5_moves_of_doom

Levy and Munich are both in the ring! But look, there's E. HONDA!!! HUNDRED HAND SLAP AND BOTH MEN ARE DOWN OH GOD!

Five… Four… Three… Two… One… … The countdown reaches zero, as a blinding flash fills the screen and blinds all who view it at home. That is out aim, at least. The opening video package begins to play, with World Champion Johnny Dangerous, the Straight-Edge Sensation, Landon Maddix, Tom Flesher, Dace Night, the list goes on and on… That is, until the picture begins to distort and flicker in an eerily similar fashion. The resounding boos from the capacity crowd can already be heard as the picture turns black and white, before the picture finally returns to normal and we first catch a glimpse of… …Ace Lezaire. “Welcome, to ALL my adoring fans!” The crowd, however, are not adoring fans of the Canadian Superstar, and let him know that, but no matter what, Ace keeps on smiling, patting the United States Junior League title slung over his shoulder. “Y’know, they said I couldn’t do it… they said I would never amount to anything in this federation, but I have my faithful believers who have stuck by me through thick and thin, like you, the fans!” Again, the crowd drowns out the building with spiteful jeers, but they only serve to make Lezaire even happier. “Don’t worry, I know what you REALLY mean,” he says, winking to the camera and giving a thumbs up, Steve’s head coming into picture from behind the camera, shaking his head with a look of resignation on his face. “I appreciate your love and support, I really do, but now I prepare for bigger things. I’ve come to accept the fact, over many sleepless nights, that… I’m just so much better than all of you, the commoners, as I like to call you…” This REALLY keeps up the fans skin, but they can’t stop Lezaire from hijacking Storm for his own twisted, egomaniacal plans. “You’ve all been wonderful, but now, it’s time for me to reach greater heights, because me star is shining brightly and my stock is on the rise!” “And it’s all thanks to this… my title.” Yet more boos break out as they watch Lezaire pet his title as if it were a lover. “I’ll give it to him, David Cross put up one hell of a fight, but even he had to succumb… to perfection.” “But I digress… my true intention is not to grace you all with my mere presence, no no. I’m here on official business… you see, I just spoke with a man almost as dashing as I… the Suicide King.” Hearing the former Champion’s name almost causes a riot as the fans all stand up as one, wondering what important business he’s talking about. “And I said to him, ‘Kingo’ … I call him Kingo, were like brothers after all… ‘Kingo old buddy,’ I said, ‘having this title is all well and good, but it just doesn’t have that indescribable element that that makes it a true mark of excellence. It needs an injection of perfection, a true stamp of approval from Ace Lezaire himself, and Kingo’ I said ‘ I know just what it needs…’ so, Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls, may I introduce to you…” “…My new Canadian Championship.” The announcement, honestly, falls flat on its face, the fans expecting so much more, but the thought of their neighbors up north having an SWF title is too much to bear! Lezaire seems delighted with his work. “I knew you’d all be happy for me, after all, I was too good for the Junior League, they said. I’m a star, gosh darn it! And nothing’s gonna stop me now!” “…I’m gonna make it after all!” The scene fades out with Lezaire throwing his hat high into the air, until the picture turns completely black… before the cameras in the main arena switch on, showing the thousands on thousands of rabid fans, already eager for this show to get underway! Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley, on the other hand, are dumbfounded. “That was…” Comet begins to say, trying to find the right words… … And Riley knows exactly what to say… “Perfect.”

