School Memories

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

These ones just here aren't anything huge, but in preschool I remember sitting at the end of a tunnel in the playground and not letting a girl out when I thought she wasn't serious. I was sent to the corner.

 

And construction. We got to make things out of cardboard, toilet rolls, etc. Boy, I'd mark the fuck out for that.

 

Kindergarten, preschool, primary school, high school, anything - what sticks in your memory?

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

The Great Binoca Incident of 2001. I'll just leave well enough alone.

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

Nobody is actually gonna say "aww come on, you GOTTA tell us this one"

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Just what I was gonna say. I mean, what Thumbtack said.

 

Come on BBCW - if you're gonna mention it here, damn well tell us what happened.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Hmm...

 

* In kindergarden I always had these girls dress me, tie my shoes, etc. I was a pimp as a kid. What the hell happened?

 

* In grade school I stood up on my seat one time during lunch and did a Tarzan-like yell for no reason.

 

* In grade school we would go off on "study groups." (I went to a small Lutheran school up until the 5th grade -- there were only three kids in 5th grade.) And all we would do is good around. Well, one time my two classmates -- Chris Carr and Connie Holmes -- and I were in some storage room that had a window to our school's roof. Chris and Connie went out on the roof, and I was about to, but then I heard our teacher's footsteps and closed the door, stranding them both out on the roof for about 5 minutes or so while talking to our teacher about several matters.

 

That's pretty much it, outside of a few stupid things that aren't worth typing. Although one of my favorite answers to anything was when our teacher asked us how Santa gets around to everyone's houses, and one kid said "in his car." Don't know why I found that funny, but I did...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I was a model student until I hit puberty. High school was nothing special. College was the only time I genuinely hated school.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Let's just say a fight consisted of more spraying in the eyes with the stuff thanc actual punches thrown.

 

Worst. Fight. Ever. It was like watching Mike Tysons return in 1995 and knocking that white guy out in about half a minute.

[Guest I Got Banned for Sucking]

Let's just say a fight consisted of more spraying in the eyes with the stuff thanc actual punches thrown.

 

Worst. Fight. Ever. It was like watching Mike Tysons return in 1995 and knocking that white guy out in about half a minute.

Worst. Recount. Ever.

 

Come on!

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Wasn't that a Seinfeld episode? You fucking suck, Modes, and iB sucks worse for caring.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Wasn't that a Seinfeld episode? You fucking suck, Modes, and iB sucks worse for caring.

Liquidate them both

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

* In grade school I stood up on my seat one time during lunch and did a Tarzan-like yell for no reason.

I didn't feel like typing memories or anything, but I just wanted to say that I did that last semester, and I'm in Gr. 12. It was less of a Tarzan though, more of a Money Shot/Death Metal growl.

 

Oh well, some of us mature slower than others, just in mine a lot slower.

[Richard 0]

If anything interesting happened in school, it probably sucked for me.

[Guest Quik]

One time we started playing volleyball in the middle of Bilogy with a blown up condom.

 

We also started playing baseball with a rolled up softcover textbook and some pennies. Someone threw a battery and it almost broke a window after I hit it.

 

Another time me and a friend of mine borrowed another friends crutches. I had him walk down the hall with the crutches pretending to be hurt, then I ran up to him and bodychecked him. He sold it like a champ. I looked around and everyone in the hall looked like they wanted to kill me.

[The Kid 0]

In grade 8 Social Studies(History for most of you) we were told that whenever you hear Oh Canada, you must stand up. Just that afternoon in English class the band was down the hall playing Oh Canada for a teacher that had originally been American but just got her Canadian citizenship. Anyways, we had this really really dumb and just ignorant sub for this english class. We were in the middle of getting a lecture and I heard the anthem so I stood up and told everyone else to as well because hey, we're supposed to stand whenever we hear it. We stood for the whole song, not saying a thing, while the teacher screamed and screamed at us.

My favorite, and most patriotic school memory ever.

[Nighthawk 0]

I was expelled one time because they inspected my locker and found such a ridiculous hoarde of rule breaking items it seemed like a joke. There were 2 road flares, a pack of razor blades, various pocket knives, a Hustler magazine, a box cutter, a pack of cigarettes, 3 lighters, nunchakus and some fireworks. It was a religious school, so they also weren't too thrilled about the death metal cds, Satanic bible, Necronomicon, or hooded cloak and skull mask. There was also a roll of money and a zip lock bag full of oregano (that yielded some hilarious results).

