KingPK

Well Bob, look at the competition it had. Supernanny? Bernie Mac? What I Like About You? Not exactly powerhouses. You yourself said it was going to do well its first week. The new season of Cheap Seats started last Monday with a Nathan's Hot Dog Eating contest episode. They dumped the studio audience, which was a huge plus and seemed to have improved the comedy skits as well (though having David Cross to work with helps a lot).

Hoff's been gone for nearly two weeks, so looks like I'm flying solo for the main. I hope to get it done before Pats-Steelers tomorrow. EDIT: And if everything leading up to the ending isn't very good, you'll know which part I had mostly figured out in my head and was looking to Hoff to fill out the rest.

All right, knock this crap off. Keep it up and you're taking a vacation for a few days.

Holy crap, Ghost Whisperer wasn't bad. Yes, there was a good amount of hammy acting (mostly from the son of the dead soldier), but the ending was nice. Though Hewitt's EMT husband rethinking his career after one guy almost dies on him was a little much.

Ghost Whisperer might draw a big female audience, but if Bill Simmons' articles have taught me anything recently, it's that most women consider Hewitt a spawn of Satan and hate her immensly. And I saw her on Letterman recently. She got a concussion during a fucking TABLE READING when she crawled under the table to greet a fellow actor, instead of just walking around the table like normal people, and got a steel chair rammed into her head. I mean, what the fuck?

I believe it is Gino Cappaletti for the Pats, but Vinatieri is poised to pass him very soon, I think.

What, do we have John Sterling posting at TSM now? One "THAAAAA YANKEES WIN!" and you're banished to Graphics and Testing.

Yeah, about damn time the networks finally jumped off the reality TV wagon and is actually giving us some good series again. EHC is probably the best of them this year (Invasion was ok, as was How I Met Your Mother) Next week's show looks great too. "If that happens again, someone's getting stabbed!"

I concur with EHC being one of the best shows this season. Fantastic, funny characters without making them into parodies. The kid who plays Chris is great. "If you make any noise, then I'll have to punch you in the face. If I punch you in the face, then daddy will kill me and go to jail. Do you want daddy to go to jail?"

