KingPK

I'll do it. 10PM, as usual

Marc Bulger or Darrell Jackson; who would you keep? I share a money keeper league team with my brother-in-law and we're debating which one to keep (Jamal Lewis is our other keeper). He likes Bulger, but I want Jackson because he's on an incredibly potent Seattle offense (and is the only one that catches the ball frequently IIRC) and I think we can get a much better QB with the 6th pick in the first round. Help me out people.

Alan Embree coming in for the Yankees. This should be fun.

Pretty damn good for a second attempt, I must say. You kept talking with few pauses and sounded sure in your opinions for the most part. Personal preference, but I would love a co-host for this if only because it would be nice to hear seperate opinions on topics and the debate that would occur. I know that might be kind of tough to do, but it's something to think about. EDIT: Something you DO have to improve is the breaks between segments. Either say something like "I'll be back in a moment to talk about blahblah." or just finish what you say and let the music be the break. You have a good sense of humor as well. EDIT II: You should also repeat the feedback address more. I'd do it twice a segment, especially at the end, which would be a good way to segue into a break.

Well, my reverse psychology worked out perfectly, so let's try it again. Bonderman will no-hit the Red Sox tomorrow. But seriously, Remlinger is Embree redux. Hopefully Papelbon will only start one more game and then go to the pen because with that fastball, he'll be pretty untouchable for one or two innings (since he seems to tire after about 70 pitches or so). Maybe Remlinger and Proctor can exchange pitching tips.

Nice to see that the Red Sox just seem to be sleepwalking through these Tigers games so they can go get swept by Anaheim. They aren't winning another game until the KC series next week.

Based on the events of last week, Calvin has ordered Peter Knight to take this week's show off and let his knee heal. (Read: Don't expect anything from me)

The Pats have some interesting and enthusiastic rookies this year. I might put in my order for a #16 Matt Cassel jersey if this keeps up. He should earn himself the third string job, finally pushing Rohan Davey out the door. Other thoughts: - Cedric Cobbs didn't play, though I was very interested at how he looks, but there were couple of interesting backs running the ball in the second half, including a guy that's on leave from the military to join Pats camp. - Bill probably wasn't too pleased with the second string O-Line, because they weren't giving any protection in the second half. Something to work on for the rest of camp. The Bengals D have some quick guys on that line. It's just the first preseason game, but I liked what I saw all around tonight.

You should have just ended the post with that first sentence to let Mik sweat it out more. The Rockies being Cletus fits perfectly.

Just put him in a potato sack and hang it above the ring on a meat hook. If we can have a "Judy Bagwell on a Pole" match, we can have this.

