Toxxic

Hmm... not much ringrust evident there. The only things that ocurred to me were that Birdman's descriptions flowed a little better, and you kind of no-sold a lot of offence by taking a bunch on DDT's and stuff, even a finisher, then doing loads of fast offence yourself. But still, you've been away forever, so WELCOME BACK!

I get most heat for the first time ever! Woo! And even though he's in Flesher country I am a little surprised by the fact that Flesher was able to get up after a Second Rope Caffeine Bomb and then go to town on Janus when Janus had done NOTHING all night. Ah well, that's adrenaline for you I guess.

MAIN EVENT HANDICAP MATCH Janus vs Ced Ordonez & Munich ~Janus. For he is very very good and destroys midcarders WORLD TITLE #2 CONTENDERSHIP Jamie Drazon vs Ace Lezaire ~Tough, but my money is on Ace. Although I want to know how this is the #2 spot when me and Tom are both #1. Shouldn't this be #3? ~SD5 says Mr Lezaire, via a Piledriver after Drazon kicks out of the A.C.E CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE CONTENDERSHIP OVER THE TOP FOURWAY Alan Clark vs Ryan Dustin vs Austin Sly vs Rob Gilbert ~Any of the first three COULD win it... I think it'll probably come down to Clark and Dustin... but Clark's been on a slide lately, so I think I'll go with the Real Deal ~SD5 only has normal elimination Battle Royal... and Gilbert eliminates everyone. Eh? TAG TITLE CONTENDERSHIP MATCH Andrea Montgomery & The Birdman vs “The Icon” Max King & Martin “Big Country” Hunt ~GOdrea and Koko B Ware take this one USJL TITLE MATCH Manson vs The Masked Man© ~I've gotta say Masked Man ~SD5 says Manson via the Consequences SINGLhES MATCH Dace Nigt vs “The Corona” Vladimir Everheart ~Dace. Yo. ~SD5 says that Horrocore absolutely SQUASHES Vlad, winning with the Defenestration. SINGLES MATCH Petey The Irish Penguin vs “The Paladin” Chance Silver ~The SWF's equivalent of Funaki fails to show again, giving the Mordecai rip a debut win.

20% reduction in word limits sucks ass. Just as well I'm not on the card... Oh and King/Thoth, I would LOVE the opening promo. But after today, I have no net or computer access until Thursday, most likely. So if King doesn't have a promo from me by the end of today (sunday) then it won't be coming.

Uh... yeah... I beat Tom Flesher. In singles competition. I can only assume that he had to no-show, but still YYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH BABY! As for the rest of the show... I LIKED Birdman's match, that had a really slick, pro vibe to it. I don't think it's going to be long before he does start moving up the card and compete against whoever he wants to be competing against. Big up to Drazon for beating Clark, no easy feat these days. Also big up to Muzz for beating Dace, that's a fucking challenge and a half. Respect to Johnny for beating Landon (unless Landon wrote to job, I don't know why he would but the promo at least gave him an excuse to), new ICTV Champ bitches. Manson won the clusterfuck, good on yer son. And my boys had to no-show - correction, SPIKE CHOSE to no-show as the Ozzfest was more important. Expect a sXe bitch-slapping soon. COngrats to Hunt too, being on the winning side certainly paid off with that stip.