Luckily this was pre Columbine hysteria or I probably would have went to jail, but it was pretty funny. I still have the letter they gave my parents with each item they found meticulously inventoried.

[Zack Malibu 0]

I remember we did this like two years ago, although I think that thread focused mainly on high school pranks and stunts we all pulled. Anyways, here's a somewhat abbreviated version of what I had already put in that thread:

 

Skipped the senior prom (the only dance I didn't go to in high school) because the girl I was dating (from another school) was going out of town to a wedding that weekend. Turned down three other dates, and managed to get interviewed for an article that was published in our statewide newspaper about my school's prom, about how everything was going well with this girl and that prom is the "last dance" so you should be with who you want to be with. While I would have had an awesome time, no doubt (dances were always a high point for me during school), the results of that article going to print (basically having every female swoon over my little stunt, and the girl I was dating growing even more fond of me when I showed my devotion) were well worth it.

 

Speaking of dances, I used to tote my video camera around to them and be the unofficial videographer for the evening. At my junior prom at a local country club, the DJ played Sinatra's "New York, New York" and a bunch of us did a kickline, mocking the Rockette's. The kid at the end of the line, whom no one in my crowd really talked to but he went with our friend Terry, was being stupid, throwing snap kicks. All of a sudden, he snaps his leg out, and his shoe goes flying off, nearly clipping the DJ in the head before shattering some China that was on a shelf behind the DJ's setup. We got this on tape, and you just see everyone drop to the floor in tears, laughing their asses off at this kid.

 

During junior year, I was asked by my homeroom teacher if I wanted to be a science tech for another science teacher in the school. It would count as a credit towards graduation, and get me out of study. They said that I wouldn't be able to get my credit until senior year, but I could do it on a "trial basis" junior year. I suck at science, and didn't know what to expect, but all it was was doing errand type stuff (grading papers, set up projects, etc.) The teacher barely gave me anything to do, so I just sat around and mingled with friends in his classes. The benefits? Hall passes that were signed by him that I could use whenever I needed (or that could be sold off if I needed a few extra bucks), keys to the elevator (faculty and handicap use only), keys to the faculty bathroom, and the teacher would go out and get lunch for the other teachers in his wing every day, and always grab me a grinder or sandwhich, which means I didn't pay for lunch for half of my junior year or at all senior year.

 

A group of senior friends when I was a junior formed a little prank pulling clique as their last hurrah before graduation. This included stuffing fish in lockers and ceiling tiles, squirting baby oil on the stairs (which resulted in a few nasty falls), and the pinnacle of their prankhood, setting off a paintball bomb in the guidance office, which for some reason, I got blamed for (despite only knowing these kids and hanging out with only two of them outside of school). Now, I've always been the laid back, carefree type who doesn't cause trouble, so you can imagine my reaction when that came up. The principal, who I had had in middle school a few years earlier, didn't even say "Did you do it?" She said "I KNOW you did it, and the police will be notified." Not afraid of the threats and knowing I was innocent, I just let my ego take over and said "Excuse me, but what have you been smoking?"

It didn't go over to well, but once she realized she had the wrong guy, I got an apology.

 

