The Czech Republic Posted August 13, 2004 Report Posted August 13, 2004 With college coming up, it's time to start doing what college kids do best. No, not getting wasted and contracting STDs. That comes later. I'm talking, of course, about hating my country. Europeans don't like us much. In fact, NOBODY likes us much anymore. Even the Canadians are poking fun at us. It's probably because, we, as Americans, say really ignorant things. Just boorish, uneducated, stupid things that just make you think, "what a dumb American." For good measure, to be a Dumb American if you're not already, head down to snopes.com and take every urban legend clearly marked as fale, AND BELIEVE IT TO BE TRUE IN YOUR HEART OF HEARTS. Talking about how you saw the episode of Donahue when the CEO of Proctor & Gamble announced he was a Satanist always makes the winners stick out in a crowd. As always, I've got the concept in mind, "post ignorant crap you hear from well-meaning housewives and other middling folk." For starters: Dumb Americans on the Gregorian calendar: "Friday the 13th is a lucky day if you're not superstitious." Stupid 8th grade teacher: "You shouldn't do anything bad today, it's March 15th." Me: "So?" Teacher: "Well, you'll get caught doing whatever it is that you weren't supposed to do, 'beware the eyes of March' or something like that, I don't remember." Take it away, board
kkktookmybabyaway Posted August 13, 2004 Report Posted August 13, 2004 Dumb thread. Oh, and excuse me while I kiss this guy...
The Czech Republic Posted August 13, 2004 Author Report Posted August 13, 2004 I heard he really kissed a guy!
The Kid Posted August 13, 2004 Report Posted August 13, 2004 Even the Canadians are poking fun at us. ...We always hated you guys. It's not recent. Reading your post I was thinking "what a boorish, uneducated, dumb American".
Corey_Lazarus Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 That's okay. You're just mad at us because we didn't unleash Celine Dion and Bryan Adams onto the world. It's okay, we feel sorry for you, too.
The Kid Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 At least we didn't unleash Rosie Odonell and Carrot-Top to the world.
CanadianChick Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 My friend went to Florida and had a conversation with this lady: "So, where are you from?" "British Columbia." "Where?" "It's a province in Canada." "Oh! That's in Europe, isn't it? Why don't you have an accent?" "..."
Golgo 13 Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 It's Florida. Along with a lot of the south, it shouldn't count.
Ravenbomb Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 At least we didn't unleash Rosie Odonell and Carrot-Top to the world. Need I remind you of Brian Adams?
Highland Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 We've already apologized for Brian Adams. Stupid American.
A Happy Medium Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 "ides of march" by the way...it needed to be said. I'm American, I'm not stupid... but I do live in Texas, so I am a bit of an oxymoron...
Guest Vitamin X Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 It's Florida. Along with a lot of the south, it shouldn't count. Depends on where in Florida. South Florida in particular, should have no affiliation with the United States whatsoever, with maybe the exception of the Keys.
The Czech Republic Posted August 14, 2004 Author Report Posted August 14, 2004 You read Dave Barry much? He proposed that as well.
kkktookmybabyaway Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 You know what I don't get? Why are Americans supposed to care? Oh no this country hates us and that country hates us. Like it matters -- we have all the big toys anyway...
Edwin MacPhisto Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 Most of Florida isn't really the south. It's the northeast with sun.
Guest Vitamin X Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 You read Dave Barry much? He proposed that as well. Proposed what?
DerangedHermit Posted August 14, 2004 Report Posted August 14, 2004 It's the northeast's nursing home/psych center with sun. Clarified that up a little for you.
Corey_Lazarus Posted August 15, 2004 Report Posted August 15, 2004 Oh, wow, look! I'm Canadian! My country has given you maple syrup, ice hockey, and the Hart family and their students, and nothing else positive! You American's have BIG PENISES and are our superiors! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ravenbomb Posted August 15, 2004 Report Posted August 15, 2004 We've already apologized for Brian Adams. Fine, then on behalf of everybody in America, I formally apologize for Rosie O'Donnell and Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson. Happy now?
ZGangsta Posted August 15, 2004 Report Posted August 15, 2004 Oh, wow, look! I'm Canadian! My country has given you maple syrup, ice hockey, and the Hart family and their students, and nothing else positive! You American's have BIG PENISES and are our superiors! Don't forget Men Without Hats. You guys loved the Sfety Dance. Admit it
DerangedHermit Posted August 15, 2004 Report Posted August 15, 2004 Oh, wow, look! I'm Canadian! My country has given you maple syrup, ice hockey, and the Hart family and their students, and nothing else positive! You American's have BIG PENISES and are our superiors! Don't forget Men Without Hats. You guys loved the Sfety Dance. Admit it For about 15 minutes, we did. But think of all the bad Canada has released: Celine Dion, Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morissette. Although, Long Island is sorry for Howard Stern (Roosevelt), Rosie O'Donnell (Commack - my mom graduated with her sister), and transvestite-loving Eddie Murphy (also Roosevelt). Someone in my town did invent the first video game though. (Bill Higginbotham developed it at Brookhaven Nat. Lab. using an oscilloscope to display it; he didn't patent it, however.) To sum up, America
Guest Temet Posted August 15, 2004 Report Posted August 15, 2004 Use Your Illusion and Nice Guy Adam speak the truth.
Guest HungryJack Posted August 15, 2004 Report Posted August 15, 2004 Oh, wow, look! I'm Canadian! My country has given you maple syrup, ice hockey, and the Hart family and their students, and nothing else positive! You American's have BIG PENISES and are our superiors! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ? What the hell was that? you're joking, no?
The Czech Republic Posted August 15, 2004 Author Report Posted August 15, 2004 You read Dave Barry much? He proposed that as well. Proposed what? In Dave Barry Hits Below The Beltway, a book I recommend to all of you, he makes a compelling argument for kicking South Florida out of the Union. Reasons include CIA drug busts that result in cocaine rain, men who have no qualms about admitting "I am a Colombian drug lord" in public, and obviously, Election 2000. Oh yeah, and giant zucchini. (You'll get it when you read it)
The Kid Posted August 15, 2004 Report Posted August 15, 2004 Canadians invented velcro, basketball, electric light bulbs, film colourization, goalie masks, pacemaker, kerosene, odometer, plexiglass, railway car brakes, snowblowers, standard time, television, telephone, wireless radio and zippers. Plus so many more things, we're not useless. Ok...some of us are, but not most, unlike the states. Oh well, we burned down your white house once. That's enough.
Guest Eyeball Kid Posted August 15, 2004 Report Posted August 15, 2004 The world would benefit from ridding itself of North America entirely. Australia, too!
Guest Olympic Slam Posted August 16, 2004 Report Posted August 16, 2004 Canadians invented velcro, basketball, electric light bulbs, film colourization, goalie masks, pacemaker, kerosene, odometer, plexiglass, railway car brakes, snowblowers, standard time, television, telephone, wireless radio and zippers. Plus so many more things, we're not useless. Ok...some of us are, but not most, unlike the states. Oh well, we burned down your white house once. That's enough. Again, nobody cares.
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