'Due to a technical error, the show Storm began before live broadcast did. We therefore bring you the opening segment here, on the SWF.net! [OK, there I was chattin with Muzz and Drazon yesterday afternoon when my connection suddenly died and my computer went weird. I was able to get back on later JUST long enough to send my match in, then it died again. Seems OK now, so here's the promo that was written by Tuesday evening but I didn't get around to sending before my computer died...] A Storm is brewing. FIVE... FOUR... THREE... TWO... ONE... *BOOOM!! BOOOM!! BANG! BANG! BANG! BU-BU-BU-BOOOM!!* The lights come up, the pyros go off and several thousand SWF fans go absolutely stark staring wild as SWF Storm touches down in Buffalo, New York! The cameras scan the arena to seek out evidence of the locals’ wit and humour, lighting on lovingly hand-crafted creations such as “All F’n Day, All F’n Night!”, “Januz Stealz Movez!” and “Andrea, Will You Eat My Babies!?”... as well as a suspiciously company-made one proclaiming “Wayward Sons Were Robbed!”. With their brief overview completed the cameras return to the announce table where the ever-petulant Bobby Riley sits alongside the masked man (no, not that one) known to the world as Cyclone Comet. “Greetings Citizens, and welcome to STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRMMMMM!” the spandex-clad one proclaims, spreading his arms in benevolent greeting and causing Riley to duck. “We are here in the HSBC Arena in lovely Buffalo, and do we have one hell of a show for you tonight!” “For once I might be inclined to agree with you,” Riley remarks, trying to regain his poise. “If nothing else, the main event of Flesher vs Toxxic should be a display of wrestling memorable through the ages, whilst earlier on you get to see Dace Night get totalled by ‘The Prodigy’ Ace Lezaire, and Martin ‘Big Country’ Hunt gets his chance to wrest the Hardcore Title from the unworthy grasp of Ryan Dustin!” Comet opens his mouth to refute Bobby Riley’s claims - but much to his partner’s delight, the superhero is cut off by an unexpected production effect as every single light in the arena kicks up to full, causing a blaze of white to stab out from the stage area around the Smarktron which is itself a pure, dazzling white. “...what’s going on?” Comet asks in confusion. “I don’t know,” Riley muses. “It’s as if someone’s got tired of every single wrestler having the lights go down for their entrance, and decided to do the opposite...” A faint sound becomes audible over the arena PA system... that of a needle on a vinyl record, making other noise as yet. For a few seconds nothing more happens, then- “WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!” The crashing guitars of ’Battle Ready’ by Otep kick up the moment the scratching finishes and in the same moment the stage seems to explode as lightning spears down from above... *BOOOM!* -setting off an eruption of red and white pyros that manage to deafen the nearby fans for the second time in what has so far been a very short evening! The smoke starts to drift away, and the shapes are three men are revealed. One is big, dark-skinned, heavily muscled and stands to the right with the air of a nightclub bouncer. The one with the golden Californian tan is far smaller and more wiry and stands on the left, looking easily relaxed in his black shirt bearing the white letters ‘sXe’ and with the shiny Cruiserweight Title around his waist. But it is the shortest, smallest, palest and youngest man in the middle of the trio that grins out at the world with a lopsided smile, grey eyes glinting in the arena lights. Behind them, the Smarktron shows clips of all three, and interspersed between each one is the word “Revolution”. ‘The Perfect Storm’ Sean Davis. ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins. And Toxxic, the Straight-Edge Sensation. This is Revolution Zero. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” The fans in Buffalo absolutely shit on the trio as they start to make their way down the ramp, but none of them seem to pay much attention although halfway down the ramp Spike does pause to pose cheesily for the camera with two screaming teenage girls holding a ‘Marry Me Spike!’ sign. Meanwhile Davis and Toxxic continue down to the ring, and moments later they are joined by Hollywood as they enter. “Comet, you are looking at the finest bevy of promising athletes since the Magnificent Seven,” Bobby Riley tells his co-commentator. “United under their leader there is nothing they can’t do, and no-one they can’t beat. Except Tom Flesher, of course.” “I suspect Todd Cortez and The Masked Man will have something to say about that,” Comet notes as Spike requests - well, demands - a microphone from Funyon. “Hey dudes, what’s up?” Spike asks the arena, causing some of the fans who are only used to faces addressing them politely to start to cheer before they are shushed by their companions. “Welcome to Storm, brought to you this Saturday by REVOLUTION ZERO!” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “That’s us, by the way.” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Y’know,” Spike goes on, “I’ve been around here for quite a while now and I really like the SWF. It’s way cool man - I get to come out here a couple of nights a week and do this thing I love, and,” he smirks “get all these way hot chicks coming onto me... but it’s just got even better now I’ve got this!” “His crotch?” Bobby Riely asks, squinting. “For shame, Robert! I am sure that Citizen Jenkins is pointing to the Cruiserweight Title around his waist!” Comet responds. “Ahh... if only Wildchild were here to claim that belt.” “Pfah! Fat chance!” Riley laughs. “Last I heard he was jobbing to Judge Mental in Japan! Anyway, I prefer to think Spike is talking about his crotch.” “You would.” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” The chants ring around the arena, and Spike looks so hurt - rather like a puppy that’s just been kicked - that some of the more impressionable female fans feel slightly sorry for him. Most of the hardcore beer-swilling male audience ignore it though, and continue yelling abuse. “C’mon dudes, what gives?” Spike pleads. “So you don’t like the guy - I took up with him, and two matches later I’m Cruiserweight Champion. I mean, that’s success, right? And it’s not like I’ve been doing anything bad, y’know? Hey, I’ve become straight-edge!” Only the most observant TV viewer would see the slight spasm of pain that crosses Toxxic’s face as his ‘follower’ utters those words, but the Brit quickly recovers his composure. “It’s really cool!” Spike enthuses to the disbelieving crowd. “Like, I’m thinking straight, and my reactions are way better, and I’m not doing all that bad shit... and I’m champion! I’m telling you, this guy’s the...” his lips move as he counts momentarily “...third best thing to ever happen to me! So no, please, just be quiet for a bit and let him speak?” With that truly unlikely request Spike hands the mic over to the Straight-Edge Sensation... and Buffalo responds predictably. “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “Please, is that the best you can do?” Toxxic demands, looking around contemptuously at the crowd. “Is that meant to be offensive?” He spreads his arms wide, turning on the spot as the derision rains down on him, before raising the microphone to his mouth again. “I retired Nathaniel Kibagami... for good, this time.” