bob_barron

I don't have any ink on me. (I know I know- don't sound so shocked) I've always thought of getting one of the logos of my sports teams tattooed but the fact that it's with you forever scares me

I'm thinking that they're going to give the three-way a lot of time. Plus I think Foley v. Orton will be quite the long match (15-20+) as well.

The World Series was in someone else's grasp that year as well. AS is right. The Braves easily would've rallied back and won the division and end up winning the World Series.

Tajiri: Came into company as Regal's lackey. (Don't know if that's heel or face) Is established as face with the Invasion. Turns heel in the spring of 2002 with the Torrie thing. Turns face later that year. Turns heel on Rey Mysterio in September 2003. Turns face with no explanation a few weeks ago. I don't remember all of Eddy's turns in WCW buuuut: Enters as face Turns heel a week later Turns face again with the whole Chyna thing Turns heel when him and Chyna break up Turns face (Well teases one) with the whole Eddy Hardy angle ::disappears:: Returns as a heel Turns face with the whole lying cheating stealing thing with Chavito Turns heel on Tajiri Turns face again a few weeks later against Cena

Hmmmm- I didn't notice it but I will take your word for it. I think I was so happy to have a host not named Donald Trump that I overlooked Janet's flaws. It's one of those skits that has never been funny yet they keep doing it over and over again. I'M BRIAN FELLOWS! That's great, now shut the fuck up and move on to the next skit. It's never appealed to me and it expaserates me that they keep doing it. Also- for some reason SNL ALWAYS does Brian Fellows and Versace whenever I attend a dress rehearsal and it pisses me off.

1995: Baerga flies out to Grissom. The Braves win the World Series. Probably the best moment in my life. 1999: ...and he walks him!!!!! Kenny Rogers walking in the winning run pretty much got me my ass beat at school the next day but I didn't care- that was such a great game. 2001: The Braves had a terrible season and a lot of people didn't give them a chance against the Astros and they went out and destroyed them in a three game sweep. Sure the D-Backs kicked their ass in the next round but I was satisfied with that Astros sweep. (I know AS is hanging his head in shame right now) D-Backs v. Yankees. Game 7. Bottom of the 9th. That almost makes up for Jimmy Leyritz. Almost.

In my defence- the only time it's ever on is at 7 am. Do you expect me to get up and watch it? well...yeah. You should be up anyway going to work. That the american way, Commie. I live in Canada bitch.

In my defence- the only time it's ever on is at 7 am. Do you expect me to get up and watch it?

I think you missed last week's episode. Or the Andy Roddick show. I didn't notice Janet cracking up that much- well except for Cork Soakers when it was blatantly obvious.

