobody argued with it but the fans, who booed Connelly out of the ring. - Toxxic and “Judge Mental” William Hearford beat Déjà Vu in 8:29 when Toxxic hit Kross with the Caffeine Bomb. After the match, Toxxic got on the microphone and said that he’d been keeping tabs on Hearford in the last couple of weeks. He said that he understood the pain that Judge had been feeling throughout his losing streak, and that he could offer him a better way. He said something about his Revolution Zero followers needing an advisor, someone who could help them reach their maximum potential. He then told Judge to think it over and left the ring, leaving him to stand there in deep thought. - SWF ICTV Champion Johnny Dangerous beat John Duran in 7:13 with the MI Slam in a non-title match. - Revolution Zero (Sean Davis & Spike Jenkins) beat Jacob Helmsley and David Blazenwing in 6:31. Helmsley and Blazenwing were on track to score a major upset after Helmsley hit Damnation on Spike Jenkins, but Jet got on the apron to distract the referee, and Judge Mental ran back out to the ring to hit Helmsley with the Surprise Witness. Revolution Zero won with some kind of Yakuza Kick/Dominator combination, and Judge Mental raised their hands in victory. - Todd Cortez beat Landon Maddix in 5:54 with the Urban Assault. Maddix surprised Cortez with the Crash Landon, but he made the mistake of taunting him afterwards. Johnny Dangerous came back out to ringside and distracted Maddix just long enough for Cortez to recover. - Danny Williams beat Tom Flesher by disqualification in 9:44 when Flesher hit him with a chair in front of the referee. Lockdown: - Funyon announced that Petey and Chance Silver both missed their flight, so they had an impromptu match, in which Jet beat Arianwyn Rivenstone in 3:56 with the Jet Black. - That Superplex to the concrete was SICK! I was amazed that either one of them could get up after that, let alone both of them! - The crowd was really into Manson, and when he hit that avalanche spinebuster, I thought that was it! We all popped huge when he hit Masked Man with the Consequences! After the match, Manson left through the crowd, with plenty of people patting him on the back. - Mak Francis hosted the Countdown to Genesis giveaway. I didn’t get selected for the Grand Prize drawing, but I did win an autographed Alan Clark t-shirt! - Funyon announced that Jamie Drazon was caught trying to cross the border with a dime bag, and failed to clear customs. Renegade was announced as a surprise replacement, and Lezaire beat him in 8:09 when he reversed the Renebreak into a backslide. - I tell you what; I don’t really like Toxxic, but what Flesher did to him was FUCKED UP! - Janus is sick. And twisted. Janus is sick and twisted. Yup. I can only hope that Ced and Munich get a chance to meet up with him in a dark alley sometime down the line. Biggest Pops 1) Manson 2) Dace Night 3) Andrea Montgomery & Birdman 4) Alan Clark 5) Johnny Dangerous Most Heat 1) Janus 2) Tom Flesher 3) Toxxic 4) Kelly Connelly 5) Austin Sly

Well, not if you look at it like *that*, it doesn't... but I don't look at it like that. I look at it as: Reigning World Cruiserweight Champion defeating the World Heavyweight Champion = elevating the Cruiserweight division.

Even though I don't think that Tom wants to win the belt, I would really like to see this happen, just to spite all of the people who consider the World Cruiserweight Championship to be a lesser title, and feel that you can't take "lesser" belts to the top with you.

Reminder to all writers: If you would like for any elements of your angles/storylines to be mentioned on the HOLT Report, just shoot me a PM. I'll probably get the HOLT for Lockdown up on my lunch break.

Not if he knows what's good for him...

MAIN EVENT NO DISQUALIFICATION NON TITLE MATCH Janus vs. Toxxic - Toxxic SINGLES MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix vs. Ace Lezaire - Maddix, to set up the rematch with Johnny at Ground Zero; Scaffold Match, anyone? THE AT THIS POINT REQUISITE HANDICAP MATCH! Sean Davis vs. Ced Ordonez and Munich - Ced and Munich, if they show. TAG MATCH Andrea Montgomery & The Birdman vs. THE WAYWARD SONS!!! (Edward James and Alan Clark) - Drea and Birdman, unless Clark returns to the level he was at when he beat me for the Cruiserweight Title. USJL CONTENDERSHIP TABLES MATCH "The Icon" Max King vs. "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart - Everheart SINGLES MATCH "The Paladin" Chance Silver vs. Candace - DNS; Chance Silver = TokyoX 2K4? CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher - Jenkins to retain by DQ in Flesher's match

I've always loved to hear both these guys' cackle, but I can't decide which one is better; make an arguement for one or the other.