First a little backstage thing that goes before it. Doesn't have to be right before it, though. We cut backstage to the always personable Maria at the interview position. MARIA My guest right now is the man who will face Hoff at Dirty Deeds, the Oat Toast X-Division Champion, Peter Knight! The crowd cheers as PK steps into the frame, dressed for battle with his title belt slung over his shoulder. MARIA So, PK, you said last week that you will defend your X-Title tonight, but you wouldn’t say who your opponent was? Can you tell me now? KNIGHT Sorry honey, like I said last week, everyone will find out when it’s time for the match. But I will say that I picked an opponent that I know will give me a good match, just like Hoff did with Tha Puerto Rican. MARIA I didn’t see that match last week. I was in the control booth watching the first Survivor. I taped it, in case people missed it and wanted to borrow it. I don’t know why the director yelled at me so much though. KNIGHT Uh….yeah. Anyway, because I want him to get a good look at what he’s gonna face at Fenway, I’m extending an invitation to Hoff to go down to ringside and join the guys at Sofa Central. MARIA Is that some kind of furniture place? KNIGHT So get a comfortable seat Hoff, because you’re going to see a hell of a show. And the match The arena lights go dark.... *BOOM*BOOM*BOOM*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!* The crowd explodes as "Black" hits the arena loudspeakers. The sound of the cheers swells as the song pumps through the air and the OAOAST Heavyweight champion steps onto the stage. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your guest commentator….HOFF!! Hoff, decked out in his “H” t-shirt and jeans, raises his belt for the crowd as he walks down the ramp, making a lap around the ring apron and egging the crowd on before he hops down and takes his place in Sofa Central next to Cole. COLE Hoff, this never gets old, does it? HOFF Never. CABOOSE It does on this side of the table. HOFF Aww come on ‘Boosey, let’s have some fun out here. PK said for me to get comfortable, so I think I’ll just put MY World Title belt right here (places it on the announce table) and kick my feet up. Come on, Buffer, “Lllet’s get ready to rrrrumble” and all that. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Llladies and gentlemen, the following contest, scheduled for one fall with a 45 minute time limit, is for the OAOAST X-Division championship. “YEAHHHHHHHH!!!” CUE: [i]Oh Hell Yeah[/i] “YEAHHHHHHHHH!!!!” The Vegas crowd erupts once again as the X-Champion Peter Knight walks out onto the stage, though there are some audible boos and “HOFF!” chants mixed in with the roar. BUFFER Introducing first: from Fall River, Massachusetts, he weighs in at two hundred and sixty-five pounds. He is the reigning X-Division Champion….Peterrrrrrrr Kniiiiiight!! Knight stares straight ahead as he walks to the ring, stepping through the ropes and nearly throwing his belt over to referee Charles Robinson before he leans over the ropes towards Sofa Central, telling Hoff to take some notes. COLE Take it easy, Hoff. HOFF Hey, I’m not going to cause any trouble. I’ll let the hothead do his thing, though I don’t know if he can have as tough a fight than I had with Tha Puerto Rican last week. COLE That was a great match, wasn’t it? CABOOSE Oh, absolutely. COACH Match of the year. I especially liked when Hoff….. HOFF Hey, hey, let’s not spoil anything for people that haven’t seen it yet. BUFFER And his opponent……… CUE: Generic rock music. COLE Who is this? I don’t recognize this music. All eyes turn to the entrance as a thin, fairly lanky 21 year old kid walks out onto the stage. His hair is long and dirty blonde, he wears jean shorts and a shirt that is basically a near-ripoff of Matt Hardy’s (with the back reading “I will not quit.”) BUFFER And his opponent, making his OAOAST debut: From Little Rock, Arkansas, he weighs in at two hundred and seven pounds……Trrrrrrevorrrrrr Nelllllllsonnnnnnn!!! COACH Trevor Nelson? Is this the same Trevor Nelson that’s in OAOVW? COLE Looks like it. A strange choice of opponent for Peter Knight tonight, wouldn’t you say Hoff? HOFF No, I know what he’s trying to do here. I thought PK was smarter than this. Nelson runs down the ramp and hops over the ropes, a bundle of energy and excitement for not only his first OAOAST match, but his first title shot as well. Robinson checks both men for foreign objects and calls for the bell. *DING DING* Knight charges at the rookie before he can get out of his corner, peppering him with rights, snapping Nelson’s head back with every impact. Knight sets him up and whips him into the opposite corner, quickly charging in after him with a clothesline that sends Trevor recoiling off the corner and flat on his back. Knight quickly drags him up by his hair and shoves him into the corner again, this time switching to some stiff forearms to the face. Robinson finally has to step in between to give the kid a rest. COLE Knight is definitely keyed up for this match, that’s for sure. I don’t know if we’ve ever seen this brutal a side of Peter Knight. CABOOSE You taking notes now, Hoff? Knight pushes Charles away and drags Trevor to the center of the ring, hooking him in a front facelock, hooking his tights and….. *BAM* One vertical suplex *BAM* A second. *BAM* A third. *BAM* A FOURTH vertical suplex. Knight picks him up again and holds the position, walking around the ring to show off. COLE Knight about to hit the falcon arrow to complete the Knight Roll here. But instead of dropping him forward, Knight jumps up and brings him downward, driving him into the mat on the back of his neck with a delayed jumping brainbuster. “OOOOOHHHH!” Trevor groans in pain as Robinson checks on him, but Nelson shakes his head when asked if he wants to stop the match. Knight smiles as he sees this and picks him up once again, hoisting him onto his shoulders and driving him to the mat with the Knightmare. Knight quickly pops up and puts him in position once more. COLE Come on, end this! HOFF I really can’t believe what I’m seeing from this guy right now. Knight walks towards the side of the ring where Sofa Central sits and points at Hoff. CABOOSE I don’t think I need to translate that for you, Hoff. Knight sharply spins Trevor off his shoulders and…… *WHAM* Forcefully drives him face first to the mat with a second Knightmare. COACH I hope this ends this. Knight, looks down at the fallen Nelson as Robinson begs him to pin him and end the match, but Knight looks over to Hoff once again and shakes his head. KNIGHT Not yet. He kicks Nelson back onto his back and walks over to his legs. COLE Come on, not that. Knight steps in-between them and turns him over, immediately slapping the Ace in the Hole on the near unconscious kid right in front of Hoff so that Hoff can see Trevor’s face and Knight’s. Robinson doesn’t even check on Nelson, choosing instead to immediately call for the bell. Some cheers come from the crowd, but most are stunned. BUFFER LLadies and gentlemen, here is your winner, and STILL the OAOAST X-Division Champion….Peterrrrr Kniiiiight!!! Knight waves at Buffer to give him the mic, but Hoff stands and puts up his hand, asking for it himself. COLE Careful, Hoff. Hoff grabs his title belt and slings it over his shoulder as he walks up the ring steps and steps through the ropes. HOFF So, this was your big plan? Show off how “ruthless” you are and try to intimidate me? Peter, I thought you knew better than this. I’ve been watching you ever since you came back here; I KNOW what you’re all about. I know you bring it 100% every time you step into this ring. You didn’t need to pound some kid that’s barely been in the business to show that I have a tough fight ahead of me on Sunday. But, just remember this: you aren’t the only one that can bring the pain in the ring. You want a fight at Dirty Deeds? Hoff steps closer to go face-to-face with Knight. HOFF You got it. [i]Black[/i] kicks up as Hoff steps through the ropes and walks up the ramp, leaving Knight alone in the ring to ponder Hoff’s words.