There was the "great girl chase" of '96 as well, when I started falling for a girl who had just started hanging out with my circle of friends. It was the typical back and forth, high school romance deal until we finally got together. When we broke up (at the end of the school year, due to her "just wanting to be friends", which is a bs excuse and always will be), she became persona non grata, even though I still liked her. The following year, when I was a junior and she a softmore, she started dating a freshmen who thought he was hot shit. One night, I got invited to a football game by my exes sister, since her b/f was one of my best friends and on the football team. I went in hopes of spending time with the ex, and sure enough we had to go and pick up her boyfriend. Joy. This kid, being the obnoxious fuck that he was, got in the car and tried to get all up on her in my full view (she wasn't having it), and then called her sister a "dumb cunt" for going down the wrong street. That set me off, and I was ready to kill him in the car, and scared him well enough that he wound up ditching my ex for the rest of the night. It led to one of those moments where she admitted that I was the nicest guy she had been with, and made me think she might be coming to her senses. A little later on, I went to meet up with my friend (the sisters boyfriend) after the game, and who is standing over in front of the school but my exes boyfriend, who hadn't come around us the whole game. This kid was on crutches due to a broken ankle or something, but starts jawjacking with me about how "she's all his now, and I'm not the hot shit I think I am", yadda yadda yadda. Far be it for me to be cocky, but there is no way in hell I'm letting some little pussy freshmen cuss me out, so I wander on over to him and kick his crutches right out from under him, dropping him to the ground. Before I could do anything else, my friend Matt, the one who goes out with my exes sister, runs over to hold me back. Of course, I tell him about the "dumb cunt" comment and then HE goes off on the kid, and had to be held back by one of the kids on the football team. The freshmen dick didn't even ride home with us, and left me to enjoy the rest of the night with my ex, whom I thought was warming up to me again, only to see her go running right back to the schmuck no more than a week later.

 

In middle school during sixth grade, this kid in gym class for some reason found it hysterical to try and pants people. He attempted it on me, and I just shoved him away, but rather than shove back or take a swing, the kid tried to scratch me. Yes, that's right, some kid tried to catfight with me. I shoved him off of me and kicked him in the ribs for good measure, knocking the wind right out of him. Of course, the gym teacher only saw me pushing and kicking, and not what happened before, so we both got sent to the office. They wanted to suspend us both and had me call my mom (who was actually at a school function at my sisters school and they made me call her there) to come pick me up. My mom, who was very active in town and school events, told the principal there was no way in hell she was keeping me home for defending myself. I guess she ripped him a new one pretty well, because every day since then, he helped me out anytime I needed it. I lucked out when I went to high school, because he transferred there to be an administrative assistant, and I used that to my advantage, as he switched me out of a class into one with my friends, and hooked me up with hall passes, never marked me late, etc. When the students found out he was going to be let go halfway through the year, we staged a walk out, and a good three quarters of the school walked out of class in protest. It didn't go over to well with the administration, and that guy still left, but we weren't going to let him go without showing that we wanted him to stay.

 

I've got tons more, but I've taken up too much space already. If I'm feeling motivated, maybe I'll follow up with more later.

[Red Baron 0]

I was the highschool radio DJ for almost a year, except for the last month. Not enough diversity in the music.

 

Heh, then the person replaced me had almost the same playlists as one of those rock-pop stations like The Edge, which had a playlist about 20 songs.

[Fuzzy Dunlop 0]

In junior high I stood outside the girls' lockerroom, lifting up my shirt and asking "who's got the titties now?" My friends thought it was hilarious.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Wasn't that a Seinfeld episode? You fucking suck, Modes, and iB sucks worse for caring.

I think I saw once when Elaine used it to escape some whackos house. Of course, I only first saw that 3 weeks ago or so.

[Internet Warfare 0]

This semester. Starting a wave (along with my friends) at a school rally. It worked the first time but died everyother time. That was cool.

[DerangedHermit 0]

I remember we did this like two years ago, although I think that thread focused mainly on high school pranks and stunts we all pulled. Anyways, here's a somewhat abbreviated version of what I had already put in that thread:

I thought you always got in a lot of trouble with Mr. Belding?

 

[/Vince McMahon: "The crowd is GROANING in PAIN."]

[Guest ian.]

Maybe I'm the only one in the universe, but I had no friends in grade school, or high school. I have no fond memories and would rather forget the years.

 

It's probably just me though.

[NoCalMike 0]

At school they used to play music, and just about everyday the played Coolio's Gangstas Paradise. Whenever you tried to get them to play non hip hop music, they would claim, "we don't know the songs, so we can't be sure they don't have cuss words" "They" being the guys controlling the stereo system

 

In Earth Science class, a kid dropped a big chuck of dry ice into the fish tank and it started bubbling like crazy and the teacher accused him of purposely trying to kill her fish. Then she went to sit down on her chair with wheels and it slid out from under her and she fell on the ground.

