Christ what the hell is wrong with you OAOAST/PT'e

[Angle-plex 0]

I'd just like to say that the only regret I have over this whole thing is using Popick's fiance's real name. Although I'm sure if we had used a different name Popick would have taken it as his fiance anyways and nothing would have changed.

[Guest HungryJack]

Look you little peice of shit. I've given you plenty of chances to show you weren't a bad guy but you blew it with:

 

You might wanna ask your brother for some coke and put it up the baby's nose so it's out of it's misery. God knows it's not going to live anyways when it figures out who it has for parents.

 

and then you have the audacity to PM me telling me that you have no problem with me? What the fuck do you say when you do have a problem with someone? That you raped their mom?

 

I wasn't going to say anything about this, since I figured you'd stop being a dumbass but I'm starting to change my mind.

Are you fucking kidding me?

 

I've also heard that another poster has been getting PM'd about this shit when they have no role whatsoever. I think it's pretty pathetic that Frigid can't let this go, but that quip to CWM crossed a fine line.

So, ban him???

 

 

I've gotten pms from this chump that i'm not even gonna read.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Zack, man, he deserves to go. Everyone will agree. Just ban him.

[rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0]

So, what this all boils down to is FS is a dick?

 

Keep him around, it'll liven the place up.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

So, what this all boils down to is FS is a dick?

 

Keep him around, it'll liven the place up.

Shit it, limey.

[rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0]

Bite me, Canuck

[{''({o..o})''} 0]

So, what this all boils down to is FS is a dick?

 

Keep him around, it'll liven the place up.

I concur with this. The comment stretched the grounds of good taste maybe, but it all boils down to taking the internet way too seriously.

 

P.S. Chave's a cunt!

[Dr. Tom 0]

The comment stretched the grounds of good taste maybe, but it all boils down to taking the internet way too seriously.

I concur. Sure, it's a shitty thing to say to someone, but it's not worth a ban, IMO.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Look you little peice of shit. I've given you plenty of chances to show you weren't a bad guy but you blew it with:

 

You might wanna ask your brother for some coke and put it up the baby's nose so it's out of it's misery. God knows it's not going to live anyways when it figures out who it has for parents.

 

and then you have the audacity to PM me telling me that you have no problem with me? What the fuck do you say when you do have a problem with someone? That you raped their mom?

 

I wasn't going to say anything about this, since I figured you'd stop being a dumbass but I'm starting to change my mind.

This is the last thing I'm going to say on the whole subject matter. Afterwards if you wanna keep yanking one another's dicks on it then go ahead.

 

At first I actually tried being pretty nice to CWM. When shit went down with his brother I tried being there for him, give him advise on the subject matter, you know...just be somebody who he could talk to. He decided to turn around and throw insults at me, whatever...his choice. The baby fiasco comes about and once again I go and try to be supportive. Seemed like he saw I was sincere at first but then just started throwing the insults about again. So hey, if people are going to throw rocks at me you think I'm just going to stand about and not respond? I hit him back, and its obviously bothered him. Good, shows you not to throw rocks while living in glass houses. I don't care about the guy personally, but quite frankly I'll treat people with the same amount of respect given to me. Basically he can say what he wishes about me now cause I don't care, after this it isn't worth responding to.

 

As for Malibu its kinda funny that you would say I'm PMing people about the e-fed since there are 2 people I speak to about it and both are on AIM. Doesn't surprise me that you would once again lie though since I asked Sass about what you said in the other thread. About how the mods said I "Lied to and mislead them". Sass told me he hadn't spoken to you all day and the only thing he said on the matter was he was sorry for not talking with you or Tom first. BPS also showed up and said he hadn't been mislead...it should still be there in that site feedback thread. Something tells me that if I cared enough to ask Loss and Kahran about it they probably aren't going to say what you stated they did. So if lying is your thing to make yourself look better go for it, that's what you got. Just don't go including me because I don't want to waste my time with it.

 

I'm done with this matter

[Guest Danny Dubya v 2.0]

I'm done with this matter

I'm willing to bet my life savings over this statement being false.

[Nighthawk 0]

I'll take that bet... not that I believe it's over. I have a gambling problem.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Look you little peice of shit. I've given you plenty of chances to show you weren't a bad guy but you blew it with:

 

You might wanna ask your brother for some coke and put it up the baby's nose so it's out of it's misery. God knows it's not going to live anyways when it figures out who it has for parents.

