kkktookmybabyaway

Fixed. My bad.

Do you have access to the other place?

7:30 p.m. • So sfaJack is having to do some painting or whatever because the Cubs lost. It's amazing what our better halves want to do with the places they live at. Like I said the other day in my entry about those people buying houses just to tear half of it down, why bother? I remember when house-shopping with Mrs. kkk I wanted to do the least amount of renovating possible due to being a lazy bastard. Well, when we settled on our house I was quite glad the amount of refurbishing was minimal. We got new carpeting for the upstairs, but that shit needed a face-lift. Otherwise, I've done jack shit. Mrs. kkk on the other hand... The highlight of her meddling came regarding our first-floor bathroom. I've mentioned before that she repainted this room from a pleasing brisk blue to a shit brown, and she did this when I was out of state for a few days on business. Of course she didn't get the project complete, so imagine my pleasant surprise when, after driving 5+ hours and having to take a monster poop, I ventured in the house and saw plastic all over the place and a ladder in the middle of the bathroom's walkway. Thank God for upstairs toilets. Oh, and here's said bathroom. Now why would some do such a thing? One reason was so it would match our towels~! The second was so she could stencil this shit on the wall. I may have talked about this before, but the search function is busted. If you heard this story already, blame Mole. Why do I have no desire to make home improvements? I said above that I’m lazy, but there’s some probably some childhood trauma I have to consider, too. When I was a kid, my parents bought some big-ass three story house that my dad said they couldn’t afford. My mom busted out the tears and they got the house. I was a kid at the time, but this house needed a shitload of work, and boy did my old man work on this residence. I remember him remodeling the third floor and doing a bunch of stuff with paint, wires and other stuff that’s found inside of walls. What was his reward for all this? A divorce that saw my mom sell the house. Ouch. 11:45 p.m. • Some of this stuff made me chuckle. That's all I got. Just Google the headline if you want a source.

Deadline has come and gone. Vitamin X is using EPs.

8:30 p.m. • So this weekend I saw some MSNBC pseudo-“To Catch a Predator” thing that dealt with child sex shops in Asia. Holy Christ was that messed up. Eight-year-olds promising blowjobs you’d like or your money back. Funny thing was they busted some guy from Oklahoma. He was giving the undercover guy there some “tips” on how to get away with banging kids, and when he was confronted on this back in the States (actually, it was Guam but whatever) you could see his face turn pale once he found out he was busted. Anyway, after this show was some “American Runaways” show, where these idiot teens were homeless, despite having ample opportunity to get housing. My favorite was some trans-sexual/gender who got booted out of her government-funded apartment because he/she couldn’t follow the rules. You know, oppressive things like get a job interview, visit a food pantry and not bringing Johns back to the pad for prostitution. And I’m supposed to feel bad for these people? 12:30 p.m. • So we went to see Ron White last night. Eh. Why the hell were people laughing at material he has already sold on millions upon millions of DVDs? Oh well, if it makes them go home happy, then so be it. Actually, there were several events that happened earlier in the day that made me laugh even more than the two hours I sat at the Benedum Center. Before leaving for this event, Mrs. kkk and I were watching some house show where several people buy houses and the former owners talk about what they liked about their houses and the new owners talk about all the wholesale changes they are going to do to said living residences. This episode centered around several people from New Jersey. Enough said. Jesus were these people annoying. But what got me laughing was that some of these families were getting their houses and making serious changes to it. I’m not talking about a new carpet here and a new paint job there. This one family totally flattened the second floor to the two-story house they purchased. My question is if you’re going to do this kind of remodeling, wouldn’t it have been easier to just find a different house? This couple bought the house for $500,000 and they had a $150,000 budget to remodel. You know what I would do with a $150,000 budget to make remodeling adjustments? I’d buy a big television, PAY OFF my house and put the rest of the money in the bank. Oh well, it’s not my money. After watching this show, we left for downtown Shittsburgh for dinner. Mrs. kkk took me to the Hard Rock Cafe – the first time I’ve ever been in one of these. Overpriced food, but whatever. This was her plan. What was funny is that she made reservations so when we got there we only had a 5-10 minute wait. While waiting, there were a handful of groups, ranging from 2-8 that tried to get seated only to be told there was an approximate 30-minute wait. Uh, people, this is a SATURDAY EVENING in one of the more happening parts of an urban center. Do you expect to get immediate seating? The best moment came with the family of 8 learning that there would be a considerable wait and the husband/dad threw his arms up in the air. Yeah, that’ll do something. Jackass. There was another group of young people who must have been doing something homecoming-related that went in and out in a matter of minutes. Seriously, RESERVATIONS. They are your friend.