I didn't want to give too much away since this match will happen again. Ultimate X drained me of all my creative match writing, I think. COLE Up next for you tonight is a match for the X-Division championship. Let’s go over to Josh Matthews who is with the champion, Peter Knight. We cut backstage where Matthews and Knight stand in front of a HeldDOWN backdrop. J-MATH Thanks guys. PK, you asked to wrestle this week even though your knee has been put through a lot of punishment over the past month, especially in the Ultimate X match. How is it feeling tonight? KNIGHT I haven’t wrestled since License to Pin, which is about two weeks; that’s enough rest for me. I’ve done what they’ve said and kept off of it as much as I can so it feels just fine. Sitting on my ass in the back doesn’t get me anywhere. I’m focused only on tonight, and defending my title against Crystal. J-MATH Let’s talk about Crystal. Do you have any reservations at all wrestling a woman? KNIGHT Crystal isn’t “just a woman”; she’s a former OAOAST Heavyweight champion. We entered this place around the same time, but she’s held what I’ve been wanting for almost three years, so no, I don’t have any problems taking her down and keeping this where it belongs. (He walks off.) J-MATH Let’s go to the ring. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Lllladies and gentlemen, the following contest is for the OAOAST X-Division Championship! “YEAHHHHHHHHHH!” CUE: [i]Plug In Baby[/i] by Muse “BOOOOOOOOOO!” The Georgia Dome echoes with negativity as a blue hue covers the arena. [i] I've exposed your lies Baby The underneath's no big surprise Now it's time for changing And cleansing everything to forget your love[/i] BOOOOOM! An explosion of pyro signals the entrance of Crystal, flanked as always by the big man, Gunner Sharps. BUFFER Introducing first, the challenger; from Coquitlam, British Colombia, Canada, weighing in at one hundred and fifty pounds, she is the Female Phenom…..Crrrrrrystallllllll!!! COACH It’s been a while, but it’s time to bring an old saying back. MAH BABY GURRRRL~! COLE Wait, so you’re back on the bandwagon? COACH ….I was off of it? Crystal sneers at the crowd as she reaches the ringside area, Gunner hopping onto the apron and holding the ropes open for his associate. She hits the turnbuckles and looks upon the crowd with contempt. CUE: [i]Oh Hell Yeah[/i] “YEAHHHHHHHH!” The blue strobes signal the entrance of the X-Champion, who sports a visible limp as he walks out onto the stage, X-Title belt strapped around his waist. BUFFER And her opponent; from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at two hundred and sixty-five pounds, he is the reigning X-Division Champion of the WOOOOOOOORLD….Peterrrrrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiight!!! Crystal and Gunner whisper at each other, Crysal tapping her left knee as Knight uses the ring steps to get to the apron as the house lights come back up, a slight grimace visible on his face as he steps with the left leg. CABOOSE Crystal’s smart; she knows Knight’s hobbling and will use that to her advantage. COLE But Crystal hasn’t wrestled in almost two months, so she might have some ring rust on her, which Knight should use to [i]his[/i] advantage. Knight hands his belt over to the referee, who shows it to Crystal before holding it up for the Georgia Dome crowd. Gunner offers a few last words of encouragement before taking his place at ringside. Knight, well used to dealing with big guys trying to interfere in his matches, tells the referee to keep a close eye on him. *DING DING* COACH Knight outweighs her by over 100 pounds, so Crystal knows going toe-to-toe with him would be bad strategy, so look for her to use her quickness to avoid him and get her shots in when she can. Knight gets into a fighting position and waves Crystal on, but she hesitates, holding up her index finger and doing some stretches. The ref demands she fight, but she instead she stalls some more by doing some jumping jacks. COLE Come on! COACH Hey, like you said, she’s rusty so she needs more time to warm up here. You mean to tell me you don’t like seeing Crystal do jumping jacks? Crystal nods that she is ready to go and the referee demands they fight, but when Knight goes for her, she slides under the bottom rope to the floor. “BOOOOOOOOO!!!!” Knight starts to step to the outside, but is restrained by the referee. Crystal demands he be kept back so she can have a powwow with Gunner. They huddle and as the camera tries to eavesdrop, Gunner holds his hand over the lens. The referee starts his count, and Crystal finally slides back into the ring at 8. Crystal, suddenly full of confidence, waves Knight on. They lock up, and Crystal grabs a side headlock, beaming with pride, but that quickly fades as Knight shoves her off into the ropes and nails her on the rebound with a back elbow. Crystal retreats to the corner, holding her mouth. Gunner comes over and whispers something else into her ear. COLE Get him down from there, referee! CABOOSE Why don’t you go pull him down yourself? Gunner hops down and the two lock up again. Crystal grabs an armbar, but Knight counters it and sends Crystal off the ropes again, dropping down and catching her off the rebound, taking her over with a powerslam. He covers. 1…… 2…… But Crystal kicks out. Knight drags her back up and backs her into the corner. *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOO!” *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOO!” *SLAP* “WHOOOOOOO!” The sound of the chops reverberates through the arena as Crystal grabs her chest, gasping for air as Knight readies her for another whip. He goes for a clothesline, but Crystal ducks it and springboards off the opposite strands, looking for a crossbody, but Knight hangs on to her, pitching her backwards to the mat with a fall away slam, the momentum sending Crystal rolling to the floor once again. CABOOSE I think Calvin should have given her that extra time off. Knight is kept from going after her once again as the referee begins his count. Crystal looks towards the entranceway and back to Knight, dismissing him with a wave and making her way to the back. “BOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE She’s quitting? What the hell has happened to Crystal tonight? COACH She probably burst a seam in her attire. Of course, I’d like to burst….. CABOOSE All right. The referee leaves the ring to demand she continue, leaving Knight alone. As they argue, Gunner slowly slides into the ring behind Knight. COLE Hey, look out! Gunner charges at him, but PK sees him out of the corner of his eye and meets him with a right hand, delivering a few more to send him reeling into the ropes, but a kick to the knee by Gunner stops Knight cold. Crystal, still arguing with the referee, makes sure his back is completely to the ring as Gunner works him over in the corner. He whips Knight into the opposite buckles and charges in for a clothesline, but PK avoids it, sending Gunner crashing into the turnbuckles. Knight grabs a front facelock and…… *BAM* one suplex *BAM* two suplexes Knight picks him up and holds him there; though not very long because of the strain it puts on his knee. *WHAM* a falcon arrow, completing the Knight Roll. Crystal, getting very concerned, finally heads back to the ring as Knight hoists Gunner onto his shoulders for the Knightmare. She slides into the ring out of Knight’s sight and delivers a low dropkick to his knee, causing him to drop Gunner and crumple to the mat. Gunner gets to his feet and joins Crystal in stomping him as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING DING DING* BUFFER Llladies and gentlemen, the winner by Disqualification, Peter Knight! Crystal and Gunner don’t care about the decision as they continue to stomp Knight’s head and knee. Crystal stands over Knight’s legs and pulls them back, crossing them and locking in the Crystalling as Gunner continues to stomp away. The referee gets involved, but Gunner shoves him out of the ring. COLE Come on, someone stop this! More officials storm the ring and manage to persuade Crystal to release the hold. She and Gunner are backed out of the ring by the officials as they look upon the damage they did, Knight grabbing his knee in serious pain. The two nod at each other and step out to the floor, watching the Angletron as they walk up the ramp.

Personally, I want this to bomb and continue the box office slump so that movie studios just might finally get the clue that people are sick of all the half-assed remakes and sequels we've seen this summer (except for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which was actually good) and start putting out some original and creative stuff (which is probably why Wedding Crashers is doing such monster numbers). EDIT: Looking at Box Office Mojo, this made $12.1M on Friday. Guess The Hewitt Principle (in which having a star whose breasts are prominently featured in a movie = $$$) is proven once again.

I was thinking of stretching PK/Crystal to AS just because it seems everyone else is locked into their own things this month. That's why I was planning on putting a kind of non-finish on the match this week to set it up.

Speaking of the Ravens....did Brian Billick age 20 years over the offseason or something? He's got the white Kenny Rogers beard going.

Hoff's posting this week. *Flees before Hoff can make an excuse*

Yeah, it was him.

BLUE BAR CAGE~!!!! They HAVE to use that for the Legends. TEH GUNZ~! Or Batista's getting jiggy with it. So does this mean the ref checks the arm for a submission? That would be cool; as the submission bar gets closer to Submit, the ref picks up the arm and if you are able to mash the button enough, it stays up the third time and you make the comeback.

Peter Knight vs. Crystal for the X-Title.

Though the Palmiero situation makes me leery of every player that has been connected with steroids in the past, I don't think Giambi is juicing. It would just be a disaster for his career if he got caught because the Yankees would probably be able to void his contract without blinking. Still, Palmiero testified to CONGRESS that he never took steroids and was on the fast track to the Hall of Fame but STILL juiced up, so who knows. Off topic, but I love how some people (not here) are considering tonight's Yankee win as YET ANOTHER "Turning point" in their season. Give it UP, people. Their pitching will probably prevent them from going on a real long run and leaving the rest of the East in the dust.