 

and then you have the audacity to PM me telling me that you have no problem with me? What the fuck do you say when you do have a problem with someone? That you raped their mom?

 

I wasn't going to say anything about this, since I figured you'd stop being a dumbass but I'm starting to change my mind.

This is the last thing I'm going to say on the whole subject matter. Afterwards if you wanna keep yanking one another's dicks on it then go ahead.

 

At first I actually tried being pretty nice to CWM. When shit went down with his brother I tried being there for him, give him advise on the subject matter, you know...just be somebody who he could talk to. He decided to turn around and throw insults at me, whatever...his choice. The baby fiasco comes about and once again I go and try to be supportive. Seemed like he saw I was sincere at first but then just started throwing the insults about again. So hey, if people are going to throw rocks at me you think I'm just going to stand about and not respond? I hit him back, and its obviously bothered him. Good, shows you not to throw rocks while living in glass houses. I don't care about the guy personally, but quite frankly I'll treat people with the same amount of respect given to me. Basically he can say what he wishes about me now cause I don't care, after this it isn't worth responding to.

 

As for Malibu its kinda funny that you would say I'm PMing people about the e-fed since there are 2 people I speak to about it and both are on AIM. Doesn't surprise me that you would once again lie though since I asked Sass about what you said in the other thread. About how the mods said I "Lied to and mislead them". Sass told me he hadn't spoken to you all day and the only thing he said on the matter was he was sorry for not talking with you or Tom first. BPS also showed up and said he hadn't been mislead...it should still be there in that site feedback thread. Something tells me that if I cared enough to ask Loss and Kahran about it they probably aren't going to say what you stated they did. So if lying is your thing to make yourself look better go for it, that's what you got. Just don't go including me because I don't want to waste my time with it.

 

I'm done with this matter

I don't need to lie to look better than you, pal. And you did mislead them, because you never told them I told you to hold off. We're on equal grounds of authority, just like if Loss told you to cease doing something, I wouldn't override him. You played a runaround, you lost, end it already. Your life can't possibly be gaining anything from this, and if it is, then that's just sad.

[{''({o..o})''} 0]

Where is the love?[/black Eyed Peas]

[rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0]

P.S. Chave's a cunt!

huss

[{''({o..o})''} 0]

P.S. Chave's a cunt!

huss

I missed you talking dirty to me.

[Thoth 0]

I did not realize you people were THIS dysfunctional. And you were doing an e-fed together?

 

You all need group counseling.

[Guest Danny Dubya v 2.0]

I did not realize you people were THIS dysfunctional.  And you were doing an e-fed together?

 

You all need group counseling.

But we're only on the 5th page! And there's 5 more to go before this truly passes over, I swear.

[Art Sandusky 0]

This is the last thing I'm going to say on the whole subject matter. Afterwards if you wanna keep yanking one another's dicks on it then go ahead.

 

At first I actually tried being pretty nice to CWM. When shit went down with his brother I tried being there for him, give him advise on the subject matter, you know...just be somebody who he could talk to. He decided to turn around and throw insults at me, whatever...his choice. The baby fiasco comes about and once again I go and try to be supportive. Seemed like he saw I was sincere at first but then just started throwing the insults about again. So hey, if people are going to throw rocks at me you think I'm just going to stand about and not respond? I hit him back, and its obviously bothered him. Good, shows you not to throw rocks while living in glass houses. I don't care about the guy personally, but quite frankly I'll treat people with the same amount of respect given to me. Basically he can say what he wishes about me now cause I don't care, after this it isn't worth responding to.

 

As for Malibu its kinda funny that you would say I'm PMing people about the e-fed since there are 2 people I speak to about it and both are on AIM. Doesn't surprise me that you would once again lie though since I asked Sass about what you said in the other thread. About how the mods said I "Lied to and mislead them". Sass told me he hadn't spoken to you all day and the only thing he said on the matter was he was sorry for not talking with you or Tom first. BPS also showed up and said he hadn't been mislead...it should still be there in that site feedback thread. Something tells me that if I cared enough to ask Loss and Kahran about it they probably aren't going to say what you stated they did. So if lying is your thing to make yourself look better go for it, that's what you got. Just don't go including me because I don't want to waste my time with it.