Although I'd never put him down for "best" promo, I think that Bill Eadie (Demolition Ax) deserves an honorable mention; I was just watching some old Demolition matches and listening to him promo, and Ax had a great voice for doing interviews. I've always been a fan of his terse, hoarse delivery. EDIT - And their ring music kicked ass, too.

Do you ever find it challenging to write as a man? I don't think I could write a woman convincingly.

Taamo's jerking the curtain? :: points and snickers ::

Well, this faction definitely got off on the right foot... EDIT - Waitaminute... she?!

According to this thread, he did.

Alright, here's the deal: I have no life. So, I've really got nothing better to do right now, and I kind of just decided, "hey, let's look back through all the threads in Community/General as far back as they can go, and see if I can understand anything!" After having done this, I have a few questions and/or comments that I hope some of you old-heads can answer for me: 1 - Tom, you look a lot like my ex-brother-in-law, but with a different haircut; you wouldn't happen to be from Western PA, by any chance? 2 - Why is Crow an OP in chat? Whose palm did he grease? 3 - Drea, why do you capitalize the "GO" in "GOdrea?" and, what was the thought process in transitioning from "hebiebver" to "Angel_Grace_Blue?" 3a - Which came first: GOdrea, or G.O.A.T? 4 - Just how long did Kotz last in the JL, and who was he? 5 - Okay, so I found Part 1 of 5, 2 of 5, 3 of 5 and 4 of 5 of the "Old sk00l stuff" saga, but 5 of 5 appears to never have been posted. Is there any chance that you can happen to remember what it was supposed to be? 6 - Were "Mistress Sarah" and "Annie Eclectic" the same person? 7 - The "Origin of the Border Run" thread is one of the most eye-straining things I've ever tried to read. 8 - Sooo... whatever happened to the SCW, anyway? 9 - Crusen was Fugue? 10 - Why the hell did Stubby use to do that "PROMO/Mothernature says" shit? 11 - Did Craven really use to call himself "Ash Ketchum," after the Pokemon guy? 12 - Was there ever any point in time during Cutthroat's tenure when people didn't mock him? 13 - Why did Spike Jenkins and Thor hate each other? 14 - Why Giant Gonzales? 15 - Why Pepsi Max? 16 - Who would win in a cage match between G0R0 and Mr. Bukkake? 17 - Okay Thoth, you can stop bullshitting; that's not really your real voice, is it? I mean, you just talk like that for the radio show, right? 17a - You actually pronouce "Janus" as "YAW-nus?" I've been sounding it as "JAY-nus" in my head the whole time. 18 - Since GSMS appears to still be retired/removed from involvement in the fed, will anyone else ever join who is older IRL than I am? 19 - If Stubby came back, would he be welcome? 20 - Now that Munich has returned, should he have to defend this belt?

Kick ass; You need to do the rest of CC, too.

Is this like the last time you did this Report, where you had your roomate do impressions of the characters? Did you at least actually ask Frost those questions? Because, if it was legit, it was actually pretty good. - Dub "I'm hurt that Frost didn't think I had any potential" Cee

Don't fall for it, Wayward Sons! Slow is just trying to swerve you so he can win with a haiku!

I wish.

I don't have AIM; how else can I get it?

Okay, I'll admit to being a little behind on current events on the board proper, but why does a feedback forum need a moderator?

I wouldn't lose too much sleep over it, Sly; I held three different titles in the SWF five different times, and didn't get a rematch for a single one of them. It's not necessarily a big deal.

Hey, bro, that's what it's here for: hell, the very first HOLT Report was done for the specifically intended purpose of advancing a storyline between me and Johnny, and laying the groundwork for setting up the 8-man main event at Ashes 2 Ashes. I'm always open to anybody who'd like for their storylines to be advanced in the HOLT, just PM me and tell me what you'd like me to add. Whether it be a couple of indy names you'd like to see wrestling in dark matches (which Card used to do a lot), or if you just want to happen to mention something that would add a little meat to whatever angle you're currently involved in. The more input and feedback that I get for the HOLT, the better I can make it. - Dub Cee

Hey, you have to give the people a good show, right?