 

2 chicks got into a fight, and one made the mistake of getting into a fight while wearing a skirt. Needless to say, every guy got a nice show and wanted that fight to go on forever. They got suspended and procedded to try and fight they day they both got back.

 

An anti abortion group came and protested at our school, which brought out the local news. Was crazy on campus for an hour or two.

 

Someone brought the fakes of Tiffany Amber theisn in a see-thru black top and must have made about 50 copies, started handing them out, and then comes the wind.......wow you could only imagine.

 

Our american history teacher/baseball varsity coach went from David Weathers to Dana Rivers, and even appeared on Montel Williams.

 

.......more to come.......

[Richard 0]

Maybe I'm the only one in the universe, but I had no friends in grade school, or high school. I have no fond memories and would rather forget the years.

 

It's probably just me though.

You're not alone. I'm just glad I didn't get shot. I think.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I didn't mind High School, although I'm positive that it was the exact opposite of Zack's upbringing. Instead of hanging out at the game, and going to prom, and all that happy social jazz, I was the star of the kegger. Known by most folks as either the guy with the guitar or the chemicals. I was elected "most mysterious" in the little awards thing in the Senior edition of my school paper. An interesting award, as I somehow remained an enigma and an outcast, but had enough friends and females to not be a dweeb.

[jimmy no nose 0]

I can think of some really weird stories but I'll just tell my favorite one. Once in high school, 11th grade, I got called down to the office. The whole way there I was trying to think of what I could have done because it had been weeks since I'd broken any rules that I remembered. I get there and the principal says to me "Were you in the vending machine room this morning?" and I say no thinking maybe someone stole some money from the machines or whatever. He then says "Did you drink milk this morning?" and I say "No, I don't drink milk." At this point he just freaks out and goes "YES YOU DID I KNOW YOU DID, I'M GOING TO CHECK THE TAPE OF THE VENDING MACHINE ROOM AND WHEN I SEE YOU THERE WILL BE SEVERE CONSEQUENCES!"

 

At this point he leaves and the assistant principal comes in. He was much more calm and says "I don't know what exactly the principal has informed you of, but I'd just like to explain the whole situation for you. Well this morning in your seat in home room we found a bottle half full of milk and half full of urine. We are now 100% sure that you left it there." I crack up for a good minute and he got pretty angry. He says "Alright, this is your chance to admit to doing it" and I say "I didn't do it." He says "Well then explain to me what happened?" I just tell him I have no idea. He then says something like "Well you were in there in homeroom and the room was empty periods 1 through 3, who else could it have been?" I of course respond with "Um...Couldn't it have been anyone in the whole school since the room was empty for 3 periods?"

 

They still decided it had to be me and told me I was not allowed to use the hall pass at all until further notice and if I really had to go to the bathroom I would have to have the teacher call the office and ask for someone to supervise my bathroom visit. They also searched my backpack, mixed up all my papers, then confiscated an empty Best Buy bag from my locker.

 

I don't actually use the bathrooms often, usually if I have to I waited for in between periods, so it didn't really matter to me. Every time there was a substitute teacher, though, I would make sure to make them call the office and get someone to follow me to the bathroom. Every time I'd just end up saying something like "I can't go with you staring at me" and just leave.

 

About a week later there had been several times where someone would piss in the middle of the hallway. Suspicion started to move away from me because I was stuck in class at all times. Then a few days after that THE PHANTOM POOPER began to strike. What would happen was some crazy kid would take a crap in the bathroom, then smear it all over the walls and mirrors, sometimes in the hallways too. At this point they began letting me use the hall pass again.

 

In the end, I never found out who pissed in the bottle the first time, I found out my friend had been pissing in the hallway to make them think it wasn't me, the Phantom Pooper was caught brown handed and expelled. We all lived happily ever after.

[Red Baron 0]

Well...I guess this our school claim to fame right now...for the time being. Way to go guys, you fat fucks...

[Ted the Poster 0]

Once during junior high I was walking to band class and our drummer, this fat fuck named Matt Kimball, snuck up behind me and started whacking my head with his drumsticks. It had already been a crappy day(F's galore, break-up, etc.) and that just pushed me over the edge. I promptly set my saxaphone case down, took the instrument out, and proceeded to wail on him with the case for a good minute. He ended up with a black eye, three bruised ribs and a broken foot. That got me a good 10-day suspension, and my only regret is not having gone for that fuckwad's hands so he wouldn't be able to play his precious drums for a good while.