SNL Review- Janet Jackson Sports Report- Leafs v. Senators: Eddie Belfour is God. Seriously- the fact that I ever doubted this man’s ability in net makes me feel stupid and I wish I could apologise to him since he has been nothing but spectacular in net. The Leafs don’t deserve to have a 2-1 lead but I’m not going to complain. I just hope the Leafs don’t think they can rely on Eddie’s God-like abilities for every game since their luck may run out soon. Viva la Eddie. Devils v. Flyers: I know I picked the Devils in 6 and that prediction is looking pretty stupid. I thought Scott Stevens would be ready for the playoffs and I didn’t expect Martin Brodeur to be as shaky in net as he has been. They won last night so hopefully they can bounce back and salvage the series. Canucks v. Flames: I don’t know whether to jump for joy or get more nervous now that Cloutier is out and Hedberg is in. I get nervous everytime Cloutier has to make a save and part of me is thinking: Well now the goalie in net…is worse then Dan Cloutier. But then again Johan Hedburg was great in 2001 so we’ll see what happens. I’m very cautiously optimistic about this series and at least they took back home ice. Nets- This past week has been pretty pointless for them. They’ve had the #2 seed for a long time so every game is meaningless. K-Mart and Kidd seem like they are healthy so everything looks to be fine for the Nets. I hope the Knicks end up with the seventh seed because a Nets v. Knicks series would be a lot of fun to watch. Braves- The season has not started off on a good note for the Braves as they are 3-4. John Smoltz and Mike Hampton have gotten off to an awful starts. But it’s very early and the Braves never play that well in April anyway. I’m just nervous since I really want to see them win the division title again and prove everyone wrong. Mailbag!!!!!! Nothing again this week. I think Emily Spivey scared everyone away. Wanna be in the mailbag???? Email me at [email protected] I noticed Sean forgot to post my Ben Affleck review so if you haven’t read it you can read it here- http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?showtopic=52656 And now the review…. Cold Opening Cast- Janet Jackson, Darrell Hammond Thoughts- I must give kudos to Janet as she did a great Condaleeza Rice impression. Almost as good as her performance as Charlene on Diff’rent Strokes. I’m very glad that they had Darrell do Dick Cheney since his Cheney is actually pretty funny while is George Bush is cringe inducing. This was very funny and I enjoyed the impressions and the political jokes. I’m glad they got the boob jokes out of the way since you know they were going to make them- you just had to hope they were funny. I thought the skit started to drag when they got to the boob jokes but the rest of the skit was very funny and this was a great cold opening. ***3/4 Monologue Cast- Jackson Thoughts- I really don’t see the point in making another boob joke since the incident is two months old and no one really cared about it when it happened in the first place. I in fact remember when I first heard of this controversy: Global Newscaster: Controversy at the Super Bowl! Me: Huh- that’s odd. I don’t remember any controversial calls during the game. (sees clip of Janet) Ohhhhhhh Plus it wasn’t even that funny. If they were going to do a Jackson Home Movie skit they might as well have tried to push the boundary of good taste by having footage of their abusive dad or Michael getting too close to one of the skits. Seeing a wardrobe malfunction at a young age is just lame. *1/2 Brian Fellows Cast- Tracy Morgan, Jackson, Will Forte Thoughts- Nooooooooooooooooooo- I thought Tracy leaving meant the end of this skit but alas. I know he’s disappointed that his attempt to rip off the Bernie Mac Show failed but that’s no reason to have to subject us to this crap. This was an okay Brian Fellows- I really thought the 9.11 joke with the squirrel was hilarious and some of his interaction with Forte was alright. The rest of the skit was the usual Brian Fellows junk that was never funny in the first place and isn’t funny now. **1/4 Stahkisha Cast- Jackson, Chris Parnell, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Kenan Thompson, Finesse Mitchell, Fred Armisen Thoughts- Another bad recurring character. Is that the theme of tonight’s show? This was decent but the whole Stahkisha character is just not funny. Just like it wasn’t funny in the Halle Berry show nor was it that good on Update. The Parnell-Kenan interaction was pretty funny and I thought Amy’s attempts to fit in were cute. Fred’s random cameo at the end was well quite random. Janet poking fun at herself was alright but the burn zings weren’t really that burnful. Like, Brian Fellows- I hope we don’t see this ever again. ** An Easter Treat from SNL Cast- Simon Cowell, Chris Kattan, Morgan, Jimmy Fallon, Horatio Sanz Thoughts- YES!!! THE CHRISTMAS SONG RETURNS!!! This is one of my favourite recurring characters and the Christmas Song never gets old in my opinion. This was the perfect way to use Simon and I’m glad they didn’t stick him in any skits. And as much as I hate Chris Kattan but if they were going to bring him back then this is the perfect way to use him. Simon Cowell calling the guys out on the whole absurdity of the Christmas Song was great stuff and it was fun seeing him go back and forth with the guys. My one complaint is that they challenged Simon to sing and he ended up not doing any singing. What’s the deal with that? This was great and I loved seeing the Christmas Song one more time. ****1/4 Janet Jackson Thoughts- I don’t really recall her actually singing during this set but this was a pretty decent song to listen to and it didn’t give me much to make fun of which is either a good thing or a bad thing- I’ll let you make the call. **1/4 Weekend Update Cast- Tina