Guest Astro Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 http://board.deathvalleydriver.com/index.p...=19896&view=all Jimmy Valient is my new god
Guest Dynamite Kido Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 I was actually reading this yesterday.....pretty funny stuff.
Mecha Mummy Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 Some of it is fucking hysterical (the stories Shirley Doe tells in particular), but some of them are just like "______ shit in _____'s ____", which ceased to be entertaining a long time ago. Still, it's worth reading. EDIT: I will say, though, that this is hilarious... One night in my early days when I still drank, we were all at a bar in West Virginia and Greag Valentine looked up and me, hadn't talked all night, just pounding beer and said, "So what the fuck is this BattlArts all about?" I could not make that up if I tried.
Guest Dynamite Kido Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 I'll have to agree.....Doe's stuff is classic.
GreatWhiteNope Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 This Account Has Been Suspended Damn.
Zetterberg is God Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 Looks like the server crashed. Either way, after reading that, it looks like Lita is quite a slut.
Guest The Last Free Voice Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 I bet the traffic that thread brought crashed it... Hilarious stuff.
Addy Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 Scott Keith posted the link on his journal, which probably helped crash it. Some funny stories though.
Zorin Industries Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 My favourite had to be Dusty Rhodes and Dick Murdoch blind drunk and high on drugs travelling from Minnesota to Louisiana to get a mule, and then Murdoch riding the mule into a bar while firing a pistol in the air.
Guest suplexmasta Posted September 22, 2004 Report Posted September 22, 2004 I'd like to think that posting a link to the thread on my blog made the server crash, although it was probably Keith's. Oh well... p.s., Shirley Doe is your new God. Also, Lita is more of a shoot slut than Trish ever could be. Corino really should have expounded on this in his shoot.
DCMaximo Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 Rene Goulet Bertha Faye Rimjob *vomits*
Guest Astro Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 The Anvil taught Davey Boy how to drug his wife's orange juice right before bed time each night. Then the next morning their wives would awaken with bloody, sore anuses. It took them a few bloody anuses to realize their husbands were anally raping them. ----------- Back in 1995-1996 in ECW, Raven was banging Francine. I think everyone knows he likes to degrade women... a lot. Well he would choke her, slap her, tie her up, call her names, spit in her face, etc. But what finally broke her was when he fisted her while she was tied up. She started crying so he stopped but didn't untie her. So he started sticking the hotel remote control in her, which he did at every hotel room they stayed in. She was cool with that. But then he broke out the coffee cups and she finally left him when he untied her. ------------ Sable used to live in a trailer park before she met Mero. They have a bogus "how we met story" they tell everyone. The truth is that he met her while he was in WCW on the road... at a strip club. She was a stripper who offered "extras" for a price. Mero was impressed with the service and asked her to come on the road with him. She did. Mero didn't have any interest in making it a serious relationship though. He just wanted a regular piece on the road with him. So he started pimping her out to the boys a little bit. I know of at least five boys who took Mero up on it before she got pregnant. When she got pregnant Mero, as a part-time Christian, did the honorable thing and married her. Once the pregnancy was "handled" Sable continued to bang the boys but this time it was done w/o Mero in the know. She is apparently really into three and four way "dances" with her in a handicap match of sorts. BTW, she tells the boys they cannot wear condoms because she is "allergic" to them. I know one guy suggest lambskin but she wouldn't allow it because she is a vegan. The guy said, "Well you don't have to eat it." That made me laugh. More Sunny sleaze... Ahmed Johnson did a lot of coke back around 1996 at the height of his WWF pay. I don't think I have to tell you that Chris and Tammy enjoy their fair share of nose candy. Well once they had blown through their cash but were still jonesing, they got desparate. They asked Ahmed for an eight ball on credit. He laughed and said, "Black people don't believe in credit. But we can barter." Chris asked what he wanted and Ahmed nodded in her direction. Chris looked at Tammy who shrugged before he said, "Well hey don't hurt her, okay?" So like twenty minutes later Ahmed finishes and Tammy leaves his room with the tiny, paper envelope. Instead of going back and using it with Chris (who was in their room freaking out), she did the coke with Shawn Michaels and spent the night in his room. A few hours later a frantic Candido starts banging on Ahmed's door. Ahmed answers the door and Candido asks, "Is Tammy here?" Ahmed shrugs and Chris says, "Where the fuck is Tammy?" Ahmed says he doesn't know because she left hours ago. Candido immediately abandons his search and says, "Well did she take the dope with her?" The next morning he still hasn't seen Tammy so he goes to the front desk where he runs into Shawn Michaels in the lobby. Shawn walks up to Candido and pushes a nostril close, sniffs, and says, "Thanks for the bump, Chris." Chris asked where Tammy was and Shawn said, "She's probably back in your room now." Candido stormed up to see her, got in a big argument, went to the building, and quit on the spot. The agent told him he couldn't quit w/o a written notice. So he picked up a booking sheet, flipped it over, and wrote: "I quit. Chris Candido" And that was the end of his WWF career.
