Corey_Lazarus

A decent read. I disagree with a few points (and I'll talk about them here), but he's definitely thought about what he was writing beforehand. Most people would prolly say "GET STING! GET SAVAGE! GET ANYBODY THAT USED TO MAIN EVENT BACK WHEN WRESTLING POPULAR!" He didn't. Smart move. The only parts I'll be quoting are the ones I'll be counterpointing. While I wholeheartedly agree that TNA needs to give the new viewers a reason to tune in every week, ending every show with a preview of next week's is a bad idea. Have a couple matches signed and tell the audience about them, but don't offer anything else. If the end of the show is too much like Raw ("DEAR GOD, WHAT IS HE DOING?!"), then fans will see right through it. Ehhhhhhhh...no. During a match between, say, Team Canada and The Naturals, Tenay and West should be focusing on TEAM CANADA and THE NATURALS. At no point in the program should they change the focus from getting the stars on-screen over to putting over somebody higher on the card. There's a reason they're higher on the card: they're more over than whoever's on-screen already. Maybe show some clips of the current champions in action (Raven, Daniels, and I forget who has the tag belts...The Naturals I think), and stress how TNA's tag division is the best in all of wrestling right now, stress how TNA gives wrestlers that were never given a good chance elsewhere the opportunity to shine, and bam: fans will start watching. Good product + wide variety of good characters/workers = fans. Never, EVER directly refer to your competition if you're attempting to go national and try to be as big as them. It detracts from your product as you are, essentially, wasting time that could be used to put over your own guys talking about the enemy. The best way to do this would be to have the very first match seen by the new group of viewers to involve Samoa Joe, who works in such a fashion that it looks REAL when he does moves (nice and stiff, but safely done) against somebody that go can go toe-to-toe with him in the same category, and maybe speed around him (so likely Sabin), with Joe winning in the end and then helping him up and shaking his hand. Show that, in TNA, it's about the SPORT of professional wrestling, not sports ENTERTAINMENT, and that if you can't cut it in the ring in TNA, you aren't lasting long. Also...bring back LowKi for an awesome Joe/Ki feud that would be SURE to get new viewers going "I thought wrestling was fake?" To do a person-by-person roster comparison, TNA would need to either hire heavyweights that are actually BETTER than WWE's (the only heavyweights in TNA I'd find better than most WWE heavyweights are Raven, Abyss, and Samoa Joe), or learn to book their matches so that the heavyweights flat-out LOOK better than they really are. So the more accurate comparisons would be: They have Christy Hemme...we have Traci Brooks. They have cruiserweight matches featuring wrestlers that were either rejected from working long-term for TNA (reference to Paul London) or are past their prime (reference to Rey Mysterio Jr., who IS better than any TNA cruiser, so that's the only valid insult they could possibly throw at him)...we have the X-Division (show clips of Ultimate X2 and Ultimate X4; a plethora of the EARLYYYYYY badass X-Division matches involving Lynn, Styles, and Ki; a small highlight reel of Sabin; and clips of the Super X-Cup tourney), lead by (whoever the champion is at the time, most likely Daniels or Joe, and show some clips of their best moves, ie. Daniels doing the BME and Angel's Wings and Joe hitting the Ole Kick and whatever he decides to use as a finish these days). They have "monsters" (Kane, Snitsky, etc.)...we have MONSTERS (Brown, Abyss, Tritan). They go through "hell" for the World title (reference to HIAC, obviously)...we have fun (show clips of the various Clockwork Orange House of Fun matches, and show TONS of bloodbaths that have happened in title matches). They have "sports entertainment"...we have PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING (show clips from just about everything TNA does that is old-school and then lead it into the innovation of the X-Division). Again, never a good idea to outright attack somebody with enough power to crush you in a heartbeat. If he's healthy again, bring in Alan Funk to do some Funkster work here and there whenever Hogan decides to rear his head again, and whenever WWE lets loose somebody that could possibly set the world of wrestling on fire (basically, if they release RVD, Benjamin, Jericho, or anybody else of actual value anytime soon), snatch them up ASAP and let them prove to everybody why Vinnie Mac fucked up. Don't say "hey, Vince, you suck." Say "hey, PEOPLE AT HOME, come see why we're so damn good." There's never one right way to do anything that isn't mathematical or scientific in nature, but there's always wrong ways. I think the wrong way to go about putting TNA over would be to flat-out always say "you won't see that in WWE," because then it makes it seem like TNA are DESPERATE to get attention and kick Vince's ass. Remember: Bischoff's reading of taped Raw results on live Nitro broadcasts came back to bite him in the ass, so talking about how WWE sucks compared to TNA on TNA programming will undoubtedly come back to bite them in the ass as well. I would say the best way to advertise TNA would be to do it on a street level, to get the common wrestling Joe Schmoe that's walking downtown to grab a bite to eat's attention. The street team is still in place, yes? Give them a shitload of flyers. Buy advertisement space on wrestling news sites (Observer, mostly, and WrestleCrap probably wouldn't hurt) and also sports sites (ESPN in particular, though one on an FSN site would be ironic). Buy air-time on various Viacom networks, and cut a deal with Spike to advertise TNA during episodes of the Ultimate Fighter and Unleashed and every other hit show on the network to get the core group of people watching the channel, almost all of which were drawn to it BECAUSE of wrestling in the first place when Raw came over, to see that NEW wrestling is here. Ideally, the first Spike edition of Impact should start with a match that will KICK EVERYBODY'S ASS. Don't make it the best possible match the promotion could put on, but make it damn fine. Samoa Joe vs. Sabin would be just dandy (as I've said earlier). Have the final match be Raven (if he's still World champion) against somebody else that can brawl like a motherfucker, say Ron Killings (that actually sounds like a damn good match, now that I think about it), and end it with a double count-out to set up a rematch for PPV. In between, show one more match, a tag match of some sort (maybe an 8-man tag to further a stable feud or something), and the rest are highlights for various wrestlers and promo's by those that can cut good ones. Basically, in the first hour of being on Spike, you need to show the new viewers just WHY you should be the company they watch.

