JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 7, 2004 Joel Gertner (I believe from Hardcore Heaven 97): "This match is scheduled for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Your referee is bald." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lt. Al Giardello 0 Report post Posted September 7, 2004 Does anyone have any quotes of when Joel Gertner would always introduce himself at the start of an ECW event. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BorneAgain 0 Report post Posted September 7, 2004 I remember a Smackdown from October of 99, that had Vince literally growling "Suck it!" to the newly reformed D-X. I laughed for five straight minutes after seeing that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianGuitarist 0 Report post Posted September 7, 2004 "Our second straight PPV in New York City, with my nuts on her chin(points to a scank in the audience) even THAT girl would look pretty. Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that was kind of shitty, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just trying to be witty, and I hope you're not offended, as that would truly be a pity, because I was gonna fondle those titties, and like that clitty" Gertner at Guilty as Charged 2001 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted September 7, 2004 From WWF Mind Games in Sep. 96: Vince: ONE...TWO...THREEHEGOTHIMOHNOHEDIDN'T! Lawler: Hey Ross, does it bother you when Vince says "one...two...threehegothimohnohedidn't!"? JR: It's repetitive, yeah...uncreative, sure... Vince: [quietly] ...well he DID almost get him... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jericholic82 0 Report post Posted September 7, 2004 And in the Michael Cole points out the obvious category, in the RAW in 1999 where Undertaker is stalking the Mcmahon family, we cut to the McMahon house and hear Undertaker talk about how nobody's home and all the evil things he's going to do, etc etc. Of course Michael Cole blurts out: Cole: KING! IT'S THE UNDERTAKER AND THE MINISTRY! No shit, Sherlock. Cole was fucking retarded in 99. Remember him giving away the results for the WMXV main event about an hour into the show? Or how about this gem: "This handicap match has turned into a two-on-one affair!" "Tune into the home shopping network after the show.....we'll have an interview with the new WWF champion" cole at wm 15 you know that's not too bad, considering that only a 5 year old might believethat Rock was gonna beat Austin JR had an almost as bad slip during the rock austin match that night when Rocky spit water on Austin (yea he was the king of spitting water before HHH) almost calling Austin the champ. "Total lack of respect for-by the champion" oops of course that pales to Bischof fgiving away the results of taped RAWs (which used to make me angry as at the time , TNT had only one feed for the whole country so I could watch nitro here on the west coast at 6 and then RAW at 9 (they changed it in summer of 98 much to my chagrin-then which I became a channel-flipper) "He beats the big guy with 3 superkicks" "Don't bother to turn the channel to the 'Raw Bowl", it was lame (im not sure of the exact line) and the smokin gunns won it so you don't have to watch that junk" I was really mad when he gave away the result of Goldust-Savio vega rematch for the vacant ic title (which had been vacated after a controversial title win by vega the week before) "That sick freak who dresses in women clothing and maskeup wins back the IC title with help from Steve Austin who you rememeber used to work here" not only gives away the match, but how it happened, "you're a mean one Mr. Bischoff" (sung in the tune of the Grinch song) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 7, 2004 Unforgiven 99: Lawler: "When Moolah and Mae Young were out here -- and they're getting older by the minute, by the way -- you forgot to tell us where they played football, JR." JR: "YOU DIDN'T COME UP WITH THAT ONE ON YOUR OWN! SOMEBODY'S HELPING YOU BACK THERE!" Lawler: "Did they play for OU, JR?" JR: "No, they didn't play for OU, King." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted September 8, 2004 WM6: Ted Dibiase does a move on Roberts, and the crowd is cheering. Jesse: "Listen to the ovation they're giving the Million Dollar Man!" Gorilla: "That's NOT for the Million Dollar Man, Jess. It's for their own pride and edification." ----------------------------------- Jesse to Okerlund at Wrestling Classics "What would you know, you've never done anything athletic in your life except tie your shoes. And I notice you're wearing velcros today!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2004 Ventura: "It isn't how you play the game, McMahon, it's whether you win or lose." