The Amazing Rando

Good job, security...walk him PAST THE OPEN DOOR to Edge's dressing room.

They must think that him wrestling > than him giving another horrible in ring promo like last week. I could only stand hearing the word RAW be botched so many times. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> But...But...that's how he RAWLS.

I'll try my best to set the ring on fire.

He's doing UFC? I can't imagine he'll do too well. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> That'd be hilarious...he'd go for the Twist of Fate and get punched in the kidney like 9 dozen times. "NOW WHEN I PISS IT IS 2XTREEEEEEEEEME!"

If he got liquified...he'd be a pail bastard.

Well... not only is Edge doing everything RIGHT in this story... Matt is...WRESTLING THE GUY THAT ABORTED HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S RAPIST HUSBAND'S BABY!

"Hey...uhm... Hi...I'm a poster on an internet wrestling messageboard. I'm not thirteen I swear. Anyways, I'm thinking maybe one night we could go out and rent a movie, maybe something like Spy Kids 3D or something. I'm not thirteen I swear. Then, maybe we can lay in my bunkbed...BUT I GET THE TOP...and you can tell me about what it was like when you met John Cena and that big fat idiothead Randy Orton. Did he take a poo in your purse, cause that would be funny HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... ...but i'm not thirteen, I swear. Your friend, Hunter"

You're a great big phony you know that?!!!?!

"If things didn't go my way...I would just lay back, wipe it out of my eyes...and then tell him to 'aim for the face next time, Mr MacMahon'..."

"I used to get run over by divas and soft grazing forearms... but then, one night, I was locked in the Walls of Jericho for eight minutes and twenty three seconds. My mother almost threw in the towel, but luckily Mike Cena...I think that was his name...decided to stop drinking his fucking coffee and save me. But...I had seen the light! I HAD SEEN THE LIGHT!"

These are the kind of questions that hit you while watching the brillant material wwe has. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I want Shopzone Conway see-through panties myself... ....I mean, CHICKEN FRIES!!!

"I knew Chad Patton, I wrestled Chad Patton...and YOU SIR are NO CHAD PATTON~!"

STEP ONE: REMEMBER HHH STEP TWO: ...... STEP THREE: PROFIT!

I don't think Dvon Dudley ever refereed.

I'd watch Champion Nick Patrick, especially if he brought back the EVIL NWO MASK OF DOOM!

Because Smackdown doesn't have referees that wrestle.

Come on Jericho...just barely graze him with your forearm and you'll knock him out cold!

If this was a match, that slap would have put him down for at least five minutes.

"Hey Chris, I want to see If I can lock on my new move...the MasterCock."

Eugene should have superkicked Hogan and did the HBK lunge pose in the middle of the ring, then crotchchopped the Hulkster and left.

You mean Colacas. Colacas was Vis' midget partner. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> They should call him Diet Cola. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Bacardi and Cola...they get the job done! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Playing the part of Bacardi.... Jake Roberts!

I'm not an alien.

*whistles innocently* Edit: Hell, even JUST TODAY, for some reason I randomly spouted out "Hey, he sings the additional grip electric!", much to the confusion of my co-workers.

Well...we had Tatanka last week...he could have Ivan Putski this week.

William H Macy was born in the same hospital as me, or at least I'm quite positive. The hospital is in his birthtown.