Ok I know my job isn't the worst....

[Lightning Flik 0]

I work in a video store and we have white trash whine about 15 cents in late charges. Then we get people who return DVD cases with no DVD in the case and when they finally bring the disc back the yell and scream like little bitches because they have late charges.

 

And if I hear do you have the Two Towers one more time at work I'm going to cry.

 

...ah, good ol' Blockbuster (as in, where I used to work).

 

God, I mean really now. When did the term "the customer is always right" come into affect for video renters/buyers, because my fucking God, I've never seen a bunch of stupid fuckers EVER.

 

 

Oh and here's a good story.

 

A couple come in and I inform them that they have an outstanding balance of $XX.XX (I forgot the exact amount). They were totally cool with that and so I was about ready to process the transaction through and then, all of the sudden, the wife asks the husband "uh, sweetie, we didn't rent those movies."

 

She decides to argue this AFTER she fucking agreed. But I was like, ok, so she hasn't been paying attention. It was Monday, people don't think on Mondays.

 

Needless to say there's this huge ass line up and these retards then argue that it wasn't them who rented the movie but rather her sister (who is on the account) even though I state that the rental was rented out to the wife and was rented out on the exact date that they had.

 

I get a call from my boss to hurry it up. Needless to say, he wasn't happy about my slow progress but like what the fuck am I supposed to do? Throw the lady out and have the rest of the lineup walk out?

 

So needless to say the bitch THEN decides to one up the fucking ante and mentions that she shouldn't have to pay because it's her sister's fault and that makes it alright for her not to pay for the late fees on the account. I inform her that she would still have to pay the late charges if she wanted to rent the movie, so she grudgingly agreed, all the while the husband wasn't too terribly impressed with the arguement he's basically going at this as he even knows she rented it out.

 

Needless to say, I finally got her satisfied by finally telling her that I would remove her sister from her account and she accepted that and immediately paid of her late fees.

***

Then there was this lady who I asked for her Driver's License to open up an account at Blockbuster's and she told me that she didn't have one. I told her that I couldn't open up an account without it because I needed some piece of identification that allows me to prove that the lady is who she says she is.

 

 

Well, she immediately erupted into a tale of woe as her husband had been abusive to her and her children, and she was on the run from him. She said that because she moved so many times and had to relocate so many times, the address wouldn't be correct (which we need to varify is correct) even if she did show it. I understood her pleas, but under the Membership Rules & Regulations notice we had up, I even pointed it out to her that we needed it for the legal reasons stated.

 

Again she went on a tirade of injustice and how this was absolutely bullshit and demanded to speak to my manager. I informed her that the manager wasn't worker however I would get ahold of my assistant manager. He goes over there and basically informs her of everything I had told her and then one ups it further by saying there wasn't much we could do as that is policy.

 

The lady at this point blows up and says that it's discriminatory that we don't allow her to have an account just because of what she was going through. She then gets my name, my assistant manager's name, and of course, my manager's name written down and informs us that she'll be having the cops make a visit on us.

 

right we thought. You do that. As if the cops would seriously believe you.

 

...low and behold an hour later, guess who show up? Yup, the cops. But of COURSE the customer doesn't show up because of all the discrimination she went through. So my assistant manager took care of most of it, while I got asked one or two questions about the whole deal and the cops believed us and that was it.

***

Those are probably some of the stupidiest things that have happened during my three year tenure with Blockbuster Canada.

[Guest The Grand Pubah of 1620]

Johnson: You should join us.

Client: No.

Johnson: I am right, you are wrong. Join us

Client: How do I know this will make me money?

Johnson: It will.

Client: Prove it.

Johnson: It will make you money.

Client: How?

Johnson: I can't tell you- but I am not wrong. I am right

If only it were that easy bob, my stress level would be a lot lower.

[MrRant 0]

Where is the proof that you didn't just pull that company out of your ass hmm?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I work third shift in a warehouse shipping cigarettes, and one of the women in my department is the bulging troll of a creature, with moldy teeth, glasses as thick as a clear milkshake, and a smell that makes bile rise in my throat. Real bile, as black as her rotting incisors, and as thick as her roamy thighs.

