Kane impregnates Lita...

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

I didn't see a thread on this angle, just one making fun of Lita, so I'll ellaborate...

 

I think it's obvious that Kane's yes or no question was relating to Kane "wanting to be normal" like Benoit, having seen Benoit's FAMILY at Backlash.

 

So Kane asked Lita if he could impregnate her. She caved into the pressure of him physically destroying Matt and finally said "yes".

 

Matt tried to contact her all week, as he said, but couldn't find her. She was with Kane.

 

Kane slept with her, and put his "seed" into her. On Raw, he told her "it's done" and doesn't need her anymore.

 

At the same time, Lita told Matt that she loves him, and wanted to show him. So she's going to go have sex with him...(WWE would "never" advocate sex without her first saying "I love you!" right?). She'll get pregnant and Matt will at first be torn, but happy to be a father.

 

"Matt, the baby...it's not yours. It's Kanes..."

 

This seems like the only logical conclusion to this ridiculous angle involving these three (IMO) boring wrestlers. At least they're all lumped together, tho.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

SEED OF KANE~

[Lord of The Curry 0]

They should have Matt freak out like Raven in ECW during the angle w/ Beulah and Dreamer and scream "The pills say 'One a day', moron!". Then they can have Matt attack Steve Richards for some reason until Lita screams "It's not his! It's..........it's Kanes."

 

Money.

[BHK 0]

A) If that's where this does lead, that's kind of lame.

 

B) So if Mae Young gave birth to a hand, what object or body part is going to come out of Lita?

 

If she does give birth to an actual human,I'd mark out if they showed the baby with a minature Kane mask on, but maybe that's just me.

[evilhomer 0]

Sounds like something this writing staff would do.

 

The only question is does Matt still have to play Kane's personal bitch and job to the newborn as well.

[EdwardKnoxII 0]

I hope they don't do that. Cause we know how bad WWE are a booking "I'm pregnant" angles. Let's see you have Mae Young giving birth to a hand and then you had Terri pretends to be pregnant and fakes having a miscarriage.

[MillenniumMan831 0]

Sarcastic Seinfeld mode:

 

This can't miss.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Knowing WWE writers, Lita will give birth by SummerSlam.

[EdwardKnoxII 0]

Sounds like something this writing staff would do.

 

The only question is does Matt still have to play Kane's personal bitch and job to the newborn as well.

Well they would have Kane's baby beat half the roster before SHANE O MAC comes in and beats the baby and saves the day.

[TSA09 0]

No no, Shane's baby saves the day

[SuperJerk 0]

They'll probably give her a miscarriage so she doesn't have to stop wearing ab-exposing shirts anymore.

 

 

I'd know who to blame for this, but Russo's got an aliby.

[Guest Repo Man Reborn]

Well they would have Kane's baby beat half the roster before SHANE O MAC comes in and beats the baby and saves the day.

.....wearing a dress shirt and copying more ECW moves.

 

 

The sad thing is, the way this angle has been played on TV, the pregnancy thing seems like the next logical step.

Kane wanted an answer. She said yes. Lita said she thought it was done. Kane said it's done.

 

 

The only other thing that would work would be if Kane had asked her to wash and wax his car.

 

 

 

If this baby is the spawn of Kane and Lita, I would think that it wearing a mask would be something written into the certificate of birth.

 

Stripper face + ugly dentist = hideous baby

 

 

 

Matt obviously hits that from the back.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

The whole storyline can be the script for the WWE MOVIE~! that they have for Kane!

[EdwardKnoxII 0]

So the question is when Kane and Lita had sex did Kane make Lita wear his old mask?

[nl5xsk1 0]

Looking at the positive, at least they'd be writing an angle that would have to last 9 months ... and long-term planning is a good thing.

[UseTheSledgehammerUh 0]

Kane: "MY BROTHER, THE UNDERTAKER IS DEAD! Now, Lita...hahahaha...I'm going to have sex with you...

 

Lita: "A-my-God!!! It's Kane!!!"

 

Kane: "Damnit...where's the condom...

 

Lita: "Wear it, Kane...it's not worf the wisk...

[Guest Repo Man Reborn]

KING: "JR, Lita is holding a baby, but whose baby is it?"

 

JR: "HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE, IT'S KANE'S! KANE'S! KANE'S!"