Fey, Fallon, Rudolph, Mitchell Thoughts- Not to worry. Weekend Update’s one week of suckery was just a one week thing. Thankfully no objects fell on anyone’s head but unfortunately, Maya was back at the Update desk. But you know what? I actually thought she was pretty funny here and it looks like SNL was 2-2 on the Condaleeza Rice impressions. I thought Finesse’s Kevin Eubanks was also pretty funny. As someone who has had to suffer through many a Tonight Show it was nice to see someone finally take a shot at the worst bandleader ever. At least Max Weinberg is funny. The jokes were really funny with only a few clunkers. I really loved the Jewel teeth joke and the Alabama spirit joke.. Of course Jimmy had to turn the Jewel teeth joke into a stupid song that wasn’t funny and kind of ended Update on a downer. This was MUCH better then last weeks and I’m glad to see that they rebounded from it. **** The Prince Show Cast- Jackson, Rudolph, Thompson, Armisen Thoughts- Decisions, decisions. Do I flip over to the Mean Girls trailer on ShopTV or do I watch SNL? This skit made my decision a lot easier as I didn’t feel guilty about flipping over and catching the trailer and skipping a few seconds. I remember they did this in the Barrymore show and it was okay. This really wasn’t very funny and I don’t think this needed to be a recurring character. Janet as Paula was not very funny and added nothing. Kenan as Steve Harvey was pretty funny and I wish they had given it more time. The Prince stuff wasn’t funny at all. No one even remembers the Grammys so I don’t even know why they did this is again. *1/2 Corksoakers Cast- Jackson, Parnell, Sanz, Fallon, Hammond, Seth Meyers, Dratch, Rudolph, Armisen Thoughts- Oh man- this was just awesome. Now people who know me know that the word ‘cock’ is one of my favourite words in the English language and I also believe it to be one of the funniest. It just rolls off the tongue and it’s just so so funny. So I was very happy to see SNL make a skit out of one of my favourite words. I’m not going to come down on Janet for laughing since I’m sure she was afraid of pissing off the FCC again with a slip of the tongue. This had so many great and hilarious quotable lines and I just couldn’t stop laughing the whole way through and almost every double entendre was just awesome. SNL needs to do more piss off the censor skits like this because they always seem to be tremendously funny and I just like watching them play beat the censor. A great skit and kudos to everyone for that one. ****1/2 Janet Jackson Thoughts- I didn’t necessarily care for the song (and the guy with the cowboy getup seriously freaked me out) but kudos to Miss Jackson- that was one SEXY performance and it was very nice to watch. Janet, thankfully, did not violate one of my rules for female musicians: If you are a hot piece of ass with not a lot of talent, you must compensate by showing lots of skin and deliver a performance that will attempt to turn me on. Yes I know that’s incredibly sexist and somewhat politically incorrect but all I ask is to be entertained. And if you can’t entertain me via music- show off what else you got. Thankfully Janet did that and I was quite the happy viewer. **1/2 Good Times Cast- Morgan, Jackson, Parnell, Mitchell, Thompson, JB Smoove Thoughts- Couldn’t they have just gotten Jimmie Walker? A quick check of his imdb bio reveals that he recently has made guest spots on ER and George Lopez. He also was in Home Alone 2! Now that’s dy-no-mite! I don’t really know much about Mr. Smoove but occasionally he does the warm-up and is apparently not very funny. A quick check of The Complete Directory to Prime Time Network and Cable TV Shows, Seventh Edition reveals had this been an actual episode of Good Times it would’ve taken place around 1977 since Penny and Mr. Bookman didn’t come on until then. I’ve never seen an episode of Good Times, I just know it’s a spin-off of the Jeffersons and it airs early in the morning on TBS. A lot of the jokes were lost on me here but I was still laughing so I think I’m going to have to bust out the Tom Green rating. The Tom Green rating was invented during the Tom Green/David Gray show when the skits were so absurd and just so out there that I had no way of rating them. So I decided to just cop out and slap **1/2 and move on. The fact that they did a full length Good Times parody when they knew it’d be lost on most of the audience is very admirable and SNL deserves a gold star. It’s just a shame I never watched Good Times (Well not really- it sounds like a screwed up show) cause I’d like to give this a higher rating. Still kudos for the effort and for being the first skit in a very long time to earn the Tom Green rating. **1/2 Boom Boomer Cast- Jackson, Dratch, Meyers, Poehler, Parnell, Mitchell Thoughts- Don’t really get what the heck this was supposed to be but it was the last skit of the show so you might as well just go out there and see if you can do anything to get a laugh. I did laugh when Parnell came back with coke on his nose but the whole Boom Boomer game was pretty much lost on me and I didn’t really see the humour in any of it. Better luck next time. ¾* The Bottom Line- Avg. skit was **.6 making this a thumbs up show. There was a lot of great stuff here (three **** skits) but the mountain of mediocrity brought it down quite a bit. I was disappointed that once again Seth and Will did not get a lot of airtime but they were funny in their limited roles and the show was able to compensate with the Christmas Song and Corksoakers. Janet didn’t really add anything to the show aside from her great performance in the cold opening so I’m glad they were able to work around that since last week they were stonewalled by Donald Trump and his black hole of suck. A good show and hopefully they can end the season on a high note with a good last three shows. Thumbs Up

