Si82 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2006 "I don't know if he'd be the first pick of somebody I'd want to watch my...back" - Joey Styles on Goldust. "Now King, before the street fight starts can we notify Coach's next of kin or, at the very least, do the right thing and find a new home for the inflatable woman he lives with" - Joey Styles Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2006 This is during the Rockin' Robin/Sherri match from Paris where Robin wins the title, found Best of WWF 18 Heenan: That's not something a champion does, they never turn their back on their opponent! Gorilla: How would you know, you've never had a champion! Heenan: ... He starts to say something, then just comes to a screeching halt. Gold. The commentary for that whole match is terrific, in fact. They make a "wager" for dinner, and Heenan keeps saying things like "Come on Sherri, I got a double Whopper at stake!" and Gorilla says "yeah, you wish!" After the match, I love how Heenan "leaves" the broadcast booth but Monsoon assures us that his security team will make sure The Brain pays up. Monsoon always had some good one-liners ready on Coliseum tapes. Right now I'm watching World Tour, the match from France between Hogan & Savage, and Gorilla and Alfred are surprised at how much Savage weighed in at. Gorilla ponders "maybe they were announcing Sherri's weight, I dunno." And that Elizabeth was "led down by a couple of short fat guys", one of whom was Pat Patterson. There are a couple other tapes where Gorilla comments on how Patterson "let himself go", as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JST 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2006 Re: The famous Steiners VS Harts tag match, the road agents come out to break up the fight. "Here come the WWF officials to break i--IS THAT PAT PATTERSON, MY GOD DID HE GET FAT!!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Si82 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2006 Re: The famous Steiners VS Harts tag match, the road agents come out to break up the fight. "Here come the WWF officials to break i--IS THAT PAT PATTERSON, MY GOD DID HE GET FAT!!" Who said that? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JST 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2006 That'd be Monsoon. Bear in mind, I wrote that entirely from memory so there's a chance I confused the matches. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2006 Of course if a wrestler gets fat while still active, he must be "bulking up" per Monsoon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2006 "He looks bigger than I've ever seen him!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Aero 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2006 "Undertaker, first I'll tell all these tax cheats, then I'll tell you... NOBODY is gonna rest in peace.. UNTIL YOU'VE PAID ALL YOUR TAXES!" - IRS at Royal Rumble 95 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vampiro69 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2006 Some times cheap heat is so great. Espically the IRS stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2006 I loved IRS's favorite standby quote . . . "I know why you people cheer the likes of (his opponent). It's because he cheats on his taxes JUST LIKE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted February 12, 2006 Brain: "What would you rank Elizabeth on a scale of 1 to 10?" Gorilla: "a 10." Brain: "What would you rank Sapphire?" Gorilla: "...a minus 3." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wrestlefreak 0 Report post Posted February 12, 2006 In the 2002 Royal Rumble, Rikishi was just about to sit on Goldust but missed. King said "That's one double-feature Goldust don't wanna see!" Jerry rules! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Arnold_OldSchool Report post Posted February 15, 2006 Scotty the Body: "I'm the king in the Ring With a belt Not a crown... And when I'm in the spotlight, I'm the baddest thing around, You ever have to face me... You might be leavin Town... Cause WEEBLES WOBBLE... But "I" don't fall down....." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Arnold_OldSchool Report post Posted February 17, 2006 “Five Letters. Two Words. I Quit” “If Wrestling can be considered an artform, then Ric Flair is using oils while everyone else use mere water colors.” Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tapout 0 Report post Posted February 21, 2006 The show ending with a few very serious words from Arn Anderson. The soliloquy was delivered straight, without any change in camera angle. It was one of the best, and most serious, wrestling interviews I've ever seen. "I asked for a little of WCW's valuable time. I never ask for anything but I called in a marker on this one. You see, something's either happened or is about to happen of unbelievable magnitude. A couple of years ago, I was in Japan wrestling and I saw a kid named Chris Benoit. And it just flew off the page. That's a Horseman. I went to WCW officials. I played a very big part in getting Chris Benoit here. And he's exceeded all of our expectations. And I told him, the first rule is, Chris, anything you