 

I'm done with this matter

(gets gas)

 

I TOLD YOU!

[Guest Fire and Knives]

This entire thread is further evidence that we should, in fact, ban everybody.

 

K.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Everybody say thank you.

________________________________________________

 

COLE

And now it's time for the ejaculation chamber!

 

COACH

Yes! This match will determine who will legally become the father of Jenni's baby.

 

COLE

Well, before the match begins, lets see who the celebrities in attendance predicted to win this match!

 

GEORGE LOPEZ

I predict the Mexican Cowboy! He has the charisma to pull it off!

 

SAMUEL L. JACKSON

I predict that my main man Gweedo wins this one.

 

ANDY DICK

Big Poppa Poplex is my choice to win!

 

MOTHER ANGELICA

The Priest Schaeffer will win this match and give this baby a loving, caring home.

 

SYLVESTER STALLONE

Yo my bother Frankie's gonna DO IT!

 

DAVID BOREANAZ

The Superstar? Is that what you wanted me to say?

 

COLE

What a coincidence! They all picked differently people! The odds are dead even for everyone!

 

The giant chamber is lowered around the arena. All of a sudden, the Kaientai theme hits and out walks The Mexican Cowboy! He's wearing gray sweatpants, a gray sweatshirt and white Nike sneakers. It’s been reported that Mexican Cowboy walked into a foot locker barefoot and put the shoes on and ran out with them on, and he‘s been running from the law ever since. Mexican Cowboy runs his own restaurant, “Mexican Deep Throat Plus”, in Mexico City. He gets into the ring and gets locked inside one of the cells.

 

"Can't Touch This" by M.C.Hammer hits and out walks Gweedo the Pimp! He's wearing the attire that his good friend FLASH FUNK~ used to wear. Gweedo was born and raised in Detroit and learned to fight on the streets. His first fight was when he was ten years old. A gang of 24 men surrounded the much younger Gweedo and demanded that he sexually please them. Gweedo said fuck that and then the men attacked. Gweedo eventually fought back, and left with the 24 men on the ground unconscious. He gets into the ring and poses, then gets locked in a different cell.

 

"Gonna Fly Now" hits and out walks Frank Stallone! He's wearing the red, white and blue boxing trunks that his brother wore while filming Rocky III and Rocky IV! Frank’s always been jealous of his brother’s success in the entertainment industry. He gets into the ring and starts to throw punches, then locks himself inside a cell.

 

"In the Navy" hits and the crowd EXPLODES! Out walks Stephen Poplex~ in his pink golf shirt and short khaki shorts. He doesn't have his signature GRIN~ on tonight, because he's all business. Poplex was born and raised as a good ol’ boy in Atlanta, GA. Sure, he’s in the sports entertainment business, but he’s no wrestler. He’s a rassler. And let’s not forget of Poplex’s impressive wrestling resume, like the time he beat “Oh“ Mike Hunt for the TIT Championship in the gym at Osborne High School. Expect to see some southern hospitality and southern brutality from him tonight. He locks himself behind the last cell.

 

"What if God Was One of Us" hits and Schaeffer emerges from the back! He is wearing his priest outfit, and he reads bible quotes all the way to the ring. We all know of Schaeffer’s wild and crazy past, but where did he learn to fight? That’s easy. His mother was a fighter. She was one of those big trucker mamas. She used to truck from place to place, city to city with young Schaeffer sitting in the back. However, Mama Schaeffer could not afford to let herself and Schaeffer eat with her salary, so she took up underground fighting. She used to brawl with some of the biggest, meanest men you’ll ever see. Young Schaeffer watched his mother battle dozens upon dozens of these men, night in and night out.

 

”NO! NO!

 

NOTORIOUS!”

 

Duran Duran’s “Notorious” plays and the crowd goes MADLY IN ANGER~ as The Superstar walks out! After a brutal and bloody feud with Zack Malibu, Superstar is a seasoned competitor and ready for insane battle and carnage. He’s the most experienced out of all of these superstars (PUN! LOL!) and he could use that to his advantage! In addition to sleeping with Jenni, Superstar has contracted seventeen types of syphilis and hepatitis by sleeping with such celebrities as Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson, and Mother Angelica!