I hope Durham is favored.

It's funny how a 162-game season can be flushed away in just three days.

10 a.m. • So about a week ago we bought a new comforter at Targert on clearance. I was a little skeptical about this keeping the better half warm, especially it wasn’t as “thick” as our current comforter, which is on is last legs. However, I must say this mo fo’ is doing the job. Several times already I’ve woken up in a sweat due to this thing. The real test will come in January, but for now it’s coming through with flying colors. When we were at Target, I suggested getting two or three of these comforters because they were on clearance. Mrs. kkk said “Why would we need more than one?” Well this morning JJ threw up on this dry-clean only comforter. Guess where we are going later today? Yep.

If anyone who watched this also saw "The Mullets," which was worse?

Do you need any kind of "training" to be a ref?

Another year closer to the Social Security that won't be there for us.

9:30 p.m. • I don't know if this guy was any good at his job, but not a "cultural fit." What, was he a Republican? 9:30 p.m. • The hell? I always thought he was Mormon, not Jewish. Back to reality. • It’s funny how your opinion about an album can change over the years. Take for example the first disc of 2Pac’s “All Eyes On Me.” Oh, I’m sorry, “All Eyez On Me.” When I first got this album back in 1996, my favorite tracks were “All About U,” “Life Goes On” and “No More Pain.” However, whenever I put this disc in I’ve found myself leaning more toward “2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted” and “Heartz of Men.” Man, I remember back when this album first came out “Life Goes On” was blasting in just about every car/jeep in my corner of suburbia. Thuggin’ ain’t easy. If you ain’t home in time from playing gangsta you’d get grounded. Odd thing is I can’t remember the last time I’ve listened to the second disc of this album. Same goes for the “Remember Me” double-LP that came out after Pac died. Now that I think about it, I can’t recall the last time I’ve listened to a second disc of multi-LP. Let me scan through my CDs. … There’s that Ramones compliation and the ACDC Live album, but I forgot all about Rush’s three-disc Chronicles concert album. Damn that was one good purchase. 8:15 p.m. • Week 5, look alive. (3.5) Arizona @ St. Louis I have no reason other than that the Cards had a big win last week, and the Rams have to win sometime – or at least lose by three. Atlanta @ Tennessee (8.5) Do I think the Falcons will win? No. I just think the Titans won’t win by a lot. Carolina @ New Orleans (3.5) OK, what do I do here? Both teams have fucked me over so far this year. I guess I’ll go with the Saints because the Panthers have boned me more, so now I have to give the Saints a chance to play catch up. Cleveland @ New England (16.5) The Pats have to slip up one of these weeks, but I might as well ride this horse until it breaks a leg or two. Detroit @ Washington (3.5) Hmm, the red people screwed me over against the Giants, but this should be the time of the season when the Lions start showing us why they get so many high first-round picks. (2.5) Jacksonville @ Kansas City For some reason I think this is a steal. Someone from Jacksonville must be hurt or something. Miami @ Houston (5.5) Wow. I was about to go with Miami under the “they must win sometime” rule, but why bother. I kinda feel for Joey Porter playing on a shit team like this, but he’s got his ring and he’s got his money. I just hope he doesn’t suffer some terrible injury while finishing out his career. N.Y. Jets @ N.Y. Giants (3.5) I wonder how much of a home-field advantage the Giants have this game? Seattle @ Pittsburgh (5.5) Hines Ward is out, as is a few other starters. Maybe now Seattle will stop bitching about the Super Bowl. Yeah, the officials hosed you, but you guys lost. Game over. Steelers will score 21. Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis (10.5) My first hunch was to go with the Bucs. I decided against it. Let’s see if I should have went with my first instinct. (3.5) Baltimore @ San Francisco Bummer. And I thought the 49ers were going to take things to the next level. Oh well. San Diego @ Denver (1.5) OK, I’m tired of waiting for the Chargers to turn things around. Chicago @ Green Bay (3.5) I am really tempted to go with the Bears on this one. The Packers are coming off a big week, and this is a divisional game. However, I heard a few people are out on the Bears defense. (10.5) Dallas @ Buffalo LOL – this is the MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL game? Boy did ESPN get dicked over this “Monday Night” agreement. The only two things I can think of in a positive light regarding this abortion that takes place every Monday night is Ron Jaworski – I like him. Plus the game is on at an earlier time.