Riley: "I'm excited!" Comet: "Me too!" Riley: "Here we go!" The Smartmarks wrestling Federation presents... SWF LOCKDOWN, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 8TH (GUILTY GEAR X2#RELOAD DAY!), LIVE FROM THE GUND ARENA IN CLEVELAND, OHIO! (5:00pm PCT, 8:00pm EST; check local listings) Opening Promo: Ace Lezaire PRE-GENESIS 6-MAN ELIMINATION MATCH Toxxic, “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins, & Ace Lezaire vs David Cross, Manson, & Dace Night With Genesis just around the corner, big matches are sure to happen on a special Sunday. But why can’t they happen now? Here’s one that will send the crowd home happy. Unless Spike wins and they get pissed and throw garbage. Just kidding Spike. You know I love you. Rules: DQ and countout apply. Survivor Series rules, tags and eliminations and all that. ICTV TITLE REMATCH The Masked Man vs Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix© This match is happening again, due to a lot of fourth wall stuff that telling you here would break the illusion that we’re all not really wrestlers. Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply. MUTHA’ ****’N OLD SCHOOL MATCH Jamie Drazon vs “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens AWWWWW YEEEAAA, We kickin’ it old school up in this Geezy (Gund) fo’ sheezy with two people that knew how to rock it and roll it and they ain’t got to poll it to know it. Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply. CRUSIERWEIGHT MATCH The Birdman vs Tom Flesher With Ryan Dustin On Commentary Ryan Dustin will join our dynamic duo and call this match. But will he be able to stay in his seat, or take an opportunity to soften the champion up? Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply. Dustin may write a match if he feels like it. SUBMISSIONS MATCH “The Icon” Max King vs Todd Cortez Max King tunes up the band in preparation for Genesis, and he goes one on one with the Urban Legend. Rules: Submissionly only, no pinfalls. SINGLES MATCH Mike Van Siclen vs Sean Davis This match was cancelled on Storm due to inclement weather. ...yeah. Let’s try it again. Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply. HARDCORE #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH Austin Sly vs Candace These two will face off in a hardcore match for a shot at that sweet title we used to call the Hardcore Gamer’s Championship, which was cool because I’M A HARDCORE GAMER, BABY. Rules: None, really PLEASE WRITE A MATCH Bryan Levy vs Munich Please please please. Rules: Singles match, DQ and countout apply.

Here's my top three. I love a lot of those bands though... but not Culture Club. Seriously. Not Culture Club. 1.) The Clash 2.) Violent Femmes 3.) The Smiths

This second-disc on the Grace Deluxe Edition is well worth the extra price. The alternate takes/live takes are great, and "Alligator Wine" is a hoot. Some of the unreleased tracks show a side of Buckley that you just don't see on the actual album, too.

That, oddly enough, is the EXACT situation with me. Mercury has been my favorite for my entire life, and he just might have been replaced. Right now I'd say they're about tied on my list, or it's a "depending on the mood" thing, but mainly I'd say that's just because I'm so reluctant to take the top spot away from Freddie. Anyhow, I will definitely pick up a live release. Are the Grace EP's any good, or just a complete waste? Oh, and who is it that wrote "Lilac Wine"? I don't recognize the name at all.

Jeff Buckley -- Grace I know basically nothing about this guy aside from his father and his death, but I read an interesting article the other day on the new deluxe edition release of his one and only album, and said what the hell, I'll pick it up. I'd heard a lot about him and loved "Lilac Wine," but for some reason had never gone deeper into his catalogue. But I must say, this is amazing. I am completely digging this guy now, and it's tragic that he died so early in his career. I'm sad to say that I've got very little to contribute to this topic, but I figured that between all of you guys, I could find out a little more about him and some of your opinions. So, anything Grace related, Jeff Buckley related, or -- hell -- *Tim* Buckley related... discuss. I'm absolutely flabbergasted at how I did not get into him earlier.

Yes, I was referring to the Femmes show. Sorry about the phrasing. My matches have long since been marked, and the show is up, so... yes. Problem solved.

How do I beat the HangGliding on the Super Nintendo version of PilotWings? Semi-obscure question, I know. But if anyone has a clue, please help a brother out, and stuff.