 

 

 

(Kane and Lita during lovemaking) to themselves: "Boy, this person is UG-ly!"

[Guest Anglesault]

Looking at the positive, at least they'd be writing an angle that would have to last 9 months ... and long-term planning is a good thing.

The writers will get bored and pump the baby out in three months and say "Uh, it was all an evil plan and they really fucked on Christmas Eve."

[DerangedHermit 0]

Lita gives birth to triplets, but they're not Kane's or Matt's:

 

"BY GAWD WAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STONE GAGA COLD!"

 

*amazingly they're all wearing little cowboy hats*

[NYU 0]

Something tells me Lita won't appreciate it when the Undertaker's hand pops out of her womb and tries to light the baby on fire.

 

Kane just seems to have a string of bad luck follow him whereever he goes.

[DerangedHermit 0]

Something tells me Lita won't appreciate it when the Undertaker's hand pops out of her womb and tries to light the baby on fire.

Ummmmm...that would be scary.

[NYU 0]

Of course. But Taker has a real sadistic streak when it comes to the Jacobs side of the family.

 

Need I remind you of that terrible funeral parlor fire when they were both young children? You know.....the gruesome fire that left no burns.....

[Placebo Effect 0]

I'd actually be more fond of the angle if it went this way, pending that they don't take it on 15 million illogical twists and turns.

[David Blazenwing 0]

No no, Shane's baby saves the day

WRESTLEMANIA 21 MAIN EVENT!!!

 

KANE BABY VS. SHANE BABY!!!

[Dandy 0]

I figured that Kane wanted Lita to have sex with him, she did, and now it's over. She is trying to get back together with Matt, feels the guilt of having sex with Kane, and doesn't want Matt to find out. Kane now has that hanging over her head, and can fuck with Matt, now.

 

I think this is a lot simpler than Kane trying to impregnate Lita. There is still a lot of drama in this storyline.

[nl5xsk1 0]

WRESTLEMANIA 21 MAIN EVENT!!!

 

KANE BABY VS. SHANE BABY!!!

 

Kane & Baby-Kane vs. Shane & Baby-Shane. Hell in the Cell.

 

And you just know that there'd be a swerve, and Baby-Shane would turn on his old man.

[Mecha Mummy 0]

They should have Matt freak out like Raven in ECW during the angle w/ Beulah and Dreamer and scream "The pills say 'One a day', moron!". Then they can have Matt attack Steve Richards for some reason until Lita screams "It's not his! It's..........it's Kanes."

 

Money.

That would be AWESOME, especially if Stevie's just sort of walking by randomly and Matt snaps on him.

 

It would still be a weak angle, but at least it would have markout value.

[Dark Age 0]

Kane & Baby-Kane vs. Shane & Baby-Shane. Hell in the Cell.

 

And you just know that there'd be a swerve, and Baby-Shane would turn on his old man.

 

And yet, Shane would STILL win.

[Guest Repo Man Reborn]

I figured that Kane wanted Lita to have sex with him, she did, and now it's over. She is trying to get back together with Matt, feels the guilt of having sex with Kane, and doesn't want Matt to find out. Kane now has that hanging over her head, and can fuck with Matt, now.

 

I think this is a lot simpler than Kane trying to impregnate Lita. There is still a lot of drama in this storyline.

I'm still thinking he wanted her to wash and wax his car.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Knowing WWE writers, Lita will give birth by SummerSlam.

Screw that. She'll give birth at Summerslam!

 

Matt vs Kane...and while they're trading right hands, Lita collapses because the baby's so unhappy the two guys are fighting. Then they go all Michaels/Martel and try to carry Lita to the back, and then Kane throws hot water over Matt and takes Lita to the trainer's room.

 

Luckily the trainer knows how to deliver a baby, and Kane is by Lita's side. But in runs Matt and he brawls with Kane. Just as the baby is born, Kane Chokeslams Matt through Lita, the table and the baby. And then everyone's like 'Who's the father...

 

 

AND THE BABY SITS UP!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then it's revealed that it's Russo kid, leading to a Bischoff-Russo match at Survivor Series for some reason.

[Red Baron 0]

The only baby that it would be uglier than Kane's would be Albert. All it would be is a clump of hair coming out.