K, I only voted Shaun over Dead Alive because I think the script in Shaun is so much tighter, and the pacing is better. The cast also had more chemistry than Dead Alive's did (mostly because most of them worked together on a TV show, and I think Simon and Edgar grew up together), and the soundtrack is phenomenal. Though I have gotten more tang watching Dead Alive than I have Shaun...hrmmmm...might need to rethink my stance on this.

We're a rare breed, mang. The lovers of b-grade, grindhouse exploitation horror. I think it's down to vivisecti and a few others now, when almost everybody here was all about it a while ago.

He says "nigga," which I guess is the same as "nigger" to a lot of people here.

Showing misguided pseudo-hippies how to REALLY fuck somebody's shit up without hurting them is always fun. In fact...I think I might go start a protest once I get over this strep throat I have. Maybe protest veganism, or something.

Zombie Apocalypse

I've always thought half of the Aki animations would be hilarious to see in a real match.

I'd take The Devil's Rejects over any number of films that have come out in the past decade or so. Fuck the whole Matrix series, fuck Scarlett Johansen (her acting's about on par with Sheri Moon Zombie's to me, only Sheri has a good psychotic laugh and is a million times hotter), and fuck half of the crap that gets Oscars and other rewards. Zombie uber alles. ...and yes, I am a Rob Zombie fanboy.

Applesaucetaintstink

Oh god no.

...yeah. You are. Devil's Rejects was superb. Stop drinking the Hatorade.

www.amazon.com pal.

91. Everybody likes applesauce.

Forrest/Steve was MINT. I must've missed it the first time (didn't watch TUF much).

You do have a point there. I found his body of WCW work, overall, to be better than his ECW work (at least wrestling-wise, as promo-wise he was a little better in ECW). The feud with Page, the feud with Benoit, tagging with Saturn to take on Benoit/Malenko, even the brawls with Bigelow and "Hak" (Sandman without the cigarettes and beer).

ENGLISH, motherfucker, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

The Spawn director's cut changed all of one scene, and didn't do much for the movie. It's still an enjoyable little piece of shit, but a piece of shit nonetheless. The scene in question: I know the Aliens SE added a LOT to the story, ditto T2, so why does Cameron dislike the T2 director's cut?

I laughed my ass off at that part, personally. And it's funny...because the characters that were so accentuated in the first one, namely Baby and Mother, were the ones that weren't that interesting in this one. The Sheriff was awesome, though, and I marked hard for Ken Foree. I don't see how people could not like this movie. It has horror legends in it, great gore, some fun dialogue exchanges, and a great ending. Plus, during those scenes where you laugh when you know you probably shouldn't be, that's how you know the movie is working (because, to me, exploitation films are about how sick of a society we truly are).

Discovery and TLC went from networks about actual knowledge into "HOW TO REMODEL YOUR HOUSE/GARAGE/CAR/ETC." and the sort.

Agreed. It's worth the purchase.

Well, you've already stated many times you never cared too much for ECW, and ONS was mostly a nostalgia show for the Mutants (which I'm one of), so whatever. I think a nice, blood-filled brawl for the main event at Sacrifice is in order.

68. He could be re-tooled as an avid System of a Down supporter to get over with the kiddies.

0.7 Muta.

Glad to see The Devil's Rejects bring in $7 million, especially with all the hate from people that were expecting it to just be another House of 1,000 Corpses (when it was oh so much better). I guarantee you that it'll sell like hotcakes when it comes out on DVD.

And I love how that conspiracy theory (man never walking on the moon) was shot to all hell by anybody that knows anything about space travel.