This show furthered the Originals/Upstarts angle pretty well, but two matches? Kinda slim there, though both were very good. MMoM, if you had something for the show, send it to me and I'll edit it in. I got a little antsy in posting the show this week

Am I waiting on anything else? If not, the show will be up momentarily.

Dave and CJ going at it. Did I fall asleep and just wake up in 2001?

Produced by: KingPK (I didn't write anything, but I deserve a credit, DAMMIT!) Written by: Hoff Alfdogg Tony149 Ed Wood Caulfield CanadianChick Phoenix Fury Legdrop King Cucaracha Stephen Joseph Mystery Eskimo Copyright 2005 OAOAST Entertainment.

The cameras cut to a shot of Triple C at ringside, manning Sofa Central as only they can. COLE Fans, it has been a wild night here on HeldDown. We've learned that we have a new General Manager, and that he is CALVIN SZECHSTEIN-- CABOOSE And Boss, I hope you got that fruit basket I sent in. COLE Wait, how did you already send him a welcoming present? CABOOSE I have my ways. COLE In any event, it has been an eventful night, and we are all set to cap it off with a fantastic main event. Hoff, the number one contender, defending his AngleSlam title shot against the OAOAST Heartland Champion, Alfdogg. COACH Aw, yeah, playas. This is gonna be a hot one. These two guys are red-hot right now, and you know they're gonna tear the house down. COLE Absolutely, two of the hottest, winningest superstars in recent weeks. Hoff of course won the Battlebowl event to win his title shot, and since then he has defended that chance against any and all comers, and not only that, he's beaten each and every one of them. COACH Yeah, and meanwhile, Alfdogg won the then-Puerto Rican title from, well, tha Puerto Rican, renamed it the Heartland Title, and he's held onto it against challenger after challenger! COLE Both these guys had great nights last Sunday at License to Pin, both of them beating CSI members. Hoff over Brock Ausstin, and Alfdogg over Hoff's most notorious rival, Chris Stevens! CABOOSE Well, good for them. COLE And that brings us to tonight. Hoff, Alfdogg, the #1 contendership, and it starts....NOW! Michael Buffer stands in the center of the ring, house mic in hand. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for our MAAAAAAAAAAIN EVENT!! The house lights go down as "The Wall" by Kansas hits the speakers, and the crowd lets out a good-sized cheer! The cheers grow louder as the OAOAST Heartland Champ, Alfdogg, steps onto the stage! COLE And there he is! The man with a golden opportunity! Alf adjusts the Heartland Title belt on his shoulder, shining it with the palm of is hand before patting it. The champ grins cockily as he struts down the aisle. COACH These fans are feelin' Alfdogg here tonight! COLE Lately he's been winning over the crowd, slowly, week by week...plus, he probably has some goodwill left from defeating Chris Stevens on Sunday. CABOOSE The morons in this audience had the gall to boo my man, Chris Stevens, in that violent barbed wire ladder match. But hey, we could do worse than Alfdogg. Alf climbs the ring steps and steps into the ring, holding his Heartland Championship over his head, showing it off for the crowd. Alf hands the title to referee Brian Hebner, who hands it to the timekeeper. COLE Well, Alf seems in high spirits, and hopefully that confidence will give him an edge in his match against, arguably, the hottest commodity in wrestling today. CABOOSE Oh, give it a rest, Cole. "The Wall" fades as Alfdogg takes off his OAOAST Originals jersey, revealing the sleeveless white t-shirt underneath. The fans buzz during the ensuing moments of silence.... *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~!* And then COME ALIVE as "Black" hits and onto the stage steps HOFF!!! COLE THERE HE IS!! Hoff looks out over the fans, smiling and nodding his head before making his way down the aisle. The big man slaps the hands of the fans in the aisle, but keeps his gaze on the man in the ring. COACH And Mikey, I don't know if this man is the hottest commodity in wrestling, but he's damn sure the most popular! CABOOSE Bah. You know what? These fans don't know what's what. They boo athletes like Drek Stone, like Chris Stevens, and they cheer slugs like this. It sickens me. Hoff slides into the ring, popping to one knee and looking hard into the eyes of Alfdogg. Alf raises an eyebrow, looking unimpressed by the #1 contender. Hoff gets to his feet, then turns, climbing the near corner. Flashbulbs light the air in the arena as Hoff throws his fist into the air, posing for the crowd. The big man steps off the ropes, then blows past Alfdogg, heading to the far corner and flexing his muscles to another round of flashbulbs. COLE Hoff has told us that he is in the best shape of his career, and I for one believe him. It's going to be a tough road for Alfdogg tonight. CABOOSE Yeah, but don't forget, Alfdogg has championship experience. He's a former World Champion himself. He's done everything Hoff has, and more. In fact, I think Hoff might be the one in for a long night. Hoff hops off the ropes and meets Alfdogg in the center of the ring. The two men lock eyes, Hoff's focused gaze in stark contrast to Alf's self-assured grin. BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall, with TV time remaining, and it is for the OAOAST NUM-BER