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Has anyone seen Danny Williams lately? No, didn’t think so. He packed his bags and headed off to Japan after I made him tap out.” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Now that I come to think of it,” Toxxic continues, “I haven’t seen the Insane Luchador around much after I gave him the Dangerlust through a table.” He cracks a lopsided grin. “So at least I raised the workrate around here.” The boos for that comment are fewer - Andrew Rickmen hadn’t made many friends before his departure - but this is Buffalo, and a new chant gradually becomes audible. “TAAAAAAAAAAA-MO...” “TAAAAAAAAAAA-MO...” “TAAAAAAAAAAA-MO...” Toxxic looks confused for a moment, but then realisation dawns as Spike mouths ‘hometown!’ to him. The grin appears again, just for a second, but then the Brit gets back down to business. “I hope you realise that saying I ‘suck’ is a pathetic insult compared to what I’ve achieved here. Come on, I’ve prevented you from watching your favourite wrestlers in action, and yet you still chant that tired old thing at me. And speaking of tired old things... Tom Flesher.” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “TOXX-IC SUCKS!” “I want to give you a brief history lesson Tom, before our match tonight,” Toxxic says, leaning against the ropes. “See, I come from Britain, which as I’m sure most of you know has a monarchy.” He looks around, and his face falls. “Kings and queens?” he tries, hoping that meets with more understanding. “Anyway... at one point the monarchy actually ruled the country - you know, set the laws, everything. But then eventually the normal people decided that this wasn’t such a good plan, and King Charles was deposed. Now I won’t bore you with details of the Civil War and Oliver Cromwell’s disastrous first Parliament, but suffice to say the monarchy was eventually brought back - but with much less power. And these days things have changed to the point where our Royal Family have no real power at all.” The crowd are confused. The chants have died away and they are listening with... well, not interest, because that would suppose they cared about the subject. But most of them are certainly curious about where the Straight-Edge Sensation is going with this, and indeed why. “But the funny thing was,” Toxxic continues, “you still had this person on top who believed they were... for lack of a better word... Superior. Today the Royal Family are tourist attractions - in wrestling parlance, they ‘put asses in seats’ - but they have no real function. They have no real purpose. They have no real power beyond that which the public allow them to have, and that power is allowed through tradition and what you might call a national memory of authority. But they still think they are Superior.” Toxxic walks out of the corner to where Spike and Sean are standing, and together the three look out at the Buffalo crowd. “You see Tom, if the people wanted to, they could depose the Royal Family,” the straight-edger says. “Normal, everyday people whose potential is unrealised,” he lays his left hand on Spike and Sean in turn “could - with the right leadership - rise up and surprise everyone, and they would be doing it purely on their own merit. Not through some superstition that they are above everyone else and other people just accepting that, and not through some remembrance of old glories, but through their own hard work.” Toxxic turns away from his stablemates and appeals directly to the backstage area. “And when that day comes, Tom, the people at the top who think they’re Superior to all the others... they may be about to get a nasty surprise.” The straight-edger smiles once more, as if at a joke only he understands. “Whatever else you are Tom, I know you’re not stupid. You might even be able to spell ‘metaphor’.” Spike and Sean break into smirks, and Toxxic’s grin widens. Some of the crowd are jeering mindlessly and some of them are still trying to work out what he means, but quite a few have got the point. Several of those are jeering as well mind you, but then Toxxic wasn’t setting out to be popular. And he’s started as he means to go on, because he gestures to the two men in the ring with him. “I’d like to present to you the heart and soul of Revolution Zero - ‘Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins and ‘The Perfect Storm’ Sean Davis.” “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” “Tonight, these two men are going to compete together in a bid to bring the SWF Tag Team Titles to our ranks!” Toxxic says, the volume of his voice increasing. “I know what you’re thinking ; ‘Sean and Spike against one-half of the current tag team champions, who have been a very dominant team, and a man trained by one of the two greatest SWF tag team wrestlers ever? Surely that won’t work!’.” The straight-edger looks around at the Buffalo faithful... and smiles. “In case you hadn’t noticed, Spike’s got a new toy.” Proudly, ’Hollywood’ Spike Jenkins holds his belt up in one hand, beaming at the hostile crowd. “This is the SWF Cruiserweight Championship,” Toxxic continues, “and I suggest all of you cruisers in the back take a real good look at the closeup that I’m sure the production crew are providing right now” the TV shot shows the belt, with ‘Spike Jenkins’ engraved on the nameplate “because you sure as hell won’t be holding it in your hands anytime soon! Get the point? We are the Revolution! With us in the game, all bets are off! Don’t try rules, cos they do not apply! And if you want to know why we’re Revolution Zero...” Toxxic pauses for a moment to let the atmosphere of the HSBC Arena wash over him. The fans are booing and the people, as ever, hate him. But that doesn’t matter when he has a cause and a belief. “It’s because YOU’VE GOT... NO...CHANCE!!” There is a ‘thud’ as the microphone falls to the canvas. Sean Davis and Spike clamber out through the ring ropes and Toxxic rolls under them before the SWF’s newest coalition makes their way back up the ramp towards the backstage area. Each man looks straight ahead - well, Spike does steal a quick look over at his giggling fans, but apart from that. And above them, the white Smarktron still bears their message. WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION