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deancoles 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2004 (edited) Does anyone have any quotes of when Joel Gertner would always introduce himself at the start of an ECW event. Gertner quotes Cagematch.de quotes Just scroll down and they're there. Edit:"Weighing in at a slim, trim, buff, cut, ripped, chizzled, and JACCCKKKKKKEDDDD" is my personal favourite of his quotes. Edited September 9, 2004 by deancoles411 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2004 (About halfway through the WMIV Battle Royal) Eucker: Well, at least some of those guys went out early . . . got their per dia money. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2004 Joel Gertner From Anarchy Rulz 2000: And well, well, well. I'm here in St. Paul, Minnesota at Anarchy Rulz, and when they ask me for pearl necklaces, I show them the Family Jewels. I've made so many women so wet I could fill Olympic-sized swimming pools; and I have so much carnal knowledge, I could open my own chain of schools. For I'm the quintessential studmuffin, Joel "I've been everywhere in the United States, east west up and down, but the chicks in Minnesota are the hottest girls around. I've been with white. I've been with black. I've been with red, yellow, and brown, and if it wasn't for contraception, I'd have 27 children in this town" Gertner. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cran Da Maniac 0 Report post Posted September 9, 2004 I remember one from the old ECW tv show "I'm Joel 'There once was a girl, she was a dimunitive runt. But despite her short stature she had a really nice cunt' Gertner. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 10, 2004 Unforgiven 2001 Chris Jericho: "So tomorrow's your birthday, huh? How old are you, 37, 38 years old?" Stephanie McMahon: "I'm 25." Jericho: "I asked you how old you are, not how many men you've been with the last week." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Mindless_Aggression Report post Posted September 10, 2004 I mentioned this in a New Jack thread but it deserves repeating. On the match with the Harris Brothers: "I don't know moves, I don't know holds, I KNOW WHIPPIN YO ASS" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 10, 2004 Joel "So Large It's Hard Not Hurtin' Her" Gertner Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Staravenger Report post Posted September 10, 2004 Unforgiven 2001 Chris Jericho: "So tomorrow's your birthday, huh? How old are you, 37, 38 years old?" Stephanie McMahon: "I'm 25." Jericho: "I asked you how old you are, not how many men you've been with the last week." That was great. Every promo from WM IV that mentioned the Mississippi River. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrVenkman PhD 0 Report post Posted September 10, 2004 Undertaker is sitting in the locker room with his cast, reflecting on the hell Brock Lesnar has put him through by draggin skeletons out his closet... Kane: So, how was your week? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
deancoles 0 Report post Posted September 10, 2004 Joel Gertner at November 2 remember 97 The quintessential muffstuffer opps I mean studdmuffin "Just like the Rubix Cube, the more you play with it, the harder it gets" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 11, 2004 Paul Heyman: "Able to leap tall cruiserweights in a single bound. More powerful than a locoluchador. Look, JR, up in the ring! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's The Hurricane!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted September 11, 2004 Survivor Series '93 Vince: "What heart the 1-2-3 Kid has." Brain: "Kick him in the heart, then, that's what you do! Stomp his clots!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted September 11, 2004 Roddy Piper on Sherri "If she doesn't shave in the morning, she becomes a shrub." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
alfdogg 0 Report post Posted September 11, 2004 On the Warrior Piper: You think it's his coffee? Brain: This guy would make coffee nervous. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted September 13, 2004 Macho Man's promo before the 11/86 SNME while Elizabeth is polishing the IC Belt (not verbatim): Savage: Tonight, I defend the Intercontinental Championship against Jake The Snake Roberts. I'm gonna make a pair of Jakeskin boots out of him! Isn't that right Elizabeth? Elizabeth: Uhh, I think so. Savage: Shut UP! If I lose tonight it's your fault. See that spot? Rub it out! RUB IT OUT!