 

She's infinitely lazy and stupid, and everything she says makes me want to split her skull with a reallyfuckin'big brick.

 

Other than that, I go home sweaty for the most part every night, but I never have to bother with any fuckin' customers, or smile for anybody, or even be nice or care about my job. I put boxes on a pallet, or put cartons of cigarettes in boxes. I have absolutely no responsibility at all, it pays ok, and the most trying thing is enduring that horrid bitch's pop country howling that is constantly coming from her crackling radio. A small price to pay.

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

2 more dumb customer stories

------------------------------------------

I had a man bringing back a telephone one day. Our return policy is that you can bring back anything within 90 days. Sometimes I'm nice and if it's something we still carry, I'll let them exchange it. Well this guy had a phone that we didnt' carry, had his receipt which showed that it was purchased almost a year before. So I told him that we couldn't take it back, but if he wanted, we could print him out a work order so he could send it back to get repaired (which is what we do after 90 days). He starts screaming at me saying we shouldn't even sell phones if we're not going to warranty them for so long. I shrugged my shoulders, and went back to electronics. The man follows me, and when I get back behind the register, says to me.

 

"Where does it say that you only warranty them for 90 days?"

 

I pointed to the big ass sign hanging over my head, to which he replied with a defeated "Oh" and then "Well I"m still not satisfied, I'm going to write to Wal-mart about this.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Had this happen this past Sunday. A mexican man was buying a T.V. I rang him up and his total was $117. He pulls out $100 in $20 bills, then asks me if he can pay the rest with a check. I say sure. He then takes a check out of his pocket and throws it on the counter. I pick it up, look at it, see that it's already filled out with the amount and has a signature, which is a big red flag to me. So I ask the man for some ID.

 

Me: Can I see some ID?

Mexican: Mine!

Me: I know, but I need to see some ID to verify

Mexican: Mine! My Check!

Me (getting irritated): You've said that, but I need to

make sure.

Mexican: My Check! Mine! Mine!

Me (about to jump across the counter: YES, BUT I NEED

TO SEE SOME ID!

 

Well he finally produces some ID. I look at the picture, and look at him, and it's correct in that respect. Then I look at the address on the check, and it doesn't match. The signature on the check doesn't match the ID, and then I notice the signature on the check and the addressee doesn't match either. Realizing I'm dealing with a possible stolen check here, I tell the man I can't accept it, in which he pulls out another $20 and pays.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Alright...

 

 

I... sadly... work at a Long John Silvers...

 

 

the story I can remember at this point is such:

 

.......

 

 

I was working drive-thru one day and it was pretty busy... we can handle a car paying, a car after that, and a car at the speaker...and then a line...

 

 

so I had the 3 cars and a line...and I got a car out and every pulled up...

 

*DING* (next car)

 

Me: Thanks for choosing Long John Silvers...may I help you

 

Person says NOTHING...

 

 

 

So I work with the car at the window, take the cash, hand out the food...and it pulls out...and the car at the speaker...that didn't say a FUCKING WORD...pulls through...

 

 

so now I can not take the next order because I have to wait for whomever is in that car to order...

 

 

BAH!

 

so we are fucking busy and i was waiting on food for the car at the window...which he ended up waiting nearly five minutes...now i'm pissed because I could have gotten a few cars through in the 5 minute span...

 

I finally get that car out of there

 

so now the car that ignored me at the speaker has pulled up to the window and this woman asks me:

 

"what does that sign say back there about 10 cents?"

 

The sign is about upsizing drinks from medium to large for 10 cents...

 

I tell her this and she says "OH" and pulls out...

 

 

SHE WAITED FIVE MINUTES TO ASK THIS QUESTION!!

 

I was so fucking pissed off I almost punched her...

 

 

 

 

we also had 28 people (a church group) come in a half hour before closing time and order 175 dollars in food...

 

and then be completely fucking rude THE ENTIRE TIME... treated all of us like shit... even my boss was getting a little impatient with their attitude...considering there were only 4 people working (front line, drive-thru, cook, manager) and we were working our asses off to fix everything as fast as we could.

[Dr. Tom 0]

Ahh... yes.... Morons who just freaking can't be bothered to UPDATE THEIR GODDAMN COMPUTER AND FUCK OVER MY LIFE AND MAKE ME WORK.

