Gary Floyd

Here's a list of horror movies that I think aren't really good, but I love them anyway. Basically, if you like your horror movies corny, then I recommend these. Ghosts of Mars-John Carpenter basically combines two of his movies ("The Fog" and "Assault on Precinct 13") and comes up with this sucker. It's not great by any means, but it has it's charms, such as Ice Cube, Natasha Henstridge (remember her?), Pam Grier, and a villain named "Big Daddy Mars" who looks like a goth rock star. Lifeforce-Tobe Hooper's biggest budgeted movie still entertains me, in spite of the fact that it's goofy as hell. Basically, it has Space vampires (including a girl who is naked throughout the whole movie) who suck out people's souls, the population of London turning into zombie vampire things, London being destroyed, overacting, and Patrick Stewarts first on screen kiss-which is with Steve Railsback. Also, the first of two Tobe Hopper movies on the list. Burial Ground-Italian zombie trash is ludicrous fun, with zombies that for some unexplained reason can use weapons, plenty of tits and ass, a creepy midget playing a creepy kid who has a creepy crush on his mother, gore galore, a scientist saying to a zombie "No, I'm your friend!" Zombie Creeping Flesh (aka "Virus" and "Hell of the Living Dead)-If Ed Wood directed an Italian zombie gore flick, it would be like this. Contains pointless nudity, bad dialogue(ex. "What's eating you?"), tons of jungle stock footage, some decent gore, and a scene with a man in a tutu that's suppossed to be serious. Mortuary-I reviewed this a while back, but after seeing it a second time, I've grown to sort of like it. In this one, a family of three takes residence in a morgue at Arkham, Mass (if you know of the works of H.P. Lovecraft, you know this is a bad thing), and run into some problems-including a guy called Bobby Fowler, more H.P. Lovecraft references then you can shake a stick at, and a fungus that turns people into zombies. Zombi 3-Lucio Fulci's sequal to "Zombi 2" is largely hated, but so corny, it's hard for me to hate. This movie deals with a toxin that turns people into zombies, but that's just the beginning. Here, you get zombie birds, slow zombies, fast zombies, a Stevie Wonder gone Ratafarian radio DJ, gore, and best of all-a severed zombie head in a fridge that inexplicably flies out and attacks a guy. That's all for now. Here's some of what you might find in this blog this summer: -A look at the year so far -Two book reviews-One of Edward Lee's "The Bighead", and one of Joe Lansdale's "Dead in the West" -The worst Wrestling feuds of all time -overrated horror movies

I'm not voting in TSM polls that don't have "La Parka" as an option.

Deep Purple-Highway Star

I'll admit, I dug the whole "gay points" thing he did, and that the picture of the guy with money stuffed in his mouth was amusing. Other than that, I really don't miss him.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060623/ap_on_...m_investigation

WE DIDN'T LISTEN!

Well folks, I think we may have a winner.

Well, I was thinking of a zombie movie, but hey, whatever.

I get The Sleuth Channel, though i never watch it. I'm too busy watching either Cartoon Network, VH1 Classic, or The National Geographic Channel.

Soundtrack featuring new music from David Hasselhoff and Aarron Neville

I'm going with two

Candyman-8/10

Last time I posted in CE, I got insulted for saying that 9/11 conspiracy theories are bullshit.

That's right, TSM: The Movie. Produced by Mitch Hurwitz, with Bob Saget as lovecraft231 (he's older than me, and looks nothing like me, but what the hell) Well, you know what to do: add your own little bits and pieces. You know, who would play who, the plot, who would direct, who would write it, etc.

I do have this to say to Cheesala: "The Henry Rollins Show" sucks. It's really boring, and oh God, is it ever preachy. Also, I hear Rollins is a major asshole in person.

Beck-MTV Makes Me Want To Smoke Crack

Don't neglect that Nathan Jones will star in The Condemned with Austin. I think "The Condemned is the rip off of "The Running Man".