Birdman, to save time just send your match to the poster of the show since your opponent is noshowing. As for the Main Event... the show's not for another 2 hours or so, but I need to run out for about an hour. I'll be back and hopefully, HOPEFULLY can mark the Main Event in time. If ANYONE is not marking and has time to... volunteers would be appreciated, but I'll try to get back. Er, yes. We shall see. TNT IS A FLAKE, AND THE SHOW IS TONIGHT, THE 3RD, AS ADVERTISED.

I'll be leaving probably just a little bit after the deadline, actually. I just can't handle any extensions of any sort, and I would greatly appreciate it if you tried to get your match in about an hour prior to the deadline or something, just because it takes me a while to mark matches (when they're even vaguely close I've been known to have mini-meltdowns... I'm very reluctant to pick a final winner.) Anyway, the real issue here is the Main Event, which is basically needed for the show to go up... so Birdman, if you can't get your match in like an hour before the deadline or so, then it'll be fine, I'll just edit your match in. Though to be honest, I've edited in something like the last two or three matches I've marked, and don't specifically want to turn that into a regular thing, so... well, try to get the match in... if not, then what the hell. Better that you make sure your match is the best that it can be and me have to edit the winner in than you rushing just because I've got a concert to attend, eh?

No order here. 1.) Henry Chinaski -- Barfly 2.) Travis Bickle -- Taxi Driver 3.) Nosferatu -- Nosferatu 4.) Holly Golightly -- Breakfast at Tiffany's 5.) Sonny -- Dog Day Afternoon Didn't put a lot of thought in it so those might not necessarily be my top five... but they'd all definitely make my top ten.

How's the Bjork, Kibsy?

I felt sort of guilty for not really commenting on the card at all, and felt it worth noting that I am looking forward to reading that match. Impress me or die.

Woo, double marking-duty after not being put on as a marker on the last card. I've already got Toxxic's match, and so Grand Slam, if you could get your match in like halfway through tomorrow, that would be awesome... or if anyone who I'm marking for is noshowing, please let me know early. I'm going to see the Violent Femmes tomorrow night, and I'd like to get my job done before I leave. I guess Birdman/Dustin could in theory be edited in a couple of hours after the show is posted (or just like one hour... I don't know when the show would go up) if you guys can't get your matches in until the absolute deadline, but for the Main Event I'd like to get everything done by the time I leave tomorrow so that there's a Main Event to *post*. Anyway, I'd like to know if Mark is no-showing/agreeing-to-no-show/going to be able to get a match in by the time I leave tomorrow... so Mark, PM me and give me the lowdown. Uhm, yes, this post has been sort of poorly written and semi-pointless... but... it's late, and... well, I'll let you guys know how the Violent Femmes turn out. WOO!

The Violent Femmes, Pixies, Guided By Voices, and Wilco (though I think Wilco overflows into winter.) ZING! Now I just need Tom Waits to tour for his new album, and I'm set.

Yes. Yes. Yes. YES.

Make an out-of-kayfabe list, then.

Nice. Nice. Nice. NICE.

Heard "Where Is My Mind?" at the end of Fight Club while watching it with commentary on, and heard Brad Pitt say "Ugh, I just love the Pixies." Went upstairs to my room and immediately downloaded some songs... I guess "Where is My Mind?" is the one that most people like at first, but I remember just thinking they were good until I listened to the first song I had downloaded -- "Debaser." Went out, bought the two-disc best-of/live-set... and they've been my favorite ever since, and that was like 3 years ago. ...Thanks Brad Pitt!

...Wait, ANOTHER new Zeppelin DVD? Zuh?

I am a big fan of lists. Don't do too many though, because when we run out of all but the obscure ones and find ourselves having a "Top 10 Sydney Sky Promos" extravaganza~!, we will regret it. But yes, that was fun. I wish that I had had an affair with Misty way back when and done a feud with Ash so that I could be here today.

Agreed with everything. I also would like to add "Gigantic" by the Pixies, though. Also, "Wish You Were Here" by the Floyd. Sweeeet.

...Me? Then again, the 1992 remake of Godzilla vs. Mothra *was* pretty bad...

Wait... he did?