It's not so much that, as we get new virus definitions hourly, based on the Army's contract with Symantec, and we have the latest SAV and a firewall in place. Exchange does a poor job of filtering infected emails, even in conjunction with SAV, and when people see an email titled "Your account" from "[email protected]," they open it. For some reason, not everyone had the virus definitions that would have stopped that in its tracks. We also have several users connecting remotely who don't get the network updates, and a lot of them got hit. And since they have to call in and do their updating over 56k, the whole thing was quite a bitch.

[Dr. Tom 0]

Well, when any of you guys have to wine and dine a client who's account means 6 digits to your company, and the guys a total douche. The I may have sympathy, may.

Tell you what, Johnson: I'll wine and dine someone from the arts and croissants crowd, and you can explain to full-bird Colonels and Generals why their PCs don't work, without telling them it's their fault (even though it is), all while they're staring at you like you'd make a good practice dummy for the firing squad. Going out to dinner with some random fuckwad would be a nice change of pace after the past few weeks.

[dutchse.cx 0]

Not quite the same thing, but I just got finished installing wireless mouses (mice?) and keyboards for the government team I'm under contract to. One guy flat out refused to change his keyboard and mouse for God knows what reason. The bright side is that now I get his new keyboard. But it drove me nuts doing it because I told everyone "Stick around, I need you to retype in your passwords so I can finish."

 

And they always fucking disappear on me! What's so goddamned hard about staying in place for 10 minutes?

 

Another fun thing is that I get to play with smoke systems now and then. I'm not going to go into too much detail (not that it's classified or anything), but they're run by a jet engine and some of them use graphite. Very finely ground graphite. Powdery. Dusty. Now for those who don't play with it, graphite gets EVERYWHERE. There are slick floors in some of the hallways in the buildings I work in because of graphite (It's a natural dry lubricant), so every now and then (still rare, thank God), I'll walk down a hallway and just fall on my ass. Plus, like I said before, graphite gets everywhere. Do not wear your good clothes while working with it. I had to empty a container of it once (about 300lbs worth). I used gloves and even then, when I pulled my gloves off, my HANDS were black with the shit.

 

One more little fun bit, as I said before the systems are powered by a jet engine. So imagine what it's like standing next to a disconnected graphite hose you're unaware of when the system is suddenly turned on. I got to go home early that day.

[the max 0]

I sell shoes.

 

Most of my complaints are people yelling at me about them not getting a discount, them thinking that I'm following them around the store, them getting mad for asking how they are doing, and people trying to rip me off with the register.

 

Oh, and one guy threatening to kick my ass because I wouldn't exchange his shoes out.

[Zack Malibu 0]

OK, so we all know where I work. Try dealing with a bunch of marks everday, ranging from the typical, understandable 8 year old mark who wants to know when his order is getting in, to the 40 year old mark who tells me that "Sting is gonna come and beat up Triple H, because he's got a bat and that'll stop him from using the sledgehammer".

 

An example of the gems that I get on the phone. We actually keep a list here:

 

PEOPLE WHO ANSWER THEIR OWN QUESTIONS:

 

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Yeah, how much are them $30 belts?"

 

KIDS WHO THINK THEY'RE OLDER THAN THEY REALLY ARE:

 

"Hi, what can I get for you?"

Kid (in deep, mock "adult" voice):"Hi, I would like to order the World Championship belt."

"Anything else?"

Kid:"Yes, and the US Title, and 2 Tag Team Titles."

"Is that it?"

Kid:"Yes. Would you like my credit card?"

"Sure, what's the number?"

Kid:"1234...5...um...1234."

 

I've got tons more as well. I love my job, but I'll be damned if we don't draw some of the biggest idiots in recorded history on occasion.

[Ripper 0]

I sell shoes.

 

Most of my complaints are people yelling at me about them not getting a discount, them thinking that I'm following them around the store, them getting mad for asking how they are doing, and people trying to rip me off with the register.

 

Oh, and one guy threatening to kick my ass because I wouldn't exchange his shoes out.

Do you come home with a "A fat woman walked in the shoe store today" story? That would make you the MAN~!

[the max 0]

I sell shoes.