Guest Staravenger Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 The Anvil taught Davey Boy how to drug his wife's orange juice right before bed time each night. Then the next morning their wives would awaken with bloody, sore anuses. It took them a few bloody anuses to realize their husbands were anally raping them. I can just imagine THAT conversation... "Homey, why is my ass bleeding and sore?" "Maybe because you were constipated sleep walking" "..."
iliketurtles Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 "There was a rumor going around a number of years ago about Big Vis forcing HBK to use his tongue as toilet paper. " YES! I believe about 90% of the shit is just fake rumors, though. "It was before a live taping of monday night raw and big Vis hadn't been seen all night. Well Vince Mcmahon is in his office doing paperwork when Shawn Michaels busts in, which was odd because at this time Michaels wasn't even on the active roster. He was still playing up his neck injury angle at this time. So anyway Michaels busts in and tells Vince he just saw Viscera on the hood of a limo snorting the longest line of cocaine he'd ever seen in his life. This had to be a big freakin line of cocaine cause you have to assume Michaels had seen some big ones in his life. Vince is outraged instantly, but before he can say anything Vis walks in Coked up out of his mind. Michaels then proceeds to just say "ain't that right vis?" Viscera in his cocaine voice replies "yeah... thats right shawn." Vince stands to his feet and tells Vis he's fired on the spot. So it was right back to the 3rd ring of hell, memphis wrestling, for Vis. Fans never even got a fairwell match. " That had me dying.
Guest Astro Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 I have heard from a very reliable source who worked in New York for 8 years that Duggan had a device known as the "Dildo Blender". He would have girls back to the room to sit on the blender and then turn it on. --- It was well circulated in the sheets back then that when Dutch Mantel was doing the Uncle Zebekiah gimmick, at the motel one night he and Eli Blu got really fucked up on No-Doz and wood alcohol and they shaved off a bunch of Dutch's back hair, glued it to his crotch, and Eli "ate him out." ---------- The character of TL Hopper was created because of Pat Patterson's secret plunger fetish
Si82 Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 It was well circulated in the sheets back then that when Dutch Mantel was doing the Uncle Zebekiah gimmick, at the motel one night he and Eli Blu got really fucked up on No-Doz and wood alcohol and they shaved off a bunch of Dutch's back hair, glued it to his crotch, and Eli "ate him out." PURE GOLD! That's some damn funny shit!