 

In the history books, this is one of the best matches ever. The bell rings and Schaeffer and Superstar exchange right hands. Superstar wins the battle and throws Schaeffer into the ropes. Schaeffer, however, is an old man, and he falls to the ground, gasping for breathe before he even makes it back to Superstar. Superstar walks over to his opponent and locks in a sleeper hold.

 

COLE

Schaeffer may be out of this one early on!

 

Schaeffer calls for the POWER OF CHRIST~ and he elbows Superstar in the gut. And another one. And another. He whips Superstar against the ropes and backdrops him! Superstar gets flipped over the top rope and onto the cold, hard metal surrounding the ring.

 

COACH

My god! He killed him!

 

Schaeffer falls to his knees holding his heart. He's already sweating buckets. Superstar rolls back into the ring and dropkicks the kneeling Schaeffer, knocking him to his ass. Superstar walks over and stomps the fuck out of Schaeffer, who is gasping for breathe. He picks Schaeffer up and THROWS~ him over the top rope. He gets out of the ring and whips~ tries to whip Schaeffer into the steel, but Schaeffer says that he’s way to fucking old to take that bump and he just collapses to his ass instead.

 

10...9....8....7....6....5...4...3....2....1!

 

COLE

Here comes the next participant!

 

The cell is opened and GWEEDO~ emerges! He slowly jogs out of his cell and flips over the top rope. He meets Superstar in the middle of the ring and they exchange right hands. He starts to STREET FIGHT~ with Superstar, and gives him a few good, REAL right hands. He grabs Superstar’s head and THROWS~ him over the top rope. Superstar hits the steel, and screams, making us FEEL~ the impact. Schaeffer rolls into the ring, but he’s too tired to get to his feet. Schaeffer just gets stomped by Superstar until he wisely rolls back out of the ring.

 

Superstar enters back into the ring. Gweedo turns around and gets dropkicked right in the face. Gweedo over-sells and runs half-way across the ring and flips over the top rope, landing on the steel. In the background we can see Mexican Cowboy eating a taco behind the glass. Superstar walks over to Schaeffer and starts to STOMP~ him. He looks over a Poplex and smiles. Poplex has a SERIOUS, "I'M MAD" look on his face that no one in the arena can take seriously.

 

10....9.....8.....7....6.....5...4....3....2....1!

 

The glass is lowered and in comes THE MEXICAN COWBOY! He throws his taco down even though he already has a giant stain on his sweatshirt, and runs into the ring and tackles~ Superstar. He picks him up and....DORITO SLAM~! Here is the cover. 1...kickout! He walks over to Schaeffer and picks him up....SALSA BUSTER! He covers Schaeffer for a 2 count.

 

BPP is seen on camera doing something inappropriate in his cell, so they quickly cut to the other guys. Gweedo enters the ring and kicks Mexican Cowboy in the balls. Cowboy falls to his knees. Gweedo does some wanna-be karate poses and kicks him in the face. Cover gets a 2 count. Mexican Cowboy starts to punch Gweedo in the stomach. He runs against the ropes and does a shoulder-block, which knocks Gweedo to his ass. Gweedo rolls over to the ropes, and he uses them to help pick himself up. He walks over to Mexican Cowboy and picks him up....and he hits the Ain‘t No Bitches Slam! Cover gets a two! Gweedo gets on top off the fallen Cowboy and starts to hump him.......mockingly.

 

COACH

How DARE he! The Mexican Cowboy has a family!

 

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1!

 

FRANK STALLONE~ emerges from his chamber and comes in the ring with haste~! He puts his dukes up and starts to punch Superstar right on the chin. Superstar falls to the floor. Schaeffer tries to go up behind Frank for a sneak attack, but he gets HIP TOSSED~ instead. Superstar, seeing that Frank's attention is on Schaeffer, runs up and KNEES~ him in the back. Frank falls to the mat in pain. Superstar gets to his feet and starts to STOMP~ Frank. Schaeffer sees Gweedo and Mexican Cowboy brawling in the corner, and he runs at them and clotheslines~ them, sending all three of them over the top rope. Superstar climbs to the top rope and ELBOW DROPS~ Frank.

 

COLE

Frank is hurt!