ONE CONTENDERSHIP!!! Introducing first, the challenger. Hailing from Anderson, Indiana, and weighing in at 240 pounds, he is an OAOAST Original, a legend in his own time, and a former Heavyweight Champion of the World. The reigning Heartland Champion, tonight he looks to earn the right to challenge Axel at AngleSlam on August 28th. Ladies and gentlemen.......ALFDOGG!!!!!!!!!!!! Alf turns to the crowd and holds his hands out, looking for applause. A few of the audience members jeer, but the majority give Alfdogg a round of applause. BUFFER And his opponent. From Minneapolis, Minnesota, and weighing in at 275 pounds. He is a former World Champion looking to regain his crown. Tonight, he defends his right to do so as if it were the title itself. The reigning and defending number-one contender......HE IS.....HOFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hoff looks left, then right, raising his fist into the air to a massive ovation. Alfdogg lets out an arrogant laugh, shaking his head at the big man. BUFFER So, for the thousands in attendance tonight, and for the millions watching around the world.....LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLETS GET READY TO RUM-BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!!! Buffer exits the ring as Brian Hebner reads the instructions to both men. Contender and challenger both nod, prompting Hebner to ring the bell! *ding ding ding ding ding* COLE Here we go! The bell rings, but Hoff and Alf remain unmoving, staring at each other. Alf spits the wad of gum he was chewing out of the ring, then looks at Hoff, jutting out his chin. Alf turns the side of his face to Hoff, offering up a free shot. The fans boo, but Hoff crosses his arms, shaking his head. CABOOSE Aw, come on, ya wimp. Take the shot. Hoff shrugs, prompting Alfdogg to scowl. Alf lowers his jaw, then shoves Hoff back! The big man's eyes flare as he stumbles back, then charges at Alf and tackles him to the mat!! The crowd goes wild as Hoff begins hammering the Heartland champ with big right hands! COLE There you go, Caboose! There's the shot Hoff was waiting for! Alf crawls away from the big man, but Hoff gets to his feet and grabs his foe from behind! Hoff grabs an arm and whips Alf into the ropes. Alf comes back, and Hoff catches him with a shoulderblock that sends him to the canvas! Hoff falls on top of Alfdogg, and Hebner drops to his knees, but Alf kicks out before he can slap the mat. Both men get to their feet, and Hoff again grabs Alf by the arm, whipping him toward the ropes, but Alf reverses and Hoff hits the strands! The big man comes barrelling in, and Alf catches him with a HARD back elbow! Hoff's head snaps back, the impact sending Hoff crashing to the mat. Alf pounces, straddling Hoff's chest and laying in with some right hands of his own! COACH Alfdogg is one tough brawler, and it might be tough for Hoff to match fists with him! Hoff covers, but the fists of Alf do their damage. Alf gets off of his foe, then measures him up before dropping a forearm across Hoff's face! The big man grabs his nose, and Alf hooks his leg for a cover! Hebner counts one, but that's all he gets before Hoff kicks out to a big pop! COLE Hoff powers out easily. Both men going for covers early on, maybe hoping to score a fluke pinfall! CABOOSE As far as I'm concerned, every win of Hoff's is a fluke. COACH Well if that's the case, he's on the biggest fluke streak I've seen in a while. Alfdogg pulls the #1 contender up by the hair, throwing a few forearm shots to the bridge of Hoff's nose. The big man reels, and Alf throws him into the ropes! Hoff comes off the far side, and Alf throws a beautiful superkick, but Hoff catches the boot! Hoff spins the nacho-loving grappler around, grabbing him from behind and planting him with a back suplex! The fans cheer as Hoff rolls up to his feet, sizing up his foe before leaping into the air and dropping a leg across Alfdogg's throat! Hoff rolls over into a cover, ONE, TWO, and Alfdogg kicks out!! CABOOSE I'll say this much. One of Hoff's strongest points is his ability to act on the fly. It's not chain wrestling, per se, although we've seen him do that. It's ring generalship. He knows where he is, and acts accordingly. Hoff, now, picks Alfdogg up by his long locks and drives a knee into his stomach. Alf doubles over, and Hoff grabs his neck, snapping him down with a swinging neckbreaker! The big man goes for another cover, Hebner counts, but again, Alfdogg is out at two. COLE Well we saw Hoff have some trouble with Brock Ausstin on Sunday, but so far, he has been in control here. COACH Well it's rare that Hoff sees somebody as powerful as he is in the ring. He's much more used to seeing these smaller, quicker athletes, and so he knows how to handle them, if ya feel me, playas. Hoff climbs to his knees and pulls Alf's head up, applying the dreaded REAR CHINLOCK~! Hoff squeezes his arms, applying a lot of pressure, but Alf is able to fight up to his feet and throw an elbow to Hoff's gut! Hoff loses his grip, and Alf SMASHES his knee into Hoff's skull!! The crowd "ooohs" as the dull thud resonates throughout the arena, and Hoff falls onto his back. Alf walks over to Hoff, then turns to face the crowd....before delivering a STANDING MOONSAULT!! COLE WOW! What a move! Alf hooks a leg as Hebner makes his