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 8: Ripper Wha-? Rippers #8? That’s right n*ggaros and n*ggahoes. Actually, he was first pegged in the teens, but thanks to a few bonus points for diversity concerns he moved up, knocking a few crackers down in the process (figuratively and literally). Ripper and I didn't exactly get off to the best of starts, but over time he realized that I was nothing more than some dopey white guy that, like him, didn’t care too much for stick figures. Now even though there are still a number of important issues we don’t agree on, I can deal with most of them. (If he wants to be daddy to some kid that’s not his then who am I to stop him?) Besides, there are so many other things we can find common ground on – like saving kitties and keeping bathroom habits out of the bedroom. However, for the last time, black people don't tip. That's a fact. And pork chops dipped into applesauce is hella good. 9 p.m. • Christ. I heard on the radio tonight that cub scout badges are now being recalled due to lead from ... China. Forget about forming a better army, all these people have to do is fuck with our consumer goods. 5 p.m. • Normally I don’t remember my dreams, but last night’s was a doozy. Well, not really – but I remembered it. I was in this classroom with a few other people I had never seen before. Then Michael Savage comes in and says we have to read our homework assignments to the class. Seeing how I wasn’t around when the homework assignments were given out, I was a little perturbed. After all, I don’t want him to get mad and tell me to die of the AIDS. A few people were to go before me, and from what I heard it seemed that this assignment was to take a person we liked and a person we didn’t like and explain our feelings toward both. When it was my turn I took a blank sheet of paper and pretended like I was reading from that. I began ad-libbing, hoping to make this shit up as I went along. Because I didn’t have time to pick a person I liked and a person I didn’t like, I went with a SWERVE~! And said I was going to take one person and explain what I liked and didn’t like about this subject. My person: Bud Selig. I started with “Good Bud.” I liked the wild card, which made the baseball playoffs more exciting. Also, it allowed more cities to catch the pennant fever in September and gave teams with good seasons the chance to play onward through October. Savage chuckled. I added that attendance has gone up and revenues have been solid, especially considering the state of America’s National Pastime back in the mid-1990s. Then I talked about “Bad Bud,” which got yet another chuckle out of Savage. I didn’t like inter-league play and the Commissioner’s office treating Barry Bonds like he was the only player who roided up during the past decade. The fact Bud turned a blind eye to when home runs were shooting out of ballparks in the late 1990s only made him look worse when he acted like the end-all solution to baseball’s steroid problem was with Bonds. It was about this time that my alarm clock went off, and instead of hitting the snooze button 20 times like I normally do I decided to get the hell out of this unconscious state. Sadly, I’ll never know what my grade ended up being. He seemed interested in the topic, although I think he also knew I was making this shit up as I went along. When compared to the other students that read their reports, I deserved the top grade – at least a B+ if I was to be penalized for, you know, not actually doing the assignment. • In other news, I think I caught a chick checking me out today at a red light. Her windows must have been tinted from the inside. 1 p.m. • Yeah, because no gal EVER wants her dad to give her away at her wedding. Christ, when I started dating the future Mrs. kkk 10+ years ago I saw this book with a list of her future flower girls, ring bearers and all that other shit that people do at weddings.

