Chris Masters

[CanadianChick 0]

They should have packaged him as, like, Batistas old work out buddy. Someone who used to bodybuild along with Batista and when Batista left things got sour. HHH found out about Masters and brought him in to distract Batista on a personal level.

That sorta sounds like Victoria and Trish's aborted angle from when Victoria first came in.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

It does?

 

*hangs self*

[Gary Floyd 0]

I'll give him this much: He does a full nelson, and I haven't seen one of those in a while now.

 

Other then that...Yea, he sucks. He's a HOSS BY GOD, but short one

[Guest wildpegasus]

Shit, when things are getting really dramatic and heated in the ring, he could run in as a siren goes off and yell out "OOoooh it's getting HOT in here, I gotta COOOOOOL you boys down" *really bad techno blasts as strobe lights flicker and laser beams scatter throughout the arena* *Masters pulls out his hose and fills the ring with foam* *all the wrestlers in the ring shrug and dance with him*

 

JR: Bah Gawd, Masters has turned this wrestling ring into a disco! A gay foamy disco! And the wrestlers can't resist, they're dancing too!

King: Oh god JR, I don't know if I can take this.

JR: C'mon king, it's not that bad. It's the new millenium, you have to be more open minded.

King: It's not that JR, it's... I MUST DANCE TOO! *King jumps up and rips off his shirt and leaves the crown on and goes to the ring*

JR: OH... MY.... GOD!

King: The king is a queen tonight! HAHA!

 

*lots of pelvis thrusting and fireman polls come down from the ceiling*

This story can not be complete without an appearance by Johnny B. Badd and the badd blaster.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

*on one of the firemans pole is Johnny B. Badd*

 

"You may have cooled this place down Chris Masters, but I'ma bout to make it BAAAAAAAAAD"

 

*Confetti falls from the sky*

 

*Alex Wright, Disco Inferno, and the Disqo Duck are also in the ring*

[Guest Fook_Theta]

Which reminds me.. I totally got played with how they were going to do him. I figured he would have been involved with Big Dave some how, although there is still a chance at that, it cannot be as logical as doing it from the start.

 

He did punk out Flair, so that's something.

[Gary Floyd 0]

*on one of the firemans pole is Johnny B. Badd*

 

"You may have cooled this place down Chris Masters, but I'ma bout to make it BAAAAAAAAAD"

 

*Confetti falls from the sky*

 

*Alex Wright, Disco Inferno, and the Disqo Duck are also in the ring*

You gotta add Magnum Tokyo. And Kwee Wee. Or even Billy and Chuck

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

Throw in Special K to break it all up and you got a feud.

[KingPK 0]

If they really wanted him to be an effective heel and also show off his body, they should have dressed him up like a fireman and had him do a striptease before every match. Kind of a Village People thing. People would HATE him.

We don't need to hear about your fantasies, Loss.

 

Like I said in the recap, he looks like the love child of Randy Orton and Ken Shamrock. The fact that they couldn't even make another viginette for him and instead played the same one over and over shows how much they put into THIS gimmick.

 

Punking Flair might have been the worst thing to do to debut him, as the fans didn't care about Masters already, and that totally turned everyone off from him even further.

[Guest Quik]

I like the whole "making him a blatant homosexual" idea. Like, no innuendo or ambiguity like they did with Billy and Chuck. They should make him a full-blown homosexual. He can tell people to get checked for colon cancer, or talk about AIDS tests. He'd be a massive heel... wrestling fans (especially in the south) hate musucular homosexuals. They could put the belt on him by SummerSlam.

[Guest Mindless_Aggression]

If there's gonna be gay techno dancing, you must have the American Dream Dusty Rhodes involved. I mean there's no good reason for him NOT to be there.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

Seriously...i just think they should have made him into the next Doink. A giant roided Doink would have been completely unexpected. They could have even given him the combo Doink/Brock music...

 

 

*clown music* DUN DUN DUN *evil death march*

 

similiar to the heel Doink music, but with that nazi-ish feel.

[Guest Trivia247]

So many comments fits for this...

 

first of all It seem too be a homoerotic Masabitory commentation by JR and the King over the Guy's body. The guy looks pretty much like a handful of other wrestlers in the WWE currently out there.

 

I think if it was truly a Master piece we are talking about, then how about a wrestler like around 6'6 to 6'9 with a Solid body like that, then you'd have a Monster.