God, Maddix sucks.

Erm... right. You know, generally we avoid killing SWF staff. It gets a bit messy. Plus, having a bunch of robed acolytes tends to be more of a religious gimmick thing... unless you're going for a redneck Ku Klux Klan vibe, which COULD work but... So yeah. What the fuck?

You do know the deadline is tomorrow, right Kibs?

Alas, WC, I don't think SWF management pay all that much attention to the booking of the dark matches. They're obviously our equivalent of Velocity and Heat. There's also a theory that they don't actually exist, but I'd ignore that one if I were you.

He remembers incorrectly.

But then again, this is an e-fed. Janus can write what he wants. If the match wins, then you have to blame the booker if you feel that it was 'unrealistic', 'overkill' or whatever. And if it won as a no-show, you have to blame the no-showing party or parties for not showing. I could get a match against Clark and write myself to seriously maim him. I could write myself to press slam Janus. Against a decent match, those matches would lose. Against a no-show, they'd win. Now Clark has a submissions match. Clark's submission offence is tailored to the legs, so it's not like he's going to be straining his neck much trying to lift people over his shoulders. Sure, he has a weak point - but in order to win any match you have to believably write yourself negating your own weakpoints and playing up your strengths. To this argurment, I also add what Z wrote.

MAIN EVENT SINGLES MATCH "The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs Toxxic (Special Guest Commentator: Janus) ~Yeah. Me beating Flesher in a singles match. Nope. Not happening. ~SD5 says I take it with the Caffeine Bomb! Ah, sweet revenge... ICTV TITLE BOUT LANDON'S DISGRESSION STIP Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix© vs Johnny Dangerous ~Landon all the way. LANDON IS GOLD~! TAG TEAM TITLE BOUT 42nd Street©* (Todd Cortez & The Masked Man) vs Spike Jenkins & Sean Davis * = Not 'official' champions ~Stable pride says the S.A.S (Spike & Sean) ~My treacherous console says that despite TMM being in the ring for a whole 30 seconds, a VERY beat-up Cortez wins over Spike with the Urban Assault SINGLES MATCH Ace Lezaire vs Dace Night ~Brit pride and my own feelings say Dace SUBMISSIONS MATCH Jamie Drazon vs Alan Clark ~Clark. Maybe FATAL FOUR WAY USJL TITLE #1 CONETENDERSHIP "The Icon" Max King vs Munich vs vs Manson vs Ced Ordonez ~King HARDCORE TITLE BOUT Ryan Dustin© vs Martin "Big Country" Hunt ~Dustin to retain! Yeah! SINGLES MATCH The Birdman vs Andrea Montgomery ~GOdrea SINGLES MATCH Edward James vs "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart ~The Wrestler Formerly Known As Aecas

