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DCMaximo

Great artists with terrible, terrible songs

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Due to the greatness of Morrissey's "You Are The Quarry", I was re-listening to my Moz back-catalogue, when I decided to listen to the album "Malajusted". Sadly, I forgot it contains the atrocity that is "Roy's Keen", which is not only a terrible pun (based on the Manchester United midfielder Roy Keane), but a dreadful song with REALLY poor lyrics ("we've never seen a keener window-cleaner" indeed). There are other examples of great artists recording absolute musical abortions and I was wondering which songs you guys considered to be utter stinkers by great artists. Others I came up with were:

 

Aerosmith-The Big Ten Inch Record (one of the worst songs I've ever heard)

David Bowie-Hallo Spaceboy

Paul McCartney-Wonderful Christmastime

Ozzy Osbourne-Changes (although I mainly hold his talent-vacuum of a daughter responsible for this)

 

Over to you guys...

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Due to the greatness of Morrissey's "You Are The Quarry", I was re-listening to my Moz back-catalogue, when I decided to listen to the album "Malajusted". Sadly, I forgot it contains the atrocity that is "Roy's Keen", which is not only a terrible pun (based on the Manchester United midfielder Roy Keane), but a dreadful song with REALLY poor lyrics ("we've never seen a keener window-cleaner" indeed).

:huh:

 

Roy's Keen is quality! It's just a fun little pop song, nothing wrong with that.

 

However - ALL of Morrissey's Kill Uncle album deserves a place in this thread. Most are good live on all the 1991 bootlegs I have, but on the album... *shudder*

 

EDIT - and the lines "your boyfriend he, went down on one knee. Well could it be, he's only got one knee" is far, FAR worse than any lyric from Roy's Keen

Edited by Morrissey is God

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Guest FrigidSoul
Aerosmith "Don't Want To Miss A Thing"

Hey now, that song was instrumental in me being able to fuck one of my former friends' cousin. Her room was directly across from my friends' at the time. So we turned that up and put it on repeat for like 20-30min.

 

Iron Maiden - almost all of the Blaze Bailey songs

I'm with you there brotha'man. His vocals just never matched up to the music Iron Maiden was making. I'm sure he's good vocally, just wasn't a good fit with Maiden.

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Guest Choken One

Life of Agony-The Entire Soul Searching Sun album save for Weeds, Tangerine, Hemophilac in me and Heroin Dreams.

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Madonna - American Pie

 

Amen. American Life somehow turned out to be even worse.

 

D12 - My Band

 

The song is horrible, but the video makes up for it.

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Bob Dylan - "One More Cup of Coffee".

 

I absolutely cannot stand this song. I'm actually to the point where I prefer the White Stripes' cover to the original.

 

Are we talking strictly lyrics or vocals here?

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D12- My Band

 

Oh I despise D12 with every fiber of my being but that song and video is pretty funny while being catchy. No harm done since it's not meant to be taken seriously.

 

Now not by any stretch of the imagination are Rancid decent artists, let alone great, but their new stuff...

 

:throwup:

 

At least Out Comes the Wolves and Let's Go were totally fine albums when you're in the mood for some Rancid.

 

Speaking of Rancid, Operation Ivy's drunken cover of "Louie Louie" as if it wasn't hard enough to make any sense of the song.

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Guest wayzing
Due to the greatness of Morrissey's "You Are The Quarry", I was re-listening to my Moz back-catalogue, when I decided to listen to the album "Malajusted". Sadly, I forgot it contains the atrocity that is "Roy's Keen", which is not only a terrible pun (based on the Manchester United midfielder Roy Keane), but a dreadful song with REALLY poor lyrics ("we've never seen a keener window-cleaner" indeed).

:huh:

 

Roy's Keen is quality! It's just a fun little pop song, nothing wrong with that.

 

However - ALL of Morrissey's Kill Uncle album deserves a place in this thread. Most are good live on all the 1991 bootlegs I have, but on the album... *shudder*

 

EDIT - and the lines "your boyfriend he, went down on one knee. Well could it be, he's only got one knee" is far, FAR worse than any lyric from Roy's Keen

Gotta side with maximo here. I was always uncomfortable with Roy's Keane. Maladjusted is a good enough album but that's one of those songs you skip if your iPod randomly picks it.