Unless it's an anecdotal lede. Then you can b.s. all you want for a few hundred words before anyone figures out what you're talking about.

Bastards. Dallas is favored.

(3.5) Arizona @ St. Louis Atlanta @ Tennessee (8.5) Carolina @ New Orleans (3.5) Cleveland @ New England (16.5) Detroit @ Washington (3.5) (2.5) Jacksonville @ Kansas City Miami @ Houston (5.5) N.Y. Jets @ N.Y. Giants (3.5) Seattle @ Pittsburgh (5.5) Tampa Bay @ Indianapolis (10.5) (3.5) Baltimore @ San Francisco San Diego @ Denver (1.5) Chicago @ Green Bay (3.5) (10.5) Dallas @ Buffalo Open Dates: Cincinnati, Oakland, Philadelphia, Minnesota Arizona (Vern Gagne 2-3) d by St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 3-2) 7-8 AZ: STL/ATL/NO/CLE/DET/KC/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/SF/DEN/CHI/DAL/24 STL: STL/ATL/CAR/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/24 DIFF: NO/CAR, CLE/NE, DET/WAS, KC/JAX, PIT/SEA, SF/BAL, CHI/GB Atlanta (King 3-2) d Tennessee (Cuban Linx 2-2) 6-4 ATL: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/KC/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/10 TENN: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/KC/MIA/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/21 DIFF: WAS/DET, HOU/MIA, PIT/SEA, SD/DEN, 10/21 Carolina (Fazzle 4-1) d New Orleans (Cena's Writer 2-2) 7-7+TB CAR: STL/ATL/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/13 NO: STL/ATL/NO/CLE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYJ/SEA/IND/SF/SD/GB/DAL/27 DIFF: NE/CLE, DET/WAS, NYG/NYJ, PIT/SEA, BAL/SF, DEN/SD, 13/27 Cleveland (SFA Jack 3-2) d by New England (nl-asshole 2-3) 6-8 CLE: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/21 NE: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/BUF/38 DIFF: TB/IND, DAL/BUF, 21/38 Detroit (Chazz1998 3-2) d Washington (Human Fly 2-2) 8-7 DET: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/BAL/SD/CHI/BUF/24 WAS: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/22 DIFF: ATL/TEN, DET/WAS, TB/IND, CHI/GB, BUF/DAL Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 1-3) d by Kansas City (Alfdogg 3-2) 5-6 JAX: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/24 KC: STL/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/KC/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/21 DIFF: AZ/STL, DET/WAS, JAX/KC Miami (Spaceman Spiff 4-1) d Houston (Bored 2-3) 6-4 MIA: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/20 HOU: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYJ/SEA/TB/SF/SD/GB/DAL/23 DIFF: NYG/NYJ, PIT/SEA, IND/TB, BAL/SF, 20/23 N.Y. Jets (Gert T 0-5) d by N.Y. Giants (Cartman 2-3) 4-5 NYJ: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/DET/KC/HOU/NYG/SEA/TB/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/14 