 

Superstar picks Frank up and hits him with a right hand. And another. And ANOTHER! Frank falls to the mat. The camera gives a close-up of his face, which is completely busted open and a bloody mess. Suddenly, CARL WEATHERS~ climbs out of the audience and walks up to the cage, screaming at Frank.

 

CARL WEATHERS

Man, WHAT’S THE MATTA WITH CHOU? WHAT’S THE MATTA WITH CHOU?

 

Frank looks over at Carl and smiles. He gets up and “Gonna Fly Now” starts to play in the background. Superstar goes for another right hand but Frank BLOCKS~ it! Frank hits Superstar with a right hand! And another! Frank is rocking Superstar’s world! Frank winds up for another right hand...but Schaeffer holds his arm, turns him around, and hits him with a low blow!

 

COLE

Man! I thought Frank had Superstar!

 

They start to stomp on Frank. He is bleeding really bad. Superstar holds him down while Schaeffer climbs to the top rope. FROG SPLASH~!

 

COACH

My God! That's a 500 pound man!

 

Superstar tells him to do it again. Schaeffer ascends to the top rope....FROG SPLASH!

 

COLE

No! Stop the fight!

 

Frank doesn’t know his head from his ass at the moment. He rolls over and pokes Superstar in the eyes. He's hurt badly, and he can't even see out of his eyes because of the blood. Schaeffer walks over to him and gives him a right hand. Frank falls back and hits the ropes. He get bounced back to the middle of the ring where Schaeffer hits him with another right hand. Frank bounces back against the ropes.

 

COLE

The ropes are the only thing keeping Frank up at this point.

 

Schaeffer gets an evil smile on his face. The live feed goes to slow-motion as Schaeffer winds back his right hand and lets out a scream, which sounds like a lion's roar. He nails Frank with the right hand. Frank falls face first to the floor.

 

SYLVESTER STALLONE

Get him out of there!

 

Sylvester gets up out of his chair in the audience and waits for the guards to unlock the door. They finally do and the paramedics and referees check on Frank's condition. Sylvester is crying, holding his fallen brother's hand. He and Schaeffer look deep into each other's eyes.

 

SCHAEFFER

If he dies....he dies.

 

Schaeffer turns away, right into a right hand by The Superstar! The paramedics put Frank on a stretcher and take him out of the Chamber.

 

COLE

We’ve gotten word that Frank Stallone will be taken out of this contest!

 

*************************************

FRANK STALLONE

ELIMINATED: 1st

ELIMINATED BY: Schaeffer (sort of)

PROUDEST MOMENT: The Superhero Comeback

*************************************

 

COACH

I think that’s a good idea. There’s now way he can compete in this condition.

 

Schaeffer and Superstar lock up. Schaeffer attempt to pick Superstar up and put him on his shoulders, but he’s too tired and botches the spot. The Mexican Cowboy walks in and pretends to brawl with the two while Gweedo climbs above Poplex’s cell. He FLIPS~ off, right onto his three opponents.

 

COLE

My God! He almost killed himself! Now all four men are down!

 

10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1!

 

Here comes the last entrant. It’s POPLEX! He rushes into the ring, but all four men are down. He runs over and covers the Mexican Cowboy. Cover gets a two. He lifts Mexican Cowboy to his feet and goes behind him....FIERCE POUNDING OF THE ASS~!

 

COLE

He hit it! My god that move is lovely!

 

Poplex covers the Mexican Cowboy. 1...2...3!

 

******************************

THE MEXICAN COWBOY

ELIMINATED: 2nd

ELIMINATED BY: Poplex

PROUDEST MOMENT: Lifting up Schaeffer for the Salsa Slam.

******************************

 

COLE

Mexican Cowboy is the second man eliminated! We’re down to the final four!

 

COACH

This isn’t fair! Poplex has an advantage! All these other guys have been fighting their brains out while BPP was jerking it in his cell!