 

Most of my complaints are people yelling at me about them not getting a discount, them thinking that I'm following them around the store, them getting mad for asking how they are doing, and people trying to rip me off with the register.

 

Oh, and one guy threatening to kick my ass because I wouldn't exchange his shoes out.

Do you come home with a "A fat woman walked in the shoe store today" story? That would make you the MAN~!

sadly, no.

 

For some reason, we only get attractive girls. They seem to like me, only because I'm not a chauvinist bastard like most of the guys that I work with.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I already AM the man

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

So anywho, we have a sign posted on our film dropoff box that says a pack of double prints, 24 exp. is $4.94. After you add the 7% sales tax, it rounds out to $5.30. Well I rung up this one woman's pictures, told her the total, and she starts screaming at me about it.

 

She's like "Well I thought it was only $4.94" I looked at her and said "It is, but that is before tax. If you add tax you get this".

 

She argued with me for a good 2 mins, me still stating that it's tax, and there was nothing I could do about it, in which she finally states "Well that signs wrong and you need to change it!"

On a related topic, I love it when a customer buys something at 10% off, which usually only covers the tax plus an additional 1-2%, and when their purchase is rung up they are shocked to find out that they're pretty much paying the retail cost of that item.

 

This makes me wonder what kind of savings they were expecting -- 50%?...

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

So anywho, we have a sign posted on our film dropoff box that says a pack of double prints, 24 exp. is $4.94.  After you add the 7% sales tax, it rounds out to $5.30.  Well I rung up this one woman's pictures, told her the total, and she starts screaming at me about it. 

 

She's like "Well I thought it was only $4.94"  I looked at her and said "It is, but that is before tax.  If you add tax you get this".

 

She argued with me for a good 2 mins, me still stating that it's tax, and there was nothing I could do about it, in which she finally states "Well that signs wrong and you need to change it!"

On a related topic, I love it when a customer buys something at 10% off, which usually only covers the tax plus an additional 1-2%, and when their purchase is rung up they are shocked to find out that they're pretty much paying the retail cost of that item.

 

This makes me wonder what kind of savings they were expecting -- 50%?...

Oh god, you should of seen it earlier this month then. We had a tax-free weekend up here. The General Assembly set up guidelines that only clothes, school supplies, and computers were tax-free. I don't know how many people would buy a PS2, or a DVD player and bitch to me about the fact that I charged them tax. Even had a CSM get cussed out.

 

Customer:Yes I was at your store today, and I got charged tax

CSM:yes

Customer:I thought it was a no tax weekend.

CSM:It is, but that only applies to certain items.

Customer:Well you had signs posted.

CSM:yes but our computers take off the tax on certain items only

Customer: Well your computers wrong YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU'RE A GOTDAMN FUCKIN IDIOT!

 

then she hung up

[Guest The Grand Pubah of 1620]

Well, when any of you guys have to wine and dine a client who's account means 6 digits to your company, and the guys a total douche. The I may have sympathy, may.

Tell you what, Johnson: I'll wine and dine someone from the arts and croissants crowd, and you can explain to full-bird Colonels and Generals why their PCs don't work, without telling them it's their fault (even though it is), all while they're staring at you like you'd make a good practice dummy for the firing squad. Going out to dinner with some random fuckwad would be a nice change of pace after the past few weeks.

You are a better man then me Tom. I couldn't do what you just explained. If they were at fault, then I would have to tell them. So I wouldn't last too long.

[Ripper 0]

Well, when any of you guys have to wine and dine a client who's account means 6 digits to your company, and the guys a total douche. The I may have sympathy, may.

Tell you what, Johnson: I'll wine and dine someone from the arts and croissants crowd, and you can explain to full-bird Colonels and Generals why their PCs don't work, without telling them it's their fault (even though it is), all while they're staring at you like you'd make a good practice dummy for the firing squad. Going out to dinner with some random fuckwad would be a nice change of pace after the past few weeks.

Are you guys one of the bases that are getting new servers? If so, I can say that I will be helping make more work for Dr. Tom!!!!

[Nevermortal 0]

I'm an occasional landscaper...

 

And that job is the fucking worst ever.

 

I'm only doing it because the guy I work for is my cousin and my dad's making me.

