Triumpth the Insult Dog

[razazteca 0]

Is it someone from SNL like Will Ferrel or Adam Sandler or could it be a person like Bob Oberkirk?

[The Ghost of bps21 0]

Robert Smigel

[razazteca 0]

Really? That is a surprise.

[The Mandarin 0]

He does a lot of the other voices too. Ah-nuld especially.

[Karnage 0]

You can usually see his head. It's not like Ed the Sock where you never see the pupeteer.

[Vern Gagne 0]

It's Smigel's creation.

[NoCalMike 0]

Have you guys heard Triumpth the Dog's rap song, and seen the video?

[1234-5678 0]

Have you guys heard Triumpth the Dog's rap song, and seen the video?

 

No, but it sounds like a terrible, terrible idea, and I usually think he is funny.

[The Dames 0]

Actually, it's pretty funny. It's called "I Keed".

 

Dames

[Guest Just J]

The song is funny as hell if you listen to what he's saying.

[Lando Griffin 0]

He performed it on Conan a few months ago, and again on the Commies. Funny shit.

[Conspiracy_Victim 0]

The video's not as funny as it could be (I am impressed that Evan Barnard directed it though, didn't seem like his sort of deal). The song is funny as hell though. I especially liked the "I even like...no I don't like Affleck."

[OldSchoolWrestling 0]

Triumph The Insult Comic Dog - I Keed

 

 

[intro]

I thought my CD was done,

But that's not what they say

Do an insult track,

We need it for radio play

 

[Verse One]

American Idol, that's what I look for,

In the poop section of my local record store.

Ruben or Clay, oh which one should I pick,

It's like choosing which puddle of vomit to lick.

And when I want something even more fruity and fit,

I look up N for NSYNC or T for Timberlake.

So many skills Justin's making a buck at,

Does he rap, does he sing, he doesn't know what to suck at!

Now as for the bitches, lets give Britney thanks,

For the face that launched a million preteen skanks.

You were a virgin, that had to be hard,

You had more bones in your mouth than a St. Bernard.

 

[Chorus]

I Keed, I Keed

He's just making little jokes,

I joke with you,

Little dog, Little jokes,

I Keed, I Keed,

He's just making little jokes,

and your a good actress too.

 

[Verse Two]

Now lets go to Walmart,

Where they won't sell me CD,

Those company's nuts are in a jar in aisle three.

But you can see Christina in all her sluthood

It's like watching porn but the music's not as good.

I want to stuff my TV's crotch with a dollar

Still I would hump you if I could wear my flea collar.

You're looser than my poop after eating honeydew,

Only 50 cents can flunk more than you!

And yet you're too old for Fred Durst to desire,

He's checking out the cast of Lizzie McGuire

Soon Fred will try to get Mandy Moore,

To open for him and I don't mean on tour!

You're not the first person for R Kelly

His video's premiere in the LAPD.

I believe they set up an innocent guy.

You know what Kel? I believe I can fly

 

[Chorus]

 

Now look how frickin cool those guys from the Strokes are

Their rifts are three times as old as my jokes are

The white stripes guy, is that your wife or your sister

Shouldn't you be playing country music mister.

Hey Coldplay, maybe you should be Coldsore.

Back when you were U2, I liked you so much more.

Somehow your song yellow reminds me of pee

I think that when it's over, it's a big relief to me

Yo Pink, is that your hair or a tattoo?

I didn't know Supercuts had a drive through

Yo Nelly, what the hell kinda name is that?

That's about as gangster as an Easter Bonnet hat.

And Snoop says he clean, well you make the call

The guy's higher than Billy Joel's cholesterol,

Snoop there's only room for one dog putz,

And I can rap, can you lick your own nuts?

Poop Diddy, are you in show business still?

I didn't know wearing a suit was a skill.

J.Lo, J.Lo the giant tail-o

For a doggie's nose, that's the holy grail-o

Shakira's BUTT's fine, but it won't hold still.

I sniffed Elton John's BUTT for a thrill.

I sniffed J.Lo's ass and got too touchy feely

She let loose a bomb that was bigger than Gigli.

 

[Chorus]

 

Avril Lavinge, punk queen, now there's a kidder,

Go back up north, Celine needs a baby-sitter

Philip Glass, hey tunnel ass, your not immune

Write a song with a f****** tune

And on the list of pooches, don't leave off MTV,

I scared Emineminem, so they gave the hook to me.

Slim Shady, why do you find me scary?

We are just two regular dudes who banged Mariah Carey.

Wipe off that frown, just do without

Hey my mom was a bitch too, but I don't go writing songs about it.

 

[Chorus]

[Ravenbomb 0]

So many skills Justin's making a buck at,

Does he rap, does he sing, he doesn't know what to suck at!

[1234-5678 0]

Those lyrics are actually pretty funny.

[Star Ocean 3 0]

Those lyrics are actually pretty funny.

You say that like it's a surprise.

[NoCalMike 0]

The lyrics are funny, but it is lame the way MTV never wants to admit that they are making fun of it's own talent. They try and go for the, "laughing WITH the artists" route, which kind of ruins the effect for me since pretty much everyone outside of mtv world pretty much thinks those lyrics explain mtv arists pretty damn well.

[DangerousDamon 0]

And yet you're too old for Fred Durst to desire,

He's checking out the cast of Lizzie McGuire

Soon Fred will try to get Mandy Moore,

To open for him and I don't mean on tour!

 

 

HAHHAHHAHA

[Ted the Poster 0]

That song's funny as hell. Anybody else have the CD? My other favorite tracks are "Cats are Cunts", "Benji's Gay", "Together in Pooping" and most of all "Blackwolf". If you saw the footage of Triumph at the Star Wars premiere, you know why.

[razazteca 0]

Anybody see the Billboard Award Show with Triumpth insulting everybody?

 

"Madonna got a younger audience, while Britney got herpies"

 

"Justin Garwini (American Idol) was my taxi driver"

[Mecha Mummy 0]

Does anyone actually have a transcript of Triumph's insultathon?

[Nevermortal 0]

Triumph was just on the Ozzy X-mas special, extoling the virtues of Kwanzaa.

[razazteca 0]

Triumph talking to Ozzy's dogs was funny.

 

"Are you feeling drowsey? I slipped a pill in your drink" - talking to the reindeer.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Triumph at the Star Wars Premeire is still one of the funniest things I've EVER seen on Television...

 

 

...it's so so good.

[razazteca 0]

The greatest Triumph moment was the Conan O'Brian show the day after the MTV award show that had the Eminem conflict. Triumph had a press conference attacking M. Another great moment for the Insult Dog was at the Hawaiin American Idol try outs. They had people sing insult songs such as the "I'm not gay" and "I'm not black even though I try very hard to be".

[1234-5678 0]

Those lyrics are actually pretty funny.

You say that like it's a surprise.

I thought they might have been the type of funny that Macho Man's raps were. Smartass.