want in this sport, the road doesn't rise up to meet any man. You've got to reach out there and take it. But, you see there's an unwritten rule, also. A cardinal rule. It doesn't just apply to wrestling or sports. It applies to every, every, every aspect of a man's life. Number one, you take care of your family. Rule number two, you don't mess around in another man's family. You see, I know now that you're in Germany. We can't find Woman. We deduce whatever we will. The fact of the matter is, Chris, there's going to come a time, and it's not that far down the road. You see, I've got more age and years. I've got more age in the business, in this great sport. And age denotes wisdom. There's going to come a time in my life and in your life when there's no more cameras. No more TV lights. No more people running up to you at the mall saying, "Can I have your autograph?" And whether you walk away from this great sport, or whether you limp away, or whether they roll you away in a wheelchair, the one constant will always be in your life, is your family. They're there. They pat you up when you're hurt. They prop you up. They build your ego up. And they send you back out that door. Well, Chris, I'm just going to ask you one time. Is this obsession with destroying every aspect of Kevin Sullivan's life worth losing your soul? Well, is it?" Arn was a fucking genius with interveiw. Def. my top five. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted September 17, 2006 "In Iraq, you only have to count to two." Bobby Heenan, at WM7 Pinning this, for now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted September 23, 2006 "Try not to get those paws stuck in your teeth." Boss Man, to Al Snow I laughed a lot. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Connzilla Report post Posted October 1, 2006 Booker T and Shane. The punk-ass sucka, and the silver-spoon mother-fucker!' - The Rock to Shane McMahon and Booker T - WWE RAW Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Just John 0 Report post Posted October 1, 2006 I loved Cole's zinger on JBL earlier this year. JBL: I'm going to Germany this weekend to watch the World Cup! Cole: They're gonna let you back into Germany? ... ... JBL: That's not funny, Michael. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RonL21 0 Report post Posted October 7, 2006 I loved Jerry Lawlers quotes when speaking about Stu Hart; Especially when Stu Was at ringside.. "Look, McMahon, Even Stu woke up for this one"-WrestleMania 13 Kurt Angle Mocking Shawn Michaels' Theme "Im Just a Sexy Kurt, I'll make your ankle Hurt"-SmackDown My of my all time favs...Vince McMahon in 98/99 I think...I believe it was right after a pay per view when Austin lost and was fired..The next night on Raw Vince is in the ring and brings all of the wrestlers out and fires them and then rehires them and delivers this gem.....(Help me out if you can remember the exact date) "You're not fired, but remember one thing, Don't cross the boss, because I have the brass, to fire your ass"-Raw...Of course this I think led to Vince Pissing himself in the middle of the Ring when stone cold hunted him down w/ joke gun....CLASSIC Chris Jericho on Warrior DVD...Mocking warrior "Because when the moon is blood red....And the Planets from the Glimlap System align....The Sheets of the wind..Then I will SURVIVE..." His delivery was priceless... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted October 11, 2006 Royal Rumble. You know the one (loosely remembered from seeing it that year, haven't seen it since): *Piper attacks someone about to throw Flair over the rope, Flair stays in* Heenan: *almost sobbing* Thank you Roddy, thank you! I was wrong, it's not a skirt, it's a kilt! *Piper punches Flair* Heenan: Wha- IT'S A SKIRT! IT'S A SKIRT! And of course, TAKA w/ dubbing, coming out to face the RTC (Goodfather and Bull Buchanan) TAKA: Hey! You, hoodlum! You, redneck! You say you have the Right To Censor! I say you have only the Right... To Die!! AHAHAHA! AHAHAHA! For we are Kaientai... and we are EEEEEEEE-VIL! Funaki: INDEED! And against Raven and Justin Credible: TAKA: You! Raven! You have great entrance music! I know... all the words! *makes 'cawing' noise*. And you! Justin Credible (if that is your real name!). You may represent the Alliance, but we are Kaientai, and we represent EEEEEEEE-VIL! Funaki: INDEED! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianGuitarist 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 the ring and brings all of the wrestlers out and fires them and then rehires them and delivers this gem.....(Help me out if you can remember the exact date) The PPV was Judgement Day. I don't recall the exact date, but it was definitely the night after Judgement Day. All the players that night were great. Even Lawler and Ross were gold on commentary. Fuck, you could do a whole thread on just great quotes from that night: Vince: "Know what that feeling was like? AUSTIN! IT WAS BETTER THAN SEX!" Lawler: "WHOA! That's good, JR!" Ross: "He's wicked!