Most non-sensical promos ever

[JoeDirt 0]

I tried to post a Roddy Piper promo today that was non sensical...sadly, it made a little bit of sense.

 

What's the most non-sensical promo you've ever heard? (Somehow I guess somebody mentions Warrior)

[JST 0]

Five words:

 

Jake Roberts: Heroes Of Wrestling.

[Guest Eric the Eagle]

Watch the Third Annual Survivor Series once (can't remember which year at the moment... 1990, I think.

 

I swear, there must have been a cocaine dispenser in that mike. EVERYONE is ranting like there's no tomorrow...

[alfdogg 0]

Mean Gene: "Alright, over the last couple of months, it has been very difficult to introduce this man with the words World Wrestling Federation Champion, Hulk Hogan, here at WrestleMania IV this afternoon, you've got the opportunity to change that."

 

Hogan: "Oh yeah, it's been hard to live with, man! FEE FI FO FUM, Andre! One long year, and your time has come, man! No marks, no scars, no blemishes on the Hulkster, brother! But inside man, I've been scarred for one long year! Everywhere I go man, all the little Hulksters ask me, 'Is there any truth to the fact that there was a controversial count? Hulkster, did you really press him over your head? Did you REALLY beat the Giant? Well today man, in WrestleMania IV, we're gonna wipe all that controversy out! Andre the Giant, in the second round, when you're fresh as a daisy, with the whole world watching, I'm gonna PROVE, brother, that I can beat ya, anywhere, anytime! And all my Hulkamaniacs, they're gonna FEEL it, too!

 

Gene: "Speaking of the Hulkamaniacs, Hulk Hogan, we have seen them here in Atlantic City, and I know millions of others are watching very intently all around the world!"

 

Hulk: "Yeah! But if you look into their eyes, man, have you seen the FEAR in all those little Hulksters? They realize, that when I get Andre the Giant cinched up in the launch position, when I slam him through the Trump Plaza, brother, from New York, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line is gonna break off! And as Andre the Giant FALLS INTO THE OCEAN, as my next two opponents, fall into the ocean floor and I pin 'em, SO WILL DONALD TRUMP, and ALL the Hulkamaniacs! But as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza, with his family in his other arm, as they sink to the bottom of the sea, THANK GOD DONALD TRUMP'S A HULKAMANIAC! He'll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, dog paddle with his life, all the way to safety! But Donald...if something happens and you run out of gas, and all those Hulkamaniacs run out of gas...JUST HANG ON, to the largest back in the world, and I'll DOG PADDLE us, BACKSTROKE ALL OF US TO SAFETY!"

[Slayer 0]

Ultimate Warrior at WM6

 

"I HAVE COME TO DO NO HARM~!"

[deancoles 0]

Warrior's Royal Rumble 90 promo confused the hell out of me.

[Slickster 0]

Ultimate Warrior at WM6

 

"I HAVE COME TO DO NO HARM~!"

Ultimate Warrior (interrupting): Ahhhhh..you are nothing but a normal, you don't deserve to breathe the same air that I and Hulk Hogan do! Hulk Hogan, I must ask you now as you asked me, do you, Hulk Hogan, want your ideas, your beliefs to live forever? For Hulk Hogan, in this normal world physically none of us can live forever. But the places you have taken the Hulkamaniacs, the ideas and beliefs that you have given them can live through me, Hulk Hogan.

 

That is why I breathe, that is why the Warriors have come. Hulk Hogan, there are ones that question where you are taking them. Do you no longer want to walk or step into that darkness? Hulk Hogan, that darkness I speak of is nothing of fear. It is about the beliefs...of accepting any and all challenges at the cost of losing everything, Hulk Hogan. You have lived, Hulk Hogan, for the last 5 Wrestlemanias for this one belief. Now, Hulk Hogan, I come to take what you believe in further then you ever could.

 

I come Hulk Hogan, not to destroy the Hulkamaniacs and Hulkamania. I come, Hulk Hogan, to bring the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together as one as we, Hulk Hogan, accept all the challenges with all the strength of the Warriors and Hulkamaniacs together. Hulk Hogan, the colors of the Hulkamaniacs are coming through the pores of my skin...and Hulk Hogan, when we meet, Hulk Hogan, I will look at you and you will realize then that I have come to do no one no harm, but only, Hulk Hogan, to take what we both believe in to places it shall never have been.

[Drury37 0]

The Warrior promo from WWF WrestleMania VI was followed up with a non-sensical Hogan promo haha!!!

Thanks.