 

Poplex brings Gweedo to his feet. He picks him up for a scoop slam, but stops halfway through the move to get a cheap feel of Gweedo’s rather large package. Poplex walks over to Superstar, picks him up, and starts to POUND~ him....with his fist! He throws Superstar out of the ring. He follows and SENDS~ Superstar’s face into the steel structure. Superstar gets up and brawls with Poplex while Gweedo sets himself up on the top turnbuckle for high spot #2 of the match. He MOONSAULTS~ off the turnbuckle...and lands right on his ass! He holds his knee, which he may have blown out of the botched move. The ref gives the “X” sign to the back. Poplex goes over to check on Gweedo, but Superstar sends his ass right into the steel.

 

Suddenly, the EVIL GREEN RANGER appears in the middle of the ring!

 

 

COLE

How did he get in there!

 

The Evil Green Ranger turns to Schaeffer and hits a spinning kick to the gut. Superstar runs in to attack but Green Ranger does a triple back flip and dropkicks Superstar in mid-air. Poplex attempts to go after Green Ranger but gets a nice big white boot to the face for his efforts.

 

COLE

The Evil Green Ranger just annihilated everyone in this match!

 

Evil Green Ranger lets out an EVIL laugh. The 78-year old Schaeffer gets to his feet, and SMACKS~ the Ranger over the head with his bible! Green Ranger falls to the mat and appears to be unconscious! Schaeffer falls back on his ass due to exhaustion, but Poplex CRAWLS~ over and takes off the Ranger’s mask.

 

COLE

OMF WTF?

 

The camera focuses in on the Rangers face. Holy shit! It’s non-other than.....BILLY CRYSTAL!

 

 

Poplex is stunned. Billy Crystal gets to his feet and lets out another EVIL LAUGH~! He throws a smoke bomb down and disappears!

 

BPP gets to his feet and turns around. Schaeffer, on his knees, grabs a TIGHT~ hold of Poplex’s balls with his fist. BPP lets out LOUD screams, but with a smile on his face.

 

COACH

He’s screaming! But those are screams of JOY!

 

Gweedo limps into the ring. He obviously has busted his knee out. Superstar kicks him in the gut and hits a vicious DDT~! Using his superior intelligence, Superstar goes after Gweedo’s BLOWN KNEE~! He locks in a REVERSE FIGURE-FOUR!

 

GWEEDO’S HAND GOES UP OFF THE MAT!

 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

IT’S FALLING!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

IT’S STILL FALLING!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

GETTING CLOSER TO THE MAT NOW!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

YES, I AM DOING THIS TO ANNOY YOU!

.

.

.

.

.

.

AND HE TAPS!

 

******************************

GWEEDO

ELIMINATED: 3rd

ELIMINATED BY: Superstar

PROUDEST MOMENT: FLIP~ off the cell

******************************

 

 

COLE

Gweedo the Pimp is eliminated! Down to the final three!

 

Gweedo is helped out of the Ejaculation Chamber and the crowd gives him a standing ovation for his efforts!

 

GWEEDO

Fizzzzuck y’all hobag biznatches in the ass!

 

COACH

Strong words there!

 

Superstar stands up, proud of himself, but he still sees Schaeffer groping Poplex’s balls! Appalled at this sight of homogayality, Superstar sneaks up behind the old man…and PUNCHES HIM IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! As a reflex, Schaeffer tightens his hand and in turn causes Poplex to SHRIEK in AGONY! Schaeffer apologizes, but Poplex puts Schaeffer’s own arm through his own legs, and begins pantomiming sodomy!

 

COLE

OH MY GOD, IT’S THE HUMP HANDLE SLAM!!! ON THE 120-YEAR OLD CATHOLIC PRIEST!

 

Poplex struggles to lift Schaeffer up, but he can’t! As he continues to keep his crotch dangerously close to old man ass, Superstar comes up behind BPP and surprises him with a reverse DDT! As Poplex falls he brings Schaeffer down with him, and the big man falls right on top of him! The referee counts this unorthodox pin, but it only gets a two count as Poplex lifts his shoulder up! The crowd is in absolute shock at this, because Schaeffer is such a fat fuck! However Superstar lifts Schaeffer up and punches him! And then he struggles, but puts Schaeffer on his shoulders…and HITS A BURNING HAMMER!

 

COLE

Schaeffer landed right on the top of his head! That’s sick, man!

