Most Obscenely Funny Song

[EVIL~! alkeiper 0]

The Dead Milkmen - I Dream of Jesus

[notJames 0]

"Liza and Louise" - NOFX (not so much for the whole song as much as the lines I bolded)

 

Liza's had enough of men,

She says, she won't get burned again,

She says, they don't know how to fuck,

Her last boyfriend, the shmuck,

Shared with her a nice disease,

Kept her passive, on her knees,

Till one day she took his car,

And drove it to the city.

 

Liza had put down a few,

When she met this girl named Lou,

Who convinced her to go home with her,

She said, "My name's Louise,

Now would you take your clothes off please?

I wanna take you to the moon and back,

So get on your back."

 

With a flick of the tongue,

She made her scream,

She made her laugh ,

She made her dance,

She was happy for the first time,

And you know she wanted more.

 

Now with her legs spread wider,

She needed to have Louise inside her,

She said, "I'll never forget the first time you kissed me,

Now I want you to fist me."

Louise didn't need a second invitation,

She knew just what to do,

Yeah she knew just what to do.

Liza had cum a few times before,

But she had never even seen the door,

Into the world of pleasures of the flesh,

She felt just like 16,

And her life before now was a dream,

Or even a nightmare that's over and done,

Just like warm healing rays,

Shining from the sun.

 

They make her beam,

They make her laugh,

They make her dance.

She was happy for the first time,

And you know she wanted more.

You know she wanted more.

You know she wanted more.

 

In fact, I daresay most of NOFX's songs are pretty damn funny, especially the ones that attack corporate America and the government.

[DCMaximo 0]

In spite of not wanting to like them, I can't help but find the Macc Lads hilarious. The lyrics to "Doctor Doctor" are so immature, I really shouldn't laugh, but can't help it every time I hear it.

 

I've screwed alot of boilers, I've prodded loads of tarts,

Stabbed some open wounds and I've split them all in half

Knobbed a lot of women, I've stuffed a load of birds

Shagged a lot of dogs and I've pulled a load of skirt

And there's been a load of whores when I've used a bit of force,

But they all received the benefit of sexual intercourse

When they make a lot of fuss, it makes me feel sick,

They want a soaking gusset and a more than ample dick

 

Doctor, I think I've got AIDS, I get laid ten times a day,

I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,

There's something up with my dick -

It hurts when I wank

 

I've slammed a lot of crumpet, but its doing them some good,

If they don't like it, they can lump it, they've all been ugly tugs.

One bitch, she had a flat head, put up quite a fight,

But I found a gob to place my knob,

And a place to put my pint.

I always end up shagging a really smelly bag and getting down to business

When I just don't want to shag,

Sometimes I have to do it, lie back and think of Macc,

I'm using all this drinking time to service ugly crack.

 

Doctor, I think I've got AIDS, I get laid ten times a day,

I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,

There's something up with my dick -

It hurts when I wank

[Guest Phenom]

Blink-182's "Family Reunion"

 

shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat

shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat

shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat

shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat

I fucked your mom

And i wanna suck my dad

And my momma too

Oh, is this thing on?

 

True story.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

"Shit Dick" from PanzerFoust Records.

Isn't it Panzerfaust records? And aren't they closed because they found out that the leader of the WP record company wasn't actually white?!?

i wasn't sure on the spelling, but i thought they were still around since i heard an interview with the CEO of the company (or something) back in December.

[tbondrage99 0]

Im going to have to add another Adam Sandler song, "She Comes Home To Me"

[The Ill One 0]

I second whoever mentioned Dead Kennedy's "Kill the Poor." That chorus is insanely catchy too.

[B. Brian Brunzell 0]

Type O Negative's "I Like Goils" is hilarious, especially the line I don't deal well with compacted poop.

[Guest MikeSC]

No love for Stephen Lynch? His shit is bloody hilarious.

-=Mike

[nl5xsk1 0]

"Shit Dick" from PanzerFoust Records.