NYG: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/30 DIFF: ATL/TEN, KC/JAX, SEA/PIT Seattle (Redbaron51 3-2) d by Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 2-3) 5-8 SEA: AZ/TEN/CAR/NE/DET/KC/HOU/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/24 PIT: AZ/ATL/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/SF/DEN/GB/DAL/22 DIFF: TEN/ATL, CAR/NO, DET/WAS, KC/JAX, SEA/PIT, BAL/SF, SD/DEN Tampa Bay (Starvenger 3-2) d Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 1-4) 5-4 TB: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYJ/PIT/TB/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/17 IND: XX/XX/CAR/CLE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/SEA/TB/BAL/DEN/CHI/DAL/28 DIFF: NO/CAR, NE/CLE, WAS/DET, NYJ/NYG, PIT/SEA, SD/DEN, GB/CHI, 17/28 Baltimore (KingPK 2-3) d San Francisco (Bravesfan 3-2) 7-5 BAL: AZ/TEN/CAR/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/SF/SD/GB/DAL/24 SF: AZ/TEN/CAR/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYJ/SEA/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/14 DIFF: NYG/NYJ, PIT/SEA, TB/IND, SF/BAL, 24/14 San Diego (Porter 3-2) d by Denver (Canadian Chris 1-4) 3-7 SD: AZ/TEN/NO/CLE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/TB/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/24 DEN: AZ/ATL/CAR/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/24 DIFF: TEN/ATL, NO/CAR, CLE/NE, TB/IND, 24/24 Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 2-3) d Green Bay (Vitamin X 3-2) 6-6+TB CHI: AZ/TEN/NO/CLE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/CHI/DAL/19 GB: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/EP DIFF: CLE/NE, CHI/GB, 19/EP Dallas (Hawk34 2-3) d by Buffalo (Bob Barron 4-1) 5-7 DAL: AZ/TEN/NO/CLE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/29 BUF: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/DET/JAX/HOU/NYG/PIT/IND/BAL/SD/CHI/DAL/14 DIFF: CLE/NE, WAS/DET, DEN/SD, GB/CHI, 29/14 Open Dates: Cincinnati (Teke 3-1), Oakland (Smues 1-3), Philadelphia (Harley Quinn 4-0), Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 1-3) PLAY AT HOME Tampa Bay (Starvenger) d by Indianapolis (Steve Rogers 2-3) 5-6 TB: AZ/TEN/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYJ/PIT/TB/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/17 IND: AZ/TEN/NO/CLE/WAS/KC/MIA/NYG/PIT/TB/SF/SD/CHI/DAL/27 DIFF: NE/CLE, JAX/KC, HOU/MIA, NYJ/NYG, BAL/SF, GB/CHI, 17/27 Seattle (Redbaron51) d by Pittsburgh (Me 5-0) 5-7 SEA: AZ/TEN/CAR/NE/DET/KC/HOU/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/SD/GB/DAL/24 PIT: STL/ATL/NO/NE/WAS/JAX/HOU/NYG/SEA/IND/BAL/DEN/GB/DAL/21 DIFF: AZ/STL, TEN/ATL, CAR/NO, DET/WAS, KC/JAX, SD/DEN, 24/21