 

Superstar covers…but SCHAEFFER SITS UP! The crowd is SILENT IN SHOCK (actually, they’re just silent) as Schaeffer begins convulsing and shaking menacingly! Superstar’s eyes are like saucers, but he just kicks Schaeffer in the balls and gives him a Stunner! But Schaeffer stays standing! So Superstar shoulders him and drops down, dropping him on his head again with the STAR POWER TOMBSTONE! Cover! 1……………KICKOUT!

 

COLE

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST, THE PASSION OF THE LORD, AND THE PASSION OF THE OAOAST IS RUNNING THROUGH SCHAEFFER’S VEINS! CAN YOU FEEL IT?!?!?$

 

Schaeffer looks to the heavens, and cries out to his god.

 

SCHAEFFER

PSALMS 59:5! AWAKE TO HELP ME, AND BEHOLD! YOU THEREFORE, O LORD GOD OF HOSTS, THE GOD OF ISRAEL, AWAKE TO PUNISH ALL THE NATIONS; DO NOT BE MERCIFUL TO ANY WICKED TRANSGRESSORS!

 

Suddenly, a big hole in the arena roof opens, and a heavenly light showers down on Schaeffer! A voice booms down.

 

GOD

My dear Schaeffer, I will be sending an apocalyptic beast down from the heavens soon to aide you!

 

COACH

I think I’ve heard that voice before!

 

The camera tries to move to Schaeffer’s viewpoint, to see what God looks like…

 

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

The spirit of God begins to manifest itself inside of Schaeffer!

 

POPLEX, FROM THE GROUND

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Poplex sees that if the God manifests itself in Schaeffer’s body, his friend will die! Poplex does the only thing he can do, which is grab a hold of Schaeffer from behind, and give him a FIERCE POUNDING OF THE ASS! The hole in the roof closes!

 

GOD

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

Poplex reluctantly decides to cover Schaeffer to end his pain! 1…….2…….3!

 

*******************

SCHAEFFER

ELIMINATED: 4th

ELIMINATED BY: Poplex

PROUDEST MOMENT: God attempting to manifest itself in him.

*******************

 

Schaeffer gets up, turns around…and thanks Poplex!

 

SCHAEFFER

You truly are the Stephen Joseph Poplex I grew to love. God bless you, my son. You are the deserving father of the baby.

 

The two hug, groping each other.

 

COLE

This is so sweet!

 

SUPERSTAR

The match ain’t over yet, bitch ass cakes!

 

Superstar kicks Schaeffer in the balls! Schaeffer crumbles in Poplex’s arms! Superstar smiles maniacally, but Poplex stops him right in his tracks!

 

KICK!

 

 

 

WHAM!

 

 

 

PRODUCTION POSSIBILITIES! Poplex covers Superstar!

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THE ROOF EXPLODES! No, literally! The roof explodes, and the face of God can be seen again!

 

 

HE’S SEETHING WITH VENGEANCE!

 

GOD

Stephen Poplex, you want to try and save your friend from his imminent death via my manifesting in his body?! Well, think again, buster! I will now send my apocalyptic beast…TO KILL *YOU!* HIT HIS MUSIC!

 

 

…

 

…

 

 

…

 

 

…

 

 

EVERYBODY DANCE NOW~!

 

 

 

 

 

COLE

It’s…MISTER WARRIOR!

 

Mister Warrior races down from the back to no crowd reaction!

 

GOD

Fly my pretty, fly!

 

Warrior stops at the door of the Ejaculation Chamber, obviously winded. However, he summons the strength to tear the door of the Chamber right off its hinges! The crowd GASPS~ at the sight! Warrior leaps up and runs on the chamber like Jesus walked on water! Poplex can only stare with his mouth agape in shock! That doesn’t last long, as WARRIOR runs forward and gives Poplex the SHOULDER BLOCK!

 

COACH

Holy shit!

 

Poplex slowly gets to his feet, and WARRIOR gives him ANOTHER SHOULDER BLOCK!

 

COLE

Stop the pain!

 

As BPP slowly gets up again, Warrior grabs his TESTICLES~ in one hand and lifts him up with a gorilla press!

 

WARRIOR

ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!! MY GOD, I OFFER YOU THIS SACRIFICE AS A DIGNIFIED ETHNOAFFIGHONY OF MY LOVE AND DEVOTATION!

 

And Warrior slams him down! Warrior runs off the ropes…and HITS THE ALDOSTERONE SPLASH!!!