 

Now these Phyisque and or Strong guy wrestlers is definately not a new concept, going back with the Dino Bravo's Jesse Ventura's and the Superstar Billy Gramhims. So they are not breaking new ground with this guy who looks like the lovechild of the Dead WBF.

 

Now....if you really want to have a compelling Heel Physique wrestler.... have him actively Admiting to taking Steroids and promotes it.... This day in age where we keep hearing about steroid use especially in baseball. he could win matches and then Inject people right out there in the ring. Of course the needles will be filled with water, but the imagry would be there, and there you'd get your heel heat. Hell give him a Double arm DDT and call it...the Injection.

 

but no one IN their right mind would do such a horrible thing, so we just got another bland Muscle bound peapod that we are suppose to react in some way too....woohoo

[Gary Floyd 0]

Seriously...i just think they should have made him into the next Doink. A giant roided Doink would have been completely unexpected. They could have even given him the combo Doink/Brock music...

 

 

*clown music* DUN DUN DUN *evil death march*

 

similiar to the heel Doink music, but with that nazi-ish feel.

Maybe Heidenreich should be the next Doink

[Guest exoticasian30]

Shit, when things are getting really dramatic and heated in the ring, he could run in as a siren goes off and yell out "OOoooh it's getting HOT in here, I gotta COOOOOOL you boys down" *really bad techno blasts as strobe lights flicker and laser beams scatter throughout the arena*  *Masters pulls out his hose and fills the ring with foam*  *all the wrestlers in the ring shrug and dance with him*

 

JR: Bah Gawd, Masters has turned this wrestling ring into a disco!  A gay foamy disco!  And the wrestlers can't resist, they're dancing too!

King: Oh god JR, I don't know if I can take this.

JR: C'mon king, it's not that bad.  It's the new millenium, you have to be more open minded.

King: It's not that JR, it's... I MUST DANCE TOO!  *King jumps up and rips off his shirt and leaves the crown on and goes to the ring*

JR: OH... MY.... GOD!

King: The king is a queen tonight! HAHA!

 

*lots of pelvis thrusting and fireman polls come down from the ceiling*

Fucking gold!

[Guest Mordecai's Cathedral]

Of course the needles will be filled with water

So you really want to kill everyone who faces him?

 

Masters VS HHH, now!

[NoCalMike 0]

Chris Masters is a product of the fact that WWE/Vince have no competition driving he product anymore, and now Vince can dictate his arousing fantasy of big muscular men, onto the shows. I mean come on, would you ever see a guy like this debuting five years ago, in the middle of a Monday Night War while trying to draw ratings? No F'n way.

[Prophet of Mike Zagurski 0]

"cough" Test "cough"

[Guest FromBeyondTheGrave]

They should have him call everything he does a "Masterpiece".

 

*Goes up to Hurricane and breaks his nose.* "That's a Masterpiece."

 

*Runs down Triple H with his limo.* "That's a Masterpiece."

 

*Rapes Christy.* "That baby, that was a Masterpiece."

[art_vandelay 0]

Now....if you really want to have a compelling Heel Physique wrestler.... have him actively Admiting to taking Steroids and promotes it.... This day in age where we keep hearing about steroid use especially in baseball. he could win matches and then Inject people right out there in the ring. Of course the needles will be filled with water, but the imagry would be there, and there you'd get your heel heat. Hell give him a Double arm DDT and call it...the Injection.

but no one IN their right mind would do such a horrible thing, so we just got another bland Muscle bound peapod that we are suppose to react in some way too....woohoo

Don't know about the live injections, but they should totally put Masters into a steroid scandal storyline. Surround him with all the controversy, but pull a twist at some point to reveal that he's not the one juicing, but someone bigger on the roster.

[Guest Fook_Theta]

I like the whole "making him a blatant homosexual" idea. Like, no innuendo or ambiguity like they did with Billy and Chuck. They should make him a full-blown homosexual. He can tell people to get checked for colon cancer, or talk about AIDS tests. He'd be a massive heel... wrestling fans (especially in the south) hate musucular homosexuals. They could put the belt on him by SummerSlam.

I keeping hoping they'll do this with Batistia or someone that you'd never suspect as a homosexual. You want acting and legitimacy in the eyes of Hollywood? That is the best way to do it.