count! ONE!! TWO!! THR-NO!!! Hoff kicks out, and the fans applaud! COACH This match is kinda similar to the Hoff/Some Guy affair from a couple weeks ago, although the fans here seem to be giving Alfdogg more respect than they did to SG. COLE So far, both men putting on a clean, if hard-hitting, matchup. Alfdogg, looking a bit miffed that the moonsault wasn't enough, pulls Hoff to his feet and throws a hard blow to Hoff's temple. Hoff stumbles away, resting in the corner, but Alf grabs him, pulls his arm back, and delivers a hard knee to Hoff's ribs! Hoff groans in pain as he doubles over, and Alf pushes him back up and does it again! The fans get on Alf a little bit as he smiles, enjoying the punishment he's laying on the #1 contender. Alf drives another knee into the ribs of Hoff, then pulls him out by the hair. Alf hooks Hoff by the head, grabs his waist, and brings him over with a snap suplex. Alf floats into a cover, and the official makes the count! ONE!! TWO!! KICKOUT!! COLE Almost got him right there! CABOOSE Alfdogg's got his momentum rolling, fellas. Alfdogg pulls his opponent to his feet and hooks Hoff once more for a vertical suplex. Alf tries to lift the big man, but Hoff blocks it with his leg! Hoff throws a knee to Alf's gut, and another! The fans cheer, but the cheers turn sour as Alf lets go, rears back, and smashes Hoff with a huge headbutt! Hoff spins, reeling in pain! COACH Alfdogg is using his h-- CABOOSE DON'T say it. COACH Yeah all right, but you know what I was gonna say. Alf grabs Hoff-- COACH ALF USED HIS HEAD LOLZ~! CABOOSE You SON OF A-- Caboose, on the sofa, tackles Coach as Alfdogg grabs Hoff by the back of the neck, snapping him down with a modified neck breaker! Alf gets to his feet and stalks around Hoff, grabbing the big man by the legs! The fans buzz as Alf steps through! COLE Alfdogg could be going for the Sharpshooter! Alf crosses Hoff's legs as the big man struggles!! Alf leans to one side, trying to turn the big man onto his stomach, but Hoff resists! Alf tries to turn the other direction, but Hoff kicks him off! Alf bounces into the ropes and comes off, kicking at Hoff, but the big man rolls out of gthe way and gets to his feet! Alfdogg angrily grabs Hoff and shoves him into the corner, rifling off a knifedge chop-- "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" --but Hoff grabs Alf and reverses, throwing him into the corner! The fans go wild as Hoff rears back and throws a big right hand, and another, and another! Hoff tears into Alf with big rights, then grabs his dazed foe and whips him corss-corner! Alf hits the far buckles hard, his back arching in pain....then gets SQUASHED with a Stinger Splash! COLE Stinger Splash! Hoff is rolling!! Hoff backs out of the corner with a smile, and Alfdogg falls to the canvas! Hoff rolls him onto his back and hooks the leg! ONE!! TWO!! NO!! Alfdogg throws a shoulder up!! COLE Hoff coming awfully close to retaining his contendership! The big man pulls Alfdogg to his feet, then throws him into the ropes and catches him with a high back body drop-- NO!! Alf flips in midair and lands on his feet! Hoff turns around--right into an Alfdogg superkick!! The big man crashes to the mat, and Alf drops on top of him, hooking the leg!! COLE Will it be enough? ONE!! TWO!! THRNO!!! Kickout!! The crowd lets out an audible sigh as Hoff throws his shoulder into the air. COLE Hoff just barely kicking out of that big superkick by Alfdogg! Alf, looking exasperated, gets to his feet, waving Hoff up. The crowd throws Alf a few boos as Hoff slowly gets to his feet. Alf sneaks up behind him and hooks him in a full nelson, but Hoff slips his arms free and ducks behind Alf with a standing switch! Hoff hooks Alf with a rear waistlock and tosses him overhead with a German suplex! He holds the bridge! Hebner with the count!! ONE!! TWO!! NO!!! Alfdogg throws a shoulder up, breaking the bridge! COLE So, so close! Hoff rolls up to his feet and grabs Alf, pulling him up from behind! The #1 contender clubs Alf in the back of the neck, then grabs him from behind, hooking him in a rear facelock that sends the fans to their feet! COACH FUTURE SHOCK! CABOOSE Oh, no. COLE Hoff looking for the Future Shock! No need to say that if he hits this, it's all over! CABOOSE Then don't say it! Hoff grabs Alf by the waistband of his pants and hauls him overhead...but Alf shifts his weight and lands behind Hoff!! Hoff turns, and Alf quickly grabs his arm and throws him into the ropes! Hoff comes off and Alf grabs him, spins him, and drops him in the center of the ring with a SPINEBUSTER!! COLE Shades of Arn Anderson!! CABOOSE And you know Hoff can't be happy with that! Alf gets to his knees, then his feet as he looks down at Hoff....then turns his gaze to the corner! The fans again gets up as Alf heads to the apron!! COACH FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH!! COLE Alf could be looking for his signature maneuver, that big, huge, high-impact Five-Star Alf Splash!! The crowd actually cheers as Alf climbs up the ropes! Alfdogg stands to his full height...looks down at Hoff...and leaps! Flashbulbs again go off across the crowd as Alf delivers the Five-Star.....but Hoff lifts his boot and catches Alf in the FACE!!!!! COLE OH MY!! The audience holds its breath as Alf's face plummets into the underside of Hoff's boot, stopping the