kkktookmybabyaway

6:15 p.m. • We got some more worst things you can do to a Muslim male/female/child. Across the pond, the Muslim Council of Britain announced its demands for banning "un-Islamic" activities in England's government schools. The funniest thing about all this is that I wanted to single out each offense, but that would have overloaded my quote tag quota for this entry. • You know, we got predatory lenders after old people, families taking out adjustable-rate mortgages for houses they can’t afford and act all shocked when their rates go up, and now college students unable to get decent loans for their higher learning expenses. Maybe we are country made up of people too stupid to take care of ourselves. Lord knows we have enough registered Democrats. • Regarding Danica Patrick’s push of that male driver. I’ve never had a reason to say anything bad about you, but bitch you better be glad that you pushed him and not me. Great, now the PTI guys are like “Wow, this Danica/Whoever rumble is GREAT!” Yeah, too bad if the pusher and pushee roles were reversed, there would be OUTRAGE~! Hypocrites. Back in my college days, this annoying bitch gave me a push. Guess what? I pushed her back. She was SHOCKED and OFFENDED. Equal treatment my ass. I don't advocate beating the other sex but I do advocate equality. 6 p.m. • The Michael Wilbon rimjobbing of Gary Sheffield continues today. “OMG a Latino player defended Gary in the Detroit Free Press Today/Gary Sheffield is my hero for speaking out against the Man.” You forgot to wipe some spooge from your chin there, Michael. I know he's your boy and all.

I agree about Hanson. I never understood the hate. If memory serves, they played their own instruments and they seemed to be decent kids. How awful. (I seem to remember hearing a while back that one knocked up some chick.) She never pretended to be a "role model," so I give her a pass. Want to hate someone regarding her situation: hate the media. She's just taking advantage of the free pub.

Oh no, I hope this doesn't mean Ford will lose money.

After 12+ hours of standing around and getting pictures taken in 90+-degree weather with high humidity, all while wearing a tux, as I entered my hotel room on my wedding night I thought, "Man, now I also have to have sex? I just want to go to sleep." So this was like just any other day for me.

Well, there is a food folder.

I go out there and give it my 110 percent with every post. And you'll probably be too tired to fuck at day's end, even with all your cardio.

Sadly, the arcades many of us knew as kids are gone. There were a few good ones in my youth, too. And no Pong jokes because I have already beaten you all to it.

kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 23: Bored He’s got a hard-on for win shares, and a fiending for punishment, seeing how he has organized a TSM pick ‘em college football contest for the last few years. I was in on this action last season and did fairly well, even though I had no clue as to what I was doing. (But when is that ever not the case?) In the end I wound up getting sodomized by Kotz in the Meow Mix Pussy Bowl – oh, yeah, and Kotz correctly predicted more games during Bowl Week than I did. I should be sad that I didn’t win the title, not to mention the $50 grand prize, but considering Division I college football has no postseaon and thus produces no real champion, I guess we are all winners in the end. Talk about a self-esteem boost. And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From SFA Jack: • Once again, the GOP has its head up the elephant’s ass. You want this guy out? Do everything you can to keep him in Congress! Let him parade in front of the cameras saying he did no wrong even though he has thousands upon thousands of dollars stashed away in refrigerators. OMGCULTUREOFCORRUPTION~! • So the better half’s one friend has a kid who said that he was going to “cut her up with his saw.” He’s four. I like this chap. • Man, this brought back one heck of a memory. When I was doing this “driving school” shit, I was picked up one day by the instructor and this chick from another school. As we turned out onto this one road at a three-way intersection, the chick ended up in the wrong lane with a big-rig coming right at us. For some reason, I dove to the other side of the back seat (like that would have accomplished anything) while the instructor grabbed the steering wheel and put us back on course. Years later, my one friend told me that this guy said to my friend’s class that I was the worst driver he ever instructed. Was my friend serious? I don’t know. But then again why would he make this up? (He said that the instructor's biggest peeve was that I never braked when approaching stoplights and stop signs, which is odd because I've got seniors flipping me off due to my slow driving and gradual braking.) Well, it’s been 15 years since I got my license and I’m still accident-free (there’s been a few bumps, but nothing has been reported to insurance). Fuck you, Mr. Ptchak. Actually, there was one accident, but when you’re parked at a gas station, and the Silverado in front of you doesn’t want to way two minutes for her turn to fill up and suddenly peels out in reverse and smashes into your in-law’s car, there’re really nothing you can do about that. 1 p.m. • Scooter Libby got sentenced to 30 months. Whatever. The whole story is stupid. Didn't follow it. Don't care. This got me thinking though –– I wonder what the big OUTRAGE will be when W. makes his end-of-term pardons? Will it be someone from Halliburton? Big Tobacco? Someone from the Weekly Standard? We only have 18 more months to wait. • While I’m on the jailbird topic, I don’t have much to say about Paris Hilton and her hard time. I’ve defended Paris on a number of occasions. No, I’m not hoping for a hummer in return for my loyalty –– I just don’t hate her like how other people do. She’s rich and a ditz. She made her fortune with goofy reality shows and made her fame with dirty videos. Although I doubt she can name her Congressional Representative, I’m sure she’s keener than most people think she is. However, I’m not going to say, “OMG she should be set free.” This jail term stems from her driving under the influence, and I only thank God for her sake that nobody was hurt in her recklessness.