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheFranchise 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 It's probably in this threat as it is, but most of the Rock and Hurricane stuff was great. The Rock: You ain't nothin, you ain't nothin, you ain't no superhero, not like the Scorpian King. You're a hundred pounds of nothin', five feet nothin', oh oh, scuse the Rock one second, scuse the Rock, his cell phone's goin' off! Ca-cow, hello? Hey, it's nothin', he says he knows you! Most of this stuff was gold. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrVenkman PhD 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 Good chance I already added this to the thread back in 'the day', but Lawler saying Tajiri is his favourite SmackDown! announcer when he enters the 2003 Royal Rumble is pretty funny. Ross had to tell him it was Funaki. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 "Hold on just one second here...David Penzer, you inintelligible, moronic, high-voiced DWEEB, you know nothing about the sport of pro wrestling, and you nothing about these fine competitors coming out today! So I'm gonna do all the Jerichoholics a great favor, I'm gonna introduce ALL of the contestants in the cruiserweight battle royal, and yes ladies and gentlemen, one of these fine contestants will get a CHANCE at the Cruiserweight belt...they'll never win it...but TONIGHT, you're gonna see a great match, from a great competitor! Let's get down to the list here! Comin' out first, from Sochinoko, Mexico! You notice this guy's hat NEVER comes off...he's the master of TRIK TRAK! The master of da funk, he is SUPER CALO! Look at those moves, ladies and gentlemen! He's got about a 1 in 10 chance of winning, maybe! Comin' out next, from El Paso, Mexico! This guy used to be a great bartender...but it hasn't translated to his wrestling skills...he is the scourge of the illustrious Guerrero family, he is CHAVO GUERRERO JR! Maybe a 2 out of 10 chance of winning... Comin' out next...from Mexico, this is a rags to riches story, from selling chimichangas on the streets to WCW, CICLOPE! Now we got DAMIAN, he can't afford a mask, he's using paint, but sooner or later, he's gonna buy a mask, I guarantee you that! Here we go, the winner of the Lou Ferrigno lookalike contest, this guy's also from Mexico, EL DANDY! Comin' out next, he's the World welter-light-feather weight paper champion, he is EL GRIO! Now THIS guy pulled up in a nice, rusted out '68 El Camino Chevy! He's the ugliest man in our sport today, he's the illustrious QUASIJUICE GUERRERA! A former champion in many countries, he's gonna rock-rock till he drops, rock-rock never stop, MARTY JANNETTY, ladies and gentlemen! Comin' up next, from Allentown, PA...he is a lost and lonely soul, his name is KIDMAN, and Kidman, I got some calamine lotion for you after the show! This guy is the true SHOOTER of WCW, does he have a chance?...0 out of 10, no way. He's Evan Karagias, ladies and gentlemen. Oh ya! Straight from Minneapolis, Minnesota, Oh ya! [/Minnesota accent] I want my Loverboy tape back, Lenny Lane! And of course we got Psicoscees...he's got a lot of hubcaps in his collection...if you need one, he'll procure one for you after the show! This guy is SILVER KING! If he wins 12 more matches, he'll be upgraded to Golden King... This guy is Johnny Singer...Johnny...Johnny Swinger? You ever heard of this guy? 0 out of 10 chance of winning, no chance. And last, but not least...representing Villanos 1-62, from the illustrious Villano family, he is Villano...FOUR! Ladies and gentlemen, those are your contestants in tonight's battle royal, I'm going to the back for a coffee, because none of these guys will ever, EVER beat me for my belt!" Chris Jericho, Slamboree '98 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrVenkman PhD 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 The Jannetty one is my favourite. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Team Angle Pusher 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 Oh man Jericho is awesome. I've seen it not that long ago but I laughed anyways when I read it just now. QUASIJUICE GUERRERA! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Just John 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 Wasn't there a youtube vid of that Jericho bit around at one point? That segment was great, arguably the high point of Jericho's CW title run. That's really saying something with other great bits like the 1004 holds, "I killed Juvi," Bore-us Malenko, etc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 It's probably in this threat as it is, but most of the Rock and Hurricane stuff was great. The Rock: You ain't nothin, you ain't nothin, you ain't no superhero, not like the Scorpian King. You're a hundred pounds of nothin', five feet nothin', oh oh, scuse the Rock one second, scuse the Rock, his cell phone's goin' off! Ca-cow, hello? Hey, it's nothin', he says he knows you! Most of this stuff was gold. I think a DVD of Rock's 2003 heel run would sell like mad. I know I'd buy it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toshiaki Koala 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2006 Jannetty wasn't actually in that battle royal, was he? Who was Jericho really referring to? Man, the ending to that match/angle was SO awesome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