splash before it can reach its target! Alf falls to the mat, dead weight, as Hoff lowers his foot to the mat. COLE Did Hoff ever dodge a bullet there!! Let's take one more look at it! The SUPER SLO-MO replay shows Alf leaping off the top, pumping his arms and legs, and falling face-first onto Hoff's size 14. Meanwhile, in live action, Hoff climbs to his feet, stalking to Alfdogg's motionless body! COACH And Hoff is in complete control, fellas. Alfdogg may be out. COLE Let's see if Hoff goes for a cover here! Hoff walks over to Alf and picks him up by the hair, grabbing him by the arm and whipping him toward the ropes....but Hoff hangs on, yanks Alf back in, and turns him INSIDE OUT with a short-arm clothesline!! Alf does a flip in midair before landing face-down on the canvas!! The fans cheer as Hoff slashes his arms, ROARING to the crowd!! COLE Hoff ready to put Alfdogg away here!! Hoff stalks around Alfdogg, grabs the legend by the right leg...and LOCKS IN THE ANKLELOCK!!! Alf SCREAMS in pain as he hops on one foot, trying to get away, but Hoff pulls him away from the ropes and twists on the ankle!! COLE The anklelock applied! This has to be it!! Hebner checks to see if Alfdogg wants to quit, but Alf shakes his head. Alf hops, trying to break free, but Hoff keeps the hold locked in! Alf stays up, though, and manages to reach the ropes!! Hebner starts his five count, but Alf lunges forward, diving over the top rope...and sending Hoff over and onto the arena floor!!! COACH DAYUM~! Hoff lands HARD on the thin protective mats, back-first, reeling in pain. Alf pushes himself back into the ring, and the fans applaud as he shakes out his ankle. COLE Well you've got to admire Alfdogg's resillience, as well as his innovative counter to that hold! We'll see if he can capitalize here! Hoff, slowly, gets to his feet. As he turns to face the ring, Alfdogg runs the ropes...and comes flying over the top with the SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP!! The fans go BANANA as Alf wipes Hoff out, as well as himself, the two men landing in a heap at ringside!! "HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT! HO-LY SHIT!" CABOOSE Holy BLEEP, indeed. COLE What an amazing move by Alfdogg, completely flooring Hoff. COACH Yeah, Alfdogg may have banged himself up a little though! But this is still his best chance to put Hoff away and win that title shot! Slwoly, slowly, Alfdogg gets to his feet and pulls Hoff up by the hair. The fans slap Alf on the back as he rolls Hoff into the ring, then takes off his shirt and tosses it into the crowd! CABOOSE Some lucky fan getting a souvenir. COACH Lucky? That shirt is covered in sweat and nacho stains! COLE Alfdogg looking for it all once again!! Alf climbs onto the apron...then heads upstairs to another big pop!! Alf looks down, but Hoff makes it to his feet! In a daze, Hoff stumbles, then turns to face Alf! Alf leaps with a diving cross-body, but Hoff catches him and snaps him to the mat with a HUGE powerslam!! COLE WHAT A REVERSAL!! Hoff hooks Alf's leg, and Henber makes the count!! ONE!!! TWO!!! KICKOUT!! Alf kicks out at the last second!! Hoff looks up, closing his eyes in exhaustion. COLE SO close! And now Hoff has to wonder what HE has to do to put Alf away!! Hoff climbs to his feet, then grabs Alf by the hair! Pulling the former World Champ halfway up, Hoff screams "THIS IS IT!!" The fans pop as Hoff pulls Alf's head up and grabs him by the legs, lifting him for the SPINEBUSTER~.....but Alf elbows Hoff on the crown of his head!! Hoff drops Alf, doubling over, and Alf grabs the big man, hooking him for a PERFECT PLEX, but Hoff rolls him up with a SMALL PACKAGE!! ONE!! TWO!! NO!!!! Alf kicks out! Both men find their feet, and Alf throws a wild clothesline-- ducked by Hoff!! Alf's momentum carries him around, and Hoff grabs him from behind with a rear facelock!! The fans EXPLODE!!! COLE COULD IT BE?! Hoff, with another primal roar, lifts Alf up to the lights....holds him....HOLDS him......and DROPS him on his head with the FUTURE SHOCK!!!!!!!! COLE HE GOT IT!! HE GOT IT ALL!! Hoff swings his legs free and rolls onto Alfdogg, hooking his leg!! COLE COVER!! Hebner counts, and the fans count right along with!! ONE!!!!!!! TWO!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!! *ding ding ding ding ding* "Black" hits as the fans EXPLODE, and Hoff rolls off of Alf and to his knees!! Hoff raises both fists in triumph as Buffer reads the decision!! BUFFER The winner of this contest, and STILL number-one contender......HOFF!!!!!!! Hoff gets to his feet, and Hebner raises his hand as the fans shower their hero in praise. COACH Score one more for the big man! CABOOSE Well, like it or not -- and I don't -- but Hoff busted his ass yet again to get the job done. Hoff looks down at Alfdogg, nodding with a smile, before climbing onto the ropes and throwing his fist into the air once more. COLE Well it has been a wild, wild night here tonight, capped off with a wild main event, and yet again we ask ourselves the question. Can anyone...ANYONE...stop Hoff? Folks, for Caboose and the Coach, I'm Michael Cole, and we'll see you next week, right here, on HeldDOWN!! The final scene closes on Hoff, the number one contender to the OAOAST World Title, lowering his arm and looking out across the fans, a smile on his face... FADE TO BLACK