Well then I'm sure the judge is a red diaper doper baby, meaning your wedding certificate would be a "living, breathing document," meaning you could probably get out of this bondage whenever you wanted with little or no financial hit.

While I've never listened to his show, I hope he can find a market amidst the overnight tinfoil hat slot.

Yeah. I must admit I'm not looking as hard as I would be if I was unemployed. The best time to look for a new job is when you already have one.

I've listened to a few of his shows via download. Not bad. I'll give him a listen in the early morning before Boortz comes on. I like his non-guest segments best, but depending on the guest, I'll play that segment as well.

Doesn't work. She'll just bitch louder. Zoning out works just fine. Regarding the vendors: They weren't the problem at my bachelor funeral. The less family you have there, the better. On the bright side, because you'll be away getting pictures taken of you and Mrs. Smitty, along with making the rounds thanking everyone for coming, the day will go by rather quickly. And you better not be marrying no queers.

8:30 p.m. This is why I hate applying for jobs. I get on-line and have to fill out some hippie application. Why in the hell does anyone want to know where I've lived for the past 10 years is beyond me, but I digress. I play this stupid game and spend nearly two hours filling out all this retarded shit. So what happens after I've completed all the forms/questions/etc.? The goddamn form doesn't submit! I should stop here and not mention that I printed out all this information before submitting so I don't have to re-hash all the places I've lived/worked since 1997, but that's not the point. Well, yes it is, considering I'll probably have to re-type all this shit in again. 6:30 p.m. OK, now this is a bit creepy. "Jug"? 6 p.m. • If you’ve watched ESPN anytime in the last few days, chances are you’ve seen I admit, the “grenade” toss made me laugh. • I don’t know why anyone would rip on Gary Sheffield. I agree with him wholeheartedly. If American businesses want to hire illegals because they work hard and don’t bitch, then why should it be any different in baseball? LOL, and Michael Wilbon is defending Gary on PTI just as I’m typing this. Now that’s a shocker. • Roger Clemens is not pitching tonight due to a sleepy groin, and I heard on the radio today that he will possibly start later this week against the Pirates. Great move, Yankees. Let the Rocket tune up one more time with a minor-league team before facing professional lineups. Actually, I shouldn’t be too hard on the Pirates. They have the same win total as the Bronx Bombers. Sadly enough, last week a local newspaper ran this story: 7 a.m. • So Billy Donovan is going back to the University of Florida. I guess it's better than deciding not wanting to coach professional ball after game number 42 of next year's NBA regular season.

11 a.m. • So late last week I was watching a “locked up” shows on MSNBC – you know, those “life in the big house” documentaries. I could only watch about 10 minutes of this one episode before changing the channel in disgust. Here’s why. We learned the story of some young man who had been originally slated to get the needle, but then the Supreme Court made their judgment about not allowing executions if the murderer was of minor age. OK, fair enough. You may agree with this or not, and some say that life in jail may be a better punishment anyway. What was the problem? The narrator added that this guy had lawyers trying to get this piece of shit out of jail. And the ACLU and its America-hating comrades wonder why many people endorse the death penalty. If we want to off prisoners, let the private sector handle it – give Bubba a carton of Camels to shank the guy that murdered your family.

Spike's 007 Fests usually take place during Thanksgiving/Christmas. Besides, these were commercial-free, so they weren't 3+ hours long.

11:45 p.m. • Every month or so I'll browse my OnDemand free movies just to see what's going on. For some reason the "Movieplex" selections don't always appear in the general "free movies" area, and oftentimes I'll forget it's even there. Today I remembered to check it, and lo' and behold what's on the plate for this month? The first five James Bond films. Tis' going to be a good month, tater. • Uh, guys... ...you might want to think twice about striking. The space program doesn't have that same "oooh, ahhh" effect on the public as it did 40 years ago. Then again, this is the government we're talking about. Five-hundred percent raises for all. 3:45 p.m. • Oh Karl Rove, why couldn't you have sped this up a bit? We might still be in charge of Congress otherwise. I don’t get the big whoop terrorists have with airplanes. Why not strike an electrical grid or mess with out food supply? Believe me, you’d frighten many more people if they can’t use their air conditioner or go out for a Big Mac.