Guest JohnnySwift Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 I've got one, apparently Eric Tuttle (aka Towel Boy of ECW and CZW fame) performed "favors" for Tommy Dreamer to get more tv time in ECW. When asked about it in the locker room during a show in Buffalo, which ironically enough Rik Matrix (the wrestler who had the naked match with Blue Meany at Al Snow's gym) was also there, Tuttle ducked out of the locker room and avoided everyone the rest of the night.
redbaron29 Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 These are priceless...although some of them are probably way out there. The Anvil taught Davey Boy how to drug his wife's orange juice right before bed time each night. Then the next morning their wives would awaken with bloody, sore anuses. It took them a few bloody anuses to realize their husbands were anally raping them. I laugh so hard I cried for several minutes after reading that one. The story about Henning shitting under the ring....thats just gold there! Then again some are of course complete bullshit. Molly Holly and George.....while I wish.....gotta call boulderdash. Nonetheless a great fuckin thread
LoRisk Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 "I quit. Chris Candido" And that was the end of his WWF career. I didn't have the heart to tell the guy who originally posted this story that I know he made it up. Candido left in August/September '96 (over, I think, legitimate neck problems). During this time, Ahmed was out with one of his many injuries.
Guest Staravenger Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 "I quit. Chris Candido" And that was the end of his WWF career. I didn't have the heart to tell the guy who originally posted this story that I know he made it up. Candido left in August/September '96 (over, I think, legitimate neck problems). During this time, Ahmed was out with one of his many injuries. It was a combination of injuries and the outrageous ideas Vince and company kept giving the writers for him. I also doubt that story is true, considering the circumstances you mentioned, unless Ahmed magically jumped out of bed, was showing up at every WWF show, and Candido was still hanging around despite having a neck injury.
Kapoutman Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 Wow. There is a lot of stuff in there. Reading one page took me half an hour. I wiil go back there though. This is great. And what's the thing about The Anvil and Davey anal-rapign their wives? That is a disturbing image.
starvenger Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 As they say, it is the Greatest Page In The History Of The IWC. Also, Lita is more of a shoot slut than Trish ever could be. To judge from the posts, Lita is a "no quit no spit" kind of slut.
razazteca Posted September 23, 2004 Report Posted September 23, 2004 Things that I learned from that thread are: 1) Wrestling promoters are addicted to sex 2) Wrestlers like to shit everywhere 3) Wresting is indeed gay
Guest The Masked Avenger Posted September 25, 2004 Report Posted September 25, 2004 These are priceless...although some of them are probably way out there. The Anvil taught Davey Boy how to drug his wife's orange juice right before bed time each night. Then the next morning their wives would awaken with bloody, sore anuses. It took them a few bloody anuses to realize their husbands were anally raping them. I laugh so hard I cried for several minutes after reading that one. I can only hope that you will once be raped yourself, and thus experience firsthand the hilarity of it all. -TMA
Guest T®ITEC Posted September 25, 2004 Report Posted September 25, 2004 Aw, c'mon, it was probably just the "it took them a few bloody anuses" part. The phrasing there is quite interesting.
Zack Malibu Posted September 25, 2004 Report Posted September 25, 2004 Quality post from Shirley Doe: I spent an hour with Colt Cabana trying to get Kamala to tell us sleaze, and the best he told us was that Andre called him a nigger once, so he got his gun and put it in Andre's face. And after that, Andre was a real nice man. And then we ate pie with Kamala. Fucking classic.
iliketurtles Posted September 25, 2004 Report Posted September 25, 2004 I like how everyone in the thread is taking all this stuff for real...like HBK said at Judgment Day 2000...if it's on the internet, it's GOTTA be true. Again...90% of this shit sounsd fake. The story of Sabu KILLING someone at an Indy Show and not getting arrested? OOOOkay.
razazteca Posted September 25, 2004 Report Posted September 25, 2004 The only story that is true is the Von Erich material........ Kerry and the cheeseburger.
Corey_Lazarus Posted September 25, 2004 Report Posted September 25, 2004 Saw the Alexis Laree pics. DAAAAAAAAMN. I wanna bop her even more now.
Guest Eric the Eagle Posted September 25, 2004 Report Posted September 25, 2004 While I'd be extremely cautious to take anything there as fact, a good few seemed at least plausible to e. Of course, the one about Sabu killing that guy was quite obviously a joke post... I'd guess.... BTW, I laughed 'till I cried over the one of Iron Sheik watching Janetty's conquest... I can just picture that.
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