*CALIFORNIA LOVEEEEEE!!!* COLE Hey! Hey! We have a surprise guest! “California Love” by Dr. Dre and 2Pac starts playing while the crowd pops loudly, expecting The Parka to arrive at any minute. After a few seconds, the entrance doors slide open, and…. someone who isn’t The Parka comes out. The crowd still cheers for a few seconds, but they soon realize that the man in the La Parka mask isn’t really Leroy Andrew Parka. How can they tell? Because the man in the La Parka mask is wearing a hubcap from the El Camino around his neck! COACH Why do I get the feeling that I know who is wearing that mask? “The Parka” plays to the crowd, who shower him with boos. It should be noted that the man in the Parka mask is wearing a black dress shirt, a $500 Rolex watch, black dress pants, and black dress shoes, which is what a certain Lightning Crew member usually wears. ”Parka” “raises the roof”, and then slides into the ring, acting like he is a mascot for a college football team for some reason, and then leaps onto a turnbuckle. A single spotlight shines on him. “The Parka” poses on the turnbuckle, and then pulls off his mask revealing…VITAMIN X! CABOOSE HA! He got you didn’t he? COLE (groans) Caboose, I wasn’t fooled at all! CABOOSE Yeah right. You thought Parka would come out as soon as you heard his song! Vitamin X stands in the ring, soaking in the boos from the crowd with a smirk on his face. “California Love” continues playing while X grabs a microphone. COLE Vitamin X defeated The Parka last Sunday at License To Pin in an impromptu brawl. X stole one of the hubcaps from the El Camino, and has been parading around with it ever since. COACH It’s like the hubcap is his trophy for beating The Parka! CABOOSE Vitamin X certainly deserves a trophy for beating an OAOAST legend. He said he would make a name for himself, and I’m sure he did that last Sunday at License To Pin! I mean think about it. Parka is a former Tag Team Champion. One half of the Dream Machines, one of the greatest tag teams in OAOAST history. And in his first match back in a long time, he got pinned by the Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew! I mean that’s got to make The Parka feel even worse! COLE We don’t know where Parka is. All we know is that Parka was infact NOT 100% when he took on Vitamin X. CABOOSE He couldn’t beat X even if he was 100% anyway! The lights have gone back in the arena. “California Love” by 2Pac and Dr. Dre has died down. Vitamin X stands in the ring with a mic. He has put the hubcap on a turnbuckle, and is holding the La Parka mask. The crowd boos, but Vitamin X just smiles. VITAMIN X So, I fooled you all, didn’t I? CROWD BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! COLE X didn’t fool anybody! CABOOSE Oh now, I wouldn’t say that. VITAMIN X Well, I had to do it, since there’s NO CHANCE IN HELL The Parka himself will ever again come to the ring to that song. You know why? Because at License To Pin, this past Sunday, I sent Parka back to the retirement home where he belongs! The crowd boos. Caboose claps. VITAMIN X I am known by many names. Vitamin X. X. Sexy X-y. The Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew, and The Lightning Crew’s Official play-by-play and interview man. Last Sunday at License To Pin, I earned another name. Legend. Killer! Because I will go down in the record books as the man who destroyed the legendary Leroy Andrew Parka! CABOOSE Oh yeah! You tell it like it, X! Way to go! VITAMIN X (CONT’D) Parka thought he could take me. He thought that just because he was a former OAOAST Tag Team Champion, he could beat me. He thought that just because he competed in an unforgettable Glass Tables Match two years ago at The Great Angle Bash, that he could beat me. He thought that just because he was a member of The Dream Machines, he could beat me. Vitamin X looks directly into the camera. VITAMIN X Well, Parka. I. PROVED. YOU. WRONG!!! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!! X I said that people would know who I was. I said I would become a singles superstar come hell or high water. After what I did to Parka, I guess I can safely say “Mission: Accomplished!” HA! HA! HA! HA! COLE This is disgusting. X And folks, this is only the beginning. Because starting now, the era of Vitamin X begins. You are looking at the next X-Division Champion, the next Tag Team Champion, the next Heartland Champion, the next 24/7 Champion—oh wait, forget that one. Hell, I’ll even dress up as woman and go after the Women’s Title! Just call me Xtina! CABOOSE HA! COLE (sarcastically) Ha. Ha. VITAMIN X The point is that I will win every single title in the OAOAST, including the World Heavyweight Title! I will show each and every one of you that Vitamin X is one of the greatest of all time, and it’ll happen, because like it or not, Vitamin X is going to be around forever, unlike The Parka! The crowd boos. Chants of “PAR-KA! PAR-KA! PAR-KA! PAR-KA!” are heard, which visibly annoys X. COLE These fans want to see The Parka! COACH I bet they want Parka to shut X up right now! VITAMIN X Chant “Parka!” all you want. I can guarantee you that he is not here tonight. (Crowd boos). He’s not on HeldDOWN~! tonight, and infact, he won’t be on HeldDOWN~! ever again! The Parka is GONE from the OAOAST FOREVER! COACH Oh come on! The crowd doesn’t like that AT ALL. VITAMIN X That’s right, Leroy Andrew Parka is gone from the OAOAST, and you can thank ME for that! X looks at Parka’s mask, almost as if he is in a trance. VITAMIN X Yes. It was me! It was ME who ended Parka’s career for good! I didn’t need Tha Puerto Rican. I didn’t need The Lightning Crew. I did it by myself! I have sent Parka back to the gutter where he belongs! Never again will Leroy Andrew Parka step foot in an OAOAST ring! You heard me right, as of July 31, 2005; the career of The Parka…has ENDED! Case closed, throw in the towel, turn off the lights, the party’s over! Vitamin X looks directly into the camera. He has a sinister look on his face as the camera does a close-up. VITAMIN X Parka, I know you’re watching this. You’re probably at some run down bar drinking your 15th beer of the night as I’m speaking right now. Well, I have just one last thing to say to you. How does it feel to have your career ended by me? How does it feel that your career was ended by one of PRL’s “lackeys”? You think that I respect you now? You think that I’ll say that you put one up one hell of a fight? You think that I’ll bow down to the legend that is The Parka like everyone else in this damn promotion does? Well guess what? I SPIT IN THE FACE of the legendary Parka! Parka, you are NOTHING! You do NOT intimidate me! I am not scared of you! You are nothing but GARBAGE! This is what I think of you! Vitamin X rips the La Parka mask in half, and holds it in front of the camera. VITAMIN X YOU’RE FINISHED PARKA! You are HISTORY! And it is all because of me! Because I am THAT much better than YOU! The Parka’s career is DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!!! Vitamin X spits on the ripped La Parka mask, and throws it down on the mat, stomping on it. He drops his mic, and takes the hubcap from the El Camino. Vitamin X exits the ring with the hubcap around his neck again, and walks up the ramp, the crowd booing loudly. The camera does a close-up of the ripped, stomped, and spit on La Parka mask. (FADE OUT) It was a night of action, drama, suspense, and some really cool spots. If you missed it live, catch the replay all week long. Call your cable or sattelite provider now! We cut from the previous exciting scene to view Dan Black, already in the ring, wearing his wrestling gear of short, black and white halved trunks with black boots. Black has a mic. BLACK I hope