I wouldn't say that I was treating him terribly; I sort of thought of a "micro-storyline" on the fly a couple of weeks ago, so I'm running with it. Have a little patience, Judge. It'll all come out in the wash.

SWF Storm HOLT report July 17, 2004 Buffalo, New York at HSBC Arena Report by David Round of Buffalo, NY, Smartmarks.com reader Dark Matches: - Petey the Irish Penguin beat David Blazenwing in 0:45 with the Arctic Atomic Bomb. - Déjà Vu beat Rob Gilbert and Jimmy Liston in 3:59 when they hit the Déjà Vu splash on Liston. - Ebony beat “Judge Mental” William Hearford in 6:38 after a reversed decision when Hearford refused to let go of the Held Without Bail after he’d won the match. Afterwards, Judge snapped, beating up the referee, and putting him in the HWB! - Aecas beat John Duran in 8:13 with the Wings of Fire. Afterwards, he announced that he had accepted an invitation by Frost to tour Japan, and that he was going to be splitting time between here and there. - CIA beat Michael Craven by disqualification in 7:02 when Craven hit him with a chair. - Danny Williams beat Heath Black in 9:22 with the Elbow Suicida. This was a total carry job, but Danny made him look like a million bucks. Storm: - After winning his match, Birdman offered to help Andrea backstage, but Drea seemed to indicate that she wanted to stay out there a little while longer. Birdman gave her a gentlemanly hug, and then left the ring to allow Drea to continue to celebrate her return with her adoring fans. - The Hardcore Title match was a little hard to follow from the arena, and it was probably pre-recorded, but it looked like it would have been fun as shit to see happen live in front of you! I was a little surprised that there weren’t any co-eds in a frat house though; the “Girls Gone Wild” tapes wouldn’t lie, would they? - Ced and Munich continued to fight after the bell, even taking their drama into the crowd. In fact, they went right up the aisle like ten feet away from me! I tried to get closer, but too many people ran over in front of me. - It’s kind of funny; Jay Dawg gave props to Alan Clark, but then left him in the ring, so that a couple of road agents had to come and help him backstage. I guess he doesn’t respect him all that much… - Chris Card and Natasha came out to host a t-shirt giveaway after the Lezaire/Night match. They also had the Countdown to Genesis giveaway. - Masked man is a fucking nutjob. Complete. Fucking. Nutjob. I knew when he came down to the ring with a blow-up doll, we were in for a weird night…the kicking line was just bizarre, but when he pantsed Sean Davis? I was on my ASS! - I tell you what: I love a good NG match! And this one might have stolen the show! I especially love to see to cruiserweights moving up in the card; it only helps the Cruiserweight division, in the long run. I’ll have to admit, I was surprised when Johnny got the win, but he deserved it; he wrestled his ass off. I just realized something strange: Johnny Dangerous has now held every title in the SWF except for the Hardcore and the World Title. Who would have thought a year ago that Johnny would turn out to be the more successful member of Wild and Dangerous? - There’s no question that Buffalo is Flesher Country. That sumbitch could run for mayor out here… After the show went off the air, Flesher went back into the ring and got into it with Janus. Janus was able to take control early because of Flesher’s fatigue, but Taamo turned the tables on him when Janus missed a Knuckle Bomb and Taamo was able to get him up in a Backdrop Driver that brought EVERYBODY out of their seats! Alison handed him a chair from outside the ring, and Flesher used it to nail Janus in the head five times, finally knocking him out of the ring with a running chairshot! Before Janus could get back into the ring, some armed members of the Buffalo Police Department (probably some friends of Taamo) showed up to for a living barricade between him and the ring. Even then, the Hell Machine looked like he was going to test them, until a couple of them drew their sidearms. And boy, Janus was pissed! He walked back up the ramp, blood pouring out of his nose from the chairshots, and swore revenge on Flesher, who remained in the ring, posing with the World Heavyweight Title! Biggest Pops 1) Tom Flesher 2) Andrea Montgomery 3) Johnny Dangerous 4) Dace Night 5) Alan Clark Most Heat 1) Toxxic 2) Janus 3) Landon Maddix 4) Ace Lezaire 5) Revolution Zero

Thanks fella. This courtesy is being extended to all retirees, as well. If you don't plan on coming back, and you don't want me to use your character in the HOLT, then just say so, and I won't. But, if you never "officially" retired your character, I'm going to assume that they're fair game.