Clip.

10 p.m. • This is why I didn't major in math. 9 p.m. • The hell's wrong with people. • So I guess the lesson here is if you bust black people breaking the law, you're a RACIST. 4:30 p.m. • Gee, you can’t tell this dipshit used to be a high-ranking politician. Jimmy Carter flexing his muscles. Weird. • So I was listening to Mike and Mike this morning, and the skinny Jew was bitching about the MLB playoff games being on TBS because that means some kid whose family didn’t have cable couldn’t watch the games on television. That’s what a radio is for. Besides, I remember a few years ago there was bitching about the games being on too many stations – FX, some family channel, TBS (I think). So shut the fuck up already. Having today’s games on TBS is fine. And if some poor family can’t afford cable, they should be working more anyway. Poor people piss me off.

Bastard. I was looking for that article.

AFC EAST Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 3-1 < PF: 29, PA: 30, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 3-1 < PF: 28, PA: 27, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 2-0 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 1-3 < PF: 23, PA: 28, AFC: 1-3, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-1 > New York Jets (Gert T) 0-4 < PF: 25, PA: 28, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-3 > AFC NORTH Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 3-1 < PF: 34, PA: 26, AFC: 3-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 2-1 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 3-1 < PF: 30, PA: 29, AFC: 3-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 2-0 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 1-3 < PF: 26, PA: 34, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-2 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 1-3 < PF: 24, PA: 25, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-1 > AFC SOUTH Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 2-1 < PF: 25, PA: 20, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 2-0 > Houston Texans (Bored) 2-2 < PF: 31, PA: 28, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 1-2 < PF: 20, PA: 24, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 1-3 < PF: 26, PA: 32, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-2 > AFC WEST San Diego Chargers (Porter) 3-1 < PF: 30, PA: 27, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 2-2 < PF: 31, PA: 31, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-1 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 1-3 < PF: 28, PA: 31, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 1-0 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 0-4 < PF 29:, PA: 39, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 4-0 < PF: 35, PA: 30, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 4-0, DIV: 2-0 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 2-1 < PF: 26, PA: 22, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-1 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 2-2 < PF: 26, PA: 25, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 0-1 > New York Giants (Cartman) 1-3 < PF: 26, PA: 28, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 1-2 > NFC NORTH Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 3-1 < PF: 31, PA: 28, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 1-0 > Detroit Lions (Chazz 1998) 2-2 < PF: 36, PA: 32, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 1-3 < PF: 31, PA: 36, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 1-3 < PF: 25, PA: 33, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-1 > NFC SOUTH Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 3-1 < PF: 33, PA: 25, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 1-1 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 2-1 < PF: 22, PA: 19, AFC: 2-0 , NFC: 0-1, DIV: 0-1 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 2-2 < PF: 29, PA: 33, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 2-0 > Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 2-2 < PF: 23, PA: 26, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 0-1 > NFC WEST San Francisco 49ers (Bravesfan) 3-1 < PF: 29, PA: 28, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 2-1 > Seattle Seahawks (Red Baron51) 3-1 < PF: 38, PA: 30, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 1-1 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 2-2 < PF: 30, PA: 23, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-0 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 2-2 < PF: 27, PA: 31, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 0-2, DIV: 0-2 > PLAY AT HOME Pittsburgh Steelers (Me) 4-0 < PF: 33, PA: 25, AFC: 2-0, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-0 > Indianapolis Colts (Steve Rogers) 1-3 < PF:25, PA: 27, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-1 >