 

Try mowing a lawn on an incline. It sucks a dick.

[Dr. Tom 0]

Are you guys one of the bases that are getting new servers? If so, I can say that I will be helping make more work for Dr. Tom!!!!

Trying to get yourself banned, Ripper?

 

Actually, we get new servers as we need them. In the past year, we've replaced at least half of our Sun servers, and gotten several new racks of HP server products for the Windows side of things.

[CanadianChris 0]

Try explaining to a senior VP of a company many times larger than your "company" why his computer is broke.

 

Bitch.

My "company" is Fujitsu, ass.

 

If you are not familiar with them then I suggest...Clicking here.

Oh yes...you 're the guys who made the hard drives with the error that causes the disk to become inoperable after 12-18 months.

 

Yeah, I remember you. "Company" is definitely the correct term.

[Damaramu 0]

OK, so we all know where I work.

Actually....I don't.....but it sounds annoying. I hate anything with answering a phone. People seem to lose any sense of intelligence on the phone.

[MrRant 0]

Ahh... yes.... Morons who just freaking can't be bothered to UPDATE THEIR GODDAMN COMPUTER AND FUCK OVER MY LIFE AND MAKE ME WORK.

It's not so much that, as we get new virus definitions hourly, based on the Army's contract with Symantec, and we have the latest SAV and a firewall in place. Exchange does a poor job of filtering infected emails, even in conjunction with SAV, and when people see an email titled "Your account" from "[email protected]," they open it. For some reason, not everyone had the virus definitions that would have stopped that in its tracks. We also have several users connecting remotely who don't get the network updates, and a lot of them got hit. And since they have to call in and do their updating over 56k, the whole thing was quite a bitch.

Oh... we had the new updates. Of course our remote users didn't. Got to the point I just mailed some out a CDR with the patch and FixBlast on them.

[Anakin Flair 0]

I work for Met Life taking claims over the phone. recently, I had a 70 year old lady from Hannible MO call to see about reporting damagee to her car. It seems the person hit her and left, but it was the same person that hit her veh a week ago. If that wasn't funny enough, this nie old lady was cursing up a storm, and we ended up talking for about 15-20 minutes,and she never filed the claim. People like that make me happy that I'm doing what I'm doing.

On the downside, My last call of the night was an elderly lady who was hit by the blackout, which caused her sump pump to fail and water to flood a storage room, ruining clothes, elctronics, paintings, and other valuable antiques and family heirlooms. And to top it off, her husband had a heart attack and was in the hospital, listed as critical. Those calls always make me pause for a few minutes afterwards to collect myself.

 

One more funny one- My second week on my own I get a call from a homeowner who leased his house out to a renter, who blew his brains out with a shotgun in hte master bedroom. The owners attitude towards it: Are we coverd for the clean up?

Gold.

[Anakin Flair 0]

Yeah here's another one. Being a pizza restraunt that for some reason hasn't joined the technology age we still take our orders on a ticket.

So I hate it when people walk in and look at you and know that you don't have the ticket ready to start writing and then look at the menu and begin ordering without you even being ready....

"Yeah I want 3 large Pepperoni's, 2 orders of breadsticks, and a 2 liter pepsi...how much is that???"

At this point you've just finished writing the order and haven't even gotten to use the calculator to figure there total and they look at you and roll there eyes and sigh heavily until you get there total. I just want to tell them "you know what...we reserve the right to refuse service to anyone...that means you...bye bye".

Or when they start ordering as they walk through the door...nothing is more irritating than that.

I actually did that once.

 

I was working at Steak 'n Shake. We only had a few empty table, which were all dirty, and no busser. This lady comes in and asks if I will clean off a table for her, and I say "Sure, just one minute." So I go to grab a BusBin to clean off the table, when one of my orders comes up. So, I run the food, and they want extra stuff, which I go and get for them. Took me five minutes, tops. So, I'm rushing back down the isle to get teh busbin and I tell the lady "I'm sorry for the wait, I had to run some food. I'll be right back to clean off the table."

Well, tis lady rolls her eyes and says in this really bitchy, almost condecending tone Well, we've been waiting here for 15 minutes!"