The politics of ooo feeling good! -Raw was a real mixed bag last night. Why are we all the sudden getting this uneeded supply of man ass all the sudden? Oh, that's right: DX is back, only now they're really boring. Also, Randy Orton getting cheered was really weird. Micky James is awesome again, now that Beth is momentarily gone. Eugene has gotten more annoying than usual, and is actually makng me look forward to the imminent destruction Umaga will give him. This amazes me, as I can't stand Umaga. -About the sand in Kotz's vagina: Kotz is one of my favorite posters here. -Here's another weird message board I found thanks to Something Awful's Weekend Web: Rob's Fantasy. Here, all your necrophillia dreams can be discussed. All the more proof that abortion isn't as bad as some make it out to be. -Leena's posting more, which is alright I guess. I wonder why Matt Young isn't posting as much, as he's much more tolerable than wildpegasus. -I don't know why, but I've been listening to a lot of synth pop lately, and not just Depeche Mode. I also mean Camouflage, Cause & Effect, and all the other one's not many people talk about. That's all for now. Next time: Shitty Horror Movies that I love

From what I hear, the next WWE movies (after "The Marine") will be a rip off of "The Running Man" starting Stone Cold Steve Austin, and a Western staring HHH and Undertaker.

Isn't Norah Jones on the new Mike Patton album?

Peeing out of your BUTT... ...I just know their is a fetish for this somewhere on the net.

You know, I've seen a lot of Horror movies in my lifetime. Hell, probably more than I can remember. Anyways, I've seen some good ones, some great ones, some ok ones, some guilty pleasures, and some really horrible ones. Here's a list of some of the really horrible ones. Strangeland-Dee Snider (Yes, of Twisted Sister fame) produced, wrote, and stars in this shitty S&M and internet themed horror film as Captain Howdy (yes, from "The Exorcist"), a guy who likes to lure teenage girls via chatrooms into his lair, so that he can torture and mutilater them, and who says really pathetic pseudo-intellectual bullshit. Also stars Robert Englund (who you end up seeing spread eagle in his tightie whities), Kevin Gage, and Linda Cardellini as one of Howdy's victims. Yes, you see poor Linda Cardellini tortured and mutilated. Dario Argento's The Phantom of the Opera-How could Dario Argento fuck this one up? The first in the man's unfortunate decline, this one stars Julian Sands as a disfigured killer raised by rats, who falls for Asia Argento, and kills anynody who harms his rats. In spite of some decent kills, this is a disaster. See Argento's "Opera" instead of this one. Still, it's at least better than the 2004 "Phantom of the Opera" Manhattan Baby-Some people will tell you that Lucio Fulci is one of the greatest horror director's that ever lived. If you ask me, he's just a guy who got lucky a few times, and directed a whole lot of shitty movies. This one is probably his worst. Basically, archaelogists unleash an evil Egyptian spirit, which possesses the daughter of one of the professors, and murders ensue. A real bore, without any interesting kills, atmosphere, or anything else. Faust: Love For the Damned-Brian Yuzna has really gone under a decline. This poorly done adaptation of the XXX comic (so, why bother doing it as an R-rated movie?) is horribly acted, corny, and while it has it's moments, is a bore. It also really wastes the talents of Jeffrey Combs and Andrew ("Wishmaster") Divoff. See "Return of the Living Dead 3" instead of this. Meat Market-I'll never understand the appeal of these dreadful shot on camcorder zombie movies. This movie has lesbian vampires, a luchador, and decent gore effects, yet blows it all on piss poor acting (it's obvious no one in it has had any acting lessons), poor attempts to mimick much better zombie movies, and dreadful attempts at comedy. From Dusk Till Dawn II: Texas Blood Money-Directed by "Evil Dead" producer Scott Spiegel, this shitfest, in spite of appearences from Bruce Campbell and Danny Trejo, actually manages to be worse than your average Direct-To-Video sequal thanks to bland as hell characters, a disappointing finale, and a waste of talent.

And to think, I kind of like the band (Hey, a man's allowed to have guilty pleasures, ok)