[Slickster 0]

As you wish (although Hogan's came first in the show):

 

Hulk Hogan: You know something Mean Gene, you don't have to remind me and my Hulkamaniacs that at Skydome we're gonna face the Ultimate Challenge brother. When we crossed the border from the United States of America to Canada I was hovering over Skydome brother, I saw what was beneath me man. I saw the greatest arena of all times, where the Ultimate Challenge will take place...and as we landed brother, nothing but star-craving Hulkamaniacs were there to great me at the airport.

 

Nothing but positive vibes man. Hulkamania is running wild like it's never ran before! But the Ultimate Warrior, you must realize that when you step into Skydome, when you feel the energy that is gonna run wild throughout the arena, those are my people. That's my energy, brother, and Ultimate Warrior, this is where the power lies, man and the power of the Hulkster, the largest arms in the world and once I get you down on your knees Ultimate Warrior, I'm gonna ask you one question brother. I'm gonna ask you: do you want to live forever?

 

And if your answer is yes, Ultimate Warrior, then breathe your last breath into my body. I can save ya, my Hulkamaniacs can save ya. We can turn the darkness that you live in into the light.

 

We can save all your little warriors with the training, the prayers, and the vitamins. But I gotta prove one thing to all my little Hulkamaniacs out there, it's not whether you win or whether you lose, the only thing that matters is what kind of winner you are or what kind of loser you are and Ultimate Warrior I sure hope you're a good loser brother.

 

Whatcha ya gonna do at Skydome when the largest arms in the world and Hulkamania destroys you?

[Slayer 0]

Thanks for the transcript, classic

 

Now if we can get the audio file

 

And Hogan went first

[Guest Astro]

We need transcripts (refering to the RR 90 post)

[Drury37 0]

I apologize you are correct Hogan did go first.

Thanks.

[Guest Choken One]

How come we haven't said anything about Sid yet?

 

At least Hogan and Warrior's gimmicks were egomaniacs with all lost grip on reality.

 

Sid was supposed to be a unstopable Monster...

 

Do I really need to remind you of "Can we start this over?"

[deancoles 0]

We need transcripts (refering to the RR 90 post)

I can't find one anywhere.Here's something to make up for it though.

 

 

Warrior promos

[ISportsFan 0]

Easily, Hogan's from WM IV and Hogan/Warrior both from WM VI take the cake for most ridiculous and idiotic promos ever. I can't help but laugh whenever I hear them.

 

Jason

[deancoles 0]

The Survior Series 90 Promo of Warrior,Hogan and Santana is good as well.Warrior mentions they will prevail becuase they have "the power of the Warriors, Hulkamania and Arriba-derci!"

[Si82 0]

Although his Royal Rumble '90 promo was off the planet I'm gonna go with the one before Wrestlemania VI because of the way he treats Sean Mooney.

 

"Ahhhhh You are nothing but a normal, you don't deserve to breathe the same air that I and Hulk Hogan do."

 

Classic!

[Guest DeathBecomesYou]

How come we haven't said anything about Sid yet?

 

At least Hogan and Warrior's gimmicks were egomaniacs with all lost grip on reality.

 

Sid was supposed to be a unstopable Monster...

 

Do I really need to remind you of "Can we start this over?"

I remember a promo that Sid cut once on Kevin Nash, i'm pretty sure it was off either a Nitro or a Thunder, where he uttered the immortal lines.....

"Nash, i'm twice the man you are with half the brain"

[Betty Houle 0]

promo that Sid cut once on Kevin Nash, i'm pretty sure it was off either a Nitro or a Thunder, where he uttered the immortal lines.....

"Nash, i'm twice the man you are with half the brain"

I SWEAR this guess mentioned on a thread every six days.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

Although his Royal Rumble '90 promo was off the planet I'm gonna go with the one before Wrestlemania VI because of the way he treats Sean Mooney.

 

"Who?"

[Si82 0]

Although his Royal Rumble '90 promo was off the planet I'm gonna go with the one before Wrestlemania VI because of the way he treats Sean Mooney.

 

"Who?"

 

PURE GOLD!

[Guest Mosaicv2]

Although his Royal Rumble '90 promo was off the planet I'm gonna go with the one before Wrestlemania VI because of the way he treats Sean Mooney.

 

"Who?"

 

PURE GOLD!

I so remember that... from Summerslam 92... as Mooney was goin to interview the Nasty Boyz

[Betty Houle 0]

Although his Royal Rumble '90 promo was off the planet I'm gonna go with the one before Wrestlemania VI because of the way he treats Sean Mooney.

 

"Who?"

 

PURE GOLD!

I so remember that... from Summerslam 92... as Mooney was goin to interview the Nasty Boyz

And about 100 other times. If a Heenan joke worked once...

[therealworldschampion 0]

The Hogan/Warrior WM VI promos along with the Hogan WM IV promo easily.