9:30 p.m. • There are times when you read something and another thought from long ago pops up. That happened with a recent Drudge headline. When I saw this: I thought back to an old Willie D song with the following verse: Weird. 7:30 p.m. • So I was reading Jack's blog and I remembered that the MLB playoffs are coming up. Seeing how I batted a perfect 1.000 last year (not getting a single matchup correct in the first round), I might as well do this again. Because I don't want anyone accusing me of copying Mr. SFA, I stopped reading his entry and decided to do my picks before continuing Notes From Cubicle 348J3-29$43*903=284A9@0sP. Let's see: NLDS: Cubs v. Diamondbacks Fuck, I dunno. I'm kinda rooting for the Cubs just so they can win without Racist Dusty. I'm sure Lou will play a lot of white guys when the weather turns cold. However, I totally screwed up my pre-season prediction of the D-backs, so I'll go with them. On second thought, I want to talk about Steve Bartman later on. How's that you stat freaks? D-backs in 4 Cubs in 5. Rockies v. Phillies Both teams played good, and fuck Philadelphia for screwing up my contest with Al Keiper. I might as well jinx these faggots and pick them to move on. Phillies in 3. NLCS: Cubs v. Phillies Great. Two liberal towns. I don't know much about the Daly machine, and Philly gave me Fast Eddie. Kiss my ass Phillies. I heard Chicago is talking about jacking the sales tax up to the highest in the country, but I don't live there so what do I care? Besides, you live in a blue state, you deserve what you get. Wait, I live in Pennsylvania. Sonofabitch. Cubs in 7. ALDS: Angels v. Sox I actually like the Angels, but I heard that roided-up Gary Jr. is hurt. For shame. Hey, I'm actually making a guess based on baseball news. Sox in 3. Yankees v. Indians Cleveland. Pfft. Come on A-Rod, hit the goddamn ball in the postseason. I'm one of your biggest supporters, so don't punk out on me. Hell, Barry Bonds played solid when the Giants went to the Big Show earlier this decade. You can do it, too. I'm sure the Indians are the better team, but the East Coast Bias will make sure we get Yanks vs. Sox Part 3498209. Yankees in 4. ALCS: New York Yankees v. Boston Red Sox. I want the Yanks to win just because they get branded with that evil empire shit. Fuck that. George S. wants to win, so let the man spend his money. Hell, if the Pirates got a TV deal like the Yankees have, those Jews will just pocket all the money anyway. I would have went for the Sox to win, but since they broke their hex a few years ago, that would be no fun to pick. I want the Yankees to move on, but if I pick them that would spell certain doom. Then again, I picked them in the first round so they're probably fucked already. No matter. Sox in 6. WORLD SERIES: Cubs v. Sox Just to give the middle finger to Racist Dusty and to let Steve Bartman off the hook, I'll go with the Cubs. Now I get joking around with the "die Bartman" jokes, but if there are any Cubs fans legit mad, then you losers deserve a team that hasn't won shit for God knows how long. The only good thing to come out of this Bartman thing was when some Howard Stern caller got on SportsCenter and punked out the network. Cubs in 6. Hey, Jack and I picked the same team to win it all. I bet our reasons why are similar, too. 4:30 p.m. • You know you could just move up there. Yeah, I know, political statement and all. I've seen some of the women up in Canada. She's got her work cut out for her. Please note that's a compliment for the femmes north of the border. 7 a.m. • While Smues is talking about technological gizmos to improve his job, let me tell you one gadget that I need on my job: fingers. Fingers to stuff envelopes. Yes, instead of investing in a stuffing machine or outsourcing the labor, every three months my employers give us a big ol’ stack of envelopes to stuff. And of course even though I know these stuffings are coming, I never get told of them until after there’s a stack under my in-box. Why am I talking about this now? Because today was supposed to be an envelope-stuffing day. That is until I discovered THE ENVELOPES WE USE TO STUFF OUR FINANCIAL STATEMENTS IN ARE OUT OF STOCK! Then again, it's possible the person who has to order the envelopes wasn't told of this quarter's great envelope stuffing drive. Once again, I repeat: How does this place manage to stay in business? Then