 

 

COLE

Poplex is DEAD!

 

Mister WARRIOR, job done, runs out of the chamber! Superstar thanks God and covers him!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…SCHAEFFER SITS DOWN ON TOP OF SUPERSTAR, FLATTENING HIM AND BREAKING THE PIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

The crowd EXPLODES~ as Superstar’s insides flatten completely! Superstar and Schaeffer both get up, and Superstar is able to kick Schaeffer in the balls again! He hooks his arms and lifts him up…and drops him on his head with a Tiger Driver ’91!

 

COLE

This isn’t fair! Schaeffer is supposed to be out of this match, and Superstar’s still putting the hurt on him!

 

…but Schaeffer sits up! Superstar looks WORRIED~ and in SHOCK~ but he swings with a punch, and Schaeffer ducks! With his back turned, Schaeffer grabs a hold of him…

 

 

AND RAKES HIS BACK WITH THE SWEET JESUS, IT’S THE LAST SUPPER BACK RAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Superstar HOWLS IN AGONY~ as he walks forward…right into A FIERCE POUNDING OF THE ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Poplex falls on top of Superstar!

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

COLE

Superstar is gone! The match is over!

 

COACH

Big Poppa Poplex is the legal father of Jenni’s baby! Thank God! After all he’s gone through, he can finally live happy again!

 

*********************

THE SUPERSTAR

ELIMINATED: 5th

ELIMINATED BY: Poplex

PROUDEST MOMENT: Impossible to judge

*********************

 

The crowd goes GODSHIT as the bell rings and Poplex wins the match! Even Jenni, supposedly months pregnant, comes RACING down the ramp to celebrate! Schaeffer puts Poplex on his shoulders as balloons and graffiti come down from the rafters! Out comes the whole OAOAST locker room to congratulate Poplex on this historic win! Gweedo is shown jumping up and down forgetting to sell the injury he sustained earlier! Poplex is noticeably crying, and he gets off Schaeffer’s shoulder to get down and kiss his lovely bride.

 

SUPERSTAR

Hey Jenni!

 

The celebration immediately stops.

 

SUPERSTAR

You think Poplex really loves you? Well he doesn’t. Let’s see the pic.

 

Suddenly, a picture appears on the angletron...

 

 

The crowd gasps! Nobody can believe it.

 

JENNI

Stephen Joseph, I don’t know what that’s about, but lets start over. Hi, I’m Jenni Poplex.

 

POPLEX

Hello. My name is Stephen Joseph Poplex.

 

Jenni bends Poplex over and KISSES him! YES! The crowd goes wild! The celebration continues. The Mexican Cowboy is seen in the corner of the chamber conducting a Mariachi! Frank Stallone is seen smiling while talking to Schaeffer! The two shake hands and Schaeffer tells Frank that he did a nice selling job on the beat down. The fans and the wrestlers (minus Superstar) REJOICE~ for this wonderful occasion as “Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady” plays over the loudspeakers. The OAOAST knows they can't follow this up so they place a John Goodman music video as they get the ring cleared and set up for the next match.

[MrRant 0]

That was horrible.... I curse you to Quebec for that.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

hey, i just gave 'em what they wanted

[Guest]

That is the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. Thank you.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I don't understand the appeal of that...at all. You lost me at the green Power Ranger.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

parts were pretty funny but it was somewhat silly

[Guest]

I liked seeing the EVIL GREEN RANGER~! I haven't seen that in years.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

I liked seeing the EVIL GREEN RANGER~! I haven't seen that in years.

Go invest in a life. Any mention of the Power Rangers in beyond my scope.

[Guest HungryJack]

JKASHKJBDJND<AMHIOWLKMASPIQWOPMQJO(QWLKNS)(&!LKJS:PKLA{{ASLO:IJJKLASNKJHASLUJKKJA"polq>nmqskluga?:MLHSL>Hk>jilughwklihjLHu.ljio;hjasjklao;iuL;KJASFHIOIEFHIO;HNSDL,/MSD;lA

">a

 

 

 

That right there, sums up this entire thread, making more sense than the rest of it did.

[Guest]

It's just that my little cousin saw that and started crying. I liked that.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

People are this upset over something involving the Green Ranger?

 

Thoth is right to mock you.

 

K.