Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 5, 2003 I was just called for Jury Duty for next week, and it caused me to cancel plan to take important tests, and a very important Dr's appointment. Also just for your information, being a full-time student is not a valid excuse for getting excused. If I have any stories I will share them with you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ripper 0 Report post Posted September 5, 2003 I was just called for Jury Duty for next week, and it caused me to cancel plan to take important tests, and a very important Dr's appointment. Also just for your information, being a full-time student is not a valid excuse for getting excused. If I have any stories I will share them with you. Did they actually speak to you...I'm sure you have enough to get out of it on a insanity claim alone. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 5, 2003 I was just called for Jury Duty for next week, and it caused me to cancel plan to take important tests, and a very important Dr's appointment. Also just for your information, being a full-time student is not a valid excuse for getting excused. If I have any stories I will share them with you. Did they actually speak to you...I'm sure you have enough to get out of it on a insanity claim alone. No, not yet, but I do plan to discuss the Necromicon with them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 5, 2003 Damn. I clicked on here hoping to read amusing Pauly Shore anecdotes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 5, 2003 Where do you live, Plush? because in Ohio I goout of jury duty about three years ago for being a full-time student. I just needed to send a copy of my class schedule as proof. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 5, 2003 Where do you live, Plush? because in Ohio I goout of jury duty about three years ago for being a full-time student. I just needed to send a copy of my class schedule as proof. I live in Southern California. Just for your information, the person who I had contacted said I have a "questionable" background, but I have not recieved a paper copy yet. By the way, it didn't stop me from getting into the Delayed Entry Program, unless this asshole is just fucking with me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted September 5, 2003 (edited) Oh man, where should I start? OK, long story short. I was summoned during my final semester of college and I had a ton or so responsibilities in my everyday life. I went to the Pittsburgh courthouse and sat all day basically doing nothing. Then, with less than 30 minutes to go in the day this scumbag lawyer and prosecutor are looking over us. I pull out my most recent issue of National Review, making sure the scumbag defense lawyer would see it. However, it didn’t help because I was selected. The next three days were spent on a case where some guy with a beard about as long as I am tall fighting a DUI arrest. Well, only about 2 hours were spent actually hearing the case – most of the time we were all in this cramped little room doing jack sh*t. Oh I wish I had a Gameboy back then. Anyway, the highlight of the trial came when the defendant took the stand. When asked why he refused to take a breathalyzer or any other instrument to determine if he was drunk, the guy said all that was against his religion. Turns out he was part of an extreme Lutheran sect (BTW: I’m a confirmed Lutheran) that didn’t believe in breaking the skin (blood test) or doing whatever it is a breathalyzer is supposed to do. He also said his religion forbids getting pictures taken for driver’s licenses and proved it by showing his without a photo. When asked why is all this activity necessary the guy answered that these things are part of some New World Order plot. The Prosecutor then grabbed the guy’s pocket Bible and asked him to look up and justify what he just said. Later on, when the scumbag defense lawyer was questioning his client, the judge turned away to go over some paperwork for some other case and the scumbag lawyer went up to the stand and began whispering stuff into his client’s ear. I will never forget this exchange as long as I live. DA: Objection your honor. Judge: *looks up* On what grounds? DA: He’s talking to the defendant! Well, when we went to deliberate there was one woman that didn’t want to vote guilty because she felt bad for the hippie. Another woman didn’t want to vote guilty because she said all cops lie and didn’t believe the cop that testified against the defendant. Another woman didn’t even care what we did and spent the whole time saying how cute the prosecutor was. A guy that originally was to be our foreman didn’t want to be anymore when he found out that the defendant lived in the same community as him. Being the fearless leader that I am, I took the job because I wanted to get the hell out of there. All in all, jury duty was the biggest waste of time I have ever experienced and the only time I will ever be on a jury again is if it’s a big-name trial and I can get a book deal out of it. So when you get your jury duty summons write on there that you’re a card-carrying member of the ACLU or Fry Mumia fan club. And speaking of Mumia, the avatar is back up... Edited September 5, 2003 by kkktookmybabyaway Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2003 Or just say you hate Jews/Latinos/Blacks/Women/Gays/Children/Hippies/Commies/Liberals/Canadians/The French and Oreos. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted September 6, 2003 or you could tell them to look at your posts here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2003 Sadly, the year was '98 and it would be years before I would become kkktookmybabyaway. However, if I ever get called for jury duty, rest assured I will be bringing my laptop with me. And Rant, what's your problem? I love Oreos, especially when I dunk 'em in milk... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Golgo 13 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2003 I was called in a couple years ago. I postponed the first claiming I already had plans to go away on vacation, which was a blatant lie since I simply felt like being lazy. Anyway, it was setup with whoever I emailed that I would come in a couple months after the fact. Come the selection process, I was called on as an alternate. We walk into the courtroom, and the case was a car accident. A couple jurors were excused- one being either a full-time student, IIRC- and the alternates ahead of me filled their seats. After the first round of evidence and such, the judge called for recess and all the alternates were allowed to leave. I spent maybe 3 or 4 hours total there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest wwF1587 Report post Posted September 6, 2003 Sadly, the year was '98 and it would be years before I would become kkktookmybabyaway. However, if I ever get called for jury duty, rest assured I will be bringing my laptop with me. And Rant, what's your problem? I love Oreos, especially when I dunk 'em in milk... dip them in booze instead.... its awesome Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkktookmybabyaway 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2003 What kind?... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrRant 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2003 Sadly, the year was '98 and it would be years before I would become kkktookmybabyaway. However, if I ever get called for jury duty, rest assured I will be bringing my laptop with me. And Rant, what's your problem? I love Oreos, especially when I dunk 'em in milk... I hate Oreos... except the kind with the White Cookie and Chocolate Cream in the middle. Maybe I REALLY AM a racist. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cobainwasmurdered Report post Posted September 6, 2003 there's no maybe to it man... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BX 0 Report post Posted September 6, 2003 So when you get your jury duty summons write on there that you’re a card-carrying member of the Fry Mumia fan club. Note to those of you living in Pennsylvania: Using this defense in Pennsylvania, and specifically Philadelphia, will only secure you a spot on the Jury. That is all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted September 8, 2003 Tell them that you're a Fully Informed Juror. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 8, 2003 I'm on call! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cynicalprofit 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 The guy was black and I just showed my swastika tattoo and went home. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Giuseppe Zangara 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 The guy was black and I just showed my swastika tattoo and went home. Didn't you bleed to death after being shot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Metal Maniac 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Honest question: If you flat-out told them "I do not wish to serve Jury Duty, and as such, will vote the exact opposite of what everyone else does in order to screw up the whole fucking trial" what would happen? Could you be arrested for refusing to serve jury duty, or what? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
teke184 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 "The trick is to say you're prejudiced against ALL races..." - Homer Simpson Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vern Gagne 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Just stand up and say the person is obviousy guilty...just look at him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Still on call. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Firestarter 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Take a bottle of Stoli with you. Do a shot every time anyone says "Objection." Take a bottle of champagne with you. Have the bailiff give it to the judge, along with a little pink note that reads "XOXOXO, from a secret admirer. PS - are you wearing anything under those robes?" Get the other jurors to join you in doing the Wave every time a new witness is called. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dutchse.cx 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Constantly ask if you can go to the bathroom. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 9, 2003 Take a bottle of Stoli with you. Do a shot every time anyone says "Objection." Take a bottle of champagne with you. Have the bailiff give it to the judge, along with a little pink note that reads "XOXOXO, from a secret admirer. PS - are you wearing anything under those robes?" Get the other jurors to join you in doing the Wave every time a new witness is called. I just recieved Satanic Rituals from Anton Levy, I plan to read it in the waiting room. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