I gave Alf access to GCF, so he should get the rest of the stuff from the people that have access there.

The latest reports say that Houston might be spared the absolute worst because it is weakening and moving more towards the east, but here's to your safety.

Trevor Nelson - 21 year old kid from Little Rock, Arkansas. Still very green with the mat skills, but he tries to cover that up by imitating Mick Foley's bumping style (i.e. taking chairshots flush in the head and landing flat on his back instead of using his feet to cushion the blow). Was a backyard wrestler for 3 years and now wants to go "legit" in a real organization.

Nail on the head. This isn't the 80s anymore, where a heel can be all "America? Ptui!" and the fans will sell out the arena to see Hulk Hogan beat him up because A) There is no Hulk Hogan to do that (even though WWE seemed to think so) and B) The majority of the fanbase is much smarter and often sees right through guys that are all style and no substance.

Let's count the "Huh?" moments I had when reading these: 1 2, because didn't they do that already when Stacy & Christy first appeared on SD? 3 4 5,6 and 7 And here I was thinking I'm going to miss not only watching, but recapping this show.

Eminem and Cena vs. Cade and Murdoch, Rap v. Country II coming LIVE to Chicago at Wrestlemania 22!!! I think Vince watches too much VH1.

Yeah, it was Tom. Sorry about that. Anyway, here's Bonnar's take: And Forrest's:

I didn't pay for it, but I want my money back anyway. John didn't do a goddamn thing. Next week's show looks good though; they teased the kicking of much ass by Hughes.

Yeah, I'll agree with that. I was starting to wonder if they were going to blow their load with the first episode, but that twist at the end was neat and definitely opened up the storyline possibilities. Alyson Hannigan's character is great. "Awww. You went and wussed out like a little bitch." Leah Remini sure chunked up, didn't she?

The needle seems to be passing E right now for the Red Sox. They just seem to be completely worn down right now, with guys like Foulke openly hoping that the season is almost over. Management tried a few different things this season, but Rentaria is the Bust of '05 (more for his defense, since his offense is about where he is career-wise), the bullpen became a total mess and the rotation was too shaky (Clement especially). I'm seeing some big changes in the offseason this year. Namely, trading Manny to the Mets, trying to shop around Foulke, stocking the pen with the young prospects (Hansen was VERY impressive) and trying to improve the rotation much more.

It'll probably just be Vince announcing Angle vs. Cena for TT and the fans being able to pick the stipulation. Remember, WWE thinks the fans can't remember what happened last week and have to be reminded with pretty video packages, so how will we ever be able to remember which PPV is next?

PK defends the X-Title. I already have an opponent, so don't PM me.

47) The "Turkish Bath" bit where Andy ends up naked on the Today show set. "Is Katie around?" Was that a prank on Matt Lauer or something? It seemed like he didn't know what the hell was going on. 48) Taking the desk out for a drive (though it isn't as good with Random Audience Member than it was with Andy) 49) The constant, yet unfair, fat jokes about Kirstie Alley and Star Jones.

Come on Trent, ONE TD! That's ALL I ask! I don't want to lose another game by less than 6. EDIT: FUCK!! I've lost my first two games by a combined EIGHT points. And this is for money, too!

I'm enjoying Turico and Sharpe immensly tonight. They seem to have the attitude of "We know this is the only time we'll ever have this slot, so let's have some fun" which is a refreshing change. Though if Sterling was running the Raiders offense, Moss would have about 30 receptions about now.