 

"...never seen a keener window cleaner"

 

Unless he's taking the piss on his fans by trying to see what he can get away with that's not very funny imho.

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The major problem I have with "Roy's Keen" is that, to me, it seems to be a lazier version of "Dagenham Dave" which he wrote simply to use the pun in the title. Also, the fact that it was the single he released before "Satan Rejected My Soul", a fantastic song, really exposed what a weak effort "Roy's Keen" is.

 

Are we talking strictly lyrics or vocals here?

 

Either. "The Big Ten Inch Record" isn't too dreadful musically, but features the most irritating lyrics known to man, whereas the piano refrain from "Changes" makes me want to tear my ears off.

 

Life of Agony-The Entire Soul Searching Sun album save for Weeds, Tangerine, Hemophilac in me and Heroin Dreams.

 

I'm surprised you chose that album- to me it's LOA's highpoint in terms of great songwriting and "Desire" and "My Mind Is Dangerous" give an indication of the direction Keith would take in his solo career. "Angry Tree" is pap though.

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Guest I Got Banned for Sucking

I'll say Metallica and Eminem here.

 

Both with tremendous talent, yet wrote themself off either late in their career or at the start for most of it.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I hate "Disco Boy" and "You are what you is" by Zappa. A lot of Diabolus in Musica by Slayer can suck a fat one as well.

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Sheryl Crow's horrible... horrible cover of Sweet Child Of Mine.

 

Within 30 seconds I was plotting her murder.

 

Edit: While I don't particularly like Sheryl Crow I can at least tolerate her. This was like the sound of baby iguanas being murdered.

Edited by MrRant

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Guns N Roses - My World

That's a matter of opinion. Most of the "Axlites" will defend that song to the death. Me? I just play it to annoy people.

It has a sweet line in it though, plus it's a pretty bizarre fucking end to something great.

 

Bit like Axl himself, really.

 

UYI

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Michael Jackson - Almost everything from the 90s, most of Bad

How dare you.

 

'Tallica - Invisible Kid.

 

UYI

Oh come on, can you justify You Are Not Alone?

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Aerosmith-The Big Ten Inch Record (one of the worst songs I've ever heard)

Man, of all the recent Aerosmith abortions (Fly Away From Here, Sunshine, Hole In My Soul) you pick that song?

 

Just about anything from recent Sting

 

Sheryl Crow - - Sweet Child

 

Jagger/Bowie - - Dancing In The Street

 

What was that song Bono did with Wycliff, or whatever his name is?

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Iron Maiden - almost all of the Blaze Bailey songs

I'm with you there brotha'man. His vocals just never matched up to the music Iron Maiden was making. I'm sure he's good vocally, just wasn't a good fit with Maiden.

Oh come on.

 

 

The Clansman

Educated Fool

Sign of the Cross

Virus

Man on the Edge

 

 

those fit very well with Maiden during the time they were doing music. Its just Bruce does a better job when performing these songs.

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Guest wayzing
I hate "Disco Boy" and "You are what you is" by Zappa. A lot of Diabolus in Musica by Slayer can suck a fat one as well.

Can't blame you for "You are what you is" but I find Disco Boy hilarious. The backing vocals during the repeated "It's disco love tonight, make sure you look alright" never fails to crack me up. HAHAHA.

 

I'm gonna need to listen to it right now. Thanks for reminding me.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

I think Dancin' Fool does a better job of making fun of disco.

 

..but I go dancin' every night, hopin' one day I might get it right..

 

I've got it, you're an Italian!

What? You're Jewish? Oh. Love your nails.

You must be a Libra.

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Guest Random Hero
Michael Jackson - Almost everything from the 90s, most of Bad

How dare you.

 

'Tallica - Invisible Kid.

 

UYI

Oh come on, can you justify You Are Not Alone?

Most of Bad is terrible?

 

Which songs?

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Guest Flyboy
Michael Jackson - Almost everything from the 90s, most of Bad

How dare you.

 

'Tallica - Invisible Kid.

 

UYI

Oh come on, can you justify You Are Not Alone?

That song fucking rules -- you don't know what you're talking about.

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"you are not alone" is atrocious. the melody line is boring as shit, vocals are weak, instrumentation & production are as sappy as humanly possible, and the lyrics are insipid.

 

most of 'bad' is amazing.

 

lennon's "give me some truth" is stupid, as is "crippled inside."

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