 

In my senior year of high school I had a physics techer from Syria. Now I don't know if it was something he ate or what, but he emitted a horrendous body odor. Think vinegar mixed with a sweaty fart and you get the picture. Whenver a student talked about him it wasn't about his grading policy, a test, or his trouble with the english language. It was ALWAYS about his BO. By the end of the year everyone was fed up, and a plan was formed. Three other guys and myself, each in one of his classes, went out and bought cans and cans of deoderant. The night before the last day of class we broke into the school and HEAVILY sprayed the entire classroom. Then all of the empty cans were placed on his desk. Of course he still didn't get the hint, and thought it was just a prank.

[haVoc 0]

Destroying the gym lockerroom. Smashed the drop ceiling, broke the light bulbs in the shower, marker on the lockers, etc,.

 

Getting high (weed) before, during and after school.

 

Two friends and I stealing a bottle of Black Velvet from my step fathers little bar in the basement and drinking most of it before school. That shit is nasty, btw.

 

Showing up for home room, leaving with three friends and two girls, going to the museum, playing hide and seak until getting kicked out, sneaking back into school for lunch, ate, left again.

 

My friend and I taking a $20 bet we could skip the whole day of school, all 8 periods, without leaving school grounds. Basically 6 plus hours of hiding in the bath rooms, in the gym, in the gym locker room, outside the gym, out back, behind the stairs and just walking the halls. We were finally caught 7th period down by the library. That was a long day. Not as fun as we taught it would be.

 

My senior year, a friend and I faked a fight and told everyone we were going to fight behind the Boys Club after school. Which was right across the street. A few other friends were in on it to spread the word. Bunch of kids show up and we come driving in my car and start beeping the horn, pointing, yelling and laughing at all the idiots standing there. People were pissed because they missed the bus and other rides to see a fight.

[Guest Smues]

My freshmen year at HS I was an idiot. I didn't real do anything, but I hung out with someone who did and got in trouble for it. At lunch a few of us would hang out with this friend of ours who did stupid shit all the time. At first it was just throwing crap off the railing in the skylight. (There were these stupid ugly hanging sun discs and we'd try to stick pennies and crap in them, usually miss and hit people on the floor below.) Then it evolved to throwing bigger stuff like batteries. I didn't throw anything other than pennies, but I was a stupid 14 year old encouraging him to throw anything and everything. Then he started playing with fire. Let some matches and stuffed them in a locker. OO AA yeah we were easily entertained. Then the big one was when he had a signal flare when we were outside so he lit it and stuck it in the street. OO AA how cool are we? We told him to move it to the side of the road so no one would run over it, so what's he do? Moves it to the side, and sticks it right under a parked car tire. After a phew minutes BOOM. Got called to the office a few days later and got in trouble for the matches in locker incident. They kept screaming that I should have reported my friend for it, because the school could have burned down. I kept thinking "gee if something caught fire don't you THINK i would have alerted someone?" but whatever. He got expelled (and i'm told he later got expelled from his next school for driving off with a teacher's car) and me and the other guys involved got 1 1/2 day suspensions, which was total bullshit. The VP who dealt with us said we'd get 4-5 days after school detention, then said "Nah that's too much paper work for me you're suspended" Which almost screwed me over because I was in the Jazz Choir and the rule was if you get suspended you're out. Lucky the teacher was cool and let me stay since all I did was hang out with someone who did stupid stuff, and I really shouldn't have gotten suspension.

 

After that I matured pretty quickly and didn't really do anything exciting. I remember my sophmore year it was the day of the awards convocation and our drumline (which I was in) had gone to state and taken 3rd so we were going to get to play for the school, and 10 minutes before it was supposed to start they tell us there's been a threat made and the con is cancelled. Boy was I mad. I guess someone had written on a bathroom stall and a computer screen "If you thought Columbine was bad, wait until the awards con" so they cancelled it (this was like 2 weeks after Columbine).

 

Speaking of Columbine I remember on the bus ride to a music festival with the choir our choir director is giving a boring speech to the choir and says "We're going to dedicate our performance to all those kids who died at Concubine High School." That was one of the funniest things I'd ever heard.