7:15 p.m. • I missed "Around the Horn" yesterday, so today was the first I heard of JA Adande leaving the LA Times. In his final column, he talks about accepting a buyout offer. I guess that's better than showing up for work one day only to find an abandoned building. I like him on the "Horn," so here's hoping he moves on to bigger and better things when he's not working 5-5:30 p.m. ET. 7 p.m. • I heard about this a few days ago on a local RIGHT-WING RADIO show, and even though that final episode would have been a bitch for the people that didn’t get awarded the kidney, this could have been a good idea. Let me explain. By telling the stories behind those people who need a transplant to survive in a compelling manner, I think this could encourage people to donate. Of course, then there will be an episode showing my crack-whore sister-in-law wailing about needed a liver transplant due to years of drug abuse. Oh, speaking of her, the out-of-control niece has been living with her mother, the crack-whore, for a few weeks now and has already been kicked out. The best story to come out of this time was when the crack-whore took her daughter’s work clothes to the laundromat because her 20-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER wouldn’t. And what was the crack-whore’s reward for doing this? The daughter/out-of-control niece in-law bitched because she didn’t iron her outfits after washing them. 12 p.m. • Good for LeBron. Now maybe people will shut up about the first two games of this series. I’m all on James’ nuts. I admit it. • Speaking of basketball, the Florida U coach is going to Orlando. I don’t know, nor care, if he succeeds in the NBA or not. At least he’s going to a young team, or at least that’s what I heard about the Magic when they were getting beat by Detroit in the first round. If it was me, I’d probably stay at my safe, well-paying job and lounge off of my spoils of winning two college titles. Then again, this was probably the best time for Donovan to strike while the iron is hot, so more power to him, even though the article also stated that it was likely that Florida would have given him a similar raise.

I've talked about my kids often enough at this place, so I'm not going to repeat myself. You all know what I'd be saying, though.