LoL nice cop-out. Atleast they've actually been on TV. ROH had their own TV show called High Impact TV. So yes- they've been on TV.

If my friend orders it- I'll watch

Man... Do you ever have anything to add to the topic other then just mindless bashing of ROH fans when you have no idea what you're talking about? That document sounds like a load of shit (I agree with everything Mike Johnson said) and I hope AJ can soon go back to a company that doesn't treat him like a joke.

I can't really say the Simpsons "sucks" now since I don't watch it anymore. I stopped around Season 12-13 when it just got really bad and the episodes just weren't funny anymore. I liked it when the Simpsons was more of a show that had a nice uplifting ending and you felt good at the end of it. Now they just seem to try and cram as many pop culture references into one show. It seems like every episode now revolves around Homer doing something stupid and it got old after a while. I don't know if the show has gotten good again (I watched the England episode and it was hilarious) but the show sucked badly enough for me to stop watching.

Bart the Daredevil. The whole episode is just great and the ending with Homer trying to jump the gorgue and the ambulance is pure goldage

You mean like when he slagged off against The Rock? Where him and Triple H had one of the most saddest and pathetic matches in all of RAW? Jeff Hardy should not be brought back to WWE unless he goes through rehab and gets some help. After seeing him at ROH he should be kept very far away from the ring.

No love for Slamfest 95??? Diesel v. Lex Luger in a pretty good match. Davey Boy/Bret v. Anvil/Owen and of course... THE KLIQ TAG MATCH!!!

I pretty much agree with you there. Regarding Stevens: I figured he'd be back in time for the playoffs. I just recently found out that he's still injured. ESPN's hockey page is shit when it comes to trying to find out information like that. It's going to hurt the Devils but they did pretty well the second half of the year without him and at the end of the day they still have Martin Brodeur in goal. Philly always seems to implode come playoff time and I don't see them being able to pick off a Devils team that knows how to win

Well I think the main event DOES matter. Royal Rumble 2002 happened to have two big main events (The Rumble with HHH's return and Jericho v. Rock) that easily sold the show. I'm sure Ric's first match in 10 months helped as well. I think the main event is the main selling point of the show for the most part. There are several exceptions like the ones that Dave asteriked that had Austin's return

I've never eaten at the Salad King even though I've walked by it a million times. What do they have beside salad? I got playoff tickets last year for Games 3 and 6 but I'm still paying that off so I thought it was wise to just watch the game on TV. Interesting fact: Every playoff game that the Leafs won- I was at the Air Canada Centre.

*bites lip so he won't sound like a hypocrite* Oh come on Banky- let me have it. I've missed you constantly knocking me for my Avril love.

I haven't seen any commercials for Mean Girls yet. And I'm dying to see them since I cannot wait for this movie. I thought the trailer was hilarious. I also am the proud owner of a mini-Mean Girls poster. I ripped out of a Teen People. Tina's been doing a lot of press for it (check her out hot photos in Bust and Paper) and I can't see the movie not being amazing. Well actually I can since I hate Lindsay Lohan and the movie doesn't sound like something I would like but it was written by Tina and has TIM MEADOWS so my expectations are very high.

I did a playoff preview in my SNL review but here's the cliff notes: Tampa in 5 Boston in 6 Devils in 6 Leafs in 7 :-) Wings in 4 Blues in 7 Canucks in 6 Stars in 6

Ahhh- the board lost my post. Let's try this again- Yea- that got old fast. That's my big issue with non actor/actress host. They seem to only be able to play themselves and thus you're limited in what you can right for them. I know some people who loved the Omarosa thing which I can see. Stuff falling on people's heads isn't really that funny unless it's in a cartoon or it's something out of Home Alone 2 where Macauly Culkin throws a brick at Daniel Stern. In a cartoon you have a lot more freedom and the ability to be funnier. Once I figured where this was going I knew I wasn't going to like it. Blah is the best way to describe it. The show was just ** skit after ** skit. It was like the Aniston show: Nothing I'd remember at all. I'd hate to think what people who don't watch the Apprentice thought of this show. I was willing to give it a chance since I was hoping she'd have some interplay with Tina and/or Jimmy and it'd be funny but my hopes were dashed very quickly. I still mark out for the Update door though. I've done my best to block out Season 5 from my memory since it really wasn't that good. But good job on noticing my error.

This was HHH's first PPV since coming back and the Rumble match has always proven to be a big draw. Plus it also had Ric Flair's first match in 10 months and I'm sure that also helped spike up the buyrates. Rock v. Jericho was still very hot at the time and of course... Everyone knew Regal was going to win the title.