Clark basically no-sold a Rage Unleashed from Janus. If he subsequently no-sells a Demonstar, I move we either eject him from the fed or hunt down Alan Clark (all five of him - seriously Rando, do you need FIVE different versions of the man?) and make him ultimate protector of the world, cos the guy has to be near-Superman invulnerability. [Rando - this is a hint to SELL] Meanwhile, let's all watch Flesher school my arse.

Team Purple? You guys are on the verge of losing my leadership qualities if that's the best you can do. You'd just better call you finisher the 'Perfect Spike', that's all I'm saying. And janus is a bitch for using the Denonstar. Is the Rage Unleashed not enough!? Good show though, congrats to all.

Yeah, bitches. Revolution Zero ARE IN THE HOUSE~!

Yeah... I always pictured Munich as a fairly happy-go-lucky, but this comes over more as an obsessed guy who's in denial of reality. Interesting. I'll be intrigued to see if this develops, certainly.

"That's not sweat! That's machismo, baby!" Heenan manages Dangerous.

Happy Birthday Taamo! You go, boy!

Personally, I love the fact that Petey got in the top 5 despite never winning. No doubt, he is the SWF's Funaki.

What about Mel Gibson, increased in size like the Hobbits were shrunk in Lord of the Rings? As for Toxxic - well, if Jason Statham grew his hair out, dyed it black, spiked it and wore eyeliner and nail varnish... he could do it. The accent wouldn't be right, but hey. It's not like I write Toxxic doing a REAL Nottingham accent or he'd be virtually unintelligible. Eh oop, mi duck!

MAIN EVENT HANDICAP MATCH Janus vs Alan Clark and Edward James (the WAYWARD SONS!) ~Janus. No question. ~SD:HCTP disagrees, as Eddy J(!) gets the pin on Janus following the Vengance. SINGLES MATCH FOR THE USJL CHAMPIONSHIP Masked Man vs Todd Cortez ~Gotta go Masked Man SINGLES MATCH ALSO UNDER CRUISERWEIGHT RULES "The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs Ced Ordonez ~Flesher, undoubtedly. SINGLES MATCH Manson vs "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart ~Brit pride (and common sense) says I back the former Black Angel TAG MATCH Ryan Dustin and Johnny Dangerous vs Martin "Big Country" Hunt and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix ~LANDON IS GOLD! His team will win. SINGLES MATCH Toxxic vs Jamie Drazon ~You know, much as Toxxic deserves 5002 ball shots, I'm confident I can take this one. ~SD5 predicts me winning by... a double-arm suplex? Oh well. SINGLES MATCH The Birdman vs Petey the Irish Penguin ~Hey! Do the Birdman! And wiggle your BUTT from side to side! (Is that right?). Uh, yeah... newbie, cos IL won't show. HARDCORE MATCH Ace Lezaire vs Rob Gilbert ~Ace. SINGLES MATCH Sean Davis vs Dace Night ~Brit Pride says Dace. Stable pride says Sean. I say... well, it's got to be Dace unless Davis pulls out an absolute fucking miracle. SINGLES MATCH FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP Austin Sly vs "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins ~Stable pride and my own belief says Spike, but it'll be damn close. And to curb Johnny's paranoia I will NOT be writing the match (although if Spike asks my advice, he'll get it). I'll take Johnny's comment as a compliment on my writing skillz tho. ~SD5 says Sly retains with a Northern Lights Suplex

Then feel free to write a match of your own, Rando, for the sake of developing the story. But you'll find it hard to convice me at least that anyone whose personality appears to consist of wet tissue paper would ever pose a threat to anyone.

Huh. You're all just lucky that I gave up on the Cruiserweight Division and have now crash-landed in the Main Event, or I'd be holding that belt so tight that even spontaneous multiple orgasms wouldn't make me let go Toxx-"You wanna play egos, my character acts like this ALL THE TIME"-ic

Well... if you find it hard to write against big opponents, logic would dictate you either adjust your moveset or scrap the wrestler and come back as someone bigger.