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JHawk 0 Report post Posted September 13, 2004 Macho Man's promo before the 11/86 SNME while Elizabeth is polishing the IC Belt (not verbatim): Savage: Tonight, I defend the Intercontinental Championship against Jake The Snake Roberts. I'm gonna make a pair of Jakeskin boots out of him! Isn't that right Elizabeth? Elizabeth: Uhh, I think so. Savage: Shut UP! If I lose tonight it's your fault. See that spot? Rub it out! RUB IT OUT!!! You've combined the opening promo with the Mean Gene interview. Savage: "I'm gonna make some boot and belts out of that creature!" Okerlund: "Damien? You're going to skin Damien?" Savage: "No, I'm talking about I'm gonna get me a Jakeskin belt, yeah." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MillenniumMan831 0 Report post Posted September 13, 2004 Ah, you're absolutely right. I was at school just trying to figure out what he said. But, I just love the RUB IT OUT line that Savage barked out at the end of it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Super Leather Report post Posted September 14, 2004 * I got a kick out of Jesse Ventura's "I'd like to say hi to Terry Tyrell and Jane" at Wrestlemanias over time. It might have been different names every year, but those two I remember offhand. I was always like "Who the hell are these people?" Jesse and Gorilla are my all-time favorite broadcast team. * Wrestlepalooza '97 is chock full of good quotes and hijinks, especially with the "rip on the hometown hockey team" cheap heat tactics that backfired. I guess the Flyers had lost in a clean sweep to the Red Wings during the Stanley Cup finals, so both Shane Douglas and Joel Gertner decided to go there. Douglas had Francine pull out a Flyers shirt and throw it on the mat so Shane could spit on it and sweep it out of the ring with a broom...but gets cheered for it. Gertner on the other hand goes all out, and this is not a complete transcription... Gertner: "Well, well, well...everybody these days is talking about Rob Van Dam. Even Sign Guy is talking about Rob Van Dam. But he'd never say anything to you, he only talks to me. But enough about Rob Van Dam, how about Rob Van Dam's hometown hockey heroes: THE DETROIT RED WINGS!" Joey Styles: "What a jerk!" Gertner: "4-2, 4-2, 6-1...sounds like the Dudley Boys beating the Eliminators at a game of tennis. You people should be shot at sunrise. You know, your team that you think is gonna get the Stanley Cup? The only Stanley you people are ever going to have is a fat slob that sits in the second row!" The camera pans to the right to reveal a huge fat guy in a red shirt... "And as far as a cup...I'm a nice enough guy to give the shirt off my back...heck, I already have...I'd give you guys my cup, but then everybody in the building would be all fired up, and how could we deal with that? The worst part is that because of the Flyers, 2 performances of the Ringling Bros. circus were canceled and I could not go see them!...But that's ok because from the looks of all of you freaks, the circus is definitely in town...introducing first, the quintessential ringmaster and the simply ravishing studmuffin, Joel 'Electric Boogaloo' Gertner..." Introduces the Dudleys, referring to Big Dick Dudley as someone that can fly through the air with the greatest of ease. "And now that all of you people have had the opportunity to clap for us like circus seals, tonight, as we prepare to demolish the team of Drunk and Drunker [ballz Mahoney and the Sandman]...music man, if you would do me the honor: send in the clowns!" * During the WP97 intro, Rick Rude having to put over Taz and Sabu as the best wrestlers around while having an "I can't believe I'm saying this crap" look on his face is pretty funny too. * Don't remember if anyone's posted this or not (8 pages, I ain't lookin'), but Cactus Jack and Mikey Whipwreck doing a promo on their ECW tag title rematch with Public Enemy and how they're pissed that Cactus and Mikey have the belts... Cactus: Mikey, do you know what this means? Mikey: It means I'm gonna die! Cactus: HE LIKES IT! MIKEY REALLY REALLY LIKES IT!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Decadent Slacker Report post Posted September 18, 2004 From RAW this last Monday: HHH has frosting all over his face, has streamers tangled at his ankles, & is stumbling everywhere. Lawler: This is an embarrassment! JR: Yeah, an Ultimate embarrassment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeDirt 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2004 Can someone PLEASE post the text from the Jake Roberts interview from the Heroes PPV? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrVenkman PhD 0 Report post Posted September 22, 2004 From the Hear prior to Backlash 2003, Benjamin and Haas are explaining the powers of Kurt's portrait to Josh Mathews: Haas: He knows when we're sleeping. He knows when we're awake. Josh: Oh, let me guess... he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake? Benjamin: No stupid, that's Santa Claus. Kurt's more intelligent than Santa anyway. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