No, this was in the middle of dinner rush, we were packed and understaffed, and back then I had a very short temper (still do, though it may be slightly better now.) So, I just look at the lady and say "You know what m'am, you don't want to wait, there's the door." And I pointed to the door. She looks at me with this look that just screams 'I can't believe this boy just told me off!' and demands to talk to my sup. I point him out and get to cleaning the table. Later, me and my Sup talk and we laughed at the whole thing.

 

Then there was the time I parked my car in the drive-thru to shut it down, but that's a story for another day.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I'm a canadian and I'm a lumberjack.

 

I win the stereotypical job award.

[dutchse.cx 0]

Exchange does a poor job of filtering infected emails, even in conjunction with SAV, and when people see an email titled "Your account" from "[email protected]," they open it. For some reason, not everyone had the virus definitions that would have stopped that in its tracks.

 

Didn't catch this part earlier. Our team got a collective e-mail telling everyone about the Blaster Worm and basically saying "Hey, if something's weird, tell systems repair." Since I knew how to get rid of the virus and run the patch so it wouldn't happen again, I sent FixBlast.exe and the Windows patch over e-mail to everyone on the team and left instructions on what to do. I also told them if they needed help to let me know.

 

So anyway, I talked to a few of them today and asked "Hey, how'd the Blaster Worm thing go?"

 

"Oh, we ran the program and didn't find the worm."

 

"Did you install the patch?"

 

"Well, we didn't find the worm, so we figured we didn't need to."

 

I could fucking slap some people over this shit.

[Damaramu 0]

Ok here was one today...it was great. This lady calls being a bitch and everything I answered sent her off the deep end.

"Yeah are you delivering!?"

*looks outside at the heavy rain*

"Yessss.......but it'll be about an hour."

"A WHOLE HOUR!?"

"Yes...it's raining heavily."

"GOD!"

"Sorry"

"Ok do you have cheese dippers!?"

*thinking of mazzio's*"No....we have Italian Cheese Bread though...."

"I wanted Cheese Dippers...."

"It's the same thing...."

"Oh well I want it delivered..."

"It's only 2.99...you have to have 5 dollars to have a delivery."

"Well JEEZ WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO ORDER? WHAT DO YOU HAVE!?"

*me now hating the bitch*

"We have pizza..."

"Well duh..."

*now wanting to kill her*

"We have pizza, pop, hot wings, and salad."

"No no...what do you have for dessert? Any dessert sticks?"

*wondering what the hell a dessert stick may be*

"We have cinammon bread..."

"How much is that!?"

".99 cents..."

"Still not enough!?"

"No....."

"Well what all can you put on your salads!?"

*names all possible salad topping not including cheese b/c we don't have any for a salad*

"Well I want just cheese..."

"We can't put cheese on it...."

"OH GOD! JUST NEVERMIND! BYE!"

*cordially* "Bye bye...you have a great day..."

"ASSHOLE!" *click*

It's moments like this that make me happy....

[Guest Ecto Cooler]

The security guard I work with and I were pranking the new guy today. The guard had his cell-phone and was calling the front desk asking if we had certain products in stock. Now I work at a small conveniance store/pharmacy, so only me and the new guy were working.

 

Guard: Um, hey babes do you have any Rosemerry?

 

:: new guy is flustered ::

 

Guard: Well I just LOVE Rosemerry, can you see if it's in stock?

 

:: new guy puts down phone and proceeds to walk the aisles in search of Rosemerry ::

 

Me and the guard were standing by the door doing this for a good half-hour, and he just kept walking past us and walking back. I was surprised he didn't stop and ask me if we had any of the stuff in stock.

 

Fun times

[Guest The Grand Pubah of 1620]

Try explaining to a senior VP of a company many times larger than your "company" why his computer is broke.

 

Bitch.

My "company" is Fujitsu, ass.

 

If you are not familiar with them then I suggest...Clicking here.

Oh yes...you 're the guys who made the hard drives with the error that causes the disk to become inoperable after 12-18 months.

 

Yeah, I remember you. "Company" is definitely the correct term.

I don't deal with hardware. Sorry.

[Vern Gagne 0]

erThe owners attitude towards it: Are we coverd for the clean up?

Gold.

Very Costanza like.