Isn't it Panzerfaust records? And aren't they closed because they found out that the leader of the WP record company wasn't actually white?!?

i wasn't sure on the spelling, but i thought they were still around since i heard an interview with the CEO of the company (or something) back in December.

Sorry if it seemed like I was busting your balls about the spelling ... I really wasn't, just trying to confirm if I was right or not.

 

And I'm pretty sure that Panzerfaust is all-but-done ...

 

http://www.splcenter.org/intel/news/item.jsp?aid=9

 

Anthony Pierpont (center) poses with two friends in a California prison yard.

 

That's not all. The Center recently obtained a photograph of Pierpont in the yard of a California prison, where he was serving time for a drug offense (right). He is posing with two men who are apparently his friends — men who appear to be Hispanic.

 

Cecchini says Pierpont refused to take a DNA test to establish his "white" credentials. As a result, Cecchini wrote in a Jan. 22 internet posting, he quit the label along with its webmaster. Hammerskin Nation and Volksfront, two key neo-Nazi supporters of Panzerfaust, denounced Pierpont and withdrew all support.

 

As January came to a close, Panzerfaust had virtually disappeared. Its website had been hijacked by something called Free Your Mind Productions — an outfit apparently connected to Cecchini and the Hammerskins — and reporters who'd been talking to Pierpont just days earlier suddenly found him impossible to reach.

Good riddance to 'em.

[Anorak 0]

Robert Plant is a slimy fuck

John Bonham man, he really sucked

Those greedy fuckers, those phoney shits

They made their money off idiots

I hate Led Zepellin

12 dollar concerts were all the rage

They bought cocaine for Jimmy Page

'Stairway to Heaven' makes me see red

Bonzo's buried, only three more left

I hate Led Zepellin

 

Screeching Weasel - I Hate Led Zepellin

 

Short and sweet.

[Nighthawk 0]

Now there's a song I can get behind. I'd quote "I Hate Jimmy Page" but none of it has anything to do with him except :

 

I hate Jimmy Page

Get that faggot off the stage

[Shooting Star 0]

Mine's in spanish but oh well....Maldita puta/Carlitos

 

Maldita puta maldita bellaka se pasa toda la vida

saboreando matraca singa en los partys singa en los montes

singa en tu carro y donde quiera que la montes

meale en la chocha escupele en la cara a esa jodia perra

que no vale nada te dice que te quiere y tu sonries un momento

sin saber a cuantos machos le ah hecho ese cuento

la madre dice que ella no hace nada que alsen la mano los que fuman mariguana

y en la calle es una palga una maldita puta llega a tu casa y te da la chocha

y en la calle es una palga una jodia puta llega a tu casa y te lo mocha

 

Un dia con carlitos fui para san juan estabamos bellakos queriamos singar

de momento yo vi 2 tremendas gatas fuimos donde ellas a tirarle la labia

porsupuesto ellas cayeron con nosotros ellas se fueron y rapidamente desesperado estaba yo le baje el pantalon le pregunto su nomre y me dice ramon...oooooh shit la noche se jodio por estar bellako mira lo que me paso

oye mira jorgie pero tu no hiciste na? esperate carlitos dejame terminar

de el cuello lo amarre en el carro lo encerre el no se imaginaba lo que yo le iba a hacer de el carro lo saque corriendo el se fue saque mi .9 y par de tiros le pegue asi mi historia pudo terminar

[Darthtiki 0]

What about Sandler's At A Medium Pace, The Dresden Dolls Coin Operated Boy and Consolidated's You Suck

[Guest DVD Spree]

Amateur Transplant's "London Underground" made me laugh more than anything in the last year.

 

http://solo2.abac.com/themole/london_underground_song.htm

[the max 0]

Stephen Lynch's "Baby Raper"

[Ravenbomb 0]

"I Keed" by Triump the Insult Comic Dog

"The Scotsman" by Dr. Demento (?)

[cameron chaos 0]

"He almost looks like you" by Otis Lee Crenshaw aka Rich Hall.