 

Though I do have a new one, does anyone remember Sid's promos in late 2000 in WCW when he would rip off WWF stars' lines? For example, calling himself the "Millenium(sp?) Man" and yelling at the crowd "Gimme a hell yeah!!!"?

[JHawk 0]

Gotta add another Hogan "classic" here from the October 1986 Saturday Night's Main Event:

 

"The old Mr. Wonderful's back like he got a new paint job or something! Big deal. I'm the old battered-down, broken down Hulkster, and it just keeps running better than ever, man."

 

Um...something that's broken down doesn't run better than ever, Hulk.

[Guest Stunt Granny]

Every Steve Austin promo after Survivor Series 2001.

[tbondrage99 0]

Mean Gene: "Alright, over the last couple of months, it has been very difficult to introduce this man with the words World Wrestling Federation Champion, Hulk Hogan, here at WrestleMania IV this afternoon, you've got the opportunity to change that."

 

Hogan: "Oh yeah, it's been hard to live with, man! FEE FI FO FUM, Andre! One long year, and your time has come, man! No marks, no scars, no blemishes on the Hulkster, brother! But inside man, I've been scarred for one long year! Everywhere I go man, all the little Hulksters ask me, 'Is there any truth to the fact that there was a controversial count? Hulkster, did you really press him over your head? Did you REALLY beat the Giant? Well today man, in WrestleMania IV, we're gonna wipe all that controversy out! Andre the Giant, in the second round, when you're fresh as a daisy, with the whole world watching, I'm gonna PROVE, brother, that I can beat ya, anywhere, anytime! And all my Hulkamaniacs, they're gonna FEEL it, too!

 

Gene: "Speaking of the Hulkamaniacs, Hulk Hogan, we have seen them here in Atlantic City, and I know millions of others are watching very intently all around the world!"

 

Hulk: "Yeah! But if you look into their eyes, man, have you seen the FEAR in all those little Hulksters? They realize, that when I get Andre the Giant cinched up in the launch position, when I slam him through the Trump Plaza, brother, from New York, down to Tampa, Florida, the fault line is gonna break off! And as Andre the Giant FALLS INTO THE OCEAN, as my next two opponents, fall into the ocean floor and I pin 'em, SO WILL DONALD TRUMP, and ALL the Hulkamaniacs! But as Donald Trump hangs on to the top of the Trump Plaza, with his family in his other arm, as they sink to the bottom of the sea, THANK GOD DONALD TRUMP'S A HULKAMANIAC! He'll know enough to let go of his materialistic possessions, hang on to the wife and kids, dog paddle with his life, all the way to safety! But Donald...if something happens and you run out of gas, and all those Hulkamaniacs run out of gas...JUST HANG ON, to the largest back in the world, and I'll DOG PADDLE us, BACKSTROKE ALL OF US TO SAFETY!"

What? Are you nuts?! I love that promo! In fact a freind and I watched it the other day and we agreed aside from Savage winning the title later that night that, and Andre The Giant Choking the life outta Bob Uker after his interview, Hogans interview was the best part of Wrestle Mania IV....Yes I am serious, but then again I'll cheer for Hogan every time I see him anyways

 

Anyways pretty much any promo with The Ultimate Warrior, or Superfly Jimmy Snuka made no sence whatsoever.

[Use Your Illusion 0]

How come we haven't said anything about Sid yet?

 

At least Hogan and Warrior's gimmicks were egomaniacs with all lost grip on reality.

 

Sid was supposed to be a unstopable Monster...

 

Do I really need to remind you of  "Can we start this over?"

I remember a promo that Sid cut once on Kevin Nash, i'm pretty sure it was off either a Nitro or a Thunder, where he uttered the immortal lines.....

"Nash, i'm twice the man you are with half the brain"

Someone with a greater knowledge base of all things Sycho Sid will need to help me with this, but:

 

I swear to God that Sid gave a promo on Nitro, I believe it was around early 2000, where he asked the fans to 'give him a "hell yeah"' if they agreed with him.

 

I just found it hilarious that he was so desperate for a babyface reaction that he started stealing the lines of the most well-known wrestler in history (thus instantly making himself look terribly unoriginal).

 

Can someone hit me up with the transcript to Sid's 'can we start over?' promo? Sounds promising.

 

UYI

[Use Your Illusion 0]

The Hogan/Warrior WM VI promos along with the Hogan WM IV promo easily.

 

Though I do have a new one, does anyone remember Sid's promos in late 2000 in WCW when he would rip off WWF stars' lines? For example, calling himself the "Millenium(sp?) Man" and yelling at the crowd "Gimme a hell yeah!!!"?

I completely missed this when I posted the first time.

 

Sorry about that.

 

Did he rip off any others?