 

My memory is terrible so I can't remember much else, although I'm sure other stuff happen. Hmm let's see. Oh yeah, some kid made a conterfeit $100 bill or maybe it was $20 in one of his classes so that brought out a bunch of FBI guys, or so I'm told. Was one of those things everything believes is true but you don't actually know.

 

One of the English teachers told us when he was doing something in the office some student came in yelling and screaming and flipping the office staff a bunch of shit. Some guy standing in the office told him to calm down. The student told the guy to fuck himself, and WHAM he takes the student down in a split second. Turns out he was an undercover FBI agent, and boy did the kid mess with the wrong guy.

 

Oh yeah I don't know how I forgot this one. In my four years at High School we had FOUR choir directers. Four. In nine or ten years my high school has had a total of seven choir directers, and yet the first of those seven was there for over thirty years and retired. Anyway back to the four when I was there. First guy had been there a year or two when I got there. March 31 (I remember because it was my birthday) the principle comes in and tells us our directer "resigned". What really happened (and it took me two years to get this 100% confirmed, but I finally did) was he was having a relationship with one of the students (dunno how far the relationship went. She was 18, but school policy was no relationships with students period) and was told to resign or be fired. Everyone pretty much knew or suspected they had a relationship, but didn't say anything. One kid finally ratted them out to the administration and that's when he got the axe.

 

So he's gone and they bring in two people to replace him, one for morning, the guy I got stuck with, and one for the afternoon. They both were to finish out the year, then they'd pick one to be the permanent teacher the next year. They pick the afternoon lady and she is the teacher my sophmore, junior, and first half of senior years. Then near the end of the 1st semester her voice starts leaving her, and her doctor says to take 6 months off or risk losing it forever, so she's gone and we get directer number 4. Then after I graduate teacher #4 finds out he was just a temp replacement and the next year someone else comes in. She teaches 2 years, then leaves for a job at a school with her daddy and yet another comes in.

 

This post is going way to long. I babble when I get tired. Two last things of note. I had always wanted to go up on the cat walk in the theater but hadn't found a way until my senior year when I had a friend who was a stage crewman and had access to the keys. At our senior allnighter he had the keys because they needed him to run the lights and stuff for the hypnotist later on, so we went up to the catwalk and goofed off. He tied a rope to the catwalk and lowered it down, then we went down and played tarzan swinging around the theater. That was a blast.

 

Lastly probably the thing I remember most from high school. At the end of my sophmore year we finally got a new drum set in jazz choir to replace the old piece of junk we'd been stuck with. Summer comes, and at the begining of junior year we find it's been stolen, so I'm stuck with the old one again. No clue who did it. Everyone was a suspect (kind of angered me when she (the choir director at the time) asked a friend of mine if he thought I did it, since no way in hell I'd steal the new one and force myself to play on the old piece of crap). Overtime more stuff gets stolen, not just from the music department either. I don't remember the full list, but seems to me some computer equipment, video equipment, and such was also stolen. In I think it was march I get out of my zero hour (the jazz choir) and go sit by the band room until it's time to go to class. The band director comes out and says he needs to see me in his office now. I come in and he shuts the door and I'm thinking oh fuck what did I do? He asks me in a very serious tone "Do you know whats going on with Kyle?" I said no. He asked if I was sure and I said yes. And he said ok I could leave. I asked what was going on and he said not to worry about it, and oh I was now the new drum captain. Turns out our drum captain had stolen all of the stuff, because he had the stage crew key ring, and sold it all off to pawn shops. The $$ value overall was pretty big. He got expelled, but the administration didn't press charges. It was just a wierd creepy situation overall.

 

I'm sure other interesting stuff happened at school, but as you can tell I was a music geek so I didn't notice much stuff that happened outside of the music department.

 

 

Oh one last quickly that just popped to mind. In 7th grade in Jr. High before school started one day they made an announcement GO TO CLASS NOW RIGHT AWAY. We all go to class and they shut and lock the doors. Turns out some student was on his way to school with a gun. At least that's what the people who drove by him called and told the school. Turned out it was a fake shotgun he was bringing for history class. That was kind of scary.