 

Plus you know those gay guys are huge buyers of merch.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Shit, when things are getting really dramatic and heated in the ring, he could run in as a siren goes off and yell out "OOoooh it's getting HOT in here, I gotta COOOOOOL you boys down" *really bad techno blasts as strobe lights flicker and laser beams scatter throughout the arena* *Masters pulls out his hose and fills the ring with foam* *all the wrestlers in the ring shrug and dance with him*

 

JR: Bah Gawd, Masters has turned this wrestling ring into a disco! A gay foamy disco! And the wrestlers can't resist, they're dancing too!

King: Oh god JR, I don't know if I can take this.

JR: C'mon king, it's not that bad. It's the new millenium, you have to be more open minded.

King: It's not that JR, it's... I MUST DANCE TOO! *King jumps up and rips off his shirt and leaves the crown on and goes to the ring*

JR: OH... MY.... GOD!

King: The king is a queen tonight! HAHA!

 

*lots of pelvis thrusting and fireman polls come down from the ceiling*

Polls as in poles?

 

Or polls as in Exclusive Polls on WWE.com! Who should Chris Masters squirt with his hose next? Christy! Candace! Trish! or Chris Benoit! Vote now exclusively on WWE.com.

[1234-5678 0]

A failed gimmick? In the WWE? In 2005?

 

No way..............

[iggymcfly 0]

Out of the ideas proposed for Masters, the one that I think could really work is the gay fireman angle. He's just a little too short and round to look like a real stripper, and it would be absolutely hilarious if he sprayed foam when HHH was going off in an Evolution promo or something. He could liven up the boring diva segments a little bit too.

 

Another thing he could do would be to repeatedly go into heels locker rooms, knock on the door, and say something like, "I'm sorry, you're going to have to evacuate, there's been a fire reported....... (heel starts to leave) in my pants!" (Cue techno music)

 

It could be the running joke that they always treat it seriously until he starts dancing. I seriously think there's some mileage on that gimmick. He could get at least a three month run with the IC belt if he was a face with that gimmick.

[Jobber of the Week 0]

I love that gimmick no matter how many muscleheads they try it on, because it reminds me of Heenan babbling on with way too much excitement. "LOOKATTHAT LOOKATTHAT OH MY LOOKATTHAT OH SWEET MUSCULAR JESUS"

 

The wrestling sucks, but Richards sold it all well that it looked like a decent match to the casual fan despite the crappy offense.

 

Really, bring back The Announcer That's Too Excited. I don't care if it's JR or Lawler, just have one of them verbally orgasming all over the place.

 

And lastly, have him learn the titty bounce thing.

 

*wrestler walks to ring, flexes, poses*

JR: GOOD LORD HE'S A HOSS LOOK AT THIS IT'S THE GENUINE ARTICLE LOOKATTHAT LOOKATTHAT...

*wrestler does titty bounce*

JR: OH MY ~GOD~!!!

 

Alright, I'm not being serious. The base concept even as it is now sucks. Come on. Admit it. You'd laugh if they did that.

[razazteca 0]

WWE needs to hire Don West and Tony Shiavonie.

[Adam 0]

*Masters does the Full Nelson*

 

Schiavone: THERE'S HIS MOVE!

 

West (out of breath): I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TONY! THIS GUY IS GREAT!

 

 

Actually, no. Wouldnt work. The gay fireman angle would be gold though, they could blatantly steal Agnes' idea for an OAOAST character and give him the Bubba Bomb, and call it 'Fierce Pounding of the Ass'

[Guest Just Looking]

Don't know about the live injections, but they should totally put Masters into a steroid scandal storyline. Surround him with all the controversy, but pull a twist at some point to reveal that he's not the one juicing, but someone bigger on the roster.

To me, that sounds like a storyline for Simon Dean as a way to expand his character's motivations. Have him say that steroids are cutting into his place in the market.

[Jobber of the Week 0]

WWE needs to hire Don West and Tony Shiavonie.

Either that or hire back Patterson to take the Heenan role for his matches.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

The only gimmick idea I can see for him as the 'Masterpiece' is have him be an artist. He comes down to the ring in a beret with with a canvas, or sketchpad or whatever, something to draw on. He then goes in there and beats up the opponent. When they are laying on the mat in defeat, he whips out a sketch pad and does a quick draw of them. The next week, the sketch is water colored and finished. He could title it, explain it's artistic views, etc. His interviews could include all those words you see in those "high art" books. He could even try to create a couple of wrestlers into his own 'Masterpieces'. He could try to create something out of nothings (Maven could use a gimmick).

 

I may be the only person in the world who thinks that could work...