Are those the actual lyrics to the song, or did they get altered for the show?

That "can't nobody tell me nothing" the look on Brown's face was priceless. I like Vince. And what's the big deal with this time-out thing? If a team has that extra time-out, then they should be allowed to use it.

Depends. I'm sure if you're willing to pay extra you could get tickets for football-crazed places. If you want to go to a place where interest isn't as high you' could probably get them in advance, but I'm sure the experience wouldn't be as fun.

6:15 p.m. • Well we donated blood at a local church for some kid with leukemia and afterward, Mrs. kkk fainted. This of course caused a scene much like the shit you see on any medical drama, only less intense. And with uglier nurses. Always got to cause I scene. She’ll live. What was more dramatic was when I thought there might be some trouble with the computer, only to discover I needed the mouse replaced. I’m such a techie. I also took the day off work hoping to get in some good video-gaming, only to discover the better half decided to take a “me day,” too. Fuck. The only thing worse than when this happens is on Sunday when I have the football games on while doing odds ‘n ends around the house and I get to listen to her bitch “Is this all you’re going to do today?” Let’s see, what did I do yesterday while the games were on: Made 40 bottles of Crystal Light. Clipped and sorted through coupons. Did three loads of laundry. Exercised for 90 minutes. Computed the monthly budget where I document everything we spent and everything we earned. Made dinner. What did she do? Watch “Lord of the Rings.” Married life, folks. Someday this will be you typing. 3 p.m. • So Swift Terror was bitching about the new Jew tactic teams are doing at the end of games when a field goal kicker is about to boot the pigskin and the opposing coach calls “time out.” I don’t really see the big deal. Yeah, it’s lame, but like Mr. Terror said, just wait until the “timed-out” kick goes wide right and the mulligan goes through the uprights. If the NCAA and NFL want to “ban” this, then whatever. The only thing I object to is the potential for injury when play is stopped right when the ball is snapped. Just let them play out the down and let them know a time out was called before the play. Besides, teams should know by now that the opposing coach will probably employ this strategy and just treat the whole thing as a warm-up routine. But to get “offended” over all this, which is what I’ve seen on a few ESPN/NFL pre-game shows, is just a bit too much. 10:30 a.m. So when the baseball season began Al Keiper and I made predictions as to win totals for each baseball team. Time to see the damage. Teams in bold were correct predictions. Actual wins are in (). Al kkk-eiper's picks NL EAST Philadelphia Phillies 88.5 UNDER (89) New York Mets 88.0 OVER (88) Atlanta Braves 81.5 OVER (84) Washington Nationals 66.5 OVER (73) Florida Marlins 78.5 UNDER (71) NL CENTRAL Chicago Cubs 85.5 UNDER (85) Milwaukee Brewers 81.5 UNDER (83) St Louis Cardinals 84.5 OVER (78) Houston Astros 78.5 OVER (73) Cincinnati Reds 76.5 UNDER (72) Pittsburgh Pirates 71.5 UNDER (68) NL WEST Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 UNDER (90) Colorado Rockies 74.5 OVER (89) San Diego Padres 84.0 OVER (89) Los Angeles Dodgers 88.5 OVER (82) San Francisco Giants 81.5 OVER (71) AL EAST Boston Red Sox 90.5 OVER (96) New York Yankees 97.0 UNDER (94) Toronto Blue Jays 86.5 UNDER (83) Baltimore Orioles 73.5 UNDER (69) Tampa Bay Devil Rays 67.0 UNDER (66) AL CENTRAL Cleveland Indians 84.5 UNDER (96) Detroit Tigers 87.5 UNDER (88) Minnesota Twins 83.5 UNDER (79) Chicago White Sox 86.5 OVER (72) Kansas City Royals 67.5 UNDER (69) AL WEST Los Angeles Angels 89.5 UNDER (94) Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88) Oakland Athletics 84.5 OVER (76) Texas Rangers 81.5 UNDER (75) Total Correct = 15 Al Keiper's picks NL EAST New York Mets 88.0 OVER (88) Atlanta Braves 81.5 OVER (84) Philadelphia Phillies 88.5 UNDER (89) Florida Marlins 78.5 UNDER (71) Washington Nationals 66.5 UNDER (73) NL CENTRAL Chicago Cubs 85.5 UNDER (85) Milwaukee Brewers 81.5 OVER (83) St Louis Cardinals 84.5 OVER (78) Houston Astros 78.5 UNDER (73) Cincinnati Reds 76.5 OVER (72) Pittsburgh Pirates 71.5 OVER (68) NL WEST Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 OVER (90) Colorado Rockies 74.5 OVER (89) San Diego Padres 84.0 UNDER (89) Los Angeles Dodgers 88.5 UNDER (82) San Francisco Giants 81.5 UNDER (71) AL EAST Boston Red Sox 90.5 OVER (96) New York Yankees 97.0 UNDER (94) Toronto Blue Jays 86.5 UNDER (83) Baltimore Orioles 73.5 OVER (69) Tampa Bay Devil Rays 67.0 OVER (66) AL CENTRAL Cleveland Indians 84.5 OVER (96) Detroit Tigers 87.5 UNDER (88) Minnesota Twins 83.5 OVER (79) Chicago White Sox 86.5 UNDER (72) Kansas City Royals 67.5 OVER (69) AL WEST Los Angeles Angels 89.5 OVER (94) Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88) Oakland Athletics 84.5 OVER (76) Texas Rangers 81.5 OVER (75) Total Picks = 16 Now I guess I could say that if I would have gotten just one of the 15 incorrect picks right, then I would have tied our board's baseball expert, but I'd rather make it sound more dramatic. If the Phillies would have lost just one more game we would have tied! Yeah, that sounds much better than pointing out some of my gems: Arizona Diamondbacks 77.5 UNDER (90) Cleveland Indians 84.5 UNDER (96) Chicago White Sox 86.5 OVER (72) Seattle Mariners 75.5 UNDER (88)