8 p.m. • This was an article about how we pamper out pets. It’s a long read, so I’m just highlighting all the things I admit to doing. Because I get a limited number of “quote” uses per entry, the article snippets will be in boldface. Some 56 percent of dog owners and 42 percent of cat owners buy their pets Christmas presents. *Raises hand.* I should note that I don’t actually buy the toys, Mrs. kkk does. But I’ll cop to it anyway. ]Pets can listen to their own Internet radio station (Elvis Presley’s “Hound Dog” is one of the more popular songs on DogCatRadio.com), post their pictures and make play dates on dogster.com and catster.com, and earn frequent flier miles on United. They even have cell phones now: PetsCell is a bone-shaped telephone that attaches to your dog’s collar and allows you to ring him up (sorry, incoming calls only). And there’s a new beer for dogs (from Amsterdam, no less), called Kwispelbier, which is Dutch for “waggy tail” brew. OK, so all I do is post pics of the kids on-line. None of that other stuff. The recent scare over tainted pet food has made feeding your animal a pricey proposition: I’ve switched Samantha to “holistic” kibble and wet food, hormone-free chicken strips and handmade cookies from a local dog bakery, along with the occasional whole-roasted chicken that we share for dinner. Well, my three have special food, but Max needs his diet because of urinary problems. The other two get better food than Meow Mix and Friskies, but because this stuff has less filler they don’t eat as much, so I’m sure costs get evened out in the end. But is all this coddling for our pets, or is it for us? A growing number of animal behaviorists, researchers and trainers think we’ve gone off the deep end, anthropomorphizing and infantilizing our pets to the point that we’ve forgotten an essential biological truth: at the level of basic instinct, Tabby is a wildcat and Fido is a wolf. Yeah, look at these two. Wildcats indeed (although I’m sure Dessa wouldn’t mind killing a bird. She’s lunged at a few before when out on the porch.) Understand this, the experts say, and you will comprehend such mysteries of the universe as why your cat prefers to sharpen its nails on your favorite sofa and your dog insists on rolling in manure after getting a bath. Ignore the call of the wild in your pet, and you not only diminish the quality of its life; you open yourself to all sorts of bad behavior, from the merely annoying (your cat pees on the bed) to the potentially deadly (snarling pit bulls). Well no shit. I hate people who bitch about their cats scratching furniture. What do you want them to do? Our two couches have been ruined for years. Big deal. That’s what happens when you own cats. Christ, if your kid runs around the house and knock something over you don’t break his legs. If your niece picks up something she shouldn’t have and drops it, you don’t chop off her fingertips. Why should animals be any different? When it comes to the animals that share our homes and even our beds (63 percent of cat owners and 42 percent of dog owners sleep with their pets, according to the APPMA), we humans tend to have a tough time accepting biological reality. Our cats, particularly Dessa, sleep with us, but I think she does it to stay away from the other two in the house. Its not like we call her – she just hops up, makes a nest and lays down. Much of what we consider “bad” behavior is merely a pet’s acting out its basic needs. “People see the cat scratching on their beautiful couch, and they don’t want me to tell them it’s a normal behavior,” says feline behavior consultant Pam Johnson-Bennett, author of the book “Hiss and Tell: True Stories from the Files of a Cat Shrink.” “But you have to realize that scratching is a need a cat has. It’s rooted in their survival.” The trick, then, isn’t to get the cat to stop scratching, but to make it scratch something you don’t value. Johnson-Bennett suggests a scratching post wrapped with sisal or rope—she says the carpeted kind don’t allow the cat to dig its nails in deep enough to be satisfying. She’s also big on “cat trees”: a series of perches that allow felines to climb and leap as they would in the wild. Doesn’t work. Buy them a $100+ play set to climb on and they’ll sit in the box it came in for weeks on end, not even acknowledging the feline jungle gym in the corner of the room. Years ago the better half built one of these godawful concoctions and NOBODY got near it. That was until we tore it down and suddenly the broken-down pieces became instant hits, much to Mrs. kkk’s chagrin. Indeed, veterinarians say obesity is the greatest health threat facing America’s pets, with at least a quarter of the population overweight (that compares with a 30 percent obesity rate in American adults). Most pet owners don’t realize that when a pet is the correct weight, you can feel the outline of its ribs. “We’re so used to seeing overweight cats that when we see a healthy one, we think it’s too skinny.” Eh, my opinion is there are enough starving kitties out there. If my three have a few pleasure pounds, I don’t really care. That’s why they get the special diet. What can’t be bred out of dogs is the trait that makes them bond so well with humans: the pack instinct. What we call “loyalty” in our dogs may actually be a result of the wolf’s nature as a pack animal: the bonding and sociality that keep a wolf pack together are what drive the domesticated dog to stick with its owner. “The family unit here just happens to be cross-species,” says Samuel Gosling, a psychologist at University of Texas, Austin, who specializes in canine research. The fact that wolves are pack animals and wildcats aren’t may help explain why we perceive dogs as loving and needy, and cats as independent and aloof. Interesting. I didn’t think about that. 7:30 p.m. • Fucking asshole. Whoever pulled that shit should be rounded up and beat to death. I take the Fort Pitt tunnels to and from work, and I also go through the Squirrel Hill tunnels if I'm not picking up the better half from her job. I leave at 3 p.m. so I missed all this action (or lack of action due to the tunnel closings). I can't imagine what the back-ups must have been like. 12 p.m. • No wonder the Left loves Hugo Chavez. (LOL regarding the Carter Center.) Once Hitlerly gets elected President, along with a Democrat Congress and Senate, in '08, say goodbye to RIGHT-WING RADIO!

C-Bacon, don't ever change.

Here's the Attack of the Show chick I'm talking about. I have no idea if she was in some 360 release. The host of the show that features cheats and codes is Kristen Holt. The voice is annoying, but I'm not complaining about anything else (although she's just one year older than the chick mentioned above). The sad thing is the most use I get from my On Demand service is watching video game reviews and the occasional cheat, although many of the "cheats" I've seen are stupid. In order to beat the level 3 boss ... just run around and shoot your gamma gun at his nose ... don't give up!

Eh, I'd bang her. However, when I was watching that Star Wars special I thought, "God, she looks so young." At least I know Morgan Webb's the same age as Mrs. kkk. Wait, that chick is 25?

And think of all the gas we'll save with one more driver off the roads.

7:45 p.m. • There is justice in the world. I consider myself to be a don’t-do-the-crime-if-you-can’t-do-the-time type of person, but with all the shit that has gone down over the past year for these people the least Duke can do is let them re-do a season. Then again, after how the Duke team got thrown under the bus, I’m surprised anyone from that team is still around at that university. • Best Buy employees, be on alert. There will be retaliation from the reds. • Awesome. So the U.S. is spreading cancer to Asia. And who says we don’t export anything over there? • I guess not everybody learned the lesson the XFL provided us earlier this decade. 8:45 a.m. • And here I thought Anakin's problem was being p-whipped.