you'll forgive my impromptu appearance, and I also hope you'll forgive my attire. Ordinarily, of course, I would wear a suit to address you all, but tonight - well, let's face it. This little speech will get interrupted, and I probably will have to get my hands dirty. So I'll make this brief. At Licence To Pin, you saw me make a mistake. I know - not something you'd expect of me. Not something I expect of myself. But I can admit to it. I wanted to beat Zack Malibu, and I wanted it so badly. And guess what? I did it. I gave him a BlackOut from the very top rope - I hurt him bad. I pinned him. I had help to do it, but that didn't matter to me. And you know, maybe it should have. Because as soon as that match was over, Drek Stone and the GPX laid me out as good as Malibu. I didn't expect or want friendship or allegiance. Just men who hated Malibu as much as me. And I wouldn't have thought I could hate anyone more. I was wrong again. God knows Black T has always been at the throats of GPX, but at least in the past you could, in some strange way, respect their athleticism. Now all they do is moan and cry about their position in the company. And as for Stone, I... Dan stops as Drek Stone and the GPX predictably appear at the top of the stage. Stone has the mic, but waits for the backlash to die out, sneering at the fans who dare boo his arrival. DREK Dan my man, for such a smart fellow, you just don't get it, do you? This goes deeper than just Malibu, deeper than just one man. Is he the focal point of our mission? Sure, and why wouldn't he be? He's the face of this company, the face of a generation that should have been phased out long ago. Things haven't exactly progressed naturally, and that's why the GPX and I have begun carving out a path into the future. Think of us as landscapers, yanking out the weeds so that the flowers can bloom. BLACK You know what, you said it yourself. I'm a smart man. So why not can the crap. Enough with the metaphors and analogies and the history lessons, Stone. My back's not turned to you now. I'm not gullible tonight. We might not be on the same page, but I dare you to set foot in the same ring! Drek snarls, and the GPX start to storm past, but he extends his arms and holds them back. Stone then walks slowly, leading the pack, as the crowd gets worked up over the potential encounter. The trio advance on the ring, and Black shrugs coolly, awaiting their arrival. GPX slide in as Black backs up, but not down. Drek walks in between the two and stands toe to toe with Dan. Stone pauses a moment, then nods his head, and all three leap on Black! Dan shoves Static away and lands a right hand on Jackson, but Drek floors him with a flurry of blows and the trio stomp Dan down. COLE Foolish pride has gotten the best of Dan Black, as we're getting a recap of License To Pin right...waitaminute! The crowd comes alive, as the former World Champion TONY BRANNIGAN~! comes racing out from the back, still decked out in a suit, only as he hits the ring two individuals hop the railing, one on each side, and block his path. CABOOSE What the hell are they doing out here? COLE What part do they have in this? Christian Wright and Beohemoth are the two men in question, and Tony looks at them for all of a millisecond before drilling Wright with a right hand, then trying to get the big man out of his way, and failing! A huge forearm is brought down on Tony's back, dropping him to all fours, and Wright follows up with a soccer kick, while in the ring the GPX hold Dan Black by his arms, leaving him wide open for Drek to hit some vicious body shots and squeeze Dan's jaw, telling him off. COACH I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but Black T needs some help! COLE Now who on Earth would want to help these tw...WHAT? CABOOSE The answer's got me as surprised as you, Mikey! The fans ROAR as the Franchise himself, ZACK MALIBU, comes racing down the aisle, directly into a spear into Beheomoth, driving the big man into the ring apron! As he reels, Malibu steps back and delivers a running kick that strikes him low, taking him off his game, while Brannigan is on his feet and drilling Christian Wright with right hands! Malibu slides into the ring and Stone turns around at the wrong moment, coming face to face with his hated enemy, who has been ducking him ever since Malibu dared him to take him on face to face! Stone turns white, then turns and runs, throwing Johnny Jax in his path as he dives out of the ring and out to ringside, going into the crowd to get away from the carnage! Malibu ducks a lariat from Jax and comes up, looking for a SCHOOL'S OUT, but Jax bails out in the nick of time. On the other side of the ring, Black gets the better of Static and clotheslines him over the top, sending him to the floor, and one of HeldDOWN's most surreal sites takes place, as Zack Malibu and Dan Black are on the same page, clearing the ring of Drek Stone's "uprising"! COLE Now THIS is a Kodak moment, because it'll never...WAIT, see! As Zack backs up, Black spins him around, and now the two longtime rivals are face to face! Black and Zack exchange words, until Tony hits the ring and seperates the two, causing a tense moment between all three! CABOOSE Did...did Brannigan just break them up? As the original members of The Original Elite all stare each other down, an uneasy feeling in the pits of their stomachs, Drek and his crew regroup in the aisleway, with the GPX, helping their equally worn cohorts, Wright and Bo. Flustered but not defeated, Drek picks up the mic he left at the top of the ramp. DREK Hey, you...Malibu, Black, Brannigan...we warned you. We told you it would come to this. Look here, look at us. Five strong and counting, while your ego's can't even handle each other. The time is upon us...you cannot resist our existence! You can't fight fate, Malibu! You can't do it! Drek, getting heated, drops the mic and starts walking back down the aisle, and an eager Malibu slides out of the ring and starts moving up the aisle to meet him halfway, until Drek changes his mind and backsteps, waving a finger "no". Malibu fumes, standing still, and behind him comes Brannigan, who seems to be backing him up! COLE This is amazing! Tony Brannigan, after everything he and Zack went through earlier this year, are side by side! CABOOSE Yeah, but look at Black! He's not too happy with this turn of events. Black remains in the ring, looking on as Drek and his gang disappear behind the curtains. He exits the ring, and Zack and Tony are in the aisle, still untrusting of the other, while Black storms past, right through them. Brannigan grabs his partner by the shoulder, trying to get him to ease up, but Black shrugs it off and turns around, staring angrily at his partner, then turning his head and staring coldly at Zack. The eyes of the three men shift around before Black simply turns and walks off. Brannigan then turns back to Zack and stares him down again, takes a deep breath, and then walks off, following his partner to the back. COLE This is an incredibly tense situation for all involved. Drek Stone seems to have found more supporters for this cause of his, while the veterans can't seem to move past fighting each other. CABOOSE Drek Stone knows that the OAOAST is ripe for the picking right now, and my fellow Originals need to heed these words: they know what they're doing. They can't be taken lightly. However, the greatest enemy right now isn't Drek Stone, the GPX, or anyone in this group of is. Their greatest enemy is themselves, and the sooner that battle is won, the better, because otherwise this company is going to change for the worst. COLE Alfdogg challenges Hoff for a shot at the title at AngleSlam, NEXT! Commercial break